The Final Episode #8: Beast Wars: Transformers (1996 - 1999)

 

Does it surprise you that I put out the Transformers original series "Final Episode" discussion out there so that I could end up doing this one? If it wasn't obvious it really was the reason. I had not remembered those three final episodes being so bad but I felt like doing this stuff in some kind of order,  Feels weird to just jump ahead, despite when I was getting into horror movies as a kid I rented every series out of order. I dunno, it feels better to do stuff in order now as  an adult. This is a very bad opening paragraph but that's something you must come to expect from my work.

Beast Wars: Transformers or Beasties: Transformers (as known in Canada) was a TV program that ran from September 16th, 1996 to March 7th, 1999. It's weird how memory can play tricks on you because I would have sworn to God himself that this show was longer lived AND took like a year between the third and fourth seasons, but there's no fourth season! This is Mandela Effect! I'M IN A DIFFERENT UNIVERSE! It has NOTHING to do with the fact that the smoothest liar of them all is memory. I loved this show so much as a kid this was MY Transformers. I'm sure I had seen Transformers Generation 2 episodes and enjoyed them but it wasn't something I just HAD to see. Beast Wars however was a must. This was something I would have been genuinely upset had I missed an episode of.

I'm pretty sure the last time I had seen this show was probably in 2007 or around about. They would show it sometime later at night and I would keep it on as background noise, sometimes even leaving the internet to watch an episode. I think it was this and Dragon Ball Z, but I'll probably be shown tomorrow that the show was last shown in 2004 and it was in the middle of the afternoon shown after Care Bears. What I'm saying is try to find a source other than your memory for something. Had you asked me yesterday I would have told you the animation was 100% dated instead of I dunno, 50%? I think the designs of the characters work pretty well in CGI still 21 years later. It's just the backgrounds and stuff like that don't. I guess they were given instructions to get the characters as good as possible because they needed to sell toys. Weirder still is that I don't even remember trying to get any of the toys at like 11 years old but man I'd love to have them now at 35. Christ I'm sad.

like Transformers and oddly enough, Full House, Beast Wars: Transformers last episode was a multi parter intitled Nemesis Part 1 and Nemesis Part 2. Megatron and the Predacons are without a base thanks to something that happened in a previous episode and Optimal Optimus (yes at this point that is what he was called) and the Maximals are trying to capture them and bring them back to Cybertron. However they find Trantulaus' lair and the big assed Nemesis ship that the original Decepitcons had and crashed there way back when (they ended up on earth 65 million years ago because of some time warp shinanagians) and well Depth Charge is the one and old Maximal that can go after them. He ends up in a fight with his hated foe Rampage and they end up blowing the shit out of each other. This somehow gives the Dinobot clone that Megatron had created using a sliver of Rampage's spark his original memories and thoughts and ideals about honor back. I'm amazed at how much of this I can still remember. It's very sad. Of course Dinobot II ends up giving the Maximals information about a ship within the ark which Rhinox then uses to CRASH INTO FUCKING NEMESIS AND WRECK MEGATRON (who for some reason had become a dragon)'S SHIT. That was fucking cool as hell to see. They get megatron tied up to the ship and fly on back to Cybertron. The past AND future are safe.

Final Verdict:  This was definitely a lot of fun to watch and Larry DiTillio (co-creator of She-Ra!) Bob Forward and Simon Furman tied a pretty nice bow to the end of this series. It's just this is a show that you kinda have to know some stuff before you went into seeing the last episode. The show built on previous stuff and all that. I had a lot of fun watching both episodes earlier (and one of them was a VHSrip, how cool was that?) and I'm excited to re-watch the entire show. However, I'd probably just recommend someone else start at the beginning. I guess those weird childhood habits of watching shit outta order are hard to break.

The Final Episode #7: Dinosaurs (1991 - 1994)

 Most sitcom endings were positive and enjoyable. I mean I say most because some end on cliffhangers that will never be resolved (I still pine for the second part of the season four finale of Duckman) and others go out of their way to be dark as hell just to make a point. Dinosaurs went dark as hell for it's final episode. Dinosaurs for those who do not know was the final thing Jim Henson really worked on before he died, having coming up with the original idea in 1988 (and people say this was a The Simpsons ripoff, and yeah they had the shorts on the Tracy Ulman Show but we all know no one cared about the Simpsons until they had their own tv show and the only thing these shows had in common were they were about a family. So If thats all that makes something a ripoff the Simpsons ripped off the Jeffersons. Yeah I'm saying it! Plus Dinosaurs didn't have 84 seasons of absolute shit that ruins the legacy of the 9 or so seasons of actually great stuff.) 

Dinosaurs may have been an idea from Jim Henson but when it finally came to TV it was created by Michael Jacobs and Bob Young. If the name Michael Jacobs sounds familiar, it's because he created Boy Meets World also for the TGIF lineup. Bob Young worked on shows of all kinds of varying quality. Working on both Family Ties and Who's the Boss?. Michael Gross is great and Tony Danza is not. I will probably end up talking about both of those shows final episodes though because why not. Anyway Dinosaurs ran from April 16, 1991 to October 19th, 1994. Despite being pretty popular the puppetry was too expensive and that's pretty much why it was cancelled. This show was very entertaining and funny. It did all kinds of comedy. Silly, slapsticky, even satire on all kinds of issues of that day. The final episode was also an issue episode. This one is about progress vs nature and how progress is not a bad thing but it shouldn't fuck nature over. They make this point by killing every member of the cast. Yes. This show ends with every character waiting to die. 

The plot of the episode is as follows, The Bunch Beetle are coming to mate so they can have children who will eat these poppy flowers that grow incredibly fast. The problem is that WeSaySo the main corporation in the Dinosaurs world that Earl works for has paved over the swamp where they mate and has been killing every Bunch Beetle they can find. So without the Bunch Beetles, The Poppy Flowers won't stop growing. Thanks to a TV interview by Charlene (who I found out today was voiced by Sally Struthers from All in the Family, wild huh. Fran's voice actor also went on to work on Arrested Development) Earl talks about how great progress is (and the joke about Microwave Toast is probably my favorite one in the episode) and is put on the head of a task force to find a way out of the poppy seeds, pretty much as a fall guy for the big corporation WeSaySo (voiced by George Jefferson, himself. Also I don't know where else to put this but Commandant Lassard also voiced a Dinosaur! Isn't that cool?)  They end up trying to posion the poppy seeds and just end up poisoning all plant life. Trying to create clouds they literally blow up volcanos and create the dark clouds that well cover up the sun. WeSaySo is happy because everyone is buying stuff to keep themselves warm. Earl ends off the episode with a poignant apology for everything. I dunno if everyone will buy it Earl but it was worth a try.

Final Verdict: I gotta hand it to any show that ends up with all the cast, main and supporting waiting to die but still actually being pretty amusing throughout is pretty great. It's very melancholy but it's definitely my favorite Final Episode that I've talked about thus far. I cannot wait to watch the rest of this show and to do a review of the entire thing.