You know what's funny is that I said I'd try to make less NES posts like two days ago in Discord and now I'm already deciding against that. I mean yes, I do have a list of things that are not NES related that I would like to discuss for you all within this blog. It's a decent sized list but at least two of those things I can't do until the weather gets better and you can walk around easier. And two of them I can't do until I sit down and watch two tv shows in their entirety. However I'm going to be looking around for other things that I said I would do to make posts on. I know there's a big one but I'm still not really up to starting that right now. Anyway I'm not feeling great and I'm also worried and I also want to kill time so there's nothing better for that than talking about six games for the Nintendo Entertainment System and then having portnoyd discuss them too. It's a lot of fun and I do enjoy it. I just also want to get to the stuff on the list. Anyway, time to discuss six games and hopefully at least enjoy talking about four of them. That's actually a pretty good ratio.
This is one of the many sports games I never played. This is probably the one positive thing I can say about this game is that I like that this reviewing every NES game is having me talk about EVERY NES game to some degree, which means finally playing like the less than twenty games I have never talked about. From 1998 when I got into collecting NES games until like 2007 I was really only going for the best games, my favorite ones. The stuff that I knew I would play. However sometime in 2007 I got a bug up my ass because I had like 250 or so games that I enjoyed playing and felt like hey let's go for the full set. I sold all of my games in 2014 and wish I had kept them in boxes for like six years. It's amazing how selling those games for like WAY too much money made me happy then but it's kinda fucked realizing that Little Samson now goes for 2k. I sold it for like 700 or so. I spent 50 bucks on that copy. I don't know why I'm talking about rarity because this game is one of the least rare games made for the NES. Copies of this game will exist after the apolcalpyse. Right along side VHS tapes of Titanic and Jerry Maguire. I do not get why there were so many copies of Jerry Maquire. I thought it was not very exciting when I saw it, but yes. I spent $2 on this game, when every one who sold NES games at the flea market (or any other games) made their games at least $5. That two dollars could have gone to buy something much more enjoyable. Like a kick to the nads. This game somehow moves slower than 10 Yard Fight. 10 Yard Fight at least has a reason why it sucks and is no fun. It was like one of the first damn Famicom games in 1983. This game came out in 1989. The same year as Mega Man 2, TMNT and Ninja Gaiden to name a few. This game is a huge embarrasment. This is the worst game Rare had anything to do with. This has to be the worst football game for the NES, right? I fucking hope so.
This is yet another sports game I have never played. Here's the thing about sports games I feel that the majority of them are games you really have to play with a second person. I do not have anyone in my life who wants to play ratty old NES sports games when they have 10000 better choices. Very few sport games seem to hold up from the NES era and this is not one of the ones that too. This is a very dull looking and playing game. It's just not exciting. I really wish I could say more but I can't. This was also a $2 purchase in a time when $2 was not the go too. I can't even call this the worst basketball game because I'm sure there is another one. It's a very boring game that probably wasn't very well liked whenever it came out. Despite there also being like 912031 copies of this game out there. I really know I am in the minority when it comes to sports loving but I'm sure there were better options than this back then right? Arch Rivals was a better game. so was Double Dribble. This is just boring shit.
Wisdom Tree adds such a weird flavor to the NES. For two reasons. One it was the second name change for Color Dreams. Yes Color Dreams was THREE companies. Color Dreams, Bunch Games and Wisdom Tree. They just changed their name three times. The second reason is they put out a lot of Jesus-y religion games out on the NES (and oddly enough Game Boy and Genesis) which adds a weird flavor to the games. There's interesting questions to ask the people who worked on these games and I would love to be able to do that. I don't think I could figure out a single question to ask about the previous two games. As for this game. I must admit it's not bad. I think it was the sequel to Exodus which was done on the Crystal Mines engine. I must admit I think the puzzles in this game are better and more fair than either of those games. The only problem is, if I feel like playing a puzzle game. I'm seriously going for one of the Lolo games, Kickle Cubicle or Fire N Ice. This is a game I've played off and on and only ever gotten to like level 20 or so. I think. It gets to the TOO HARD AND ANNOYING point way too quickly and I dunno, not in love with that. I'm gonna have to put this in the okay pile because it's still a decent $5 pick up. I mean if you are like an ULTRA SUPER PUZZLE FANATIC who eats up Lolo and Tetris and everything even remotely puzzle-y then yeah this is a worthy addition and will probably keep you entertained for a while. For people who are like me who enjoy puzzle games but aren't going to rush to play everything it's simply just okay. Still would love to talk to that Nina lady. I bet she's cool as hell!
