The Final Episode #118: Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers (1989 – 1990)

 

This is a shout out to my Facebook group who somehow still voted in the poll even though I barely use it any more! Thanks! Them posting made members of my discord angry because they felt their votes were being unheard! I’m sorry but everyone gets a vote! This is a democracy! You know we will end up talking about Bonkers soon enough because we have to talk about every single show that appeared on the Disney Afternoon (along with like every single show that appeared on television in the past at the rate I’m going. I’m really amazed I’ve done 118 of these things. I guess they just amuse me and I’ll do it until it doesn’t amuse me any more)

This show actually predates the Disney Afternoon! It ran from March 4th, 1989 to November 19th, 1990. The Disney Afternoon didn’t start until September of that year, with TaleSpin being the big new show to join Adventures of the Gummi Bears, Duck Tales and Chip N Dale. It was originally gonna be a show involving the Rescuers but that guy who ran Disney and made all those shitty Disney sequels decided it should be Chip N Dale in the end. I’m glad he made that decision even though I do not care enough to look up his name. I am a very lazy man. Oh wait I think it was Michael Eisner? I wonder if he has any relation to comic book artist Will Eisner? I don’t know because again I am very very lazy. Anyway Michael Eisner may have made a lot of decisions people don’t like but he did good work with the Disney Afternoon (and I suppose One Saturday Morning too)

Anyway, I’m really surprised it took me this long to do this one (to be fair I was planning on it during the run up to 100 but Christmas came and I wanted to do Christmas themed stuff even though I do not think I’ll be able to find any more Christmas episodes for this series of blog posts. Oh well.) because Chip N Dale might just be one of the first things I was ever into. I was given a VHS tape of Chip N Dale (which I will find again mark my words) by my uncle when I was born thirty eight years ago. I am that old because I can remember things like VHS tapes and rental stores and I don’t shut up about the past because the future is frightening. Anyway that tape had three Chip N Dale cartoons, one involving some chickens that I always skipped, one called the Lone Chipmunks (which is hilarious) and one of the greatest pieces of animation ever made Chips Ahoy where they steal Donald Duck’s little toy boat and hilarity ensues. I do not care if I live to be 183 years old in a weird cyborg body I will always laugh at this one scene. It will never ever get old. I am not mentioning it because Portnoyd will try to make it feel old because he’s a jerk.

Anyway, let’s do a little bit of history on Chip N Dale, because It’s something I feel I ended up missing from the other posts about Disney cartoons. All of those other characters had anywhere from 20 to 40 years of history before any of these shows came out. Chip N Dale started out in a 1943 cartoon called Private Pluto. They were created by an animator called Bill Justice who has one cool fucking name. For the first two cartoons they were a foil for Pluto and then Mickey and Pluto. Then they realized they would be perfect foils for another Disney character, Mr. Donald Duck. With the majority of their appearances being with him. Then in 1956 Disney stopped doing as many shorts and by the mid 1960s were not doing any at all. So Chip N Dale just appeared here and there until Michael Eisner gave them their own show. The show concept and everything else involved with it was created by Tad Stones (Darwking Duck baby!) and Alan Zaslove. I am talking about Alan Zaslove because he has a great name and because he was in the animation business from 1943 to 2002. 59 fucking years! the man was like 15 or 16 in 1943 and left it a tired grizzled old man of 75 in 2002. He worked with UPA (Mr. Magoo), Popeye, Fractured Fairy Tales and George of the Jungle (Jay Ward. I need to do those shows soon), Scooby Doo and Go-Bots (Hanna Barbera) and then Disney stuff. Those are only some of the things he worked on because he worked for 59 fucking years on this stuff! Sadly he passed away in 2019 at the age of 91.

