Of course I had to pick the Mafat Conspiracy AD here for the this set of games. Damien would have punched me in the kidneys and yelled at me for not picking The Mafat Conspiracy. The thing is I'm pretty sure he doesn't even like the game as much as the first or even at all. He just loves Golgo 13 so much that if you insult any of it your kidneys are gonna hurt. I'm not even sure where on the body the kidneys are but I don't like pain. I am a wimp. Anyway, we have an interesting set of games because at least three of them will cause me to go "Yeah, I can't really full review this I don't feel like I've given it enough time" so I guess a new category for games will pop up. Anyway let's see what's up with these six games and see if they are worth playing or not.
I think it's kinda weird that Golgo 13 still feels niche when it comes to anime. I know its not niche in Japan but it comes off as VERY niche to me in the west and it's like anime is popular as fuck all over the damn world but not enough people speak about Golgo 13 which is a shame because Golgo 13 is fucking cool as hell. Sure I only have like one movie to go over and these two games but I can still tell you Golgo 13 could fuck every female member of your family and you'd still give him a high five. Golgo 13 is the MAN WITH THE CUSTOM MADE M-16 and he like assassinates any asshole out there. BLAM RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES. I must admit that this is one of the games that I have not played enough to really give it a fair shake, but I really want too. I just wanted to beat the first game and I couldn't, not even with fifty two lives (such a weird lives system for that game). The graphics have been improved and the music is pretty good. The game feels more Ninja Gaiden-ish now though. The 3D mazes are still here and honestly kind of annoying. I don't remember if the first game did this but you have to go up and down stairs and you get lost so much easier. I do want to put effort into this game and I'm sure it's a good one I just haven't given it enough time to be like COOL SHIT AND BETTER THAN THE FIRST GAME.
This game is going under impatient because I have to learn the SPORT ADJACENT game of DARTS and I just don't care. At all. I like that you get to play as a monkey but I'm sorry I have better things to do with my time then try and figure out several different dart games. I have no idea of the rules of darts and I don't even want to try. I am a lazy bum I know but I just can't muscle up the care to give even an iota of a fuck. It just seems you have t ofigure out so many rules for just not much fun. I do like the fact that they made a darts game for the NES for the people who enjoy the SPORTS ADJACENT game of Darts. I just have no idea if this is a good version of darts and I just don't care. I do like that you get to play as a Monkey but I don't even know if the Monkey is a good choice. If the Monkey is a bad choice then this game is automatically bad to me because WHO THE FUCK DECIDES TO MAKE A MONKEY CHARACTER THE BAD CHOICE? AN ASS HOLE THAT'S WHO.
Oh goodie. It's BASKETBALL TIME AGAIN. WOOO. BASKETBALL. I LOVE IT. YEAH. WOOO. I LOVE KAREEM ABDUL JABBAR. Actually I kinda do. He was really good in Airplane. And yes that movie was how I learned about Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. I do not care about sports. I don't know how to do any of them. I don't know the rules. AND I JUST DO NOT CARE. This could be a great basketball game but I just don't care enough to try. I barely try with the most amazing sports games and I will never try with Fast Break. I don't even know if I ever played it or not. I just do not care. I like that they give you FOUR PLAYER ACTION so PORTNOYD can make his family play it. It also has music from TIM or GEOFF Follin so oyu know it's good. I just don't know how many more times I can say "I DON'T GET HOW THIS SHIT WORKS AND I DONT CARE. FUCK OFF" I'm sure it's at least another 35-40 times. I just know that I'm tired boss, tired of all the fucking sport video games.
This is a pretty good game from what little I've played of it. I have the same problem that I have with Little Ninja Brothers in that it feels like one of the most OBTUSE WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING games on the NES. It's a weird mix of game styles and I just have not played enough to really give it a satisfying review. I really need to buckle down now that I figure out what was wrong with my CRT TV (It was unplugged) and play some NES games. Just me and the game. Trying to figure it out. I have a list of at least three games here that I want to try and get into. Maybe I will do a post later on re-reviewing these games and telling you all about them then. I don't think it's fair to give this game a review.
