Weird Comic Book Stuff #1

 

It's time for YET another comics article. Yes, I like these because I like comic books and they are easy and fun to talk about. This will be a series of articles about weird shit within comic books, weird villains, heroes, stories, writers, artists. Just the stuff that makes you go "what the jumping jesus hell were they thinking?" so expect a LOT of stories from Bob Haney and Bob Kanigher to show up here because they practically made a career at doing weird shit.

I pretty much made this article so I could show you the greatest goofy ass bad guy who ever existed in comic books. I will probably say that a LOT but fuck it, Tapping Tommy is amazing. He's a tap dancer 
(with killer tap dancing robots of course) who fought The Defenders (Defenders #30 I believe) and somehow got the better of them for a short time. The Defenders at that time had Dr. Strange, Valkyrie, Nighthawk, and a little guy named The Incredible Fucking Hulk, so it's already pretty hilarious how he wasnt beaten to tar in like one panel. Sadly, Tapping Tommy has not been seen in the last 45 years but if I ever somehow get a job at Marvel Comics you'll get your day Tommy!!!

This guy is also amazing. He's got the last name Weele, which kinda sounds like Wheel so of course in COMIC BOOK FASHION he decides to create a giant wheel to destroy the Rocket Racer and Spider-Man. I just had to include him in this one becuase I get the feeling Marv Wolfman who wrote the story just came up with his alter ego's name Jackson Weele first and just HAD to create something for him. Ridiculous and silly but oh so much fun. He even got more than one appearance and apparently his last appearance was in 2016. Wild. Sadly it was in a Deadpool book so I will never get to read it because Deadpool gives me the shits.

The last fellow we are going to talk about today is the Hypno Hustler and if you guessed he appeared in a comic book published during the 1970s give your self a Captain Fucking Obvious award because there's no other decade something this insane could come from. He's pretty much disco Ringmaster from Ringmaster and his Circus of Crime (don't worry I will talk about them) where as he uses his guitar to hypnotize people and would it surprise you if I told you Bill Mantlo also created Tapping Tommy?? Oddly enough, he actually made it out of the 1970s and had more appearances. YET MY POOR TOMMY GETS NOTHING.

I may have poked some fun at these guys but all of their origin stories were fun comics that I would recommend, Defenders  #30, Amazing Spider Man #182-183, and Spectacular Spider Man #28. All from the 1970s, a very fun and weird decade for comic books. Anyway, I'll catch you later moon doggies!!

Weekly Comic Discussion #2

 

That's right true believers! It's time for more discussion on some comics I bought! (these were actually published last week but I forgot to pick them up...) I still plan to review X of Swords but since that's gonna be done next week I'll save my thoughts to make a whole review on that by itself so let's see what's up with the comics I picked up this week.

Black Widow #3: Kelly Thompson is one of the best creative people at Marvel Comics right now and deserves more people taking a look at her work. And I want to kiss the beautiful art by Elena Casagrande and Jordie Bellaire (he did the cover and she does the interiors) The story so far is that Black Widow coming back to her apartment from spy stuff is abushed and it goes ahead three months, where she is now has a son and a fiancé and you know some big shit is up. This issue goes to show that one of the bad guys (Weeping Lion.... I don't know who that is) is now getting ready to send in some goons to kill Black Widow and all of the villains just want to leave her in the happy place where she is because they know she'd fuck their shit up if they fail at killing her or her new family. The art in this is fantastic. Just a CHEF'S KISS. The cool fight scenes and everything. I don't think I've seen Elena Casagrande's art before but give her all the comics. All of them.  This issue comes Recommended!

U.S.Agent #1: This one is done by long time writer Christopher Priest who has been working for Marvel Comics since he was a teenager in the late 1970s. He did work for Marvel, DC, and Valiant and I believe even is a preacher! What a life! This is a very fun little story involving the John Walker USAgent, I'm sure people are angry because I think John Walker was without an arm or a leg the last time people saw him but continuity is silly by my book. All comic stories are canon even the ones that contradict the other ones, and I think that was said by Grant Morrison so yeah. The most important thing is that this comic is fun and I do want to see where it goes. I enjoyed the interplay between the asian dude and USAgent, and I want to see how the story ends and I figure that's a good thing. We will see how this plays out hombres! This issue comes Recommended!

