Man the AVGN. He gets a lot of discussion these days. He still somehow gets a insane amount of views but this here is from his like 5th or 6th time doing something with the NES game Dr. Jekyll. None of them really beat the first review where he just feels genuinely beat down mentally by the game. I remember being angry at the AVGN because people would automatically assume a game he talked about was bad without playing it for themselves. Or realizing he was a joke. I kinda got over it. I still actually watch him even if he's clearly burnt out. I mean going back to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde for like the 5th or 6th time is just really desperate. I'm not as insane as the guys on the Cinemassacre Truth on reddit. Those dudes are nutty. Anyway I picked this image because this is the time where I review Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Will I buck against the trend like I have before for other games or will I open up my ass and dump all over it and call it the worst NES game ever. Well people you have to read five other reviews before finding out!
First off, I think Double Dragon II: The Revenge might just have the greatest NES Cover box of all time. You are totally renting this game for the weekend. Or owning it. I'm pretty sure I owned the first two Double Dragon games as a kid. I know I had one of them. These were very popular games for that age. Anyway Double Dragon II sadly gets rid of the weird little RPG thing the first game had going on with the moves getting better and different but other than that pretty much improves everything else. The graphics are the best and the music is CHEF'S KISS. I will not hear any sass towards those two things. The punching and kicking of the bad guys is great just as it usually is. The only problem is that they were like You know what this well done beat em up needs more of. YES YOSHI I KNOW MORE PLATFORMING. Sadly Yoshi got his way and this game got way more platforming it seems. The platforming of this stuff was quite poor. It's just the biggest problem with any of these games really. Everything else is perfect.
I'm sorry but this will have a HOT TAKE in fact maybe two HOT TAKES within this mini review. The first HOT TAKE is that Double Dragon III is a good game. Yes, it's a downgrade from the excellent second game, with five levels in the game. The second HOT TAKE is that this game is not as super ultra impossible as most people will say. The game, like the others you just have to get into a groove of punching dudes. These are not very hard games. The hardest part of this game is the final level and the final boss. Marion is VERY HARD. However you can beat her and her smelly mummies. She is NOT impossible. Still this game has pretty great graphics, very good sound and you get to play as two new characters. Sadly only one of them is any good. Chin is too much of a slow assed bitch to really play as but the Ninja guy is pretty awesome. Ninjas are awesome!
I do not know how many times that I have to say that I do not watch sports. I do not play sports. I do not know the rules of any sport. I am not good at ANY sports game except maybe being decent enough at the Punch Out games. It is really hard for me to judge any sports game. I had a Toronto Raptors sweater just because I liked Dinosaurs. I thought the Harlem Globetrotters where made up by Simpsons joke writers. I do not know Basketball. I do not know Baseball. I do not know Soccer. I do not know Football. However I can tell you this game is one I'm very okay at this game. I can even get a few points in! Then the computer smacks my booty and I start crying and turn off the Nintendo. I will say that this is probably the best Basketball game but then again I don't remember any of the other Basketball games for the NES. This game is Konami after all. If you like Basketball then you'll enjoy it.
I think this game might win the award for most boring fucking shooter game of all time. You can literally not interact with the enemies if you don't want too. It's that shittly made. The only problem is that this game goes from so easy you could give it to a 95 year old woman and she'd be able to play it to holy shit this is harder than making sense of my life when you get to ANY boss. They are all so after your ass that it becomes comical. Anyway there is very little to say about this game except I do not enjoy playing it and it's a bad shump. Go play Gradius or some shit. Fuck Double Strike.
I think the genre of "Where the Fuck Do I GO in this game?" is a huge genre on the NES. So many of them just drop you into the game and you just get left wondering where to go. There are many games that are pretty good at this. I like Blaster Master, Clash at Demonhead and Metroid among some others. This one however is just a mess because it never really gives you any hints. It also is a HUGE game where you can go into a different set of areas do get put somewhere entirely different. It's like you need two maps, and honestly I have beaten this game and yes I did use a FAQ. I don't care. I could get over the damn where the hell do I go if the play control wasn't the absolute shits. That's what really sets this game in the bad pile of the Where The Fuck Do You Go genre. Sadly because man that's a cool fucking cover. I just wish I enjoyed playing the game.