Also I don’t know who decided to make Chip N Dale look like Indiana Jones and Magnum P.I. but I love it. I will give that person a hug and a kiss. A big wet slobbery kiss. One you will never forget no matter how hard you’d like too! Anyway, the show involved Chip N Dale, along side Gadget, Monterery Jack and Zipper. They would solve crimes that ususally involved other animals and the bad guys were usually either Norton Nimnul or Fat Cat. Not always though. I don’t know where to mention this but I will have to finally mention the NES games because I forgot to with Duck Tales and Darkwing Duck. The NES games are fucking great regardless of what discord hooligans may say. This goes for all of the Capcom Disney games, made on the NES or the SNES. I really should start reviewing every NES game because why not?

Anyway, let’s get to the Final Episode entitled “They Shoot Dogs, Don’t They” after the 1935 novel entitled “They Shoot Horses, Don’t They” that has the plot of people trying to win money in a gruelling Depressing era dance marathon (was also made into a movie in 1969). I’ve already seen a horror movie called the Dead Don’t Die that had dance marathons in it and while I liked that movie I think that’s enough dance marathons for one life time. This episode was directed by John Kimball & Bob Zamboni who seemed to be involved with just about every episode of this show. Only needing help from a few other people. The episode was written by Bruce Reid Schaefer, Ken Koonce & David Weimers. Between the three of them they have written for Hercules, X-Men the Animated Series, The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, Goof Troop, Darkwing Duck, Peter Pan and the Pirates, Mummies Alive, Casper, Harry and the Hendersons, Aladdin, Dumb and Dumber, Muppet Babies, Galaxy High School, Alvin and the Chipmunks, 101 Dalmatians The Animated Series, Smurfs and many many more.

The Final Episode involves a dog character named Canina Le Fur (I thought her name was based on an actress because shes a dog actress but I was just thinking of Sasha La Fur from All Dogs Go to Heaven. Anyway she’s voiced by musical theatre legend Carol Channing. I have never seen any of the musical theatre she did because it’s decades old and I am also not fancy enough to be seen in a theatre for musicals. I will be shot on sight. I am not fancy enough for the Grand Ol’ Opry for crying out loud! Anyway she sends a message to the Rescue Rangers to help her because she felt someone is trying to kill her. It’s kinda jarring to hear kill in a cartoon because of the all the WIMPS and WIENERS who can’t handle it these days. Anyway they get there where she’s filming the dog food commercial, the great nation of taxdermia where every animal is able to be hunted, mostly just for one hour. It seems to be for the benefit of one hunter but we will come back to him.

Anyway after she is almost crushed by a giant can of dog food, she introduces the Rescue Rangers to Zsa Zsa Labrador (you know joke on the name of Zsa Zsa Gabor, who I know was more popular but I’ve seen more things her sister Eva Gabor did. What the hell was up with there accent anyway?) whom she thinks is trying to kill her. She tells the Rescue Rangers while in her house about two other attempts on her life. Zsa Zsa Labrador then ties her dog house to a truck and it gets pulled around and ends up off a cliff! You’d think the rest of the episode would be about the entire team getting back to the movie studio but nope, they are already back right after the commercial break, probably showing some cool Ninja Turtles toys that I would pester my parents for. Anyway they realize the studio is empty and rush to find the plane. They get on the plane but while the two bitches fight (lol I am so funny) Monty gets into the action which just causes him and Canina to get knocked off the plane.

They end up finding the boat the Rescue Rangers came in on made by Gadget (a cartoon mouse who has a cult in Russia, No I am not joking, LOOK IT UP!) they end up getting on the Right Side of the Amazing River (or some joke about the River sounding like the Amazon River) and that no ones survived that river! I mean they fall off the Water Fall (after being chased by the goofy looking hunter who clearly has more guns than most Americans…okay some Americans) Monty fixes the boat and they make it to safety after finally stopping the Hunter by making him think he actually killed Canina La Fur and when he brings her on board she bites his ass.

The other Rescue Rangers try to get the hat Canina wears that Zsa Zsa Labrador stole but they end up getting captured and she gets to go to the big award show just to find out that Canina is there and she’s PISSED. She wrecks the shit out of Zsa Zsa Labrador and that’s it. She fogets Montys actual name one last time and Monty complains about that. That is how Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers ended.