                                                              

Marvel Indigenous Voices #1:  I'm for peoples of all types and kinds getting to work at Marvel Comics. I don't like the creepy Comicsgate assholes that appear all over the twitter. I just can't come out and say something is perfect and amazing just because someone who wasn't white did it. I did actually pick up this issue and give it a fair shake unlike anyone in that terrible twitter hashtag movement Comicsgate who will yell at everything because their youtube daddies tell them too. And I'm not going to completely trash this comic either. First off the art by Jeffrey Veregge from the covers to the first two pages is awesome. I love that style and think he made The Watcher look cool as hell. I enjoyed the two page spread and everything. I even want to buy the other variant covers and that only happens when its Skottie Young or that Arthur Germ fellow. The rest of the art feels like it needs a bit more improvement. Twitter was laughing at a piece in the first story of Captain Marvel and yeah it's not good, BUT I did think several pieces within that story actually were pretty good. The first story I also felt probably needed more room to breathe. The second story was pretty good, it's got Dani Moonstar (one of my favorite mutants) and Wolfsbane (another one of my favorite mutants, what can I say I love the New Mutants!) and they have come looking for a mutant who can't control his powers yet and hurt the son of a sheriff. I also loved the ending with Wolfsbane being so happy over the teddy bear. Great stuff. The last story was honestly so forgettable that even after reading it not that long ago I can't remember anything about it except it had Silver Fox in it. I still Recommend this comic if only for the beautiful art but it is defiantly a mixed bag. Still I do see possibilities for these people to grow within the Marvel Universe and all that jazz. I certainly believe my first story for Marvel would be worse if I were given the chance but then again I'm the only person who wants to see a Tapping Tommy/Hypno Hustler team up.

And that's about it for the comics that aren't X-Men that I picked up this week. I might pick up some DC or some indie stuff next week because I don't want this to be come a Marvel heavy blog. 

What If Wednesday #2

 

Hello ladies, gentlemen and people of ambiguous gender identity! Hello and welcome to What If Wednesday! A series that takes place each Wednesday where I discuss three issues of Marvel's what if comic book! I know I said last week that we were going to alternate but I just felt like reading more of series two, because I've read most of series one and very little of series two and it is my blog and I can do whatever dumb shit I want with it so there!

Holy hot damn! Now this is a comic book story! Written by George Caragonne (a man I had never heard of until today just to realize he died in 1995...) with art by Ron Wilson! Seriously just look at the cover to part one of this story Fuckin Adolf Hitler's corpse just rotting away like the fucking useless trash it was. If that doesn't get you to pick up a comic book then I really and truly don't know what would. The story is what if the guy who created the super soldier serum DIDNT die and was saved by Captain America at the last second and holy shit this story ends up getting DARK. I mean they kill Hitler and the Red Skull (THATS WHAT THEY THINK HOHOHO) and fucking Captain America, Steven Rogers ends up being the only survivor of a U-boat attack and becomes president......and then starts treating everyone who isn't a white man like shit and you then realize it's that fucking nazi piece of shit The Red Skull who is in a cloned body of Captain America... HIS super soldiers end up killing The Fantastic Four, The Hulk, Ant-Man, Spider-Man and the fucking X-Men before they even get to become heroes. So it's up to the REAL Captain America and HIS Avengers to beat the everloving shit out of the Red Skull and his super soldiers and save America, which they do but damn this is still one dark What-If and I'm glad that I live in the real world where America didn't go down any fascist path....oh wait. Highly Recommended. Get these issues.

One of the things I like the most about What If comics it that you never really know what you are going to get. Sometimes like with #28 and #29 you get some crazy story that takes in all of the Marvel universe and is a big bruhaha. And sometimes you just get a smaller scale story with What If #98, written in the last year of the titles publication, comes a story that revolves around a few mutants. Rouge, Destiny, Nightcrawler and Mystique. In this story they pretty much have Nightcrawler be Mystique's son (the original idea by Chris Claremont was that Mystique turned into a dude and had lovings with Destiny and they birthed Nightcrawler but I do believe shes his mom in the real universe too, there's so much between like 1992 and 2017 that I don't know about marvel comics) This story has Nightcrawler living with her in the attic when she takes Rogue in, she's training with the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants (I love how they call themselves stuff like that because no one really thinks what they are doing is evil even if it is evil!) Rogue and Nightcrawler become friends and I think I'll leave everything else a secret becuase I liked how they played it out. Art I really liked (mostly, Blob looked silly) by Leonardo Manco and a nice little story by Bill Rosemann. Recommended.

                                                 

Alright here we go talking about the literally only What If issue I owned as a kid and the only one that goes for more than $3 at any good comic store, well of the second series at least. Don't pay 3 bucks for any of them even the best ones because they aren't hard to find. Anyway What If #105 is the first appearance of the Mayday Parker, Spider-Girl, who's appearance in this issue was so damn popular she got TWO series and like at least 120 issues. I enjoyed what I read of her actual series. This diverges from the original universe by having the baby Peter and MJ were having during the terrible overlong never ending clone saga. The Neverending Story has nothing on the Spider Man Clone Saga from the 1990s. but this was 1997 and that was FINALLY coming to an end. Anyway enough bitching about that story and let's see how good Tom DeFalco and Ron Frenz's story holds up! And this definetly reads like an origin story, like they were already planning to make a Spider-Girl series and thought this was a good place to put the origin in to see if people wanted it and they did! This shows off the new Fantastic Five and A2 which weren't as popular as Spider-Girl... it sets up that Mayday is a basketball player AND into science, so she's being torn between two different high school worlds, so you can have all kindsa drama with that but not feel like you're rehashing the Stan Lee/Steve Ditko High school days of the original Spider-Man. The art is, I have to say, not Ron Frenz's best, the man did much better art, even during this era, Not to totally say the art completely sucks but theres some wonky shit within this one. It's still Recommended tho.

