Comicsgate can suck the shit out of my asshole, same with Youtube Grifters.

 This isn't going to be a fun little article about Pound Puppies or the 1986 motion picture House or the Batman comics that came out in 1987 or something I'd rather talk about, no this is going to be me yelling and screaming about something that has been annoying the shit out of me the past 3, going on 4 years now. This isn't going to be a place for you to discuss anything about this. In fact if you respond to this my response will be "Go fuck yourself" I don't care if you agree 100% with what I'm saying or you wrote a 22 page essay saying that I'm wrong for some reason. Not that I have to really worry because no one ever is going to see this, but that's what will happen if you respond. I do not want to discuss this in any way shape or form. I just want to put my thoughts out here and get it out of my fucking head so maybe I can worry about other stupid things because my brain hates me. That's it.

What is this whole thing going to be about, well mostly two things, Comicsgate and Youtube Grifters, because really these are connected honestly, and they fucking bring my piss to a fucking boil. This will be the angriest I get because it's taking a messy old shit on all the things I love in this cruel stupid heartless world of ours. I guess we start at the beginning of this thing for me at least. There's been mentions of Comicsgate ever since that fucking Gamergate shit happened (and no I'm not ever going to talk about that because it's somehow a bigger shit show than Comicsgate if you can believe that and it would take 10,000 articles like this one to talk about everything that went on there) but in 2017 I sadly, sadly came across a youtube channel by the name of Diversity and Comics who is possibly the dumbest person I've ever come across online and I've met my share of doozies.

Diversity and Comics would review recent comics and complain about the "SJW-ness" of them. I'm of this opinion... SJWs don't fucking exist in that large of a fashion. Yep. I'm taking that hard stance right there and now. It's literally a term to paint every single person who's ever had anything resembling a progressive thought. Say something like "Transgender people should be treated well" and then you're the biggest monster in history. Are there left wing people that go too far on things? Sure, but theres so few of them. Okay I'll give you an example, in 2018 when Mr. Stanley Lee passed on into the afterlife, two people said things that were unflattering about him. Every stupid asshole with a grifting platform about SJWs and shit went wild over this. Over two fucking people. Do you see how dumb this shit is yet?

Anyway he didn't know diddly fucking shit about comics period. I'm pretty sure he just looked at the Rob Liefeld (did I mention he had a hard on for this guy, because he fucking did to an insane degree) and never read any of the words. Like conservative people, I'm sorry but The X-Men has been a fucking allegory for bigotry and civil rights and all that stuff since 196fucking4. (oh and one very dumb comicsgate guy said it was just for all outsiders, yeah, I'd consider myself an outsider my entire life and I don't have hate groups coming after me like the Friends of Humanity or that shit).

I'd have left him alone if it wasn't for him getting a insane following, mostly from angry people who never ever touched a comic in their lives (one guy on twitter would go on and on about how great 80s comics were but never had heard of Secret Wars II and if you read 80s Marvel Comics there's no fucking way you wouldn't have known about Secret Wars II because that fucking thing was in every issue)  and these people were riling him up and he was riling them up and well he finally got a twitter account. This is when he'd harass (yes I'm sorry he would harass) people who wrote comics. Mostly any non-white/lady-type/lbgt-type. I don't give a hog fuck if you love or hate that Iceman loves frosty dicks in his mouth now. Whatever decision you feel is right is fine. I don't care, but you don't get to yell at Sina Grace because he happened to write those comics. I'm sorry but you don't. The pros would yell at the trolls/assholes/Diversity and Comics and this somehow became "the pros yelling at costumers". Well yes, if you are harassing someone in a Grocery story you should be told to go fuck yourself too!

Meanwhile a man who had very little talent who somehow got to draw Green Lantern (his art is stiff boring shit and has no heart too it) decided to get in on this action by saying any person that voted Republican wasn't respect or even allowed in the new SJW comics and that he was being ousted by DC comics for voting for that orange bag of shit (would it surprise you that it came out that long before any of this stuff very few people were willing to work with him because he was a dishonest person willing to throw anyone under the bus if it suits him??? no doesn't surprise me either) and he and other people starting yelling about Star Wars and shit. Then new people came in (one of them named Doomcock, and yes he's the guy who believed rumors about Star Trek from 4chan) and started calling every new thing SJW. New She-Ra SJW (for looking like shes 15 and not a stacked grown woman) New Star Trek, SJW. (Yes, fucking Star Trek the thing that was progressive in the fucking 1960s) Thinking anime voice actor man who has been accused of sexual assault not get to keep his job, SJW (this was another shit show that I will never mention again ever because somehow it was even worse than Comicsgate).  Literally at this point anything that they don't like is called SJW for some reason. It's literally to make youtube bucks, which is why they are all grifters, just yelling SJW at the clouds.

