THE CLONE SAGA PART 1

 

The Spider Man Clone Saga is finally here! I uh, never read the entire thing. Yeah. So let's see what my thoughts are from beginning to end. I will indicate what stories I read before as a kid and whats new. Some of it is pretty bad. Some of it is really bad, but I remember some bright spots too. Fun stories that get lumped in with the entire Saga and are considered bad.

The first story in the Saga, entitled Power and Responsibility is not a very good way to start the whole thing up. First off Judas Traveller feels like he should be a Ghost Rider villain or something. Weird maybe mystical powers. Hell one of his team looks like a guy that Ghost Rider fought, or fought with. I haven't read that comic in many years. The story is also nearing the end of THE SPIDER fiasco. After fighting the Chameleon for making his Robot Parents (with help from the Green Goblin #2) Spider-Man becomes ENRAGED and has to DESTROY the Peter Parker part of him and man this going through several stories is so forced and stupid. Peter Parker would talk to Mary Jane about this shit  and not do this shit. It's a sad attempt to make Spider-Man HARSH AND GRIM AND GRITTY for the 1990s. This THE SPIDER stuff should have been done with before they did even started this story. Buncha crap if you ask me. Not Recommended.

I don't have much to say about this story except that I didn't like it. It finally ends THE SPIDER nonsense thankfully though. He fights Puma and then teams up with Daredevil to fight the Owl and the Vulture and it felt like you could have taken the first two parts out of the story and that's not great. Also they try to make me think the Owl is not a lunatic and feels bad for what he has done and I sure as hell don't believe that. I get trying to get villains to have a shade of grey sometimes, even really bad guys but some people are just dickholes. Daredevil and Spider-Man fight them and Spidey gets infected by a Vulture (not The Vulture) and then they have get the antidote from the Vulture....which OH SHIT TURNS OUT TO BE TAP WATER!!! can we just finally be done with this THE SPIDER shit already? There are some nice moments involving Mary Jane and her family but this still gets the Not Recommended rating.

I actually enjoyed this story. Ben Reilly decides to take on the identity of the Scarlet Spider when he ends up meeting up with Venom and Scream. It was fun seeing how he would deal with villains that aren't familiar to him. It was fun seeing him create a new costume and some new gadgets (stingers and impact webbing). It was overall pretty fun. I think had the Clone Saga been stories like this we'd be singing its praises. It's weird how I have less to say about a story I liked then ones I didn't, but this has what you want in a Spider-Man comic. Nice art. Fun continuation of the story. I definitely give this one a Recommendation.

This will be an ongoing thing, like many of my things, so we will see what the next stories are like!

Spider-Man in the 1990s Part 4!

 

Man, the animation and stuff doesn't hold up very well after 26 years on the 1994 Spider-Man show. Why does Venom have some kind of weird duck lups? and Carnage a wild and freaky looking design is made very dull looking here. I guess I might have to do a re-watch of some episodes to let you guys know if the show is still any good 26 years later or if the Spider-Man cartoon from the 1960s is the reigning champion! Anyway this is me just blathering on about something because I really really really don't want to talk about any of the stories we have to talk about today. Web of Spider-Man was always a tricky title and a lot of its run was just not very good, and these stories fit right in. 

Oh boy it's another time for LOOK AT THIS COOL 90S CHARACTER and how he beats the ass of SOME LAME OLD CHARACTERS BECAUSE HES COOL AND 90S. man that's one of my least favorite tropes, having a new character just pop up in their first appearance or first story and just beat or kill a popular or beloved character. It's lame and I believe writers have stopped doing it. I'm not sure because I can't afford to buy all 424040 comics Marvel or DC put out each month. I doubt even Bill Gates could keep up with every Marvel or DC comic these days, and that's not even mentioning the cool indie stuff you wanna try. Uh oh yeah I got sidetracked. Some lame new bad guy Sandstorm (who I don't think ever showed up again) is created at some lab and then fights Spidey and Quicksand. Spidey stops him after part 2 and frankly I'd have rather read a story where Sandman teams up with Spidey and they have to stop Quicksand. Would have been better than this Sandstorm asshole. D-/Don't Read this shit.

This is a 1 1/2 part story. I say this because the first half of this story was Shocker getting too much power and Spider-Man and Night Thrasher having to save him. I know Night Thrasher is just as ridiculous as the other 90s people I rag on, but I'm going to give him a chance until I read every New Warriors comic. The story is pretty good but nothing earth shattering but still a solid B. I mean you could pick it up for a dollar at most comic shops. It's worth being in the collection at least. Unlike the Lizard story. So Calypso, who apparently is a big time Spider-Man villain because the issue before said a big name villain DIES in this issue and shes the only one who does. Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't she appear in like two stories before this? Her origin and that fucking pile of shit story known as Torment. Yeah, Todd McFarlane or however you spell his name should stick to drawing. Anyway this story does my least favorite trope TWICE so you can tell how much I loved it. The Lizard kills Calypso to show that HES TOUGH AND COOL AND NOT LIKE YOUR DADDYS LIZARD FROM THOSE DUMB OLD COMICS! then Warrant (I wonder if he likes Cherry Pie.... god damn I'm terrible) kills the Lizard OH MAN HE'S SO TOUGH AND COOL AND WILLINGLY TO PLAY BY HIS OWN RULES THAT I NOW LOVE HIM. caps lock is my way of being sarcastic. Fuck Warrant and fuck this story. I'm glad someone came to their senses and brought the Lizard and Calypso back. They deserved better than this shit. F-/Fuck you for writing this

