The Comic Review #116: Wonder Woman (Vol. 2) #20 (1988)

 

You know I did say I would alternate and I kinda planned it but PORTNOYD is going to have to PUT UP WITH the fact that I say one thing forget about it and do something else. I don't think I have full blown ADHD but I kinda wonder if I have some ADHD traits. I dunno. I really should be studied, my brain is a wild mess and I'm growing to kinda love it at least sometimes. Anyway I wanted to alternate between a DC Comic and a New Universe comic by Marvel until all the New Universe stuff was done and then probably move on to 2099. I have ideas but I end up forgetting them. I kinda wanted to kill two birds with one stone, by reviewing at least one issue of Every DC Character who had a series and the aforementioned New Universe and also 2099 Universe. We will try to go back to that after this and the PREVIOUS post of Prez #4. Or Maybe I'll forget again and want to talk about something completely fucking weird. It's always a fuckin surprise with me!

There is something I have to reiterate with my LIFE LONG COMICS OBSESSION is that when I started I would only really pick up Marvel, and maybe Batman. Yes, when I was a kid I was very PORTNOYD (aka wrong) about DC Comics. I would call them gay and all that. Except Batman he was cool and my friend. At least thats what I felt at eight. Ah hell, I still feel that way at forty. Batman would totally be my friend and you cannot convince me otherwise! The weird no I'm not buying DC (and for some reason Iron Man. and No I didn't read a single one of their comics except for one Iron Man comic that was honestly actually pretty good) BRAND LOYALTY thing is that I've never been that kinda guy. I'm A BIG FAT DYNAMO and I like to eat all kinds of different things and try new  stuff. I'm like that with my entertainment too like for example I would play BOTH the Sega Genesis and the Super Nintendo. 

I gave up comics mostly in 1998, after a Spider Man story that was overall so bad that I just gave up. I reviewed that story here. I was also getting back into NES GAMES and trying to watch 80s movies and renting them from like ANY rental store. Something had to give and it was comics. It was getting harder and harder to find them. You can't buy something you can't find, ya know! Anyway some time later we moved into a house that was close to the downtown area and I would find out that we actually had comic book stores! TWO of them were close to each other. I had some Christmas money and this was like I dunno 2003 and I just felt like I had to buy some comics. They were decently cheap and this was before I went kookoo and wanted to buy every NES game (something I never did get to do because it depressed me that I had to spend $80 on some piece of shit like Secret Scout or whatever) so I got back into comics and HAVEN'T LOOKED BACK BABY. I'M ADDICTED TO THIS FOUR COLOR CRACK FOREVER!

I would mostly go for Spider-Man and maybe some X-Men and Fantastic Four. Batman too whenever he showed up but one day I decided to BREAK OUT and buy stuff from Marvel Comics characters I thought were gay like Captain America. I'M SORRY CAP!!! It was just because I'm kind of a weirdo. I was a teenager who couldn't drive anywhere and my mom had brought be to the store. I hated not coming home with anything because she'd probably be less inclined to bring me there again. These bookstores didn't get in new old comics very often but I felt like I had to buy that issue just in case they did. I'm glad I did because I found out that I really like MR SERIOUS CAPTAIN AMERICA quite a bit. He's one of my favorite Marvel guys now. I then said WHAT THE HELL and tried some of the cheap DC comics. I mean if I didn't like it it was only like $2 so it wasn't that much. I miss when you could get cool shit for $2. I'm sure this Wonder Woman comic I'm going to discuss SOMETIME SOON was one of them. I think I also got one where Wonder Woman fought a Minotaur. If you are trying to get me to try something new tell me the Minotaur is in it, because I WILL be down. I love you, Minotaur!!!

So Wonder Woman. I think it's pretty wild that I've gone 117 reviews without talking about her once. Sometimes I go out and be adventurous and talk about new things and sometimes I just go back and talk about Batman. HE IS MY FRIEND AFTER ALL. BATMAN IS MY FRIEND PEOPLE!!!! Wonder Woman was created by a PERVY MAN named William Moulton Marston who lived with two women and did WILD KINKY THINGS in like 1941. He put a lot of that WEIRD KINKY SHIT into those early Wonder Woman comics. She is literally in bondage at least once in every single issue. It's pretty amazing. She was drawn by H.G. Peter and they did her stories until William died in 1947. I'm not going to go through everyone who drew and wrote a Wonder Woman story from 1947 to 1987. Hell I don't even know everyone who did that! I just hope WILLIAM MOULTON MARSTON is like getting tied up by some SEXY LADY ANGEL in THE ASTRAL PLANE right now.

In 1985 to 1986, DC did CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS where they started all over with there characters. New origins, new stories, new characters, all kinds of new shit. I think of all the new (now old) stories that were starting over at the time my favorite are probably these Wonder Woman stories. They start her out being a bit naive who hangs out with a old lady professor and her teenager daughter. And she fights evil. They also did stories about things that Wonder Woman couldn't just punch out. This one being one of them. So let's finally get into Wonder Woman Vol. 2 #20 from 1988 because Jesus Fucking Christ am I a wordy as hell bitch.