I don't care if you think new Marvel Comics are great, bad, terrible, best ever written, worst ever written. I don't care what you think of New She-Ra, new Star Trek, New Doctor Who,  New Star Wars or any of this shit, just realize these people don't give a shit about you and just want your sweet sweet cash. Seriously the Doomcock guy just took rumors from 4chan to lie to you and get youtube bucks. This also makes discussing politics even fucking harder too as if thats a mine field you wanted to jump into. All I want to say is look at these things and make up your own mind, don't let a youtube weirdo do that for you and don't yell tranny at people on the internet who are trans. Even if you are angry at their existence. It just makes you look like a dickhead.

That's it. Maybe I'll stop watching these videos and getting mad when they literally lie to my fucking face about so many things, but it probably won't happen.

If I ever get angry enough to talk about these dopes again, maybe I will talk about Diversity and Comics' comics which are literally worse than anything I've ever seen in any entertainment format. Literal tv shows that lasted 3 episodes before being pulled off the air for being terrible had better stories than his. Night of Horror is literally the worst movie I've ever seen and it still has a better story structure then his garbage.

Oh, and one thing for the 32 SJWs that actually exist on twitter, you can easily ignore them. Wild.

Hopefully tomorrow I'll talk about the Legion of Superheroes, or the weird Chuckie Cheese movie from the late 90s, or DIC cartoons or the many other more fun things to talk about.

THE CLONE SAGA PART 1

 

The Spider Man Clone Saga is finally here! I uh, never read the entire thing. Yeah. So let's see what my thoughts are from beginning to end. I will indicate what stories I read before as a kid and whats new. Some of it is pretty bad. Some of it is really bad, but I remember some bright spots too. Fun stories that get lumped in with the entire Saga and are considered bad.

The first story in the Saga, entitled Power and Responsibility is not a very good way to start the whole thing up. First off Judas Traveller feels like he should be a Ghost Rider villain or something. Weird maybe mystical powers. Hell one of his team looks like a guy that Ghost Rider fought, or fought with. I haven't read that comic in many years. The story is also nearing the end of THE SPIDER fiasco. After fighting the Chameleon for making his Robot Parents (with help from the Green Goblin #2) Spider-Man becomes ENRAGED and has to DESTROY the Peter Parker part of him and man this going through several stories is so forced and stupid. Peter Parker would talk to Mary Jane about this shit  and not do this shit. It's a sad attempt to make Spider-Man HARSH AND GRIM AND GRITTY for the 1990s. This THE SPIDER stuff should have been done with before they did even started this story. Buncha crap if you ask me. Not Recommended.

I don't have much to say about this story except that I didn't like it. It finally ends THE SPIDER nonsense thankfully though. He fights Puma and then teams up with Daredevil to fight the Owl and the Vulture and it felt like you could have taken the first two parts out of the story and that's not great. Also they try to make me think the Owl is not a lunatic and feels bad for what he has done and I sure as hell don't believe that. I get trying to get villains to have a shade of grey sometimes, even really bad guys but some people are just dickholes. Daredevil and Spider-Man fight them and Spidey gets infected by a Vulture (not The Vulture) and then they have get the antidote from the Vulture....which OH SHIT TURNS OUT TO BE TAP WATER!!! can we just finally be done with this THE SPIDER shit already? There are some nice moments involving Mary Jane and her family but this still gets the Not Recommended rating.

I actually enjoyed this story. Ben Reilly decides to take on the identity of the Scarlet Spider when he ends up meeting up with Venom and Scream. It was fun seeing how he would deal with villains that aren't familiar to him. It was fun seeing him create a new costume and some new gadgets (stingers and impact webbing). It was overall pretty fun. I think had the Clone Saga been stories like this we'd be singing its praises. It's weird how I have less to say about a story I liked then ones I didn't, but this has what you want in a Spider-Man comic. Nice art. Fun continuation of the story. I definitely give this one a Recommendation.

This will be an ongoing thing, like many of my things, so we will see what the next stories are like!

What If Wednesday #3: Kurt Busiek let me down man

 

Welcome one and all to the best Wednesday thing on a blog ever! What if Wednesday #3! I am going to be so hard pressed to talk about stuff in the first paragraph of each and every one of these! Anyway up there is an image of the Watcher's first appearance from Fantastic Four #13 all the way back in like 1963 or something. I feel a What If post should probably start off with some kind of picture of the Watcher man. I don't know when I will use my favorite picture of him but we will get to it! Anyway we got more What If's from Volume 2 to talk about!