Oh goodie, it's three for three in the LET'S SHOW HOW COOL AND HIP WE ARE. this time the F.A.C.A.D.E. armor kills Lance Bannon. A rival photographer of Peter Parker's. A better character then F.A.C.A.D.E. or any of the people who was supposed to be under the mask. Cole Cooper. Mr. Bryce. and well I'm not even including John Jameson on the list of suspects even though he was one for the simple reason as I doubt Terry Kavanagh would have gotten the okay to actually make him the villain and it really wouldn't make since. Yeah he's hurt people when he's Man-Wolf but he didn't have control of him self in most of those situations. This stupid story ended up killing off Lance Bannon and then didn't even tell us who the fuck F.A.C.A.D.E. was. Fucking hell. This story was balls ass garbage and F.A.C.A.D.E. is another try hard 90s bull shit asshole who can fuck himself. F MINUS MINUS MINUS MINUS MINUS. Fuck you for writing this.

I'm too fucking angry at these dumb stories to even attempt writing an outro. 

Spider-Man in the 1990s Part 3.

 I never had the Spider-Man cereal from the 1990s. I want to try it. I also never had a single Hostess Fruit Pies either. I want to try them. I've never had Rice-A-Roni but I want to try it. They can't just call it the San Francisco Treat if it's no good! This is going very far for a joke that wasn't very good to begin with so let's all put this out of our memory and talk about three more Spider-Man stories from the 1990s.

Spectacular Spider-Man #212 by Mike Lackey and Sal Buscema is not a very good issue. It has some Z-List 90s nobody villain fight Spider-Man. He's got a goofy costume with two Vs on it (He's known as the Master of Vengeance) and I really thought this was a dire issue. He goes on and on about how Spider-Man created him and how he's his father and how he hates him because he drove his family away even though it was his fault not Spider-Mans. There's a reason this guy appeared in 3 stories and hasn't been seen since 1995. He's just one of many 90s losers that have no real charm in appearance or character. Forget about this one unless you love 90s stuff, Maybe you'll get something out of it. I didn't. D-/Not Recommended

I love it when heroes fight other heroes villains. It always a fun time to see it get mixed up. Spectacular Spider Man #213 and #214 Spider Man ends up fighting Typhoid Mary, a gal that usually fights  Daredevil. Typhoid Mary is killing abusers of women and Spider-Man has to stop her because he's not a big fan of the murder thing. There's nothing ground breaking about these two issues but it's a fun story and I can't really say more than I enjoyed it. B+

It's kinda sad that a enjoyable story with some neat drama and all that is put into two pretty bad stories. This story is a bit better than The Master of Fuck-All story.  This story has The Scorpion team up with some old fat guy to rob the old fat guys stores because the old fat guy thinks his son is going to take everything from him. Spider-Man fights some guys and then ends up hitting the old guy and everyone is shocked. Then he finds Mac Gargan outside of his Scorpion suit and literally beats him up. That just didn't feel like Spider-Man to me. It was like they were trying for the Pursuit storyline again with him being really angry but man it didn't work here. Also a weird garbage sewage sludge monster makes Spider-Man calm again. No I didn't make that up. Look here it is.

I don't know where this weird garbage sewage sludge monster came from but uhh. I hope it was explained in some other Marvel Comic and just didnt pop out of nowhere.. I will say that I enjoyed the Sal Buscema art and the scenes where the Scorpion gets to be Mac Gargan again but other than that yikes. Tom Defalco, Mike Lackey and Sal Buscema did this story and it's bit of a mess. D-

Next time we jump on over to Web of Spider-Man to try to talk about the stories that happened in that book before the Clone showed up! Golly gee I can't wait!

Spider Man in the 1990s....Part 2!

 

I enjoyed talking about those Spider-Man stories so I decided to read some more. Uh, I don't know what else to say for an opening so let's just get to it.

Tombstone is a great Spider-Man villain, he's tough, he's ruthless, he has a history with a long time supporting character (he and Joe Robertson were "friends" back in the day) I must have read that story with him and Joe Robertson ending up in prison like 5,000 times as a kid. I'm surprised I still have those issues and they aren't whipped to shit. I liked them enough to take care of them. That was a good era for Spectacular Spider-Man/Web of Spider-Man, and Tombstone has been on the run since that story with Robbie, I'm pretty sure this is his first appearance since then but we will see. This story stats with Tombstone just walking into Hammerhead's place and beating his ass. I usually don't like the "new (er) bad guy beats up a older bad guy to show he he's cool but that first story already gave Tombstone enough personality that watching him beat Hammerhead is pretty amazing actually, even if I do love Hammerhead too. I love the goofy Mob guys Spidey fights. So The Council of all the crime bosses are fine with Tombstone taking over Hammerheads spot EXCEPT one. A guy named Kaska who tells Tombstone off. Tombstone doesn't like this so he decides to fucking rob the guy to show him up. Anyway shit goes down and Tombstone ends up wrecking Flash Thompsons shit which brings Spider-Man AND the Black Cat (she was dating Thompson) to him. So Kaska says if Tombstone can kill Spider-Man he can join the Council, so the fight is on! I thought the end of this story was actually pretty amusing so I won't ruin it. Spectacular Spider-Man #204-206 by Steven Grant and Sal Buscema are worth adding to your collection. Recommended Rating: B+