I remember back in the NES SCENE DAYS OF YORE this was a game the OTHER PEOPLE would like. YHou know the non-NESecisty people. THE ROYAL RANGER LIKERS (which I am one of. He was a nice guy). It just reminds me that there was a time when you could have several forums for NES games and have people who didn't like others on one side. It was wild but also kinda fun. I dunno. I was sixteen and it was entertaining to get into a flame war because RandX got a bug up his ass because Sappy called Pokemon gay. I have no idea why RandX ever stayed in the same chatroom as Sappy for more than a minute but to be fair I don't know why anyone stayed in a chatroom with Sappy. Dude just liked to get a rise out of people. Not that RandX wasn't foolish as hell at times. I don't know why I am bringing this up but this game reminds me of that era. RoyalRanger was a big fan. I know STRX10 was a big fan. Everyone who played it was a big fan of it at the time. Except one person. That person was me. I loved every other Sunsoft game I played but I could never get into this one. I could never beat the first level. However in like 2006 I finally decided while trying to beat as many games as I could (again with Strx) I pretty much put this game into the NES and played it until I could beat the first stage and became a HUGE FAN. This is a great game. Seriously I think if it had stayed as a Terminator game which it originally was going to be it COULD have taken the top spot for best Licensed game and when you realize how good Batman and Gremlins 2 were that's high fucking praise. All of the weapons are really cool and the levels are fun and varied. The music is fantastic and the graphics are incredible. The challenge is pretty good too. Once you really get a feel for the game you can get through it. This is one of the best 100 games and I'm glad I finally did see what everyone else saw. I used to call this game Journey to Sillyass because I make terrible jokes. Play this game if you haven't.
This is an arcade hit! As it says on the box. I mean SUPER arcade hit. Sorry. Anyway I have never played Joust on the arcade but I do think this NES version is pretty good. You play as a knight who flies around on an ostrich Jousting other knights into lava. The level gets harder and harder to play on the longer you play and you just play wanting to get points or until you feel you have to do something else. These are perfect kinda games to just play 15 minutes of to let off some steam. I dunno if I could do it like other arcade guys do and play this on an actual arcade for 40295 hours to get an insane high score that someone then makes a documentary out of, but I do enjoy playing these games. They are simple but tough. Even when they get hard they never lose that simplicity. It never becomes like you have to do a billion things to get to the next stage. However this might be blasphemy to some but I like Balloon Fight a bit more than I like this game. I think Balloon Fight just has more variety which is better. Not to say that this isn't worthy of being in your collection (if you you know collect these days like a stupid idiot). Still these games never get THE ALMIGHTY BLOWJOB from new collectors and they deserve it more than fucking Stadium Events that's for fucking sure!
The Jungle Book might just be the worst movie Walt Disney had something to do with. This was the last movie he personally had something to do with and was released after his death in 1967. The movie has 15 minutes of plot and like 45-50 minutes of dancing. I don't even think it makes it to 70 minutes. It's very nicely animated dancing but seriously Baloo and the kid whos name I can't spell piss around for the majority of the movie until the plot comes back in at the last 5 minutes. It's amazing how they put again 15 minutes of plot in a movie that might have barely made it to 70 minutes. It's not great. I've seen it I think twice in my life and both times I was not very impressed. I don't know why I brought up a movie review but I felt like it. I did at least one point say I would review as much Disney content as I could and there you finally got a Disney movie review. Anyway I had The Jungle Book on the SNES as a kid and I wasn't a big fan of it. I played it recently and am not a big fan of it. I no joke think this NES version, one of the last NES games to ever be released is much better. It showed that the NES still had some power left in her. They could have kept making games but seeing as Nintendo and Virgin are companies and they need to make money and most people were not playing NES then. I'm sure many NO IM NOT BUYING YOU A SUPER NINTENDO parents had relented and bought one by 1994. Anyway unlike the SNES game where you can go straight to the end if you know where it is, this game you have to pick up a bunch of gems before you go to find Baloo. The levels are nice and in size but never really too big that you get lost (except in like one level I believe, with the treehouses that bring you to different areas) in. It's a decently challenge, has pretty good graphics (but they look a little weirdly dark to me?) good music and I dunno I enjoy playing it. That's all I can really say about this game in the end is that I enjoyed playing through it and would probably do it again.