Holy moly ass shit! Now this is a comic book (by Doug Murray of the 'Nam fame and Rik Levins) that grabs your ass and doesn't let go until the last 3 pages which are just weird joke what ifs that I guess they just decided to shove in there for some reason or another. We will get to the wacky issues of What If someday and boy howdy they are something! Anyway this time the mob DOES NOT kill The Punisher's family AND he becomes a police officer. An honest cop trying to do the best he can, you know like Frank Serpico. He finds out about corruption, judges, his partner and even his Captain are in on it (they are all pretty much working for the Kingpin in the end) it doesn't end well for his family. And then it doesn't end well for the corrupt cops and judges this go around because THEY are who he's after this time. So keep your nose clean or Frank Castle will shoot it off. I'm amazed that 30 years ago we were still talking about issues we are talking about now. And they still haven't been resolved. And the fact people are complaining NOW that comic books have discussed social and political issues. Anyway, this comic comes Highly Recommended! 

What If #22 by Ron Marz and Ron Lim (double Ron action for ya!) is pretty good too. I think I like it because it has a mostly positive ending really. OK so in the mainline Marvel Universe comics published between 1966 and 1987 that had the Silver Surfer in it had him confined to earth (I believe that Silver Surfer #1 from 1987 by Steve Englehart and one of the best Batman artists EVER!, Marshall Rogers was the first time he finally passed the barrier put on him by Galactus. You can easily correct me if I'm wrong becuase I 1.) haven't read every damn comic ever made and 2.) can't remember every single detail about them) but in 1987 he finally found his way off planet and had wild cosmic adventures. THIS what if keeps him confined to earth and accepts membership into THE FANTASTIC FIVE! and they start whuppin ass like its going outta style. In a two page spread they beat the piss outta Dr. Doom, Annihilus, The Frightful Four and fucking Terminus, the huge ass motherfucker space robot guy. Then after that they get a call from a priest worrying about shit and after the priest is possessed BLAM they get sent to fucking HELL and have to fight Mephisto, one of the stand ins in Marvel Comics for you know, Satan (my favorite is Satannish because he's not Satan he's just kinda Satannish.. its wild). Mephisto tells the Surfer he has to stay in Hades forever unless he wants the rest of the Fantastic Five to be tortured by him. The Surfer agrees but refuses to sign his agreement because "The Surfers Word is his Bond" and Mephisto just burns the shit outta the Human Torch. Long story short the Surfer ends up taking over Hades and making Mephisto his prisoner and all Evil disappeares. Wild stuff. Recommended.

I had a hell of a time trying to get those two images to stick there. One would always get deleted. Uh, yeah I think we finally got to the first What If that I really did not like which is weird because it's by Kurt Busiek who usually does very good work. I wasn't exactly thrilled with What If #69 but I'm sure someone would dig it, this I don't think it works very good. Anyway, this two parter starts off with a bang with Scott Summers, Jean Grey and Professor Xavier being blown the fuck up... by Cable. Then it goes back to them all talking by Professor X (who had returned early from space in this timeline) and he tells Cable he's no longer leader of the New Mutants which causes him to throw a tantrum and start a fight and the New Mutants go with him. Oh and THEN they go back to the start of the story where they are at a funeral now and the X-Men break into two factions, one who wants to kill Cable and one who wants to bring him in. It's not even like they both go after him, just the murder crazy faction (led by Wolverine) but the Storm faction is now being taken down by supervillains all teaming up and the X-Men don't bother trying to get help from any other superheroes or anything nah, that's foolish talk. So with several X-Men dead it becomes a time for Magneto to take over the USA and then the Sentinels are sent out and if you don't see that this is going to the Days of Future Past future than you are being silly. It ends with Wolverine pulling some Mutants out of the camps (and people think X-Men isn't an allegory for civil rights from everyone to Jewish people to black people to gays and on) because he got some fail safe thing that made it so that Sebastian Shaw (who made these metal-less Sentinels so it wouldn't be able to tell hes a mutant) saying the X-Men are back. 

Boy fucking howdy I did not like this story. Everything about it feels forced, from Cable not stepping down to the New Mutants not leaving Cable after he killed Xavier and Scott and Jean (I mean you can be against the X-Men for trying to execute Cable without a fair trial and all but JESUS these people were your mentors for crying out loud! Didn't feel like that was something they would be for), then Storms side not trying to get some help from anyone or anything. THEN Dazzler and Sunspot and Strong Guy just being like "ok sure i'll now join you Magneto and these people who killed my friends and not the pro mutant people like the Fantastic Four". I know for some of these you'll go "DURR IT'S AN ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE SILLY" and I'll respond "Yeah but it just splits off at this second, these characters should still act like they did in 616 unless giving really good reasoning and it wasnt here" it just felt like Kurt had a idea to make this end up in the Days of Future Past like Future and just wanted to shove it all in there. The bring side this comic does have Siryn in it, Banshee's daughter and lady redheads very sexy. Oh and the art was pretty decent and those covers are pretty cool. I'll probably end up owning these but if you aren't the kind of person who needs to own every issue in a series I'd say these comics come really Not Recommended at all.