I must admit that I love the horror heroes of the 1970s. The Living Mummy. Ghost Rider. Werewolf by Night, and yes The Shroud is on that list. The Shroud is doing some undercover work and Spider-Man is looking around New York when he sees that Dr. Strange's mansion has exploded (One thing I gotta give New Marvel People some gruff over is that they don't do this stuff well enough anymore. It always seems everyone is everyones book. Like in some recent Spider-Man books he's teaming up with every Spider-Man type character and it's a bit much. I kinda miss when team ups in a main book were a special thing. I guess) Shroud and Spider-Man fight and then some crazy ass masks escape from the wrecked mansion and take over the three goons that the Shroud had beaten up. They get sucked into the Darkness dimension (is that the same Dimension Cloak of Cloak and Dagger is connected too?) and when they come out they are fucking Skeletons proving the Masks just use the guys until they die... and one just got on SPIDER-MAN!!! OH SHIT! Of course the Mask of Martookiga (I don't know the official name but a Dr. Strange thing needs a goofy yet fun name like that) only feeds on fear and Spider-Man thinks about the people he loves and the Mask just turns inert. The Shroud and Spider-Man end up kicking the Mask of Martookiga's asses. Another fun story about Steven Grant and Sal Buscema, Spectacular Spider-Man #207 and #208 are worthy additions to a collection. Recommended. B+

We were on a streak of two pretty good stories but that had to end some time. This Foreigner story I believe has been a part of some ongoing stuff in the Web of Spider-Man title because I remember the three guys the Foreigner fights in the first half of the first part being in a story involving him. No, I didn't care enough about this story to go back and read that one. Someone has ousted the Foreigner from his organization and I don't know if we ever find out who and I can't say that I care, and I might be the only person in the world who likes the Foreigner. The Master as he's called sends out several no named 90's losers to try to fight and kill Spider-Man and The Foreigner. Dead Aim is his name and looking goofy (like most 90s try too hard villains) is his name. I just can't believe someone whos been shown to be smart and calculating like the Foreigner would get his organization taken away from him by someone stupid enough to hire guys like Dead Aim, Warzone and some other stupid 90s name I don't remember and I read the damn issue last night. A forgettable waste of talent. Sorry it's not going ot be 3 for 3 this time. D-/Not Recommended.

So there you have it. 3 more Spider-Man stories. Come back later for 3 more stories. One of them is good, I promise!

Spider Man in the 1990s... Part 1.

 

Spider-Man is my favorite superhero. He's been my favorite since I got his comics in my Christmas stocking in 1993. I loved him and quickly had to find as much as I could about him and his adventures. I read as many Spider-Man comics as I could. I loved his sense of responsibility and his silly jokes. I loved the bad guys he fought. They were all cool as hell. As a kid I was ride or die with Spidey. I've always wanted to read every Spider-Man comic from 1962 to the present day. I've read a great deal of them but not everything. This is why this post is here, It's for me to discuss the stuff I'm reading now. Which is 90s stuff so expect The Clone Saga stuff to show up here.

Well It's time to discuss Maximum Carnage. I always thought Venom was cool but Carnage was a bit too much, I mean his first story was pretty good and I can't help but love the story where he takes over the Silver Surfer, but Carnage hasn't had many good stories and this is one of those many pissy stories involving Carnage. This story is just fight....hero or villain joins up....fight....hero or villain joins up....fight....people in new york start going crazy....fight....fucking NIGHTWATCH, the Spawn ripoff shows up (seriously I'm surprised McFarlane never sued them... even if Spawn himself sucked ass) this story feels like it goes nowhere and then Deathlok and Iron Fist's company literally creates a beam and he Care Bear stares the bad guys. This whole story felt like a chore for the writers and feels like a chore to read. And it was all you had to read for like 2 months? 3? I don't know. The art is pretty good I must admit, I really like the cover up there. Carnage had a pretty funny joke about the Wonder Years when trying to dig up his mother. I liked the scenes at Harry Osborns funeral and the scenes with Peter's dad...(we will get to them later). Otherwise this was a pretty dreadful and not entertaining little story. Go with Absoulte Carnage from a few years ago if you want a big carnage event that's way more fun to read then this piss shit. Not Recommended. D+

This story, Trial by Jury is much better. Okay, so Venom killed a guy named Hugh alllllllll the way back in Amazing Spider-Man #315, one of his earliest appearances too! Now Hugh's father and friends have become The Jury and they are after Spider-Man for bringing the Alien Symboite to earth in the first place. This is a pretty good 3 parter that doesn't rush itself out. The first part is Spider-Man fighting them and then getting caught. Then in part 2 it's an actual trial of sorts! Then in part 3 Spidey actually teams up with the guys and they try to get a weapon that will blow up Venom... Spider-Man realizes thats murder and he's against that even with a monster like Venom, so he fights the Jury and kicks their asses. They also have some sub plot stuff like with MJ and her smoking (she ends up giving it up after seeing Nick Katzenburg dying of lung cancer in the hospital) and the really stupid subplot of Peter's real mom and dad coming back. The art by Mark Bagley was really great too. Nothing that will top the best Spider-Man stories ever list but gets a solid B from me. Recommended. B

