I wish I had started doing the AD thing from the beginning. It's neat to see games get ads that you'd never expect to get ads. The Krion Conquest is a VICTOR TOKAI game. VICTOR TOKAI is a fine enough game company. I think they have my second favorite name for any company. VICTOR TOKAI is just fun to say. He is VIC to his friends! The best name for a company is clearly AMERICAN SAMMY. I will talk about how much I love that name when I get to the next AMERICAN SAMMY game. I have to say that this ad would have sold me on the Krion Conquest and would probably tried to rent a copy of said game. The weird weapon keeping YOUR EARTH HAND from turning the page is what does it for me. I think I really should become AD REVIEWER FOR SOMEWHAT OBSCURE VIDEO GAMES. Anyway let's talk about another six video games made for the NINTENDO ENTERTAINING SYSTEM!
I think this game was the first time I ever heard of Knight Rider. I think I probably asked my dad what it was and he said some TV show. I don't know when I looked up information on the show but it was sometime after that. I still have not seen an episode of Knight Rider but I really want too. Hopefully this year will be the year. Maybe portnoyd will yell at me enough. We all know he loves to HASSLE THE HOFF but in a nice way. So what is the NES Knight Rider game like? It's not very good but there's something here that I honestly kinda want to like. It's like a Rad Racer type racing game where you shoot cars. I think my biggest problem is that your car seems to drift at the weirdest times. It's like OH hey a car that will give you health or something shows up and pow you drift off and hurt yourself and lose your speed. It's neat that you can jump but despite the fact that I'll probably come back to this game and want to like it I really don't and have to put it in the bad pile. SORRY KITT.
This is another unlicensed company discussion. On American Video Entertainment. They were an AMERICAN FREEDOM EAGLE YEAH FUCK YEAH FUCK YOU USA! company. They made some pretty poor games and games that were really weird but also poor and also very late 80s/90s. I will mention that game when we get to it. Two times I think they made two games that should be in any collection. The two kids a complete get everything on the NES released between 1985-1995 in which you NEED the unlicensed games for that. Nothing will EVER change my mind on this. They would show up in stores and rental places. This is a game that should be in your collection if you just play games for fun. This is actually a really fun game full of KRAZY KREATURES. It's a simple game to play but VERY hard to complete. I do believe I have completed all of the 36 levels in this game. I have never played the second player mode but I would like too. I bet portnoyd hates this game a lot because he's a poopy jerk.
I kinda hate the term ripoff. Yeah I know a lot of stuff ends up borrowing from other stuff but they still have a different flair to them. This game is considered a Mega Man ripoff but I do feel it has enough of its own flair for that to be unfair. I dunno. I like this game quite a bit honestly. You play as a little ANIME WITCH and this game was originally MAGICAL DROOPIE or some weird Japanese shit like that. They became a Krion. I don't know what a Krion. Probably should have paid attention to the ad up there. Still this is a good little game. You play as a witch and you have different weapons you can change into. You have a broom you can ride on. All of the enemies you fight are totally robots which does not help the whole ripoff angle at all. The biggest problem with this game is that is is FUCKING HARD AS HELL. I have at my best gotten to like level 1-3 in this game. This game is harder than ALL of the Mega Man games (which were hard for me as a kid but I really don't think any of them are hard BUT THAT IS FOR MY REVIEWS OF THE MEGA MAN GAMES). This is one of several games that are very Mega Man inspired and we will get to the best. I think I would rank this the third of those three games but if you collect games or even just play them you should give this one a whirl.
This is a game that I kinda do like and I really would like if they made one fix to it which they can't because it was released sometime in like 1992. They are not going back to do anything with this game ever. It is not the most popular Simpsons game and only sad weirdos like me even remmeber Krusy's Fun House for the Nintendo Entertainment System. This game just wants you to do so many things to beat a puzzle. For say Kickle Cubicle or Lolo you have one screen to do what you have to. This game is more of a platformer type puzzle game. You have to do a LOT of things in each level to beat it and if you miss one of those things well get ready to see the rats either get stuck or just go back to the beginning. That's just frustrating. Also the game wants you do some some weird jumps later on and I don't want any of that shit. I guess like I'm saying theres some decent stuff in here and some annoying stuff. I dunno I guess I'm just gonna put it in the OKAY pile. Krazy Kreatures is the better puzzle game in this post.
I've talked a lot about how I like simplicty in games. Sure I like games with bigger wilder worlds that have an epic adventure feel but sometimes I want to play a 1970s Kung Fu movie where everyone knows Kung Fu even the black dudes. So many 1970s black dudes knew kung fu. I mention them because the third boss in this game is a black dude. The graphics are simple, the game play is simple but it seriously hooks you. I think what hooks me is that while the graphics are simple the design of the characters have well a lot of character making it fun to smack the shit out of them with your punches and kicks. Seriously though. This is one of the black box games you should own AND play. I swear if you don't play this but I hear you talking about THE HANGTAB AHHH I will break your dick in two. I don't know how but I WILL... if you do not have a penis I will glue one on to you and break that. I don't know where I went with this so I'm going to skip to the next game. It's good for everyone that I do that.
