Let's start it out with a STORY! I remember this game was one of the MANY games that you would see all over the place back in the late 90s/early 00s and into the 00s also. Seriously go to a used video game store BLAM Guerrilla War. Go to a thrift shop BLAM guerrilla war. Go to the flea market BLAM Guerrilla War all at the simple low price of $5. That was the standard really for NES games in Newfoundland. You sons of bitches with your Funcolands where you go in and buy 340 games for $25 WASNT gonna happen here! Anyway I think someone on some message forum said this was a great game so I picked it up and was honestly kind of disappointed when I beat it on the first go. I think I even got into an argument with that person. However before I reviewed this game on 20 or so year old memories I was like LET'S SEE IF I STILL FEEL THE SAME WAY and started up a emulator and played the game through and yes this is a very, very, very easy game. However it's still pretty fun. I guess I'm just getting old and a simple fun game to play is more my speed now. This game is also hilarious as it's about CHE GUEVERA and FIDEL CASTRO and that's hilarious to me. The game has some great music. The graphics and some of the things the game does are really neat. There's two really big guys that you can't actually fight, they just pick you up and throw you around and the effect is actually pretty well done for the ol' NES. It's a fun little game that's worth playing. I dunno what else to say about that.
I forgot about this games existance. It is a Zapper game from the ORIGINAL BLACK BOX games that dorks jizz and piss their pants all over. I will never understand the OMG ORIGINAL HANG TAB!!!!!! shit they piss shit out of their asses about. How about caring about the quality of the fucking game and not how much money you'll make because of some STUPID PIECE OF SHIT IDIOT WANTING THE ORIGINAL HANG TAB!!!!!!!!!!!! I forgot about this game because thinking about it makes me angry. Not only for the HANG TAB SHIT but because this is a fucking miserable game. I fucking hate Gumshoe for the NES. I think it might be the worst Zapper game on the NES. Actually yes it is. It's also the worst Black Box game. Yeah the sports titles might be worst technically but they don't make me as fucking angry as THIS STUPID PIECE OF SHIT DOES. This game is fucking miserable. You play as a Gumshoe who has to be kept from dying from everything hitting him. Also once you hit him and he starts going up he can't hit the damn fucking ground anymore. This means you have to keep him from hitting any of the RANDOM ASS SHIT that is flying at you. This game is annoying and I don't like it. Fuck you, Gumshoe.
I wish NES games were all considered dumb and worthless by most people again. I wish all the dumb shit I like to any degree was considered dumb and worthless by most people again. I want nerd culture to go back the way it was. I want YouTube to be a viable source of entertainment again, not one made up of shitty reseller jerks, stupid anti-woke I AM ANGRY AT GAYS AND WOMEN jerks and AI crap. I wish people didn't argue about political GARBAGE onlie. I am just tired boss. I bring all of this up because Gun-Nac is seen more as a OMG THIS IS RARE (and no it isn't. Sorry, I honestly have come to the belief that the only truly RARE NES games are Stadium Events and the Panesian games) AND THAT IS THE REASON I NEED TO OWN IT. SO I CAN SHOW IT OFF and not because I love the thing and just want to own it. Gun Nac should be owned because it's a terrific video game. If you like ROOTY TOOTY SHOOTY games then Gun Nac is one you MUST own. It's fast and furious and you get all kinds of cool weapons and most of them are fun to mess around with. The game's challenge is fair. It has some really hard moments but it does start of pretty easy. The game has great music and stages and the best thing about it is that it's weird as fucking hell. You shoot a robot bunny in the first damn stage! God bless Japanese weirdness. Down with collecting so you can be like OH HEY INTERNET I HAVE THIS THING BECAUSE I "FORCE COLLECTED" IT instead of looking around places for a copy. I don't even want to look up the going price of this game because It'll make me puke out of my asshole. Go play Gun-Nac it's awesome.
I had to look it up today. I was always curious but never bothered until now. Apparently this is NOT related to the television series that ran from like 1954 to 1974 and for like 5 or 10 years on radio behind that. Yeah, there was a time when Westerns were like the Superhero movies of today. All over the place and everyone just going to watch them. Didn't matter what it was they just wanted to see Cowboys. Anyway this game is not related to it and Capcom even put a . in there. I do not know when this game came out but it really might just be the FIRST GOOD CAPCOM game because they did not let the PIECE OF SHIT MICRONICS ASSHOLE make it. They made it themselves and did one hell of a job. This is a top view Western style ROOTY TOOTY SHOOTY game. You play as BILLY BOB who has to shoot down some CRIMINAL SCUM and save the town. This is a fast paced action game. You got all kinds of guys getting ready to shoot your ass. You can buy things from the towns people. You think they'd just help you for free but I guess they want DAT BLING BLING which costs money. You can buy a horse so you don't die in one hit. You can buy different guns that you lose when you get hit using them. This game is great and I'm glad the MICRONICS MAN was told to GO FUCK HIMSELF. It makes me want to play the Arcade game. Anyway I like the name of the guy from the TV show James ARNESS. He was Peter Graves brother. ARNESS is a fun name.