FINAL VERDICT: Talk about being all over the place. I do not believe they had a real idea but Carol Channing was down for two episodes with her character and they had to come up with something fast. Kinda all over the place really. I’m not going to say it’s bad, I still had a good time with this episode. Monty and Canina arguing with each other was very fun. It’s just that I don’t even remember this episode and in like 2003 I’d sit down and watch like two hours of old 80s and 90s shows . Alf, Boy Meets World, Sailor Moon and this show. I still remember several episodes that I know would have been more fun than this one. The fact that Chip, Dale, Gadget and Zipper don’t get a lot to do makes for a sad finale. Also I don’t know where to put this but the people who performed the Theme Songs to this show (and every other Disney Afternoon show) are musical gods that I like more than the Beatles and I’m not joking. 

The Final Episode #117: Hang Time (1995 – 2000)

 

It’s been quite a bit of time since I went hog wild on a random television show from the 1950s to the 1990s Final Episode and I feel like getting back to that. I have a list of shows that are related to other shows that I’ve done in the past and I feel like I gotta do these too. Several of these shows do not sound like exciting watches and several of them I have nothing to talk about when it comes to nostalgia so you know what that means. I’m going to pull some garbage straight from my ass hole like some kind of disgusting magician.

I figure I feel like talking about the Rise and Fall of Saturday Morning Cartoons or Saturday Morning Kids Programming. If you are my age or even say 30 years older you’d probably have some fond ass memories of Saturday Morning. It was when they put on all the cartoons. It started more or less sometime in the 1950s. You know Howdy Doody and all that shit. I think Howdy Doody was a real show and was syndicated but it was around the same time so shut up. I’m just blathering before getting to the real point. Anyway those shows would just more or less show old Disney, Looney Tunes, Terrytoons, and probably that fucker Casper. It was like this until Hanna Barbera got into making TV shows and then most of that stuff was by them. And Filmation. It was literally those two for like the 1960s and 1970s until Ruby Spears made their own animation studio.

Still in 1979 the first sign of a crack in the foundation was formed. It was called Nickelodeon. Not something they really had to worry about in 1979. Not until 1991 they really had to worry. Then in 1983 another crack formed in the shape of Mickey Mouse due to the Disney Channel coming out then. They also didn’t have to really worry until it became a Cable channel you didn’t have to go out and get a satellite for. Then in 1992 several cracks formed. Cartoon Network came out and then NBC stopped showing Cartoons and Kids stuff realizing that they could make money from Teenagers by ripping off Saved by the Bell and yes I’m calling these shows a ripoff even if they were created by the same guy. They are the same damn show. I didn’t get into Saved by the Bell until like TBS would start rerunning it forever in like 1996? 1997? 1998? some time when I was close to being a teenager. I was way too into Ninja Turtles and Ghostbusters in 1989 because I was four.

Anyway NBC would show a three hour block of Saved by the Bell and Saved by the Bell ripoffs. Not something I really found all that interesting until I was like again probably eleven. I also never did watch any of the ripoffs in syndication because I don’t think TBS or any other channel showed them. Actually I think they were still on TV at the time and I was clearly more interested in One Saturday Morning in 1997. Another problem that came around the middle of the decade was that a decent amount of the programming had to be educational and informative. Sorry but the large majority of edutainment programming was always forced. Sure The Magic School Bus and Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego were really fun but the majority was like those PSAs at the end of a cartoon that meant it was time to get up and some more Oreos or something.

CBS I believe ended their Saturday Morning stuff sometime in the mid 1990s. Sometime when the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles finally left the airwaves for the first time. (Also I just remembered another show that I feel like I have to do but don’t really want too and will put on the list and yes it’s connected to TMNT) also if I had any talent for video making I would probably be like those YouTubers who make 85 hour videos on things like this. Anyway it was just ABC and having been just been bought by Disney they did get a shot in the arm. Recess, Pepper Ann, Brand Spanking New Doug and other stuff made it a fun thing that I just had to watch at the time. It would change names and stuff but they would pump out new content until like 2006. It just ended in 2011 or 2012. Which is way recent.

Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network and The Disney Channel helped kill Saturday Morning Cartoons but they are now being killed slowly by streaming services. Wouldn’t it be hilarious if streaming literally completely pops because there are so fucking many services and we all go back to cable and renting movies. That would legit be fun but probably not. We do not get to enjoy fun in 2023. Anyway back in 1992 NBC created TNBC and finally we are getting to the fucking point because in 1995 they put Hang Time on the boob tube. In 2023 I watched it so I can discuss it with portnoyd who probably never watched it.

As you know with television programs I did not watch as a child or even in the insuring years of my life I will talk about two episodes for this blog post. The one thing I will say about this show is that it’s kinda weird to see a show literally have three Final Episodes one after another. Like the last three episodes of this show could have easily been the end episode of them. One of them was even a fucking clip show and no if I do not have to I will not discuss another fucking clip show. The clip show wasn’t even the last episode either! Still I am skipping it because I do not want to talk about it.

I think when it comes to tv shows based around high school Saved by the Bell is the only one I can think of that I enjoyed. Well, I also liked Student Bodies which was just Canadian Saved By The Bell but still stories about Proms do not interest me. Unless it has like some kind of crazy horror movie connection. I’ll watch Prom Night but if I have to watch another story where some girl goes BUT PROM IS SO IMPORTANT I’ll eat my hat. And that means I’ll have to buy a damn hat to eat! Saved by the Bell had like 82 proms but every one of these shows seemed to save Prom for the end of the show. Yet Saved by the Bell is still more creative and fun.

Anyway I think we already have a new contender for the bottom list because holy shit this show stinks out loud. The characters are all unmemorable, the plots are all unmemorable. Dick Butkis the fucking football star was literally the best actor in the fucking show! That’s not good AT ALL. Oh, and whoever taped this off TV originally did aterrible job. One of the set ups for a joke is missing (Literally one character ends up talking about how hes dating a supermodel but they never show him making a date or anything! The joke ends up being the supermodel was a model in 1949! The lady who he ends up going to prom with was literally Betsy Palmer more famous as Jason Voorhees’ mom from the Friday the 13th movies. She’s also totally the best part of it. Oh and another plot point never gets fixed. I don’t know if its because the person didn’t record it or what.

Anyway we start with the three girl characters who apparently do a lot of vaulting because that’s a gym activity women can do?!? The guys do basketball and I guess the girls vault. I do not know for sure and you should be able to tell that after I finish this show I will not be returning. I knew there was a reason I never watched these shows in the first fucking place. Curiosity gets the better of you in the end. They do the normal shit like argue about what they will do at prom but here’s another problem. These kids can’t act worth a fuck. I’m not Dustin Diamond was a master thespian up there with Laurence Olivier or something but you know what he could out act every single one of the people who regularly appeared on this show and yes that includes Dick Butkis. He actually got laughs at least.

So here comes the plot point that may not even have an ending. You see one of the girls I’m gonna call her Tiffany because I don’t care enough to look up her real name and her mom sent her shitty clothes to the thrift store!!!! It had all the prom money in there!!!! The girls then go to the thrift store and find the shirt but no money! The next scene literally has them at the prom. I’m going to just pretend this is how it aired and not because the person taping it off the TV was probably 14 at the time because it’s really funny. Oh and I forgot to mention that the stuck up girl ended up having to date a nerd due to hi-jinx! also more hi-jinx made the black guy have to end up dating a girl nerd!!! and Yes the two nerds get together because no one was really trying to break the mold here with this show. This was season six of a show that clearly ran out of whatever ideas they had in season one.