This is one of those simplistic games that I want to enjoy. The characters have character and the levels are decently designed so you don't mind zoning in and playing like 40 of them. I'm sure this game loops whenever you get to the end too. The big problem I have with this game is well two things: I don't like the jumping and I also think its sometimes hard to hit the enemies. I also wish the game would tell me how many enemies I need to kill to get out of the stage. It just seems weirdly random. I dunno. There is a lot to like about this game too and I wish I was better at it is all. I guess I'm going to put it in the OKAY pile.
GOOD GAMES: 158
BAD GAMES: 124
OKAY GAMES: 54
GAMES IMPATIENT WHATEVER: 5
GAMES TOTAL: 341
I have questions about this ad. I never knew the Krions were like, a thing. I guess I always just considered Krion Conquest a ... well, I'll talk about it later.
ReplyDeleteI somehow missed Knight Rider in the 80s too. I think it's because I usually only watched ABC and MacGyver. So I missed this show. I have seen maybe 2 episodes of the show so I will give you a pass.
The game is pretty ok. Rad Racer with guns is how I would describe it. The time constraints are really rough though, even if your gas and shields hold up, time is an issue. Otherwise it's just fine. I have this cart signed by both THE HOFF and KITT. I am happy about that.
AVE sucks differently than Color Dream ET AL. It's hard to describe. They largely pulled from the same well of shitty Taiwanese gerbage but their original stuff was more... pointed? I don't know what words good.
Krazy Kreatures is also pretty ok. I played through it when I got it like 25 years ago. I remember enjoying my time with it but it was nothing like "OH MAN GOTTA PLAY KRAZY KREATURES AGAIN". There are far worse licensed and unlicensed titles out there.
I would like to see a Krion Conquest hack with the title screen changed to MAGICAL DROOPIE.
Krion Conquest is a poor attempt at mimicing Mega Man. The art style is very obvious but the gameplay is not. It is far too hard, to the point where I don't know how you can say it's a good game. I know you and I do not give a shit about Dark Souls and other bullshit, but those are not good games imo because they torture the player. So does this game. The controls are sticky, the enemies cheap and it's otherwise pretty bland. It's also short too, assuming you can finish a fucking level. Who the hell playtested this? There is no room to fuck up which you had plenty of with MM. This is NOT an okay game.
Krusty's Fun House is a Simpson licensed Lemmings. And Lemmings is shitty gerbage. Therefore, Krusty's Fun House is shitty gerbage. I rented the SNES version back in the day and hated it. I still hate it. I do like the idea of platforming mixed with Lemmings but it's still mixed with Lemmings. NO.
Kung Fu AKA SPARTAN X AKA WHEELS ON MEALS (I love that this is a Jackie Chan game at the heart of it) is terrific. IREM is pretty damn great. There isn't a lot more to say about this TERRIFIC GAME.
Kung Fu Heroes is the kind of game you wanted on the NES but not really executed in a great way. What you touch on is accurate: hit detection is shit and things are very nebulous. It feels like there's 400 secrets per level and you'll never find all of them too. But that's a good thing to give the game depth. I would put this game in the GOOD PILE but I guess OKAY is OKAY.
I do give Kung Fu Heroes a little extra leeway because it was clearly made in like 1986 or whenever.
ReplyDeleteKung Fu is great. I am going to watch WHEELS ON MEALS soon enough. Does Jackie Chan fight a dwarf man in it????
I dunno. I do enjoy challenging games. I mean I ain't gonna play Dark Souls but I would like to beat this game. I think its fine.
I do like Krazy Kreatures enough to put it in the good pile but also I have not played it since I beat it like five or six years ago. I dunno.
I am glad you got to meet Kitt, he is like 9529 years old. He also played a grumpy doctor on St. Elsewhere and MR FEEEEEEEEENY on BOY MEETS WORLD.
Kung Fu Heroes also was the basis for Little Ninja Bros (actually a direct sequel) and when you get to Little Ninja Bros you will get MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF NOSTALGIA from me. So Kung Fu Heroes has a bit of bleed over nostalgia from me too.
DeleteJackie Chan doesn't fight midgets really ever I don't think. But there is Robin-B-Hood where he has to take care of a baby FOR COMEDIC EFFECT which is the closest you'll get.
I dunno, I genuinely tried for an entire evening to beat world 1 of Krion and I could not fucking do it. If you do it, it would be an achievement.
Well, here you have me who hasn't played KK in 20 years. So here we are lol.