This story was brought to us by George Perez, one of the best artists who ever did comic books. His dudes were STUD MUFFINS and his ladies were BONER INDUCING with like RIDICULOUSLY LONG HAIR. I loved the way he drew just about everything. Even the goofiest outfits could look cool when he drew them. His best work was in the 1970s and 1980s in my mind. He kinda changed his art later on and it wasn't completely the same. It was never bad but just something felt a bit different to me. I dunno, maybe it was the inker? I dunno. Sadly George Perez passed away in 2022 at the age of 67 from fucking pancreatic cancer. Giving us forty seven years of pretty good to great comic art.  He wrote and drew this story. I think it's pretty good, hell it did make me a fan of Wonder Woman! Now let's finally dig into this story.

Our story starts out with a bunch of CRIMINAL SCUM getting their ASSES BEAT by Wonder Woman. She wants answers. We then go to a SAUCY ITALIAN COP working in Boston where these stories take place, no SKY CITY or COOL CITY or FUCK TOWN here. We are in a real city! THESE ARE REAL COMIC BOOKS DAD THIS IS SERIOUS STUFF DAD. Anyway he is talking to himself about Myndi Mayer, the lady on the cover. She was an agent to the Stars including Wonder Woman and now she's dead on the floor. His COOL GUY BLACK MAN partner knocks him out of his DAYDREAM and they discuss things. They get a sketch and one person recognizes him. It's Steve London!

The cops go to Steve London and talk to him about what might have happened. He can't remember because he got DRUNK AS FUCK with his ex assistant Deni. Steve talks about a guy named SKEETER LA RUE who NO IS NOT SKEETER FROM DOUG GET THAT OUT OF YOUR HEAD PORTNOYD. He also mentions MYNDI'S RED NOSE which well will make sense later on! Then there's a page of Wonder Woman trying to get information out of some CHINATOWN MOB BOSS JERK. She finds out where Skeeter La Rue is after getting out the LASSO OF TRUTH and also PUNCHING SOME GIANT GOON IN THE FACE and does it all without breaking a sweat. They interview DENI to find out that she told Steve that Skeeter not only was giving Myndi coke but selling it to her high class clients too. She also talks about how she found out that Skeeter (and maybe Myndi) had given away some big COMPUTER CHIPS (so 1988 lol) to the bad guys behind SILVER SWAN during the Wonder Woman fair fiasco. That's what set Steve off. It's not looking good for Steve, even the Captain is all like HE DID IT but ITALIAN COP MAN don't buy it just yet!

They are about to go see SKEETER LA RUE who isn't even a GOOD OLD SOUTHERN BOY but some JERSEY JERK. His real named is Michael Boyd. ITALIAN COP MAN gets the notice that Wonder Woman is here and when he sees her POW hes hit with THE BONER RAY. We get a neat scene of Skeeter literally FREAKING THE FUCK OUT over Myndi Mayer. You know this man knows something. I think this happens later on after the cop stuff but George wanted to do a neat comic trick. It's something you'd have to see to get really because I am bad at explaining things and don't even want to try. Wonder Woman wants to use the LASSO OF TRUTH on Steve but Capt. ALBAMASKY or whatever his name is does not want it. Julia, Wonder Woman's OLD LADY PAL is not happy about getting called a crackpot. 

So the BLACK COP MAN calls ITALIAN COP MAN and says they found  Skeeter La Rue/Michael Boyd and he's dead. Wonder Woman tells them what happened. She had used the lasso on him to find out what he did and how he framed Steve London. He was found out by Myndi Mayer who was going to turn him in. He throws her a little NOSE POWDER and tells her to powder her nose. Wonder Woman says she believed that Myndi was gonna get sober again but the Police tell her that Skeeter La Rue didn't kill Myndi Mayer, she had an accidental overdose and was dead when Skeeter La Rue shot her after returning to her office on orders from Choi the Chinatown mobster. Myndi Mayer killed Myndi Mayer. Something I thought was a neat twist when I read this and still think its a neat twist.

I really enjoyed this. You get Wonder Woman trying to find out who did it and the cops also trying to find out who did it and it all comes together really well in the end. It has great art, the characters are very enjoyable and I probably should have talked about an earlier story involving Myndi Mayer to set this one up but it shows her as a flawed person who some people like and some people did not. The drugs did not help. A pretty enjoyable issue that portnoyd will POOP ON. However I think I could get him to admit DC is good before I could get him to admit Doug was a great cartoon. That's for sure. 

 FINAL THOUGHTS: A much better story than whatever the fuck that Spider-Man shit was. It didn't take nine issues to tell either!