There’s also a tornado and the prom is ruined! Only the girls save the day by singing Gloria Gaynor’s song I Will Survive! Woo! Prom Saved!!!!!!!!!!! I know I’m 38 watching this goofy shit for teenagers but trust me even at the time I would have been like “I’m going to watch a Saved by the Bell rerun instead”. Trust me this show would not have won me over at any time in my life. Everyone dances and they say they were happy to enjoy this day because they got to enjoy each others company. This could have been the final episode and I could have gone off to do something else but nope.

The Final Episode of this show was called “Graduation on Three” and appeared on our Television screens for the first time on December 16, 2000. Nearly one year after the Y2K bug had destroyed all computers! Yes I made a Y2K bug joke. I’m not bringing my A game to this material, sorry. What little A game material I have is not being wasted by this show. Anyway the characters are graduating and OH NO one of them is worried they will never see the others again. The boys also try to prank the coach. If you are using a well worn plot like that you either need good comedic acting or a nice twist on it. This show does not have the good comedic acting and I doubt it will have a twist.

I’ll be nice and say the Coach being in on the pranks no matter how hard they try might have been a twist in 2000. It probably wasn’t but I don’t like being that mean to a tv show. Anyway they keep trying to prank him and failing! Oh and two of the boring non discript boys are leaving to go to Arizona! how will this make Tiffany feel! She’s sad and thinks she wont see her high school friends ever again which in most cases you don’t! This was just like the California Dreams ending except that did go into the Future to show us stuff!

Tiffany is sad and runs off to the bathroom and the other two girls go to cheer her up and let on that they are worried about CHANGES in life!!! Life is one big fucking change after another so get used to it twinkle toes! They will be away from their friends and boyfriends! SUCH SERIOUS DRAMA! They then graduate and have a final goodbye with the coach who they finally bpranked! It wasn’t the boys tho! The shitty mean rich girl did it!!! She was also the team manager apparently! I love all of this Hang Time lore!!!!!!

FINAL THOUGHTS: This show was not good at all. I wasn’t all that amazed by California Dreams but it was better than this. Where will City Guys rank? Who the hell knows but we will find out soon enough. Wonderful.

Let’s Discuss Every Adult Swim Show Oh God Why Didn’t I Realize They Put Out So Much Part Nineteen million and Two: More Pick Ups Because Why Not Make This Even Longer?

 In an attempt to make this go on as long as humanly possible I decided to talk about the pick up shows Adult Swim picked up. Not only because of that but because I wanted to talk about them. I figured why not. I just now have like 78 or 79 shows to now talk about. I did not know adult swim had that many. I will likely be talking about these on the afterlife internet twenty years after my spirit has left my body. Anyway, today is interesting because it’s going to be about the four most popular pick ups they ever had. Two of those shows clearly got brought back in different ways because of their newfound popularity on adult swim. I’m pretty sure you have to know about these shows so I will be discussing how I felt about them when they originally aired (because being a cool guy I watched all of these shows even when Family Guy and King of the Hill got moved to Tuesday because Fox is and was ran by morons. Anyway let’s get on with this shit show!

This is a show you either love and find hilarious or you want to find Seth McFarlande or however you spell his stupid name and kick him right in his dick or something. There’s not much in between you either find this show hilarious or incredibly annoying. Personally I found it hilarious when they had it on Fox for three seasons and I thought it was still pretty funny when they brought it back for a few more seasons. I believe the first episode of Season 8 (which was that murder mystery episode where that news reporter lady was the murderer) was the last one I watched. I mean I really liked that episode but I just stopped watching for like seasons. Some times I’d see an episode and be like “wow that’s not very good” and some where I was like “wow they at least tried something new there?”. There were funny moments but they clearly had run out of gas and they really like abusing fourth wall breaking/meta comedy like there’s no tomorrow and you know how I feel like that stuff should be using sparingly and subtly. You can say Family Guy is a lot of things but it is not subtle at all, probably once or twice and those two times were an accident.

I have now watched two episodes from Season Twenty of Family Guy. I do not know if they are the newest but they are new enough for me to talk about. I watched one where they parodied the life stories of Music people, you know like the Doors or Elton John. I thought it was pretty good. I also watched an episode where they made fun of HBO shows like Game of Thrones and Succession and since I do not watch fancy television for grown ups I had no idea what any thing was. Anyway I enjoyed the first episode I watched enough to actually check out more of Newer Family Guy.