This game is the third game that I feel I have not given enough time to but I will say that it has the STINK of EUROPE on it and that is usually not a great thing. I will have to come back to this game. I guess. You knew it had to happen. I cannot have played every NES game to death!
Oh hey. It's Magmax. A game I can talk about and it's........incredibly simplistic. You play as magmax and you uh... shoot things. and shoot things. Shoot some more things. You see, this is one of those unending games you shooty shoot shootaroo things. Shoot em up. SHOOT. SHOOT IT. SHOOT THE THING MAGMAX. SHOOT. SHOOTY SHOOTER. Seriously This might be the shortest review I can ever make for this thing but there is so little to say about Magmax. It's very simplistic but to be fair there is some fun to be had making your ship really big and just shooting guys and getting points. It's a points game and for one of those games it's pretty good.
GOOD GAMES: 174
BAD GAMES: 136
OKAY GAMES: 59
GAMES IMPATIENT: 7
HAVEN'T PLAYED THE GAME ENOUGH: 3
GAMES OVERALL: 379
I am trying to think which NES games I associate Damien with the most. Wizards & Warriors 3? Wolverine? I think Golgo 13 might be a distant third.
ReplyDeleteIt's kind of crazy how many anime games we got from Japan and TWO Golgo games is kind of insane. I think they were trying to go for more adult offerings since kids were a done deal but I dunno.
Personally, I liked Mafat more than the first game, but not by much. It still gives you like 6 different game types in one game but doesn't do all of them particularly well. But you know, cutscenes, "..." and implied sex. So sure, let's go for it. More of notable NES title than anything really.
Magic FARTS is an ok game. Not especially great but where else can you play darts on your TV? NOWHERE. Not a game you're going to run out and track down but an interesting oddity. Also YOU FORGOT ABOUT THE ROBOT aka ROBODARTS. That's not his name but like, a robot should be unbeatable at darts but I guess not.
Lol sports games only get worse on the Genesis SO STRAP IN. Kareem Abdul Jabbar's real name is LEW ALCINDOR. Funny how before we born we had him change his name and CASSIUS CLAY to MUHAMMED ALI and GEORGE FOREMAN to GEORGE FOREMAN. Like, people still do that today but it's like Ron Artest (basketball player, what a coincidence) to METTA WORLD PEACE. You don't see this in hockey. I think it's just a basketball thing. I don't think I've ever played this game so lol that's why I wrote the preceding.
Magic Scherezade is a solid game with a few nags. For one, there are too many instant deaths including ON THE LAST BOSS. And when you run out of lives on him, you have to start the entire last chapter over again. Come on now. Also the RPG battles are kind of neat but kind of slow and repetitive. They probably added them because otherwise all ELEVEN of your allies would be window dressing and nothing more. The funny thing is the troopers you can hire are more effective than most of them. But it's otherwise a very fun game with clever mechanics like time travel, the varied genres and a overall nice experience. It's worth taking an evening to work through this game - the 5 chapters go really fast tbh.
Hey, me too, I want to really geniunely give Magician time but I just haven't. It has potential but it also could be terrible.
Whoops, I almost mistaked this for Seicross. Oops. Magmax is very basic but still fun. The whole robot thing is neat and it's one of the better early shooters. However I agree, not a whole lot to say.
Btw I look forward to you having like 16 categories for games on top of GOOD and BAD when this is all done with.
I think MagMax is the most basic NES games ever. It's kinda weirdly charming in that way.
ReplyDeleteMagic Scherezade is one I plan to get into soon. I like that it gave you allies that did different things but man eleven is a LOT.
I would want my name to be KAREEM ABDUL JABBAR over LEW ALCINDOR. He was pretty great in Airplane! and he even showed up with GILLIGAN'S ISLAND.
I don't care enough about Magic Darts or FARTS to learn how to play Darts but I am kinda glad that the NES was so popular and the games for it was so varied that yes it did have a dart game!
Mafat Conspiracy feels very Ninja Gaiden from the little I've played of it.
DeleteCLAWREEM ABDUL JERKBAR. YOU HAVE BEEN REBORN.
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