Hey look it's two of the cartoons made by REGNIALD HAGGARDY and LEON BARBARY. Yeah that's right Port I DID THE JOKE BEFORE YOU COULD. So this is an ad for several Flintstones and Jetsons games. I have not played the Sega Genesis or Game Boy games. Maybe I'll review all of the Sega Genesis and Game boy games. It would be interesting because there are so many from both libraries that I have not even touched once. Anyway this is a neat AD from Taito and I guess they made all those games. Whatever happened to Taito? I'm guessing they got so big that a bigger company bought them up becuase that's what happens it seems. Anyway they make pretty good stuff and I would put them in fourth when it comes to third party developers behind Konami, Capcom and Sunsoft. Anyway let's review some more games. Woo.
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This is a shitty european made game. I don't even know what games europeans make these days but back in the day they made annoying shit. I like Alfred Chicken on the NES but the rest of them are ugly ugly games made by Ocean which make me shit my pants in a hateful rage. This game is not made by Ocean so it's a little better. Your character moves kinda slowly and on a very tight timer where you have to go all over a level just to find computers to stop rockets. To stop these rockets you have to do sliding puzzles and I fucking hate sliding puzzles. Getting them in a loot bag at the end of a birthday party was like getting a dog turd or a punch to the face. They were just annoying, unpleasant and not fun. Ever. Even though the two I've been able to get to in this stupid, stupid game. This game has weird controls as I mentioned above. The enemies, even simple ones take like 83402940 hits and then you have to wait for your weapon to refill a little bit WASTING TIME ON THE FUCKING TIMER. It's also a pain in the ass to move to different kinds of weapons and stuff. I do not really like this game but I will admit the graphics and music are pretty well done for the time period. It's just everything else that annoys me. Still I do come back to this game hoping one day to beat it. Also in the cartoon this is based on James Bond Jr is actually James Bond's nephew and THAT MEANS HE IS NOT A FUCKING JUNIOR AND HE SHOULD STOP FUCKING LYING AND BE ARRESTED FOR STOLEN VALOUR. YOU AINT SHIT JAMES BOND JR FUCK YOU.
Some people really really really dig this game. To be fair I can see why. There is something here with this game that actually was not based on the original classic film but the fourth movie in the franchise. Jaws the Revenge, a movie so boring and terrible that not even I will bother to defend it. Anyway you go from one area to another leveling up and trying to fight Jaws. Then you stab him in the gut with the boat's pointy thing. Look I'm not a fucking boat captain here. Piss off. And you win the game. I can see why people enjoy this game but I think it's just a tad too simple. They needed a bit more meat on the bone for this one. I don't know what they could have added but it's just not $60 in 1988 or whenever it came out worthy. More like $5 worthy. You could seriously beat this in less than 10 minutes if you know what to do with the boat stabby shit. Not awful but I can't put it in the GOOD GAMES pile either.
Taking yet another mulligan here. And I will probably end up taking another one when it comes to Wheel of Fortune. There were four Jeopardy games on the NES and I could not do four mini paragraph long reviews for all four. I only have so much to say about these games. Which is this, in one player mode the game is very very very uninteresting. However this CAN be a fun trivia game when played with other people. I've done it before and it was pretty great. I like the fact that three people can play the game but I couldn't have three people play it because I did not have a Four Score. Yep, that's all I have to say about Jeopardy and I will be putting all four of them in the OKAY section, seeing as it's not easy for me to get people to play NES with me and when it's one player it's just not all that great. That's what I think at least. On to the next game!