I have to amend something from earlier in this article. This is how ramshackle this joint is. It wasn’t King of the Hill and Family Guy that they put on Tuesdays it was King of the Hill and Futurama. Or maybe it was all three. I know there was a time when they put them on Tuesday but the Simpsons (which let’s be fair was something they should have let die around that time anyway) Anyway I remember hearing about Futurama and being like WOW THE SIMPSONS MAN HAS A NEW SHOW and watching it and being pretty entertained. It was something I kept watching even when it was interrupted by Football (the worst sport) and shoved on to different days. I even bought the DVD sets. I’m pretty sure I watched most of season four because of those sets. Fox treated this like a red headed step child because I believe it didn’t hit those Simpsons numbers so quickly. The Simpsons is something most people can enjoy and even relate to. Sci Fi is something a lot of people may just not care about but that didn’t matter to the dunderheads at Fox. However the nice respectful people at adult swim helped this show find its footing which lead too four movies, one of which I probably would watch again. Not to say they were the worst thing ever it’s just I don’t think they were that amazing or worth my rapidly decreasing time on this planet rewatching. I did like Bender’s Big Score (the first movie) enough that I would watch it again.

Now comes the Comedy Central years, I watched I think the first two or three episodes. I do remember liking the first episode but I do know that like just about everyone else the Susan Boyle (remember her? Of course you don’t I barely remember her and my brain is literally stationed in the fucking past) but she’s a boil on Leela? It may have had that classic SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY bit but that’s still the worst episode of this show that I’ve seen. Remember grabbing some flash in the pan reality tv show person and putting her in your TV show that will probably be re-watched in the future because they are not that memorable and will probably confuse the people watching it at the time. I also remember seeing the third episode and going “Man that a whole lot of meh” . I stopped watching but did end up seeing two episodes I really liked later on. I do want to see the entire Comedy Central run but I do hear it’s very hit or miss.

And now since they are rebooting everything, Matt Groening got sad and missed Futurama and 10 years later we have a new season on Hulu. Also Disney might have problems with RONNIE DESANTIS now but I think they should thank God or something that they had Donald Trump in office when they literally bought Fox. I get the feeling that if a Democrat was in office they would not own Fox and thus many many new things to reboot and probably tarnish the reputation of. Also if you hate Disney because some anti-woke YouTubers told you to then you have to blame a guy you probably love for giving them even more things to be able to reboot. Thankfully the Futurama episode I just watched was pretty funny and a worthwhile piece of entertainment. It makes me want to watch all of the Comedy Central years and the new 10 episode season. So I’m gonna say they still have the magic. And the new writer people are pretty good too.

When Fox came crawling back to Mr Seth Farlande to put Family Guy on their channel again (after literally failing with 900 different shows. It was kind of amazing how many they put out and had fail in that short amount of time. Maybe one day I will review them when I am a half cyborg computer in the year 3987. That would be really cool actually.) They sweetened the deal and let him do another cartoon and that cartoon would be American Dad. He was all gung ho about making a cartoon making fun of conservatives. I’m not saying there’s not a ton of material there and not saying I haven’t mocked them either but it was not very good. I can’t tell a lie but for the first two seasons when it was politically heavy it was just not very good. I remember watching them and being disappointed (I had nothing else to do and just watched them with my parents) but around season three something happened. They stopped doing a lot of the political stuff and just got weird with the show and it became a favorite of mine. I do not think this show would have lasted if they kept doing the political stuff. However the stuff that just went gonzo was so much fun and I would watch (admittedly off and on for a while) this show and very much enjoy it. It did move to TBS which was a really weird move. I mean I watched tons of TBS as a kid but I don’t think it even comes up in our cable box anymore. It was changed to Peachtree TV and then just vanished. I have now watched a new episode of this show and uhhhhh It’s not a great one that’s for sure. Some plastic surgeon steals Stan’s face because he hates him for getting a house and a family. Roger goes into a sinkhole to get an apple back. Not the prime gold material this show can do thats for sure. Still I’m not calling the entire of season twenty (despite the fact it came out in 2005 how the hell does that work?) bad or something, just that I certainly did not pick the best episode to view. That’s for sure.