You know the ONE thing I really wanted when I was collecting? A Power Glove. I still kinda want one. Oh and I also really wanted a R.O.B. too. I just wanted to CONFUSE YOU a LITTLE BIT by saying a Power Glove. I am a saucy boy. Anyway I never got either when they were at a price they honestly still should be at. I do not believe either are rare enough to be over a hundred dollars each. That's just assinine. I will still get a R.O.B. though. I do not care. I love that guy. He looks like a little Johnny Five and I love that. So I never had a R.O.B. but I did own Gyromite and Stack Up. Two games you have to use the R.O.B. robot to play. I don't know why I didn't put these two games on the back burner like the Power Pad games I have been skipping. I just forgot about them. It's not hard because one of the two R.O.B. games seem like the most boring game of all time. That's Stack Up. Gyromite actually seems like it could be a fun game if I were to get the robot. Oh well, Enjoy this non-review that I will redo when I get my R.O.B. which I will. I will be the weirdo who will wear his Power Glove EVERYWHERE after he gets it. It might have been bad to play games with but man it still looks 1980S FUTURE COOL which is the best kind of cool.
This is a great game to end the Gs on and also this post. Gyruss is one of ULTRA GAMES (aka Konami #2) best games. Of course it's really hard to pick when it comes down to it. Ultra Games was a company Konami made up just to make more money and more games becuase Nintendo was like NO ONLY 10 GAMES A YEAR or something for companies. I do not know why they wouldn't want more good games on their console and to tell a company that made GOOD to GREAT games like ALL THE TIME This is yet another ROOTY TOOTY SHOOTY game but it's done differently than both Gun-Nac and Gun.Smoke. I love how unique ROOTY TOOTY SHOOTIES games can get. This game has you in the background shooting at enemies coming at you. You shoot enough of them and you get to the next stage. Every few stages you get a boss. You have to get from some planet to I think Uranus. ehahahah. Butts. Uh, okay I have to act a little mature now. Hhaha. anus means butt. hahahah. butt. Okay okay. I got that out of my system. Konami or ULTRA GAMES does everything incredibly well like most of the time. The graphics are great for the era, the music is great, everything is great about this game. Makes me want to try to Arcade game. Anyway Gyruss is a very well made game that is worthy of playing.
GOOD GAMES: 134
BAD GAMES: 93
OKAY GAMES: 34
GAMES IMPATIENT: 5
Let me tell you about Japanese ad flyers: there are a fucking ton of them and they all look as neat as that Gun Nac one. While searching for FC games, I came about a LOT of listings for them. I did not buy them but they all looked like they were made to be really cool and by people who gave a shit. Unlike 90s US game ads where it was about being edgy and stupid.
ReplyDeleteYou better not sass Guerilla War. It's such a fun game. It's a very fast, quick moving game like Ikari Warriors but actually made kind of well. I say kind of because it is almost too loose and a little sloppy, but I like it DAMNIT. There are a ton of powerups everywhere and TANKS! The only negative I will accept is there is a ton of flicker. Let's see if you speak highly of it as you should.
Ok good, I will not SASS you for not agreeing with me. It is very common but that is a good thing. The person on the messageboard who said it was a great game WAS PROBABLY ME. I have this game sealed (and a loose copy) because I like it so much and yes, it is also cheap. One change I would make to the game is only having 3 continues. Unlimited continues right where you left off make the game way too easy and I think this change would make it just right.
I agree that Gumshoe is not good and fun. It's a fucking chore to play. It came up on the bounty and I could not beat the first stage even with the fucking mouse in an emulator. It's a decent concept, fun if you think about it but just miserable to actually play. Also, the funny thing about hang tabs is... the games were sealed... who is using those hangtabs for anything? Apparently created so jackasses 30 years later can jerk off to them apparently.
You are correct on what NES games are actually rare, just add the Myriad 6in1 and you covered them all. Anything Nintendo manufactured is uncommon at best unless it has a special situation like Stadium Events and ONLY Stadium Events has that situation. Also, I agree with all the things you said. Can we roll back reality 20 years? 2005 was the bronze age of society. After that, it's just shit.
Anyway, Gun Nac is excellent. I don't know how the hell it got released in the US because it's VERY Japanese weeby but props to ASCII for putting a game out where a space ship shoots carrots on the cover. Also like Guerilla War, this game cannot give you enough powerups. They drown you in them. I think this is a practice that needs to return.
Gun DOT Smoke is quite good and fun. Honestly miles better than Commando, a game Capcom themselves put out. Basically a shooter but kind of not. Early Capcom had some BANGERS and this is one.
I now want to do a gofundme and call it BUY CLAWX A ROB AND PARTS TO PLAY GYROMITE. I tried playing Gyromite the proper way, which is to spin the tops and move them and use them to go back and forth and fuck me, it was hard as fuck. I don't know how they expected anyone to play this fucking game the way they wanted. Instead, everyone else just hit A and B when they needed to and even then, it was STILL hard as fuck later on in the game. Anyone who beats this game the intended way is using psychic powers to keep the top spinning long enough to proceed. The game itself is ok, very Black Box style along the lines of Wrecking Crew. I am glad it's cheap. Like Stack Up should be. I know the S's are a long way away but Stack Up is the one NES game where to win, you don't actually do anything in the game - winning is placing the pieces in the right order on the ROB parts. Wild.
Gyruss is a pretty great game and tbh, this port is better than the arcade version. The music is incredible and it doesn't do too much on the graphics front, but it doesn't need to. It's also dirt cheap so no excuse for anyone not to get it and play it. And the Ultra Games thing... well... can you imagine if companies like Mindscape were able to drop a deuce of 30 games a year on the NES? That would be some shitty gerbage alright. I guess Nintendo didn't count on Konami, Capcom, Sunsoft, Tecmo and Taito to keep dropped TRUTH BOMBS about good games on the NES over and over again.
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