It's time for a controversial in your face comic opinion, and we all know how well comic book fans take controversial opinions... badly. Don't step out of line in the comic community or you will get....angry twitter messages... OK, since no one actually reads this crap (or at least comments on it) My controversial opinion is........I like the Peter Parker Parents storyline from Spider-Man. I'm not too keen on the ending really but I liked them being in the comics, I liked the mystery, I liked them having  different thoughts and feelings from Ben and May Parker. I thought it would have been neat to have them survive this and keep going on. I believe they first appeared somewhere in issue 360? I could be wrong and I'm too lazy to check but I dunno, I liked them. This story where they finally are revealed as robots is kinda dumb. As I said earlier I wish it was some kind of weird blackmail plot or something else and they could have been  saved to be in other stories. I guess my feeling is it's a decent enough story with a lukewarm ending? Yeah let's go with that.  Lifetheft starts out with the Vulture, one of my favorite Spider-Man bad guys escaping from prison. I always loved that guy and I love how Mark Bagley draws him. He comes across the JUVINATOR and takes Spider-Man's youth away from him. He gets it back because the JUVEINATOR works better on Artificial Life, you know. Like Robots that Peter Parker's parents apparently are, and he finds that out AFTER he tells them who he is. Spidey ya dope you should have listened to Aunt May. He finds the Chameleon's lair (yeah he's in on it too!) and he fights his dad robot until it's destroyed and the Vulture takes his mom's robot's life. Yeah, it's a bit silly even for a comic book. Hell it's a bit silly for a guy who loves silly comic books. Maybe I just wish the characters have kept going on and not been robots who died. Still the first two parts are actually fun and I enjoyed them, so I guess I'm going to give Lifetheft a Sorta-Recommend. C+

It's now for the epilogue to the Peter Parker's parents story. Spider-Man is trying to find the Chameleon for his part within the story, and he's fucking pissed! Spider Man is not playing around this time. He's going to find the Chameleon and he's going to shove his foot right up his ass. The Chameleon is trying to bide his time and keep Spider-Man away from him (like sending goons after him, running from hideout to hideout until he ends up as Kraven's house seeing as they had a relationship before Kraven died) but Spider-Man catches up to him and woahie, It's a bad day for the Chameleon who gets the shit beat out of and webbed up for the police. The only real problem with this story is that at the end it turns out that the Green Goblin (Harry Osborn) was behind the whole thing and there was a file "SPIDER-MAN FOR YOUR EYES ONLY" and I don't see how the Chameleon wouldn't have watched that video, but despite that I had fun reading this one. I'd Recommend it. B

Well, I talked about four stories, so I guess it's time to end it up now. I think we will try to talk about some of the stories that happen right before the CLONE SAGA pops up!

What If Wednesday #3: Kurt Busiek let me down man

 

Welcome one and all to the best Wednesday thing on a blog ever! What if Wednesday #3! I am going to be so hard pressed to talk about stuff in the first paragraph of each and every one of these! Anyway up there is an image of the Watcher's first appearance from Fantastic Four #13 all the way back in like 1963 or something. I feel a What If post should probably start off with some kind of picture of the Watcher man. I don't know when I will use my favorite picture of him but we will get to it! Anyway we got more What If's from Volume 2 to talk about!

Holy moly ass shit! Now this is a comic book (by Doug Murray of the 'Nam fame and Rik Levins) that grabs your ass and doesn't let go until the last 3 pages which are just weird joke what ifs that I guess they just decided to shove in there for some reason or another. We will get to the wacky issues of What If someday and boy howdy they are something! Anyway this time the mob DOES NOT kill The Punisher's family AND he becomes a police officer. An honest cop trying to do the best he can, you know like Frank Serpico. He finds out about corruption, judges, his partner and even his Captain are in on it (they are all pretty much working for the Kingpin in the end) it doesn't end well for his family. And then it doesn't end well for the corrupt cops and judges this go around because THEY are who he's after this time. So keep your nose clean or Frank Castle will shoot it off. I'm amazed that 30 years ago we were still talking about issues we are talking about now. And they still haven't been resolved. And the fact people are complaining NOW that comic books have discussed social and political issues. Anyway, this comic comes Highly Recommended! 

What If #22 by Ron Marz and Ron Lim (double Ron action for ya!) is pretty good too. I think I like it because it has a mostly positive ending really. OK so in the mainline Marvel Universe comics published between 1966 and 1987 that had the Silver Surfer in it had him confined to earth (I believe that Silver Surfer #1 from 1987 by Steve Englehart and one of the best Batman artists EVER!, Marshall Rogers was the first time he finally passed the barrier put on him by Galactus. You can easily correct me if I'm wrong becuase I 1.) haven't read every damn comic ever made and 2.) can't remember every single detail about them) but in 1987 he finally found his way off planet and had wild cosmic adventures. THIS what if keeps him confined to earth and accepts membership into THE FANTASTIC FIVE! and they start whuppin ass like its going outta style. In a two page spread they beat the piss outta Dr. Doom, Annihilus, The Frightful Four and fucking Terminus, the huge ass motherfucker space robot guy. Then after that they get a call from a priest worrying about shit and after the priest is possessed BLAM they get sent to fucking HELL and have to fight Mephisto, one of the stand ins in Marvel Comics for you know, Satan (my favorite is Satannish because he's not Satan he's just kinda Satannish.. its wild). Mephisto tells the Surfer he has to stay in Hades forever unless he wants the rest of the Fantastic Five to be tortured by him. The Surfer agrees but refuses to sign his agreement because "The Surfers Word is his Bond" and Mephisto just burns the shit outta the Human Torch. Long story short the Surfer ends up taking over Hades and making Mephisto his prisoner and all Evil disappeares. Wild stuff. Recommended.