I think we will just keep going with Volume 2 because I have to read at LEAST 90% of it and I want to see how and when I will hit one that really makes me yell and scream because I just can't keep Recommending them, the people want blood!!!

 

The Disney Afternoon / Disney of the 1990s Cartoon Review Thing Part 2.

 I have decided that it's long enough for you guys to wait for my INSANE CONTROVERSIAL DISNEY OPINION that will probably only bother one or two people but still! So It's time for the second part of this series about reviewing the Disney Afternoon shows (and other shows that Disney produced that were around at the same time too)

And the CONTROVERSIAL OPINION COMES OUT! I am about 98% ambiviant towards Winnie the Pooh and his adventures. I do not love or hate these guys. I will even admit that Tigger can be amusing for just a little bit, but I never really set out to ever watch the movies or shows they were in. They were just characters that existed. I doubt this opinion is that controversial except to the 13 really hardcore Winnie the Pooh fans out there that will never read this blog, but if we are talking about hardcore fans of something doesn't that mean any opinion can be controversial? I mean there are people out there who take loving or hating just about everything too seriously and it's really sad. Uh. Yeah, I get no real enjoyment out of Winnie the Pooh but if you do I'm happy because enjoyment is a good thing. The theme song is pretty good though.

Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers however I think is one of the best Disney Afternoon shows.....ever! It's definetly in the top 3 and to be fair I'm always wondering which one of those 3 are the best. Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers is great. (Everything with Chip N Dale in it is great. I had a VHS tape of like 3 cartoons from the 1950s on it and I ran that bitch into the ground. The one with Donald Duck's little ship is the greatest Disney cartoon ever and you can eat it if you disagree) This show also had 3 new friends for Chip N Dale. Monterary Jack an Australian mouse who loves cheese and Gadget Hackwrench, a mouse that 1. everyone thinks is cute even if they are a furry or not and 2. has her own cult in russia. (https://medium.com/@thefandome/gadget-hackwrench-religion-or-how-a-fandom-reborn-into-a-cult-c66050342d64) This world of ours is a strange, beautiful and sometimes depressing place isn't it? The bad guys were also incredibly entertaining from the crazy professor (professor is a better word then scientist) Norton Nimnul (a name Stan Lee would be proud of) to Fat Cat and his gang ! This show also gets me to say something I love saying and that is "portnoyd is wrong and stupid" becuase he is indifferent to this show. All in all a great adventure show that was also pretty funny. I recommend it to everyone. Clearly the best show of this part.

I had to go to check that there wasn't a show in between Rescue Rangers and this show. I seriously forgot The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh was even a thing and didn't want to go around to try to find some show I didn't know diddly about to talk about and thankfully there was no such show so I could discuss TaleSpin and as a kid I did not really like this show. I think the lady bear and her daughter annoyed me too much as a child. I have no idea but it wasn't as good as DuckTales or Rescue Rangers or shows we will get too in the next part but I did just rewatch an episode and I don't know what Little Claw was on because the show was pretty darn enjoyable, not top 3 or anything but still I would like to watch more. The show revovles around Baloo (from the Jungle Book) having to do jobs for Rebecca and getting in and out of trouble from Don Karnage (I love the way he says his name) and Shere Khan (who is now a ruthless sociopathic CEO which is a perfect job for a Tiger)  and I like Baloo's laid back nature which is straight outta the Jungle Book. A fun show that you should view! Also the NES game is underrated and haters of it suck.

Next time we talk superhero ducks, Goof Troops and The Little Mermaid?!?

Weekly Comic Discussion #1

 

That image isn't from a comic released this week but I don't think any of the comics I picked up this week were released this week, so it kinda works. Now welcome one and all to a thread where I discuss the comics or at least some of them that I picked up this week. I live on an island in Canada so sometimes comics distribution is all over the dang place. and by sometimes I mean all the damn time. So let's just discuss some stuff thats on the new comics racks... even if some of it might be old by now!

If I had to pick a favorite newer writer man of these stories involving space raccoons and trees then that man would be Al Ewing. The man clearly is having a lot of fun writing these stories and it comes through in the stories. This story is a murder mystery that involves fallout from the last marvel event, Empyre (And let me rant about Marvel events here... can you at least have the event have some fallout and stories dealing with it... if these are supposed to CHANGE EVERYTHING FOREVER you can't jjust go whoops lol lets forget about it after SUPER FARTS DESTROY THE UNIVERSE #6 written by David Warmington comes out so I actually approve of the story continuing in its own way. I don't approve of events taking 3 issues or more out of the stories I want to read and also taking like 5493589 parts to read, even if there have been events I've enjoyed in the past. You gotta fix this shit Marvel or I'll rip out whats left of my hair and send it to you. I PROMISE THIS) where the Kree and the Skrull became one thanks to the Kree/Skrull Young Avenger known as Teddy. They also fought those weirdo tree people from those bonkers ass Avengers comics from the 1970s. anyway the two empires emerged into one like when Teddy merges into Wiccan's butthole. lol i'm 12.Anyway this issue ends with setting up ANOTHER EVENT and I'll at least buy the issues that Guardians tie into because not having a single issue breaks my brain. I'd recommend buying the trade of this, all 8 issues have been really dingle darn good.