This is a do over for me. I’ll get to that in a second. I always waffle back and forth if I should even do a Final Episode on King of the Hill. Yes, it started in 1997 and I will probably make exceptions for shows that ended in like 2005 if it started in 1999 or before, but King of the Hill was on for thirteen years. Something that legit amazes me. The Final Episode is for stuff from the 1950s to the 1990s. 2010 just feels way too modern for me to do an post on. I guess I will just have to ask the discord and also portnoyd if its okay.

Now for a boring pointless paragraph where I talk about something I did in the past. In 2003, at the tender age of eight teen, instead of trying to talk to girls (or anyone really) I decided that I needed to open up a website with someone (who now hates me!) and it was dedicated to discussing old pop culture. Kinda like I do now except way worse. You see I had become a fan of the site Whatever-Dude that did the same thing. Review movies and tv shows from the 1980s and 1990s. You see I loved the guy who wrote under the name B (who now I hear is a bit of a jerk and stuff. I guess The Dark Knight was right, you really do die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain) and all I did was just treat the stuff negatively just like he did. It worked for him because I guess that’s the person he is but it does not work for me and finding the few remaining posts from that site (and the second attempt) still around on the internet is one of the few things to make me cringe.

You should know that I love this stuff. Okay that’s not the case for many of these things now but it was for sure back then. I made angry posts about the Care Bears and Sailor Moon and Goosebumps and King of the Hill. I clearly love these things. King of the Hill was never the most hilarious show when I was younger (it clearly works better as an adult) but it was carefree and entertaining and just plain really likeable. I wouldn’t have watched something for at least six or seven seasons if I didn’t get something out of it. I can force myself through a movie but I don’t rush to get to a TV show I didn’t at least somewhat enjoy. I do enjoy it more now as an adult and want to rewatch it (I really need to pick a show and watch it through to the end because man I have a lot of them)

This is just a big rambling post where I could have put all the information in one or two sentences but didn’t. I was angry at the time that the site was deleted and hacked but now I must thank that person if he ever somehow pops up in these comments again. KRAP (the website) was terrible. I apologize to Michael Judgement (aka Mike Judge) and everyone who created those things I angrily yelled at because it was 2003 internet and everyone had to act that way. I just wish I knew what I talked about at that time so I could talk about it again in a more fair and honest manner that works for the person I am now. I love this stuff I might get angry and obscene at some of it but I wouldn’t talk about any of it if I didn’t get enjoyment out of the majority of it. I might poke fun at things but out of love instead of out of anger.

With that pointless crap out of the way let’s discuss the show King of the Hill. King of the Hill is the life story of Hank Hill, his family, his friends, his neighbours, his abusive dad, all of them. It’s very amusing and funny and laid back and very low key. It’s also at times pretty darn weird. However no matter how weird it did get it was still done in a laid back and low key way which makes it a very different show from not only every show on this list but also Mike Judge’s other show Beavis and Butthead. I like that everything he touches does feel somewhat different to each other but you could easily see that they are done by the same guy. That’s hard to do!

