Wow this is the most 90s thing ever. Like violently 90s. I kinda feel like someone smacked me around a bit. I don't know if I like it or not but it certainly is eye catching. I had originally picked Mafat Conspiracy until I realized that Mafat Conspiracy wasn't in this group of games. I guess you will have to wait to see what I have to say about Golgo's second adventure on the NES. So yeah. I think it's amazing that we made it to the Ms. That'st like half of the damn alphabet! Actually more than half! That's cool as shit, man. We still have an ass ton of games left. So don't expect for this to end any time soon. Hell the Ms are gonna take some time. So let's dig in and talk some NES games!!!
The last (I think) of three Pool or BILLIARDS games on the NES. It's also the best. I think I felt that Championship Pool tried to hard with the controls or something. I don't know or care because I'm not going to look again. It was not a good game. Anyway this game is one that starts off simple but gets pretty weird quickly, however it has a weird addiction to it. I mean I can only get to level 3 or so but I want to get better at said game and get farther. I dunno. It's pool. It's at least sports adjacent. So thank me for not going into a large rant about sport games or sports adjacent games. It does what it sets out pretty well and I figure any POOL or BILLIARDS guy who also likes old retro games should buy a copy of this game. I'm sure it's one of the games that's still $5 or under and that's pretty wild for retro games in 2026.
I love the NES library. It has the weirdest selection of games possible. You can play games based on books from the 19th Century (like Tom Sawyer or Dr. Jekyll). You can play games based on the bible. You can play games based on a ton of movies (some of them you'd go yeah I can see why they made a game out of this and some that completely baffle the shit out of you.). Games based on TV shows from the 1950s to today (today being the 1980s/1990s). Games based on PLACES WHERE YOU CAN GO TO EAT. LIKE THIS ONE. This advertisement game is to be fair probably the best game based on a mascot for a company ever. I mean it's not hard to beat stuff like Chester Cheetah. I mean Cool Spot is also up there and I like Yo! Noid. So It's not a big hill but MC Kids is the king of that hill (sorry Hank) It's a simple game that has a lot of hidden shit within it. I just only got to the secret world. I don't know if I beat it because it's pretty wild. You can easily just get enough tokens to get to Hamburgler and beat the game. Still it's fun enough to go in and look for every token, some of which are DICKHEADS to get. This is a fun little game with really good music and pretty good graphics for the time. The only problem I have with this game is that the controls can be a bit slippery. It's still worth a play and I am a big fan. This is a better Virgin game than the Aladdin game for the Sega Genesis. YEAH I SAID IT YOU WANNA FIGHT ME.
This is a game I actually really enjoyed. I kinda wished the 8529042 RICE SIMS made by KOEI were more like this game. This strategy game is simple enough that you easily figure out how to play it. It's just a nice little simple strategy game that I enjoyed playing for the bounty (and I think I beat what CHEESELOG decided was a good end point because I don't believe this game actually has an ending. I think it just goes on and on. I also like that this is one of the 4 player games. They made like 5 of them to use with the NES FOUR SCORE. What a dumb name for the accessory. I imagine portnoyd made his wife and children use the NES FOUR SCORE until they all complained about having to play M.U.L.E. I'll play M.U.L.E. with you portnoyd. We can sell space mules. They are like robotic and shit. I really don't know what else to say, you raise space robot mules and sell them for more money than you bought them or something. I don't know, I haven't played this game since I played it for the NES Bounty. I'm just saying I had fun with this game and would probably go back to said game. I'd just have to learn everything again.
I believe this is portnoyd's least favorite NES game. I cannot agree that it is the worst NES game even though everything about this game is so fucking funny. It's just so fucking terrible that sometimes I turn it on and just fucking piss my pants laughing at this game. It's just so inept in every way. It's really weird how much of a crapshoot it is. Sometimes in this game I can get to the end and I think even "beat" it. Sometimes I can't even beat one guy. Not that I play this game much. I think I've done it 4 times. I beat portnoyd threw out all of his M.U.S.C.L.E. figures after playing this game. There's really not much here to say except yes this game is putrid shit but it's putrid shit that I get a good laugh out of. It's definitely in the bottom 25 for the NES. The controls are awful and the graphics are amazingly terrible even for the time. Bandai was such a weird company. Despite how bad this game is there's really not a lot to say about it except I'm sure that M.U.S.C.L.E. deserved better.
Mach Rider is a pretty okay game. I kinda wish it had come out a bit later so more of the janky shit could be fixed out of it. This is one of the early games where you really just went for a score. Even if there was an ending it was one screen before it went back to the game so you could try for a higher score. The controls for this game is just a bit weird and it kinda makes it hard to really get far into it. It's one of those games that isn't bad it's just there's a better game that's similar to it. You have Roadblasters which is just a much better game than Mach Rider. I don't know what else there is to say about that. It's not awful, it's just why not play Roadblasters instead?
Man, I kinda hate to shit on this game because I think Mindscape put more effort into it than they did with say Dirty Harry. They gave you a really big world to look around in. It's just that the car controls are so SHITTY that you won't find anything before you run out of gas. I also think there's another problem with this game is the one time you do get somewhere. I feel Max just moves too slow to avoid the enemies. There's also the fact that you don't have a lot of fuel to begin with. Yes, I know they lived in a post apocalyptic world but for the video game you cold have at least started uis off with a full tank. You don't need to copy the movie 100%, you just need to be a fun video game to play. This is better than say Dirty Harry or another Mindscape game that's coming up but it's still not very good. It's a shame too because Mad Max really deserved a cool game because those movies are awesome. JUST WALK AWAY.......from this video game. (Which I will probably come back to because I really want to get something out of this game but never do. I never learn my lesson) Mindscape was not a very good company as their best games I believe were made by other companies. As uh not great as this game is, it's probably the best game they actually made.