You know for all his bitching I think the AVGN secretly likes this game. Why would he go back to it for three reviews, a weird lets play episode and a fake movie review. I think he likes this game and won't admit it. You have another fan to talk to with it James, Portnoyd in his wrongest opinion ever stated likes this game. Or doesn't think it's complete shit. I don't know about you but once I beat this game twice to get the best ending because me and another NES FAN were trying to beat all the NES games we could. This was in 2006. We both beat Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and I do not think we enjoyed our time with this game. I certainly did not. This game was a ugly, wretched mess. First off you go so fucking slow as Dr. Jekyll making it incredibly fucking hard to do anything with the bombs people drop. You also get one fucking weapon that just hits bees. Wonderful. Then you get into the Mr. Hyde stages which are more fun but you also don't realize until you look on the internet that if you meet up with Dr. Jekyll you get hit with Lightning which makes no fucking sense because Dr. Jekyll IS Mr. Hyde. THERE'S NO MEETING UP TO BE DONE YOU SHITTY FUCKERS. This game is a painful, ugly slog that gets put on my worst of NES games list. I don't give a shit, this game is awful rubbish and I hate it. This game causes Robert Louis Stevenson to spin around in his grave like in the ending of Dr. Jekyll and Hyde Together Again an obscure 1980s comedy film no one reading this has ever seen or ever will see. It's still better than this piss shit garbage. It's not the worst NES game though. There is one game I hate more. We will see it hopefully. Anyway, wasn't it weird that this and Tom Sawyer were made based on books from the 19th century. That's just really weird to me. I don't even remember any popular Dr Jekyll or Tom Sawyer things that came out in the late 1980s. Oh well, fuck this game in the ear.
GOOD GAMES: 83
BAD GAMES: 73
OKAY OR HAVEN'T AGED WELL: 24
GAMES THAT MIGHT BE GOOD BUT IM AN IMPATIENT BABY: 2
AVGN is really overdone at this point. It was a funny shtick when it was on Screw Attack and he did it just for fun, as opposed to A FRANCHISE. Having him sign NES carts is the dumbest shit imaginable, and this is coming from someone like me who has a lot of signed NES carts.
ReplyDeleteAs I said in my previous makes this blog so much better reply, the platforming in Double Dragon II stinks. But otherwise, it's such a move forward in quality, scope and look that it's really something that you can try and overlook the platforming.
Double Dragon III is too hard but it's not a bad game though. It looks really great and has a lot of quality to it, even if it is a lot more compressed than the other two. More of a 1v1-ish game than a beat em up like 1 and 2. But it's fucking hard as shit. You are definitely wrong on this. The arcade game is worse.
"I thought the Harlem Globetrotters where made up by Simpsons joke writers." could be the most excellent unintentionally amazing quote you've ever said. And I believe it because the Globetrotters are goofy shit.
This game is known as EXCITING BASKETBALL in Japan. They have a lot of other EXCITING sports games including EXCITING BILLIARDS, which if you've ever wathed someone play pool is a complete lie. I am not big into sports either and I think basketball is lame so I really have never played this. I am sure it is fine but the only notable thing about the game for me is that it is like the #2 cheapest NES game after HOOPS. I beat Hoops. This has to have more play value than Hoops.
I have had a sealed copy of Double Strike for almost 25 years. I have yet to open it and have yet to play it in any way. It's going to stay that way.
I have always wanted to like Dr Chaos. It's totally what the NES is about - explore a house and shoot shit. But it's rough, man. Each of the side scrolling stages, assuming you can find them, are brutal and you are always underequipped for them. I'm not even going to dock the game for the controls - it's an early title and was a FDS game - but it's rough around the edges. Goonies II did it better unfortunately.
DR JEKYLL IS NOT THE WORST GAME ON THE SYSTEM. Not even close. If you learn how to play it, it's very doable and almost, ALMOST a FUN ROMP. The bombs are easily dealt with because the fuckhead dropping them can be seen coming and you prepare accordingly. The Hyde sections, if were the only part of the game, would stop people from giving it so much shit. The Jekyll sections are slow because you are a FUPPISH DORK IN ENGLAND. If he was doing ninja flips and decapitating people with his cane, it would make less sense than most NES games do. I am not saying this is even a top 500 NES game, but it is not bottom 10 or even 25. WRONG.
lol i like that you have a sealed copy of quite possibly the most random game.
ReplyDeleteat least the games you get signed are either made by the person or related to the person. AVGN didn't make any of these games or was never connected to them before said reviews. Larry Hama already had a connection to GI Joe or Bucky O Hare.