Man, the animation and stuff doesn't hold up very well after 26 years on the 1994 Spider-Man show. Why does Venom have some kind of weird duck lups? and Carnage a wild and freaky looking design is made very dull looking here. I guess I might have to do a re-watch of some episodes to let you guys know if the show is still any good 26 years later or if the Spider-Man cartoon from the 1960s is the reigning champion! Anyway this is me just blathering on about something because I really really really don't want to talk about any of the stories we have to talk about today. Web of Spider-Man was always a tricky title and a lot of its run was just not very good, and these stories fit right in.
Oh boy it's another time for LOOK AT THIS COOL 90S CHARACTER and how he beats the ass of SOME LAME OLD CHARACTERS BECAUSE HES COOL AND 90S. man that's one of my least favorite tropes, having a new character just pop up in their first appearance or first story and just beat or kill a popular or beloved character. It's lame and I believe writers have stopped doing it. I'm not sure because I can't afford to buy all 424040 comics Marvel or DC put out each month. I doubt even Bill Gates could keep up with every Marvel or DC comic these days, and that's not even mentioning the cool indie stuff you wanna try. Uh oh yeah I got sidetracked. Some lame new bad guy Sandstorm (who I don't think ever showed up again) is created at some lab and then fights Spidey and Quicksand. Spidey stops him after part 2 and frankly I'd have rather read a story where Sandman teams up with Spidey and they have to stop Quicksand. Would have been better than this Sandstorm asshole. D-/Don't Read this shit.
This is a 1 1/2 part story. I say this because the first half of this story was Shocker getting too much power and Spider-Man and Night Thrasher having to save him. I know Night Thrasher is just as ridiculous as the other 90s people I rag on, but I'm going to give him a chance until I read every New Warriors comic. The story is pretty good but nothing earth shattering but still a solid B. I mean you could pick it up for a dollar at most comic shops. It's worth being in the collection at least. Unlike the Lizard story. So Calypso, who apparently is a big time Spider-Man villain because the issue before said a big name villain DIES in this issue and shes the only one who does. Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't she appear in like two stories before this? Her origin and that fucking pile of shit story known as Torment. Yeah, Todd McFarlane or however you spell his name should stick to drawing. Anyway this story does my least favorite trope TWICE so you can tell how much I loved it. The Lizard kills Calypso to show that HES TOUGH AND COOL AND NOT LIKE YOUR DADDYS LIZARD FROM THOSE DUMB OLD COMICS! then Warrant (I wonder if he likes Cherry Pie.... god damn I'm terrible) kills the Lizard OH MAN HE'S SO TOUGH AND COOL AND WILLINGLY TO PLAY BY HIS OWN RULES THAT I NOW LOVE HIM. caps lock is my way of being sarcastic. Fuck Warrant and fuck this story. I'm glad someone came to their senses and brought the Lizard and Calypso back. They deserved better than this shit. F-/Fuck you for writing this
Oh goodie, it's three for three in the LET'S SHOW HOW COOL AND HIP WE ARE. this time the F.A.C.A.D.E. armor kills Lance Bannon. A rival photographer of Peter Parker's. A better character then F.A.C.A.D.E. or any of the people who was supposed to be under the mask. Cole Cooper. Mr. Bryce. and well I'm not even including John Jameson on the list of suspects even though he was one for the simple reason as I doubt Terry Kavanagh would have gotten the okay to actually make him the villain and it really wouldn't make since. Yeah he's hurt people when he's Man-Wolf but he didn't have control of him self in most of those situations. This stupid story ended up killing off Lance Bannon and then didn't even tell us who the fuck F.A.C.A.D.E. was. Fucking hell. This story was balls ass garbage and F.A.C.A.D.E. is another try hard 90s bull shit asshole who can fuck himself. F MINUS MINUS MINUS MINUS MINUS. Fuck you for writing this.
I'm too fucking angry at these dumb stories to even attempt writing an outro.
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