It’s time for me to talk about another three (or sometimes even more!) cartoons that crossed TV screens from 1980 to 1989. And in case of cartoons that had 65 or more episodes got reran into the 1990s and 2000s. However the cartoons I’m gonna be talking about today ran for one season each and were all made by Ruby-Spears. Ruby Spears was created by Joe Ruby and Kenneth Spears in 1973 after splitting from Hanna Barbera (where they had created Scooby Doo for the company.) Ruby Spears lasted from 1973 to the early 1990s. I believe the last cartoons they made were Mega Man and something called Sky Warriors or some shit. I’ll get to them when I decide that I’m sad enough to start ranking and reviewing every 90s cartoon, which might just happen. You never know! The thing about Ruby Spears was they made some REALLY FUCKING WEIRD cartoons and all three of these are pretty weird, we will start from the least weird to the most weird but man I’m gonna get sick of typing the word weird by the end of this. Weird.
Created by Steve Gerber with character designs from Jack Kirby! Steve Gerber created Howard the Duck and Jack Kirby WAS JACK FUCKING KIRBY! Yes, the both of them worked at Ruby Gold and there are like at least 14 unused Jack Kirby ideas that I WISH were made into crazy ass cheeseball cartoons like this one. Goldie Gold is about an incredibly rich woman named well Goldie Gold who teams up with Action Jack to find newspaper stories for her newspaper the Gold Street News! They go one crazy fucking adventures because Goldie Gold has like 7053 trillion dollars. She has her own fucking Space Mansion! And an Under the Sea Mansion! Under the Sea dome things are always fucking cool. I don’t give a shit who you are that is cool as fuck. This cartoon was a lot of fun to watch and I’m willing to watch the other eleven episodes. I would have enjoyed another season of this wild ass nonsense. She also has a dog named Nugget! Every action cartoon made between 1968 and 1981 needed a animal sidekick.
Yes, if you ever needed to know how much cocaine was used in the 1980s the answer is way too much because the people who made this had to be high as shit to think a Rubik Cube cartoon was a good idea. Some things can work as cartoons and some things cannot, no matter how hard you try. A Rubik (I swear it was called Rubix but I guess I was wrong. or it’s one of them Mandela Effect things). Even if you make it magical and have it voiced by Horshack of Welcome Back Kotter fame. It’s never going to be a good idea that could have lasted longer than a season but it did. That’s the magic of the 1980s. And also cocaine. Anyway this cartoon is incredibly cheesy and while the concept is really really stupid. It’s still a lot of fun to sit back and enjoy. Rubik is like the most over powered character probably ever. The only thing that stops him from taking over the entire universe is that he’s not a bad guy and also if you drop him and his colors get all messed up he gets stuck inside the cube. It’s weird. Also the theme song was done by Menudo and the man who was the story editor Mark Jones went on to make Leprechaun, Leprechaun 2 and Rumpelstiltskin. Truly Mark Jones is a gentleman and a scholar!
The weirdest of the three cartoons we are going to talk about today is Turbo Teen. It involves a teenager named Brett who during a stormy night crashes into a government lab in his car, flying into a laser beam that changes molecules and BAM you got yourself the cheesiest damn cartoon ever. At least of the 1980s. Whenever he gets too warm he turns into his car and has to cool down. He fights the Dark Rider (a big foot truck!!!!) (voiced by Frank Welker who I really should have done a count for. I’m curious to see how many cartoons Frankie boy showed up in). Also can streaming services like try to find these old shows and put them on there so I don’t have to watch decaying old VHS rips? I know I’m the only person who wants to sit down and watch all 13 episodes of this show but I can’t even do that. Why can’t we try to find all of old media before we go LETS REMAKE IT WOHAA RREBOOT GLGAFLDSFLAS STREAMING REBOOTS WOO WOWOWWOOO. You can really tell I’ve grown tired of writing about this stuff for today. Anyway Turbo Teen is fucking goofy and it’s fucking weird but it’s also a hoot to watch.
I actually really had fun with these cartoons. Some people on YouTube made videos on these cartoons and I’m sure they are just ripping off the Angry Video Game Nerd and going POOPY CACA DOODIE MY ASSHOLE FART instead of any insightful or funny commentary on these cartoons. Say what you want about these shows but I’d rather watch every episode of them before I watch a single one of those AVGN ripoffs.
Anyway, here’s the list!
- Inspector Gadget
- Spider Man and His Amazing Friends
- The Incredible Hulk
- The Smurfs
- Go Bots
- Spider Man
- Turbo Teen
- Goldie Gold and Action Jack
- Rubik the Amazing Cube
- Spider Man
- Care Bears
- Pac Man
- Yogi’s Treasure Hunt
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