The Final Episode #45: Everybody Loves Raymond (1996 - 2005)

 

It's been too positive around here lately. It's time to get a little angry so I've decided to discuss a sitcom I never liked even though I would watch it quite a bit because it was on during shows I DID like. This show came on CBS and was in a block of programming that had Becker, The King of Queens (I like this show. Piss off) and everyone's favorite old black man circa 1996 Cosby. He is no longer everyone's favorite old black man. You know because of all the sexual assaults' he committed. It's a shame I have to mention that every time I mention him or a show he was in. I just want to talk about how 11 year old me thought Doug E. Doug was a comedic genius and deserved all the love and respect. Cool Runnings is a gosh darn classic of cinema and if you disagree you can fuck off right into the sun.

This show apparently started thanks to a skit Ray Romano did on the Late Night Show with David Letterman in 1995. David Letterman was even a producer on this show. I am now waiting a full month to review the Avengers comic with him in it as punishment. You hear that DAVE I KNOW YOUR READING THIS AND I DONT MEAN DAVE W I MEAN THE FAMOUS DAVE YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THAT REVIEW AND NOW YOU GOTTA WAIT ANOTHER MONTH DICKHEAD. I would also me remiss if I didn't mention every one of these shows (and The Nanny) all crossed over on each other. I like that most of Television is in the same continuity because of so many crossovers. It's pretty amazing. We will talk more about this whenever I discuss St. Elsewhere.

You all know about watching a show because it was on the same channel and another show was coming on. We all did it. Just watch something we thought was pretty shitty but we'd watch it just because it was after or before a show we did like. I watched this show for at least a few seasons because of Cosby. They both premiered the same year of 1996. I think the only episode I was ever excited for was an episode that mentioned Pokémon. It was not worth getting excited over. The big problem was about 98% of episodes were the same damn plot. Ray gets angry at Debra or Debra gets angry at Ray and they are miserably depressing and bitter at one another. I do not get why they were married when they got angry at each other over sometimes really dumb shit. Oh and you can say the exact same for his mother and father they really should have gotten divorced in like 1956 or whatever the fuck. I could take this shit if it was like really funny and it never was. I mean Peter Boyle that sweet beautiful man could get a laugh out of me but it was never really worth the 30 minutes I spent being annoyed by everything else.

So this brings us to the Final Episode which was so creatively called The Finale. Yep. They didn't give a shit anymore in 2005 during the shows 9th season. This episode is Ray whining about an easy surgery to get rid of antoides or some shit in his throat that was causing sore throats all the time. I was already annoyed like 3 seconds in this movie. His mother babies him like usual and then he does have the surgery and OH NO he almost dies! I wish the bastard had died and the episode ended right there. I'd give them credit for ending it so depressingly and darkly.  They all realize they really love Ray DESPITE THE FACT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE FUCKERS BICKER WITH EACH OTHER SO MUCH TO THE POINT THAT THEY SHOULD NEVER SEE EACH OTHER EVER. Ray and his mother don't know about the fact it was hard getting him out of anesthesia. They end up finding out because the rest of the stupid episode needs to happen. Ray's mother finds out and during Ray and Debra getting ready to bone she comes in and man I didn't realize how creepy this shit was until I wrote this. It's like some Psycho shit in here except she's not a corpse at this point. God damn this television show is awful. Ray and his wife say they like each other and your supposed to be happy about that but no I'm not. These two will be at each others throat over Ray farting at a party in 1986 or some dumb fucking horse shit reason a week later. It finally ends with these assholes at the stupid table being the stupid annoying assholes they usually are.

FINAL VERDICT: I never liked this show ever. It was incredibly annoying. I do not want to see these bitter angry assholes yelling at each other over dumb horse shit. I do not enjoy that. I will never enjoy that. I hope that no one brings a reboot of this show out. I'm sure it's coming though because we ALL need to revisit every single thing from the past no matter how awful it was. Fuck this show right in the ear.