Well this is a part of the storyline Outlawed (or as I like to call it Civil War III: The Search for Ms. Marvel), which was clearly going to be somewhat of a mini event until Covid-19 happened and they had to not put out as many comic books as they do. Now it's just a normal sized storyline. Also The New Warriors comic that everyone in that stupid hashtag movement on Twitter Comicsgate shit their pants about, which makes me always want to read something because those idividuals are rock stupid. I really enjoy most of the new diverse legacy teen characters and thought this sounded fine, even if it really is just Teen Civil War but with less Mark Millar which is always a good thing (the only reason the Kick Ass and Kingsman movies were any good is that Matthew Vaughn cut out most of the stupid horseshit that Mark Millar loves) Anyway this story happens after Viv Vision explodes in Ms Marvel's school and they start a law called Kamala's law and that means you have to be 21 before you can be a superhero so you know the teen heroes aren't lie down and the set up in Champions #1 and #2 was very interesting and I think I'm gonna be seeing how this story ends.

I'm sure I will find some comic to read that I will end up yelling about, maybe I will buy Three Jokers written by a Geoff Johns who clearly doesn't care about writing comic books anymore because man the second I saw that I thought "wow that's a fucking stupid idea for a comic" but it will probably be on another slow week like this one. Also I will get the latest X-Men X Of Swords thing because Jonathan Hickman and Friends X-Men relaunch has been pretty great lately, but that will have an entire post related to it. Anyway, we will see what happens next week!

What If Wednesday #1

 That's right mother fuckers! We are going to talk about the greatest comics ever published right here, mother fucking WHAT IF? I love alternative takes on characters and stories which you can do in comics! What If was the best thing that Roy "The Boy" Thomas (do you think he hated that Stan gave him that nick name, seeing as he was like 25 at the time?) ever did for comics. Created by him in 1977 and still gets brought out every little time Marvel feels like it, however most of the comics we will be discussing are from the 1977 to 1984 series and the 1989 to 1998 series. The first had 47 issues and the second had 114 issues, so we will hopefully be doing this for many Wednesdays to come!

This weeks first comic is What If, Volume 2, #1 and boy howdy is this a hum dinger of a comic book. Written by Roy Thomas with art by Ron Wilson you get a lot of stuff for your $1.25 (I wish comics still cost that much) The original story The Evolutionary War was a story that took place in the previous years annuals and if I recall correctly was a pretty enjoyable affair... it's about The High Evolutionary (who does sadly not get as ripped as FlowingMindspin) creating a genetic bomb to well cause man and mutant to evolve without their consent. And the Avengers have to stop him because who knows WHAT people could evolve into! This story tells us... they evolve into big headed freaky looking motherfuckers who are a hive mind, no more care for good or bad... but powerful enough to make a fucking Celestial (you know those giant robot God things created by Jack Kirby that Marvel will now make into a movie that I'll watch once and go yeah that was fun but will read the Eternals by Jack Kirby 1,000 times because the comics are better than the superhero movies. Just letting you know that) but what about the mutants. They also become a hive mind and decide to leave earth and fuck the shit out of the universe (no joke, they beat the shit out of the Kree, the Skrulls AND the Shi'ar (you know the bird woman that Professor X bones from time to time is one of them before going on to fuck up Galactus, Death and Eternity before becoming a wild mix of both Death and Life AND CREATING A NEW UNIVERSE.)  Roy Thomas literally packed the entire Marvel Universe into this story and its a whole hell of a lot of fun to read. Highly Recommended.

The Armor Wars was a story that took place in Iron Man's book (except for one issue of Captain America which tells Captain America's side of the fight they had) and was one of the best Iron Man stories probably ever! And this What If is a neat side piece that should be included in any trade that has the full story within it (and the story was originally called Stark Wars which is not as good) Anyway the original Armor Wars story involved Tony Stark finding out that technology he created was being used by Justin Hammer so he decides to make sure that no one cause use that technology by beating up every body who might have the technology, regardless if they are good or bad. It's got a lot of fights, internal pathos and great art! This what if issue is not perfect but I think it's a good companion piece to the original story. The what if differs is that Justin Hammer finds out that Second Ant Man was sent by Tony to help him uncover what was going on and his daughter Cassie gets kidnapped and he has to rat on Tony. Justin Hammer then again takes control of Tony's armor and causes him to help blow up S.H.I.E.L.D. bases and both East and West Coast Avengers bases and makes Tony unmask in front of everyone and confess making it harder for Tony to walk back. Then if that wasn't enough A.I.M. literally shoots Justin Hammer in the back and steals ALL the information he had! So Tony has to end up teaming up with a group of armored bad guys to fight A.I.M. and in the end has to fight for his time in court. The interactions between Tony and the other characters are fun but I'd still believe that if Tony told any of the Avengers he was being controlled they would believe and help him. And the art is pretty good but I don't like how now Superstar Artist of Batman, Greg Capullo draws Justin Hammer. Despite these issues I'd still say What If #8 comes Recommended!