GOOD GAMES: 173
BAD GAMES: 135
OKAY GAMES: 59
GAMES IMPATIENT: 6
GAMES OVERALL: 373
I am proud of you for keeping with this to get to the M's. Also did late 80s/90s ads had a rule that they had to say MEGA, MAJOR, COOL, DUDE, TOTALLY, AWESOME OR RADICAL and use these words in some combination at least like 4 times.
ReplyDeleteLunar Pool is very ok, if I remember correctly it was more of a puzzle game where you had to figure out shots and then clear the table? Or maybe that was Break Time. I DON'T REMEMBER EITHER. Oh wait, yes it was kind of puzzle-y with weird shaped tables. I remember you could pick any of the tables at any time and the final table was easier than like, the first 5. Lol. Anyway, you should mention THE COVER ART with TWO FUTURISTIC DUDES ON IT. It's LUNAR POOL so clearly THEY ARE FROM OUTER SPACE. Again, the 80s were amazing.
Want to feel old? When we were kids, the 1950s were like OLD PEOPLE TIMES. Now today, the 1980s are the OLD PEOPLE TIMES. Gotta wonder how that perspective is seen by KIDS THESE DAYS. So if they made a game off an 80s properties, like the unnecessary Garbage Pail Kids NES game, it's the same as making ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW THE GAME for the NES. Wild shit.
I am torn on MC Kids. It straddles the line of EURO TRASH but it is on the NOT side of the line. It does have a lot of hidden shit. The controls are definitely slippery. The music is not bad but it is like elevator music and will drive you insane if you listen to it too long. I kind of hate it but I don't. I beat it as a kid when I rented it.
People UTTERLY BLOW the Genesis Aladdin game, which gave birth to Earthworm Jim which is the most OK game ever made. Genesis Aladdin is ok as is the different SNES version. I remember back in the 90s how absolutely apeshit people went over it and DAVE PERRY and SHINY ENTERTAINMENT. Even though the Japanese were doing the same or better animation than he was.
I don't know if I would go as far to say MC Kids is better than it. Kind of a lateral move tbh.
MULE is interesting, a very unique strategy simulation game. I didn't play it until I got it in college and I beat it. I tried playing recently and couldn't get into it. Nothing against it though. I don't think anyone has ever played it 4 player. AND NO, JERK, if I am going to subject my family to FOUR PLAYER ACTION, I am using THE SATELLITTE for WIRELESS GAMEPLAY and playing MONSTER TRUCK RALLY with them because I AM A GOOD FAMILY MAN.
HEY. FUCK YOU. MUSCLE is just shit and you do not treat it like the shit it is. That is my problem with you and MUSCLE. Bottom 25 is praising it as far as I'm concerned. The game is incoherent shit. It looks like it was made for the Atari 2600. Fun fact: I have this game sealed. GOOD. I found it in the weirdest way possible. I was meeting a friend of mine for lunch, nearby where he worked. We went into a DELICATESSAN and we ordered our food and for some fucking reason, at the register in a display case in the register island were 2 sealed copies of MUSCLE and 1 sealed copy of Skykid. NO OTHER GAMES OR SYSTEMS OR ANYTHING. And this was like, 2007 for fuck's sake. How the fuck did this shit end up sitting here for that long & why IN A DELI OF ALL PLACES? I bought them, sold one MUSCLE for $300 and still have the other two. The world is a strange place.
I have played Mach Rider, I know this for sure, but I have absolutely no memory of it. I did not have it as a kid and I probably popped it in when I got it or played it on NESticle or something but where and when? No fucking idea. So very little to say about it.
The problem with Mad Max is the fucking gas. You need food for gas and food for progressing in the game. But you blow through gas so quick that you stand no chance of accruing enough to move on. Doesn't even have to do with the crap controls. They just didn't think that maybe kids would want to explore and you know, not have enough resources to do so. There's other problems but this is the biggest imo. It just kneecaps any chances you have.
Mad Max really could have been a good game if they just let you have a full tank of gas to start out with. you really do not get enough gas to do ANYTHING in the game. You literally have to figure out the routes and go to them as fast as possible. Yeah, later on you could give less and less gas for like stages 2 and 3. People have somehow beat it for youtube and I'm amazed at how short it is. I think it's somewhere between 30-50 minutes.
ReplyDeleteMach Rider was a black box game. I THOUGHT YOUR PARENTS BOUGHT YOU ALL OF THEM HUH PORTNOYD. HUH
Lol goingin for some NICE JEWISH SANDWICHES and POW SKYKID AND MUSCLE lookin right at ya. I love it. I do not know why anyone would pay $300 for MUSCLE on the NES. Let alone 30 bucks lol. It's a bad game but sorry I'd rather play it over say X-Men or Rocky and Bullwinkle.
MULE is a strategic game that I like becaues it kept it simple. You will hear me cry and scream when we get to ROMANCE OF THE THREE KINGDOMS. GET READY FOR A NICE STORY THERE.
Lunar Pool is POOL PUZZLE which is a weirdly unique way of making a pool game.
I can't help but love MC Kids. Who couldn't love throwing rocks at the Hamburglar. SATAN that's who!!!!!
IF YOU READ MY EXCELLENT BLOG IMPROVING BLOG COMMENTS, you'd know I didn't get ALL of the black box games, JERK.
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