Anyway, what comics will happen next Wednesday!  WAIT AND SEE!

Weekly Comic Discussion #2

 

That's right true believers! It's time for more discussion on some comics I bought! (these were actually published last week but I forgot to pick them up...) I still plan to review X of Swords but since that's gonna be done next week I'll save my thoughts to make a whole review on that by itself so let's see what's up with the comics I picked up this week.

Black Widow #3: Kelly Thompson is one of the best creative people at Marvel Comics right now and deserves more people taking a look at her work. And I want to kiss the beautiful art by Elena Casagrande and Jordie Bellaire (he did the cover and she does the interiors) The story so far is that Black Widow coming back to her apartment from spy stuff is abushed and it goes ahead three months, where she is now has a son and a fiancé and you know some big shit is up. This issue goes to show that one of the bad guys (Weeping Lion.... I don't know who that is) is now getting ready to send in some goons to kill Black Widow and all of the villains just want to leave her in the happy place where she is because they know she'd fuck their shit up if they fail at killing her or her new family. The art in this is fantastic. Just a CHEF'S KISS. The cool fight scenes and everything. I don't think I've seen Elena Casagrande's art before but give her all the comics. All of them.  This issue comes Recommended!

U.S.Agent #1: This one is done by long time writer Christopher Priest who has been working for Marvel Comics since he was a teenager in the late 1970s. He did work for Marvel, DC, and Valiant and I believe even is a preacher! What a life! This is a very fun little story involving the John Walker USAgent, I'm sure people are angry because I think John Walker was without an arm or a leg the last time people saw him but continuity is silly by my book. All comic stories are canon even the ones that contradict the other ones, and I think that was said by Grant Morrison so yeah. The most important thing is that this comic is fun and I do want to see where it goes. I enjoyed the interplay between the asian dude and USAgent, and I want to see how the story ends and I figure that's a good thing. We will see how this plays out hombres! This issue comes Recommended!

                                                              

Marvel Indigenous Voices #1:  I'm for peoples of all types and kinds getting to work at Marvel Comics. I don't like the creepy Comicsgate assholes that appear all over the twitter. I just can't come out and say something is perfect and amazing just because someone who wasn't white did it. I did actually pick up this issue and give it a fair shake unlike anyone in that terrible twitter hashtag movement Comicsgate who will yell at everything because their youtube daddies tell them too. And I'm not going to completely trash this comic either. First off the art by Jeffrey Veregge from the covers to the first two pages is awesome. I love that style and think he made The Watcher look cool as hell. I enjoyed the two page spread and everything. I even want to buy the other variant covers and that only happens when its Skottie Young or that Arthur Germ fellow. The rest of the art feels like it needs a bit more improvement. Twitter was laughing at a piece in the first story of Captain Marvel and yeah it's not good, BUT I did think several pieces within that story actually were pretty good. The first story I also felt probably needed more room to breathe. The second story was pretty good, it's got Dani Moonstar (one of my favorite mutants) and Wolfsbane (another one of my favorite mutants, what can I say I love the New Mutants!) and they have come looking for a mutant who can't control his powers yet and hurt the son of a sheriff. I also loved the ending with Wolfsbane being so happy over the teddy bear. Great stuff. The last story was honestly so forgettable that even after reading it not that long ago I can't remember anything about it except it had Silver Fox in it. I still Recommend this comic if only for the beautiful art but it is defiantly a mixed bag. Still I do see possibilities for these people to grow within the Marvel Universe and all that jazz. I certainly believe my first story for Marvel would be worse if I were given the chance but then again I'm the only person who wants to see a Tapping Tommy/Hypno Hustler team up.

And that's about it for the comics that aren't X-Men that I picked up this week. I might pick up some DC or some indie stuff next week because I don't want this to be come a Marvel heavy blog. 

Re-reading comics!

 

Well as you can see it's time for another set of articles to be put up... I like comic books... a lot. They are fun to collect, fun to read, sometimes even fun to argue with other people with (but not too serious about) even the people behind them are fun to read about (and sometimes sad weirdos you don't want to spend any time with but that sometimes happens between the people behind your favorite things) Anyway, I've decided to re-read some stuff because I want to know what to prune from the old collection (and I have a whole hell of a lot of stuff) so expect a lot of interesting stuff being discussed in the next few days.

Up First will be Ms. Marvel Vol 1. The Kamala Khan version.