I've got to admit some probably controversial opinion right here and now and say that I think the majority of the 1990s X-Men stuff is very unmemorable. I didn't even read them as a kid all that much because I was picking up much better back issues from the 1980s. I find the 1990s era of X-Men very dull and I know a lot of people think highly of this era but it leaves me very cold. I couldn't even tell you about the story of X-Cutioner's Song except it involves Strfye and Cable way before they were put in better stories and actually made enjoyable characters. I'm sure someone is complaining about how they make Cable a kid in new issues of X-Men but I actually enjoy that series by Gerry Duggan which is a whole part of the X-Men relaunch of sorts by Jonathan "Big Jon" Hickman. Anyway this time the X-Men die and then Cable fights Stryfe and takes over for X-Factor  and X-Force who become the new X-Men. There's not much too this story written by Fabian Nizicia's brother and while I'm not a fan of 90s X-Men, I did enjoy his Thunderbolts but I don't think comics worked out for his brother. The art is very of that era and if you dig it you dig it. I'm kinda hot and cold on the art from this era. I will probably end up adding this to my collection as not owning every issue of something gives me hives but I don't think I can give it a recommendation. Not Recommended. Oh, and like everyone else on the internet I'm obliged to go "oh nice, the sex number!"

That's it, next time we will alternate and go for a full discussion of issues from the original volume. What three will be picked! Who knows! That's why you gotta come back next week! 

Triggered (2020)

 

I am a fucking sucker for movies like this. Movies that take a group of people anywhere between like 5 and 10 are in one place and have to deal with an insane situation. Like the movie Cube for example. Several people stuck in a well Cube that had deadly traps in it. I call these movies Deadly Ass Situation movies. This is a terrible opening paragraph. 

The Deadly Ass Situation that the people in this movie have to go through is a pretty doozy. 9 High School "friends" re-unite 5 years later and get into a dilly of a pickle, Apparently one of them accidently killed another friend, Caleb and his dad who was a science teacher has gotten them into a trap... he's got them all set into bomb vests that they can't get off. There's a timer on each bomb. and this is where it's more than just a regular situation.. it's a DEADLY ASS situation... if they kill each other they will gain more time. Only one person will live and who will it be?!? And of course some people decide to go all murder crazy!

I have to say that most of the acting is pretty good, the characters play usual archetypes you see in movies like this. The dumb one. The loner rebel. The shy one. The smart one, you know that stuff but they feel like what they are supposed to be. Maybe some of the murder crazy people go a bit over the top so if you aren't into that I don't know what to say, but I enjoyed his go from being a pretty okay guy to a crazy loon. 

The movie surprises aren't that surprising if you watch as many of these movies as I can but they might be if you don't? I guess? I think what I like about these movies is that they always keep the pace going and never get boring. Always some kind of secret coming out or something more wild like an explosion. I like explosions.

In the end, this movie deserves a better review than I gave it. I hope you check it out because it's an entertaining ride, the name is stupid though. 

Re-reading comics!

 

Well as you can see it's time for another set of articles to be put up... I like comic books... a lot. They are fun to collect, fun to read, sometimes even fun to argue with other people with (but not too serious about) even the people behind them are fun to read about (and sometimes sad weirdos you don't want to spend any time with but that sometimes happens between the people behind your favorite things) Anyway, I've decided to re-read some stuff because I want to know what to prune from the old collection (and I have a whole hell of a lot of stuff) so expect a lot of interesting stuff being discussed in the next few days.

Up First will be Ms. Marvel Vol 1. The Kamala Khan version.

The Disney Afternoon Review Showdown Part 1

 

Well It's finally time for me to go on and discuss every Disney Afternoon show. And some other shows that probably weren't techinally Disney Afternoon but were made by Disney made between 1985 and 1997 (The Disney Afternoon itself started in 1990..) and to start I will be rating the shows as either Super Cool and I Like It. Eh, It's Okay I guess, or Fuck Off Wuzzles (I think you can already tell how much I enjoyed that show)

The Wuzzles was the first Disney TV show made in the year of my birth 1985 and It's relativity obscure and only lasted 13 episodes. It's pretty much included in here because I didn't want some pedantic weirdo going "WELL ACKSHULLY" on me and that I've always been somewhat interested in the show because I've always been interested in obscurities (and it's always a crap shoot with them, sometimes it's something that should have been more popular and sometimes it's horse shit) and I'm going to be fair and say if I were born in like 1980 and were alive during the quick Wuzzles craze I have a feeling I'd have had fun playing with the actual toys because to be fair, it's a neat little idea. The actual show just feels lazy. I was going to make a joke about how the show feels like it was voiced by the interns at Disney but actual voice actors who actually do good jobs in other places voiced these characters. Hell one of them was the damn voice of Bullwinkle for crying out loud. I guess even the best can have their off days. This whole show just feels like a proof of product that they made to see if they could actually make animated shows for TV and the two episodes I watched show that off (and yes people on Youtube, you don't have to watch an entire show to know you don't like it) Thankfully A lot of stuff after this is actually good. Sorry Wuzzles but you get the Rating of Fuck Off Wuzzles.