I had a hell of a time trying to get those two images to stick there. One would always get deleted. Uh, yeah I think we finally got to the first What If that I really did not like which is weird because it's by Kurt Busiek who usually does very good work. I wasn't exactly thrilled with What If #69 but I'm sure someone would dig it, this I don't think it works very good. Anyway, this two parter starts off with a bang with Scott Summers, Jean Grey and Professor Xavier being blown the fuck up... by Cable. Then it goes back to them all talking by Professor X (who had returned early from space in this timeline) and he tells Cable he's no longer leader of the New Mutants which causes him to throw a tantrum and start a fight and the New Mutants go with him. Oh and THEN they go back to the start of the story where they are at a funeral now and the X-Men break into two factions, one who wants to kill Cable and one who wants to bring him in. It's not even like they both go after him, just the murder crazy faction (led by Wolverine) but the Storm faction is now being taken down by supervillains all teaming up and the X-Men don't bother trying to get help from any other superheroes or anything nah, that's foolish talk. So with several X-Men dead it becomes a time for Magneto to take over the USA and then the Sentinels are sent out and if you don't see that this is going to the Days of Future Past future than you are being silly. It ends with Wolverine pulling some Mutants out of the camps (and people think X-Men isn't an allegory for civil rights from everyone to Jewish people to black people to gays and on) because he got some fail safe thing that made it so that Sebastian Shaw (who made these metal-less Sentinels so it wouldn't be able to tell hes a mutant) saying the X-Men are back. 

Boy fucking howdy I did not like this story. Everything about it feels forced, from Cable not stepping down to the New Mutants not leaving Cable after he killed Xavier and Scott and Jean (I mean you can be against the X-Men for trying to execute Cable without a fair trial and all but JESUS these people were your mentors for crying out loud! Didn't feel like that was something they would be for), then Storms side not trying to get some help from anyone or anything. THEN Dazzler and Sunspot and Strong Guy just being like "ok sure i'll now join you Magneto and these people who killed my friends and not the pro mutant people like the Fantastic Four". I know for some of these you'll go "DURR IT'S AN ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE SILLY" and I'll respond "Yeah but it just splits off at this second, these characters should still act like they did in 616 unless giving really good reasoning and it wasnt here" it just felt like Kurt had a idea to make this end up in the Days of Future Past like Future and just wanted to shove it all in there. The bring side this comic does have Siryn in it, Banshee's daughter and lady redheads very sexy. Oh and the art was pretty decent and those covers are pretty cool. I'll probably end up owning these but if you aren't the kind of person who needs to own every issue in a series I'd say these comics come really Not Recommended at all.

Anyway, what comics will happen next Wednesday!  WAIT AND SEE!

Weird Comic Book Stuff #1

 

It's time for YET another comics article. Yes, I like these because I like comic books and they are easy and fun to talk about. This will be a series of articles about weird shit within comic books, weird villains, heroes, stories, writers, artists. Just the stuff that makes you go "what the jumping jesus hell were they thinking?" so expect a LOT of stories from Bob Haney and Bob Kanigher to show up here because they practically made a career at doing weird shit.

I pretty much made this article so I could show you the greatest goofy ass bad guy who ever existed in comic books. I will probably say that a LOT but fuck it, Tapping Tommy is amazing. He's a tap dancer 
(with killer tap dancing robots of course) who fought The Defenders (Defenders #30 I believe) and somehow got the better of them for a short time. The Defenders at that time had Dr. Strange, Valkyrie, Nighthawk, and a little guy named The Incredible Fucking Hulk, so it's already pretty hilarious how he wasnt beaten to tar in like one panel. Sadly, Tapping Tommy has not been seen in the last 45 years but if I ever somehow get a job at Marvel Comics you'll get your day Tommy!!!

This guy is also amazing. He's got the last name Weele, which kinda sounds like Wheel so of course in COMIC BOOK FASHION he decides to create a giant wheel to destroy the Rocket Racer and Spider-Man. I just had to include him in this one becuase I get the feeling Marv Wolfman who wrote the story just came up with his alter ego's name Jackson Weele first and just HAD to create something for him. Ridiculous and silly but oh so much fun. He even got more than one appearance and apparently his last appearance was in 2016. Wild. Sadly it was in a Deadpool book so I will never get to read it because Deadpool gives me the shits.

The last fellow we are going to talk about today is the Hypno Hustler and if you guessed he appeared in a comic book published during the 1970s give your self a Captain Fucking Obvious award because there's no other decade something this insane could come from. He's pretty much disco Ringmaster from Ringmaster and his Circus of Crime (don't worry I will talk about them) where as he uses his guitar to hypnotize people and would it surprise you if I told you Bill Mantlo also created Tapping Tommy?? Oddly enough, he actually made it out of the 1970s and had more appearances. YET MY POOR TOMMY GETS NOTHING.

I may have poked some fun at these guys but all of their origin stories were fun comics that I would recommend, Defenders  #30, Amazing Spider Man #182-183, and Spectacular Spider Man #28. All from the 1970s, a very fun and weird decade for comic books. Anyway, I'll catch you later moon doggies!!