Oh hey, this is the Jetsons made by ANDORE BARNYARD AND JOHANN HANDLEBAR-MUSTACHE. SEE PORT THIS IS WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE A GOD DAMNED LUNATIC CRAZY MAN. Anyway this is based on the Cartoon series that started in the 1960s, got a second season in the 1980s and stayed around until sometime in the 2000s. Seriously The Jetsons adn the Flintstones were like the second and third most popular Hanna Barbera things until they just seemed to dissappear. It's very weird. TV channels stopping rerunning them and people stopped caring. They talked many times about a live action show or a movie starring Jim Carey and I don't think Jim Carey would do a good George Jetson. Anyway this is a pretty good game overall but it gets pretty hard and the item usage is connected to something you pick up and if you don't have those pickups to power the item and sometimes the jumping can be really off. Otherwise I still like this game and I get to do my favorite thing which is PISS ON NEWER COLLECTORS. There are like 12 copies of this game on ebay right now, some with the box and manual. It is NOT rare. Rare is one copy on ebay once a year. This game is uncommon. Hell I'm pretty sure I saw a copy after I bought mine here in Newfoundland and once something comes to Newfoundland it is no longer rare. This game is not worth 1 grand complete. I'm betting Portnoyd is very happy he probably paid like I dunno 100 for this game complete in like 2005. If anyone says this game is rare punch them in the gonads. Hard.
Would you believe that this is a well done, easy to pick up, fun to play, tennis game where I can actually score points!?? No! Well you'd be right. I'm just BEING A STINKER like my HERO Bugs Bunny. This is a game I played for like 2 minutes before I lost an entire game by playing against the FASTEST TENNIS PLAYER OF ALL TIME. Seriously it was amazing. I don't know if I was up against JIMMY CONNORS in the first match or what but I lost so quick I didn't even get a chance ot find out how the controls work and THAT WAS ON THE BEGINNER mode. I then said fuck you and turned the game off. I'm sorry but I'll try with most other NES games at least a little bit but I just can't do it with 95% of sports games. I just simply do not give one iota of a shit about it. It's actually kind of comical how little I care. Anyway fuck this game in the nose.
I really quite like the Joe and Mac games for the Super Nintendo. They were two games I played a LOT of as a kid (especially part 2) and still have a lot of fondness for. The NES version is however kinda rubbish. It's VERY downgraded from the SNES version and in today's world where you really do have a choice in playing both you'd really go for the SNES games. This game just feels smaller, cheaper and just thrown out to get some extra money from NES owners who just couldn't get a SNES for whatever reason. Despite all of it just feeling so lackluster and thrown together the WORST part is that you have to hold up o nthe direction pad to get a bigger jump and you WILL have to do this because the regular jump is horse shit for assholes. This is not a very fun game but I somehow beat it twice. I will put it in the bad category.
GOOD GAMES: 144
BAD GAMES: 116
OKAY GAMES: 46
GAMES IMPATIENT WHATEVER GO AWAY: 5
TOTAL GAMES: 311
EXCUSE ME CLAW.
ReplyDeleteYou got it WRONG.
The proper way to make fun of MIKE HANDA and GERRY BERBERBERA is still keep the structure of their names while making fun of them for their inability to make good cartoons.
REGINALD HAGGARDY = NOT GOOD
LEON BARBARY = GOOD
A proper usage would be REGGIE HAGGA. The -RDY throws everything else. But I appreciate the effort.
It'd be great if this was MY ENTIRE AND ONLY REPLY to this post and I never commented on it again.
But it's NES so no I cannot stop.
Taito is GOOD and FUN. I would say they are one tier below Capcom/Konami/Sunsoft but that isn't an insult and yes, they would be #4. Taito was purchased by Square Enix. Who knew the companies behind FINAL FANTASY and DRAGON QUEST would suck up the BUBBLE BOBBLE company.
While I am the biggest proponent of calling EUROTRASH what it is, that being EURO TRASH, James Bond Jr is less Euro Trash-y than most and not a bad game. I remember I reviewed this game for NES EL33T with RAND and RHETT. Yeah.
Anyway, the sliding puzzles are hard as fuck but the platforming/action is pretty solid. The cartoon is lame but well, still a decent game.
I really like Jaws. I will defend it up and down. It's a simple arcade-y action games and that's all it needs to be. The graphics are very clean and sharp, which is a tall order when you've got shit like... other LJN games.