Appearing on the same day as the Wuzzles apparently was The Adventures of the Gummi Bears, which is the better show because well, it clearly is, just from the one episode I watched (and yes I do intend to watch more) it had a better plot, characters and all that good stuff that makes a television show of any kind memorable and had better animation and voice acting which is important for the whole cartoon thing. I actually laughed several times at goofy stuff that was happening in the show which was much better than being bored to tears by the Wuzzles. Even the theme song was better. The overall plot of the show is the Gummi Bears and a boy named Cavin (which is a dumb name) keep the Kingdom of King Gregor from being taken over by the evil Duke Sigmund Igthorn. The medieval kingdom thing is a neat touch for a show such as this and Michael Eisner also was ahead of creating this show but I'm just going to go ahead and give most of the credit to the other two guys who probably fleshed it all out and made something out of it. Rating: Super Cool and I Like It

Now here's the best cartoon of this first part and one of the top Disney TV cartoons ever! Based mostly around the Carl Barks comics of the 1940s to the 1960s except with new character added in (and I'm sure lots of stories not based on his work) comes DuckTales and it's incredibly fun characters, fun adventure stories (and a lot that were more comedic too) and great comedy. This show still cracks me up and I'm 35 dang years old. The only thing I can think of thats negative is that the characters of Webby and her grandma kinda suck and Donald Duck only appears in a few episoes but nothings perfect in this world (I also think the Carl Barks comics are better because they have more Donald Duck but that's just me)  Rating: Super Cool and I Like It

Join me again when I decide to make part two of this thing where I will share some CONTROVERSIAL Disney opinions at you. Holy hell, here's one right now: Disneyland isn't that amazing but I'm not really a theme parks kinda guy. wanting to piss, puke and shit yourself when your on any kind of ride kinda kills most of the fun of a theme park don'tcha know? ANYWAY what are my other controversial opinions about THE HOUSE OF MOUSE... find out next time.....or read anything else on the internet.

Welcome to Version two of my blog!

 Well, I had to start up my blog because I lost the password to the other one, but that's a good thing because the majority of material on that blog was very bad and you should never view it.

Anyway enjoy the last few updates from my old blog and hopefully I'll have some good stuff for you later!

The Final Episode #2: Inspector Gadget (Gadget and the Red Rose - February 1st, 1986)

 The Final Episode #2: Inspector Gadget (Gadget and the Red Rose - February 1st, 1986)

Inspector Gadget was one of my favorite cartoons as a kid. I watched the absolute hell out of it. Like I don't want to even know how many times I watched every episode. It had to be at LEAST 50 times each. It was mostly because for the first season Nelvana, a Canadian corporation helped with the animation. So season 1 would be shown in Canada about 5820 times a day on several different channels. I still find the show to be very amusing. At least the first season. The stories of a dumbass cyborg (would you consider Gadget a cyborg?) with all kinds of well gadgets installed in his body and his niece and dog (who actually solve all the crimes) IS great fun to me!

As a kid I never knew there was a second season with 21 extra episodes... and I'm glad I never did because it would have been an incredible disappointment to me to have to watch these episodes. They aren't objectively the worst I've ever seen they just aren't as well animated, well voiced (several voice changes), have pointless new characters (we will get to him in a second) and are just not as enjoyable. Like everything was done worse for the second season which ran from 1985 to 1986.

I do remember the first time I ever saw a second season episode, it was years after I did find out there even was one... and I was excited to find said episode... I had heard from a now defunct website known as Jump the Shark (where people discuss when any random TV show Jumped the Shark) and several people within that site said the introduction of Corporal Capeman (pictured above) was when the show jumped the shark... and yeah I can't disagree with them on that. This fucker is completely useless and not funny in the slightest, just like everyone on that site said... thankfully Townsend Coleman who voiced him went on to do much better work in a lot of much better cartoons.

Anyway, this episode is really nothing to write home about. It involves Inspector Gadget actually creating a seemingly worthwhile invention (which is weird in itself because the guy is a moron, like it's the whole show!) and Dr. Claw finds out about it so he gets this old gangster out of retirement to stop Gadget's new invention with his old invention a Tommy Gun that shoots out rotten potatoes and yes the gangster has a potato pun name (it's Spuds Malone... they should have just went and called him O'Riely and had him be an Irish gangster or something), anyway this episode has Gadget chase after Brain who leads him to the real Spuds Malone and it's done in a pretty uninteresting manner. No real jokes or crazy hijinx really.