Weekly Comic Discussion #2

 

That's right true believers! It's time for more discussion on some comics I bought! (these were actually published last week but I forgot to pick them up...) I still plan to review X of Swords but since that's gonna be done next week I'll save my thoughts to make a whole review on that by itself so let's see what's up with the comics I picked up this week.

Black Widow #3: Kelly Thompson is one of the best creative people at Marvel Comics right now and deserves more people taking a look at her work. And I want to kiss the beautiful art by Elena Casagrande and Jordie Bellaire (he did the cover and she does the interiors) The story so far is that Black Widow coming back to her apartment from spy stuff is abushed and it goes ahead three months, where she is now has a son and a fiancé and you know some big shit is up. This issue goes to show that one of the bad guys (Weeping Lion.... I don't know who that is) is now getting ready to send in some goons to kill Black Widow and all of the villains just want to leave her in the happy place where she is because they know she'd fuck their shit up if they fail at killing her or her new family. The art in this is fantastic. Just a CHEF'S KISS. The cool fight scenes and everything. I don't think I've seen Elena Casagrande's art before but give her all the comics. All of them.  This issue comes Recommended!

U.S.Agent #1: This one is done by long time writer Christopher Priest who has been working for Marvel Comics since he was a teenager in the late 1970s. He did work for Marvel, DC, and Valiant and I believe even is a preacher! What a life! This is a very fun little story involving the John Walker USAgent, I'm sure people are angry because I think John Walker was without an arm or a leg the last time people saw him but continuity is silly by my book. All comic stories are canon even the ones that contradict the other ones, and I think that was said by Grant Morrison so yeah. The most important thing is that this comic is fun and I do want to see where it goes. I enjoyed the interplay between the asian dude and USAgent, and I want to see how the story ends and I figure that's a good thing. We will see how this plays out hombres! This issue comes Recommended!

                                                              

Marvel Indigenous Voices #1:  I'm for peoples of all types and kinds getting to work at Marvel Comics. I don't like the creepy Comicsgate assholes that appear all over the twitter. I just can't come out and say something is perfect and amazing just because someone who wasn't white did it. I did actually pick up this issue and give it a fair shake unlike anyone in that terrible twitter hashtag movement Comicsgate who will yell at everything because their youtube daddies tell them too. And I'm not going to completely trash this comic either. First off the art by Jeffrey Veregge from the covers to the first two pages is awesome. I love that style and think he made The Watcher look cool as hell. I enjoyed the two page spread and everything. I even want to buy the other variant covers and that only happens when its Skottie Young or that Arthur Germ fellow. The rest of the art feels like it needs a bit more improvement. Twitter was laughing at a piece in the first story of Captain Marvel and yeah it's not good, BUT I did think several pieces within that story actually were pretty good. The first story I also felt probably needed more room to breathe. The second story was pretty good, it's got Dani Moonstar (one of my favorite mutants) and Wolfsbane (another one of my favorite mutants, what can I say I love the New Mutants!) and they have come looking for a mutant who can't control his powers yet and hurt the son of a sheriff. I also loved the ending with Wolfsbane being so happy over the teddy bear. Great stuff. The last story was honestly so forgettable that even after reading it not that long ago I can't remember anything about it except it had Silver Fox in it. I still Recommend this comic if only for the beautiful art but it is defiantly a mixed bag. Still I do see possibilities for these people to grow within the Marvel Universe and all that jazz. I certainly believe my first story for Marvel would be worse if I were given the chance but then again I'm the only person who wants to see a Tapping Tommy/Hypno Hustler team up.

And that's about it for the comics that aren't X-Men that I picked up this week. I might pick up some DC or some indie stuff next week because I don't want this to be come a Marvel heavy blog. 

What If Wednesday #2

 

Hello ladies, gentlemen and people of ambiguous gender identity! Hello and welcome to What If Wednesday! A series that takes place each Wednesday where I discuss three issues of Marvel's what if comic book! I know I said last week that we were going to alternate but I just felt like reading more of series two, because I've read most of series one and very little of series two and it is my blog and I can do whatever dumb shit I want with it so there!

Holy hot damn! Now this is a comic book story! Written by George Caragonne (a man I had never heard of until today just to realize he died in 1995...) with art by Ron Wilson! Seriously just look at the cover to part one of this story Fuckin Adolf Hitler's corpse just rotting away like the fucking useless trash it was. If that doesn't get you to pick up a comic book then I really and truly don't know what would. The story is what if the guy who created the super soldier serum DIDNT die and was saved by Captain America at the last second and holy shit this story ends up getting DARK. I mean they kill Hitler and the Red Skull (THATS WHAT THEY THINK HOHOHO) and fucking Captain America, Steven Rogers ends up being the only survivor of a U-boat attack and becomes president......and then starts treating everyone who isn't a white man like shit and you then realize it's that fucking nazi piece of shit The Red Skull who is in a cloned body of Captain America... HIS super soldiers end up killing The Fantastic Four, The Hulk, Ant-Man, Spider-Man and the fucking X-Men before they even get to become heroes. So it's up to the REAL Captain America and HIS Avengers to beat the everloving shit out of the Red Skull and his super soldiers and save America, which they do but damn this is still one dark What-If and I'm glad that I live in the real world where America didn't go down any fascist path....oh wait. Highly Recommended. Get these issues.