GOOD GAMES: 147
BAD GAMES: 118
OKAY GAMES: 47
GAMES IMPATIENT WHATEVER GO AWAY: 5
GAMES TOTAL: 317
I mean, we're all here because of NES so it better draw more discussion out of us.
ReplyDeleteYou enjoy, like me, seeing everything the NES has to offer, good or bad. It's like, people worked on this and then they tried to sell it and people actually bought it. That counts a lot more than some shitball homebrew some dipshit is trying to pawn off on carts because they think their shitty gerbage is actually good. That's why I collected and it's why you did too.
Yeah, don't get me started on waiting to sell stuff. We greatly paired down the collection around the same time you did and lol some of it should have been packed away too. But you can't think like that. You made $650 on Little Samson. Shmucks buying it now for $2,000 are not going to be making even that selling it now. We may have made less but we spent less than they could ever hope to. Yeah, I could have sold my NWC now for $100k, instead of the $7.5k I sold it for but I essentially paid $600 for it. And tbh, I never really cared for the NWC because I fucking suck at it. It was a doorstop and I made $7,000 on it. I'm well ahead and very rough math is with EVERYTHING we've bought for the game collection and now with what we've sold, we are at even money and we still have everything left in the gameroom.
I don't mean for this to come off as chest puffing. It's very hard to avoid doing that. But I want you to think about how ahead of the game you are like I am. You are, no question, in the black on your NES games. You did not take a loss and you came out ahead. There are slab shmucks out there who have lost thousands. Feel good about that!
Oh hey, John Elway's Quarterback. Or as some may call it just Quarterback. It's probably best you're getting it out of the way now. It's pretty ass but the arcade version is better. This just got a shit port imo.
WORST GAME RARE HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH? IT'S NOT CALLED JOHN ELWAY'S EVERY GAME RARE MADE, IS IT?
Ba-dum-tsh
Jordan vs Bird sucks. The CPU is an asshole. It has a lot of options to play with but the game is so fuckinbg miserable. On a siee note, I would love to get this signed by Jordan and Bird. Bird is probably doable but sports star want $7845872368723648723 dollars for an autograph and Jordan would probably tell me to fuck off even if I offered him like $10k. So this one is never getting signed. Probably for the best because it's indeed a $2 game.
You really don't get Bible games anywhere after the NES and Genesis. Super Noah's Ark on the SNES is a bizarre footnote not worth mentioning. Flavor is the right word. Honestly, it's good they are mostly shitty gerbage because if they were good, the world would have divided by zero. I mean, sure this and Exodus are ok at best but really, they could be so much better.
It was weird, when I joined the scene, it was right before NESFan went down in flames. And it was the NERDS (Rhett, Rand, etc) vs THE COOL KIDS (us, essentially) so it was like SCENE WAR. Then it cooled down and that Jo dude lost his mind and then we just had random sites. Then WHITE GORILLA aka ROYAL RANGER emerged and the divide was clearer. Jesus H Christ why do I still remember this. I can't remember something from last week yet I can remember RR's nickname. Fuck me.
Journey to Silius is just too fucking hard. It's also only like 4 levels but they are just way too unforgiving. Anyone who says this game is easy is lying. I had it growing up and made it to level 3 once. It's such attrition. But man, what a fucking soundtrack and it's such a cool game. I am glad you came around to it.
I LIKE BALLOON FIGHT MORE THAN JOUST TOO. Joust is very ok. It's a hard game but I can see with a lot of practice being a goddamn ninja on that fucking bird. Game is indeed a classic though, one of the few pre-NES-arcade games that came along to the NES like Defender II. It's hard to get mad at it, it's just an arcade game made to suck quarters down and it does it well.