FINAL THOUGHTS: It's not going to be the worst thing I'll watch for this blog but honestly, I can't really write much more about this episode cuz it's boring, so I'll just reiterate they should have gotten more money for better animation, made some actual jokes (the gun Gadget makes runs on acidic Sour Cream and when it hits Chief Quimby he goes "Needs chives, Gadget" which WAS pretty funny I thought.. but the rest of the episode wasn't) and not had made that stupid fucking Corporal Capeman at all.

The Final Episode #1: Captain Planet (101 Mutations, May 1st 1996)

 

The Final Episode #1: Captain Planet and the Planeteers (101 Mutations - May 11, 1996)

 The Final Episode #1: Captain Planet, 101 Mutations (May 11, 1996)

Captain Planet was created by Ted Turner in 1990... an environmentalist superhero! I must say that as a kid I quite liked this show. I thought the heroes were a bunch of likable scallywags and that the villains were incredibly entertaining! and I'm glad to say that I still do! Being positive rules!

Anyway, Captain Planet ran from September 15, 1990 to May 11, 1996 for a 6 season run... I don't think I was watching during the last season because well, I found out that Captain Planet has TWO theme songs. For the final season they came out with a new theme song and it is incredibly bad. like painfully bad. I don't even know where to begin to describe it so I will link to a youtube video of it here. It will change your life, for the worse.

CAPTAIN PLANET SEASON 6 THEME CLICK AT YOUR OWN PERIL

Hopefully you haven't gouged out your eyes and can read the rest of my writing (you will probably wish you had gouged your eyes out after reading this!) We can finally get into dicussing the Final Episode of Captain Planet intitled 101 Mutations.

If you couldn't tell by that title, 101 Mutations is about Dogs! Puppy mills in fact! That's right the eco-villains (which is what they were called in the show) finally stop trying to destroy the entire planet and just try to make some money via some cruel means. Dr. Blight is the eco villain of today.

Who in the first three seasons was voiced by Meg Ryan! Yep! Ted Turner threw his weight around at the beginning of the show... then he said okay to that terrible theme song (no I will never get over it. Stop asking)

The episode starts up with Dr. Blight talking to MAL about her evil Puppy Mill scheme! MAL in the later seasons was voiced by Tim Curry! always a pleasure to hear that angelic voice of his! I like exclamation points! It then turns over to Wheeler's 10 year old cousin Joey mourning his dog Skippy at a funeral (yes a very jolly point of the episode) and Wheeler decides to bring him to get a new dog. I know that 1.) he means well and 2.) they have to get the episode on the way but who the hell decides yeah I'll go get them a NEW dog RIGHT after the old one dies. Dick move, Wheeler.

Joey then finds out where the Pet Store is getting their dogs from... DR. BLIGHTS EVIL FARM OF DEATH. No it's called Puppy by the MILLions... that's a pretty good name for something as awful as a puppy mill. Anyway he goes there, gets captured, meets a new dog friend (and befriends Dr. Blights evil dogs!) He gives them chocolate. I guess these are dogs that can have chocolate, because he gives them a lot. 

The Planeteers then find a Humane Society guy working under cover in another puppy mill (Jesus a lot of them in this one area) AND they come across Dr. Blights puppy mill and of course stop her plot. (I don't really want to end up discussing EVERY second of these episodes. I do want you all to go and check them out.) 

FINAL THOUGHTS: This was actually a pretty fun episode. Lots of nice back and forths between the charters. The bad guys are incredibly deliciously, I don't give a shit, EVIL, and it was a lot of fun to watch. It didn't end with a big epic 3 parter where all the villains come together and bring back Captain Pollution or anything but I dunno if every show needs that. This was just a regular old run of the mill adventure for the Planeteers. I kinda like how that happens sometimes (mostly because they didn't know this was the final season, probably.) Anyway, I'd check this one out!

Freaky (2020)

  

Woah! Two actual updates in one day (let's be real the Disney post thing isn't an update) I don't think I ever did that but I figure from now on whenever I watch a movie I'll blab my thoughts about it here so this blog will be a directionless mess where I just talk about whatever the hell I want too. Anyway, I had heard about this movie in September I believe from some upcoming horror movies site and I thought it was a grand old idea.

You know Freaky Friday (and Vice Versa, and Like Father Like Son, and 18 Again and Clearly Attempting to Make the Word Count On this Review Higher) is a movie about a body swap but it's a WILD COMEDY OF ERRORS AND ANTICS, well this movie is a body swap movie that's a horror film! Well, with lots of comedy in it (one thing I like about horror is how well it can mesh with other genres) and I have a feeling if the guy who didn't do the Happy Death Day movies this movie probably wouldn't work as well but I probably wouldnt have watched it if he didnt because those Happy Death Day movies were great.