One of the things I like the most about What If comics it that you never really know what you are going to get. Sometimes like with #28 and #29 you get some crazy story that takes in all of the Marvel universe and is a big bruhaha. And sometimes you just get a smaller scale story with What If #98, written in the last year of the titles publication, comes a story that revolves around a few mutants. Rouge, Destiny, Nightcrawler and Mystique. In this story they pretty much have Nightcrawler be Mystique's son (the original idea by Chris Claremont was that Mystique turned into a dude and had lovings with Destiny and they birthed Nightcrawler but I do believe shes his mom in the real universe too, there's so much between like 1992 and 2017 that I don't know about marvel comics) This story has Nightcrawler living with her in the attic when she takes Rogue in, she's training with the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants (I love how they call themselves stuff like that because no one really thinks what they are doing is evil even if it is evil!) Rogue and Nightcrawler become friends and I think I'll leave everything else a secret becuase I liked how they played it out. Art I really liked (mostly, Blob looked silly) by Leonardo Manco and a nice little story by Bill Rosemann. Recommended.

                                                 

Alright here we go talking about the literally only What If issue I owned as a kid and the only one that goes for more than $3 at any good comic store, well of the second series at least. Don't pay 3 bucks for any of them even the best ones because they aren't hard to find. Anyway What If #105 is the first appearance of the Mayday Parker, Spider-Girl, who's appearance in this issue was so damn popular she got TWO series and like at least 120 issues. I enjoyed what I read of her actual series. This diverges from the original universe by having the baby Peter and MJ were having during the terrible overlong never ending clone saga. The Neverending Story has nothing on the Spider Man Clone Saga from the 1990s. but this was 1997 and that was FINALLY coming to an end. Anyway enough bitching about that story and let's see how good Tom DeFalco and Ron Frenz's story holds up! And this definetly reads like an origin story, like they were already planning to make a Spider-Girl series and thought this was a good place to put the origin in to see if people wanted it and they did! This shows off the new Fantastic Five and A2 which weren't as popular as Spider-Girl... it sets up that Mayday is a basketball player AND into science, so she's being torn between two different high school worlds, so you can have all kindsa drama with that but not feel like you're rehashing the Stan Lee/Steve Ditko High school days of the original Spider-Man. The art is, I have to say, not Ron Frenz's best, the man did much better art, even during this era, Not to totally say the art completely sucks but theres some wonky shit within this one. It's still Recommended tho.

I think we will just keep going with Volume 2 because I have to read at LEAST 90% of it and I want to see how and when I will hit one that really makes me yell and scream because I just can't keep Recommending them, the people want blood!!!

 

Weekly Comic Discussion #1

 

That image isn't from a comic released this week but I don't think any of the comics I picked up this week were released this week, so it kinda works. Now welcome one and all to a thread where I discuss the comics or at least some of them that I picked up this week. I live on an island in Canada so sometimes comics distribution is all over the dang place. and by sometimes I mean all the damn time. So let's just discuss some stuff thats on the new comics racks... even if some of it might be old by now!

If I had to pick a favorite newer writer man of these stories involving space raccoons and trees then that man would be Al Ewing. The man clearly is having a lot of fun writing these stories and it comes through in the stories. This story is a murder mystery that involves fallout from the last marvel event, Empyre (And let me rant about Marvel events here... can you at least have the event have some fallout and stories dealing with it... if these are supposed to CHANGE EVERYTHING FOREVER you can't jjust go whoops lol lets forget about it after SUPER FARTS DESTROY THE UNIVERSE #6 written by David Warmington comes out so I actually approve of the story continuing in its own way. I don't approve of events taking 3 issues or more out of the stories I want to read and also taking like 5493589 parts to read, even if there have been events I've enjoyed in the past. You gotta fix this shit Marvel or I'll rip out whats left of my hair and send it to you. I PROMISE THIS) where the Kree and the Skrull became one thanks to the Kree/Skrull Young Avenger known as Teddy. They also fought those weirdo tree people from those bonkers ass Avengers comics from the 1970s. anyway the two empires emerged into one like when Teddy merges into Wiccan's butthole. lol i'm 12.Anyway this issue ends with setting up ANOTHER EVENT and I'll at least buy the issues that Guardians tie into because not having a single issue breaks my brain. I'd recommend buying the trade of this, all 8 issues have been really dingle darn good.

Well this is a part of the storyline Outlawed (or as I like to call it Civil War III: The Search for Ms. Marvel), which was clearly going to be somewhat of a mini event until Covid-19 happened and they had to not put out as many comic books as they do. Now it's just a normal sized storyline. Also The New Warriors comic that everyone in that stupid hashtag movement on Twitter Comicsgate shit their pants about, which makes me always want to read something because those idividuals are rock stupid. I really enjoy most of the new diverse legacy teen characters and thought this sounded fine, even if it really is just Teen Civil War but with less Mark Millar which is always a good thing (the only reason the Kick Ass and Kingsman movies were any good is that Matthew Vaughn cut out most of the stupid horseshit that Mark Millar loves) Anyway this story happens after Viv Vision explodes in Ms Marvel's school and they start a law called Kamala's law and that means you have to be 21 before you can be a superhero so you know the teen heroes aren't lie down and the set up in Champions #1 and #2 was very interesting and I think I'm gonna be seeing how this story ends.