And GOOD NEWS, well known RETRO ATTENTION AND GENERAL WHORE Jeremy Parish worked on the ENHANCED EDITION of Jaws that GIANT CONSUMER WHORES Limited Run Games is putting out soon. Look it up, I guess that'll give you the meat you're looking for. He says he added CONTEMPORARY ACTION RPG CONCEPTS to the game so I'm sure it'll be fucking miserable.
This is the game series that comes first alphabetically that Claw will go EHHHHH TOO LAZY.
NOW YOU SEE, YOU GOT IT WRONG AGAIN. JOHANN HANDLA AND ANDRE BARYAYA. That's how you do it. Must I make an EXCELLENT POST on MY EXCELLENT BLOG to EDUCATE YOU on making fun of these BAD CARTOON MAKERS?!
I really didn't like Jetsons. The jumping really sucks and makes the game miserable. I don't know how Cheeselog beat this for the bounty. Also, I like how Claw gets game collecting and no one else does. Also I got this for $25 complete from eBay in 1999. That would BLOW new age retard collectors MINDS.
I have not played any NES Tennis games except like.. FDS Konami Table Tennis and Nintendo Tennis. So I can't even comment on this. Jimmy Connors looks like he just sharted, in his pic on the box. I originally wrote this as looks like he just sharted on the box. Which would be worse.
I have never liked Joe & Mac. It's a good looking game, and was hyped back in the day but it's really just not fun to play. This game was a prime example of "Ok I guess we'll put out a NES version" when the SNES was like "HEY I'LL SELL MORE COPIES". Yeah. The game is an honest attempt at making a good NES port but you can't miss the scaling down. It would have benefitted a lot from a redo in the same way arcade Bionic Commando looks different and BETTER than the arcade version, which still looks pretty good, and what do you know, the NES version is way better. Oh well. It was Data East.
lol BILL HANNA and JOSEPH BARBERA are LEGENDS of GREAT cartoon making. Jerk.
ReplyDeleteLol NES El33t I liked that site. I mean until RandX got a bug up his ass over something incredibly small and hacked it. King Sushi was a pretty good fella.
$25 for this game in 1999 is wild. That's more than I paid for my SEALED Darkwing Duck which i clearly made UNSEALED so i could play it. I lost the box and manual very easily too. Lots of fun.
Data East working with some company called Elite. Which I think was european. I gotta give them this much though this version of Joe and Mac does NOT feel like a eurotrash game.
I would have liked Jaws with a bit more meat to the bone in like 1988 not whatever Limited Run which I've never bought anything from is doing. I don't like the idea of them trying to remake old games. Just bring the stuff back and make uh maybe make better choices? I dunno if JAWS would be my first choice of game to bring back from the past but what do i know.
ROBBY HANKA AND BRUTUS BABABA SUCK.
DeleteLol I felt kinda lame joining the lame side of the scene for their network of sites that were exactly the same. I wonder what Rhett is up to. I'm assuming he works for ICE.
Isn't that great? Being able to open a game and play it fresh? Without worrying about the value? Yeah it is.
Elite sucks, so that explains it. CLAW with the FACT REPLY.
Dude, LRG has picked some absolutely weird choices to bring back. Like 3 Stooges. We will see your OPINION on it much later on, but that would probably be in the 500-600 range on top all NES games to get redone from my end.
HANNA BARBERA ARE GREAT AND YOU STINK.
DeleteI legit enjoy Three Stooges A LOT more than ANYONE should and I'd STILL be like wtf if I saw a remake of it.
HABBA BEBABA grape kids.
DeleteClaw, today Europeans make meticulously detailed and boring simulation games. Space trading games that are fancy front ends to spread sheets, European history strategy games with every minor noble family ever, and long distance trucking games where you drive every inch of Poland in real time. Penn and Teller’s Smoke and Mirrors would’ve toppled the economy of Germany as everyone rushed out to play Desert Bus.
ReplyDeleteSo what you're saying is they say Koei games and thought "This is too exciting?"
DeleteI want to drive through Poland.
Delete