The plot is the Blissville Butcher (played by Vince Vaughn) is out hunting and killing people and steals a dagger from some his victims. This is the powerful macguffin these movies usually have, and he uses it on poor ol' Millie, a nerdy weirdo in High School who's Mother doesn't want her to leave home because her Dad died a year ago. The Blissville Butcher stabs her and BLAMMO we get them both changing bodies, and the race is on to stab The Butcher as Millie before 24 hours are up! 

You get what you want from a horror comedy which is some neat scares and some wild ass murder scenes! and also laughs! Millies gay friend is literally from 1987 but I don't care because he was the greatest character in this film. Everyone in the film does a really terrific job at the acting thing and the pace moves at a good speed which is what you want from a popcorn horror/comedy like this.

I don't think its worth rushing out to see because uh of the whole pandemic thing but dang when it comes to video you should give this a watch. Recommended!

Talkin' About the Disney Afternoon

                                  

So I'm crazy and I feel like doing this among many other things because I waste my entire day on the internet and instead I should waste it watching stuff......It's still a waste but at least something maybe sortof was accomplished... more so than just yelling at twits on the internet. I will never stop being angry at how the internet went from a fun thing to a thing thats terrible, but I will at least try to make fun content instead of being angry at everything. like Twitter users.

This is going to be a multi part thing where I talk about every show on the Disney Afternoon. Including the Wuzzles because I want to cut off the one weirdo who might find this and go "AHEM THE WUZZLES WAS NOT ON THE DISNEY AFTERNOON YOU JUST MADE ME SO ANGRY I SHIT MY PANTS" If I actually finish this we might talk about One Saturday Morning and some newer stuff!!

Here's a list of cartoons I will end up discussing like the cool guy I am:

The Wuzzles

Disney's Adventures of the Gummi Bears

DuckTales

The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers

TaleSpin

Darkwing Duck

Goof Troop

The Little Mermaid

Raw Toonage

Bonkers

Marsupoilami

Aladdin

Gargoyles

The Shnookums and Meat Funny Cartoon Show

Timon and Pumbaa

Quack Pack

Mighty Ducks The Animated Series

So expect the first part of Reviewing Every Disney TV Cartoon Sorta Kinda Maybe to emerge from my head sometime in the next few days.

Some Thoughts on the First Two Dead Rising Games

 

 Well, I actually am doing it! HOLY MOLY! That's right after 5 years I've finally felt like I want to talk about stupid pointless horse shit again. It sure beats using Twitter that's for sure. Anyway expect discussions on just about every thing I enjoy coming right at your face! And hopefully this time I'll keep at it because even if no one ever comments it's still fun and thats something I haven't had on the internet in quite some time, yet I use the internet too much. Weird how that works huh?

Anyway enough pointless horse shit about my feelings on the internet, maybe I'll do a whole article on that later on but I felt that since this mostly started as a video game blog (mostly for old NES games I was playing) I felt I should talk about the games I've been playing... which are the first two  Dead Rising games. I had heard of these over the past 14 years but back then I was only playing NES games and nothing else really because only I would want to beat shitty games like Predator or whatever instead of playing good games.

Dead Rising is a zombie action game which is vastly different than the Resident Evil games (I also finally played parts 2 and 3 thanks to the remakes that came out recently) These games are more about action and comedy then really trying to use zombies to scare the pants off you. Anyway in the first game you play as Frank West trying to figure out what started the whole zombie thing. 

I like a lot of stuff about this game, smashing zombies is satisfying as hell, the game has a weird uniqueness comedy vibe to it, all kinds of weird shit in it. Weird bosses, weird people to save, hell you can even crossdress, and the plot is interesting enough for me to go through it several times trying to get to level 50 and get as many achievements as I can (I don't do achievements very well because I get lazy after beating a game) The only thing I really don't like is that the overtime mode ramps up the difficulty and I think that takes a lot away from the charm of the game. I dunno.

Anyway I have beaten Dead Rising but I'm still working on Dead Rising 2 but I can already say that in my mind it's the better game by far, even if some things I don't like. A lot of Dead Rising is saving people and the survivor A.I. is way better in this game than it was in the first game but that's just my feelings on the matter. Smashing Zombies faces in still feels as good and the bosses are just as silly as before. The only thing I really don't like is that the Zombrex thing just feels tacked on, like you gotta stop whatever your doing to run back to give the little girl her Zombrex. I dunno, I'm just not a fan of it. The game also feels like you get extra time to save people and fight bosses without losing out on the case file stuff.

Anyway I don't know If I'll ever play part 3 because I'm very lazy and I don't want to try to go looking for an X-Box 360 that works so I can play it. I might play part 4 because I do enjoy that rascal Frank West, but it feels both of those games dropped a lot of the comedy parts of the first two which is what brought a lot of fun to them, but I don't know if they end up being bad games just because of that. Uh.. yeah thanks for reading this boring horse shit about some old games and maybe if your good I'll write something interesting or funny.