I'm sure I will find some comic to read that I will end up yelling about, maybe I will buy Three Jokers written by a Geoff Johns who clearly doesn't care about writing comic books anymore because man the second I saw that I thought "wow that's a fucking stupid idea for a comic" but it will probably be on another slow week like this one. Also I will get the latest X-Men X Of Swords thing because Jonathan Hickman and Friends X-Men relaunch has been pretty great lately, but that will have an entire post related to it. Anyway, we will see what happens next week!

What If Wednesday #1

 That's right mother fuckers! We are going to talk about the greatest comics ever published right here, mother fucking WHAT IF? I love alternative takes on characters and stories which you can do in comics! What If was the best thing that Roy "The Boy" Thomas (do you think he hated that Stan gave him that nick name, seeing as he was like 25 at the time?) ever did for comics. Created by him in 1977 and still gets brought out every little time Marvel feels like it, however most of the comics we will be discussing are from the 1977 to 1984 series and the 1989 to 1998 series. The first had 47 issues and the second had 114 issues, so we will hopefully be doing this for many Wednesdays to come!

This weeks first comic is What If, Volume 2, #1 and boy howdy is this a hum dinger of a comic book. Written by Roy Thomas with art by Ron Wilson you get a lot of stuff for your $1.25 (I wish comics still cost that much) The original story The Evolutionary War was a story that took place in the previous years annuals and if I recall correctly was a pretty enjoyable affair... it's about The High Evolutionary (who does sadly not get as ripped as FlowingMindspin) creating a genetic bomb to well cause man and mutant to evolve without their consent. And the Avengers have to stop him because who knows WHAT people could evolve into! This story tells us... they evolve into big headed freaky looking motherfuckers who are a hive mind, no more care for good or bad... but powerful enough to make a fucking Celestial (you know those giant robot God things created by Jack Kirby that Marvel will now make into a movie that I'll watch once and go yeah that was fun but will read the Eternals by Jack Kirby 1,000 times because the comics are better than the superhero movies. Just letting you know that) but what about the mutants. They also become a hive mind and decide to leave earth and fuck the shit out of the universe (no joke, they beat the shit out of the Kree, the Skrulls AND the Shi'ar (you know the bird woman that Professor X bones from time to time is one of them before going on to fuck up Galactus, Death and Eternity before becoming a wild mix of both Death and Life AND CREATING A NEW UNIVERSE.)  Roy Thomas literally packed the entire Marvel Universe into this story and its a whole hell of a lot of fun to read. Highly Recommended.

The Armor Wars was a story that took place in Iron Man's book (except for one issue of Captain America which tells Captain America's side of the fight they had) and was one of the best Iron Man stories probably ever! And this What If is a neat side piece that should be included in any trade that has the full story within it (and the story was originally called Stark Wars which is not as good) Anyway the original Armor Wars story involved Tony Stark finding out that technology he created was being used by Justin Hammer so he decides to make sure that no one cause use that technology by beating up every body who might have the technology, regardless if they are good or bad. It's got a lot of fights, internal pathos and great art! This what if issue is not perfect but I think it's a good companion piece to the original story. The what if differs is that Justin Hammer finds out that Second Ant Man was sent by Tony to help him uncover what was going on and his daughter Cassie gets kidnapped and he has to rat on Tony. Justin Hammer then again takes control of Tony's armor and causes him to help blow up S.H.I.E.L.D. bases and both East and West Coast Avengers bases and makes Tony unmask in front of everyone and confess making it harder for Tony to walk back. Then if that wasn't enough A.I.M. literally shoots Justin Hammer in the back and steals ALL the information he had! So Tony has to end up teaming up with a group of armored bad guys to fight A.I.M. and in the end has to fight for his time in court. The interactions between Tony and the other characters are fun but I'd still believe that if Tony told any of the Avengers he was being controlled they would believe and help him. And the art is pretty good but I don't like how now Superstar Artist of Batman, Greg Capullo draws Justin Hammer. Despite these issues I'd still say What If #8 comes Recommended!

I've got to admit some probably controversial opinion right here and now and say that I think the majority of the 1990s X-Men stuff is very unmemorable. I didn't even read them as a kid all that much because I was picking up much better back issues from the 1980s. I find the 1990s era of X-Men very dull and I know a lot of people think highly of this era but it leaves me very cold. I couldn't even tell you about the story of X-Cutioner's Song except it involves Strfye and Cable way before they were put in better stories and actually made enjoyable characters. I'm sure someone is complaining about how they make Cable a kid in new issues of X-Men but I actually enjoy that series by Gerry Duggan which is a whole part of the X-Men relaunch of sorts by Jonathan "Big Jon" Hickman. Anyway this time the X-Men die and then Cable fights Stryfe and takes over for X-Factor  and X-Force who become the new X-Men. There's not much too this story written by Fabian Nizicia's brother and while I'm not a fan of 90s X-Men, I did enjoy his Thunderbolts but I don't think comics worked out for his brother. The art is very of that era and if you dig it you dig it. I'm kinda hot and cold on the art from this era. I will probably end up adding this to my collection as not owning every issue of something gives me hives but I don't think I can give it a recommendation. Not Recommended. Oh, and like everyone else on the internet I'm obliged to go "oh nice, the sex number!"

That's it, next time we will alternate and go for a full discussion of issues from the original volume. What three will be picked! Who knows! That's why you gotta come back next week!