I also did not like Jungle Book. I think it was re-released in 1982, 83 or 84 and it was one of the first movies I was taken to in the theaters. I did not like then and don't like it now. But it did spawn Talespin so I will give it a very minor pass. The NES game I do not like. I dunno, Virgin games have this vibe that doesn't sit well with me. Kind of like Codemasters games but not nearly as offensive. They look good but play boring.
ReplyDeleteare you SASSIN MC KIDS, PORTNOYD?!?!?!?!
Deletewhen did you sell your NWC? I see it being 7k in like 2011 after PAT THE NES PUNK makes it a bigger deal for YOUTUBE NERDS. I never got the hubub around that thing and never wanted it. I mean you are right about the fact that I did make more than I put in and I doubt anyone will make money on Little Samson because I am 99% sure there are a shitload of sealed copies just sitting in some baby boomers old warehouse he has but never sold stuff out of because he really doesn't need too or want to spend the time now at like 69 years old to do any of that shit. Seriously I don't think LITTLE SAMSON or PANIC RESTURANT or POWER BLADE 2 were sold in such little quantities as NINTENDOAGETUBE likes ot think. I hope the millenial kids of those Baby Boomers (or whoever inherits it) sells it all for as much money as possible while ruining the YEAH I BUY THESE GAMES BECAUSE I WANT TO MAKE UP FOR MY SMALL PENIS collector types.
ReplyDeleteSo yeah. John Elway is amazing in how bad it is for 1989. Like especially when you realize the BEST FOOTBALL GAME literally comes out two years later.
Journey to Silius IS very hard. It might be the hardest Sunsoft game that isn't Blaster Master. However Sunsoft never did make WEAK GIRLY MAN GAMES. They made games that put HAIR ON YOUR CHEST. So I'm glad that I GOT MORE HAIR ON MY CHEST THEN ROBIN WILLIAMS NOW.
I never thought of getting Jordan Vs. Bird signed but I kinda hope it happens. Like I don't know how but I hope Michael Jordan and Larry Bird just sign the game. For $2. Then you can be like HEY BITCHES I GOT THE MOST EXPENSIVE $2 GAME EVER!!!
Balloon Fight is better than Joust again.
I give the Jungle Book credit for the Baloo character that shows up in Robin Hood and TaleSpin and other places otherwise It's just not very good. I liked this CANADIAN DUB of a JAPANESE ANIME based on a book from a BRITISH INDIAN WRITER that showed around here as a kid. It was the JUNGLE BOOK if you couldn't tell. It was way better than the Jungle Book.
I sold it in 2010 for $7,500 the video game museum in Rochester NY. We listed it on eBay and one of the staff asked about. I am very happy it is there and safe from scumbag collectors hands. I sold it and this OLD POST will keep THIS INFORMATION SAFE because we needed money to pay off debt. I dug us a hole buying games and my wife was genuinely mad at me when she found out. My wife and I have a really great relationship and she's only been genuinely mad at me once. This was it. So I burped up my expensive shit.
DeleteI sold the NWC, the box and manual for Stadium Events, the 3 Panesians, the sealed Caltron & Myriad and the Sachen crap. I made about $30k. I don't give a shit about the Sachen stuff, as mentioned I'm indifferent about the NWC and I rebought the Caltron (for $300... sold it for $1,400 to Dain the owner of NA, oops). Would like the Myriad, Panesians and SE box and manual back.
That is a regret. I should have asked my mom to help me out and kept the games. Alas.
You are correct - they made at least 10,000 copies of each game, probably way more. NES games sold like hotcakes, even crap like you've reviewed. Their logic doesn't make sense. Speaking of Power Blade 2, I love that DNG paid TWO WHOLE DOLLARS for a sealed copy in 2000. Best times.
Dude thats fucked up, Robin Williams is dead.
Larry Bird does signings of some sort so it's possible. But it'll be like $1000. I paid $200 for Freddy and that has been the highest so far. I could easily drop $10k on Stallone (2), Michael Keaton (3), Maccaulay Culkin (2) and a bunch of other real stars but dude, thats a lot of dough.
That's a wacky ass chain of command for that Canada dub.