The episode I watched involved Dale and Joseph. Dale was clearly the best character on the show (RIP Johnny Hardwick!) and the episode was fine. He end s up in the nut house because of course he does. This was already done in another episode where Bill AND Dale ended up in a mental institution and was much funnier than this one. When you are more or less re-using plots ideas it’s probably time to give up. Anyway the episode was decent enough but not a classic. Of course since we live in a time when Hollywood really does not want to do a single thing that could be considered creative we are getting a reboot of King of the Hill. What I’ve seen of the Beavis and Butthead reboot is pretty good but I just don’t think we need another reboot. We also do not need some of the ideas they are bouncing around for King of the Hill. Apparently Bill might end up with dementia because you know that’s a really good goldmine for comedy. The saddest thing I think that can happen to you happens to Bill. Maybe I’m not in love with that idea because it’s already happened to three people in my life that I cared about. Just a depressing concept that you don’t need to pile onto Bill. Poor bastards life got too depressing at time in the original series. The fact Johnny Hardwick was perfect as Dale and is going to be hard to replace. It all just makes me not care about the writers and actors s trike and I do think everyone should get a good honest pay it’s just I can’t get excited for Marvel/DC/and Now Anime movie #403204 or reboot #13,000. Like even after enjoying the Futurama reboot I STILL think we have too many reboots.

There. I went over the four most popular pick ups for adult swim. I think we have two more pick ups I want to talk about right now for the next time but what will be the other two!!!!! WHO KNOWS MAYBE EVEN SOME MORE ANIME!!! I just know I have at least 74 or 75 more shows to fucking talk about!!!!

Let’s Review Every Adult Swim Show Part 12,059: The Pick Ups

 I decided that the best idea right now was to discuss some shows Adult Swim picked up from other stations. Some of these shows were one season only, some three seasons, hell some of these shows they helped become even more popular and revive them like Family Guy and Futurama. Yes, those will get discussed but not this time. I felt it was more important to discuss some of the less popular shows. The ones I remember because I was a sad child who watched Fox enough to get to see the first two seasons of The PJs!

I have to be completely honest in the fact that I only decided to talk about the pick ups because I honestly looked at the list of shows they picked up to show and saw that there were several I was never going to get to talk about but I would really like too. The PJs is actually something I’d probably end up covering for a Final Episode. The show had three seasons, only like 44 episodes (and I think 3 that were unaired originally) The other reason was that I wanted to see if these shows still held up. Everyone on twitter goes on about how comedy ages like milk and I was curious. Still any even vaguely comedic thing that came between 1950 and 2005 was funnier than History of the World Part II. Nick Kroll won’t ever get a chance to age like milk because he’s fucking terrible to start with. Anyway enough blabbing I did re-watch one episode and honestly had a very fun time with it. I laughed out loud several times and I can’t wait to re-watch more. The PJs was a stop motion claymation cartoon created by Eddie Murphy and I think the guy from the Daily Show. I don’t know I never watched the Daily Show. American Politics is way too depressing for me even when being made fun of. Anyway this was the daily life of a Superintendant working in the Projects. All kinds of fun goofy characters in this show. I’m glad that I can tell YOUNG LITTLE CLAW OF 1999 that he’d still get a kick out of this show in 2023. He’d probably be surprised he ended up living that long.

Ah man this brings me back to the days of Teletoon. Late Night Teletoon. Teletoon was a Canadian TV channel that showed all kinds of oddball cartoons. Didn’t matter if the cartoon lasted 2 weeks or never ended (Like the Simpsons) this channel would show it. It had stuff like Duckman, Cybersix, Downtown, The Simpsons (and like only the first four seasons for some reason). Weird stuff from Canada and Japan. It lost it’s lustre but for it’s like first eight or so years man I would watch it like there was no tomorrow. The Oblongs was one of the shows they would show despite it being only around 13 episodes of a show. Adult Swim showed this show and man. I’ve got to give credit to Will Ferrell (who is without a doubt one of the most uneven comedy men to ever exist. I will seriously stand up for the Anchorman movies, Talladega Nights, Old School, Barbie and Step Brothers but everything else ranges from not good at all to at best okay. The man can be very amusing but he needs either a small role (like Old School) or a director to tell him to calm his ass down.) He’s pretty good as a voice actor for Bob Oblong. All of the voice cast is very good. The characters are all weird dis-formed people that live in a shithole called the Valley where rich people (UGH) get to live in the Hills. Anyway, I had a good time re-watching the episode. Some of the humor doesn’t land any more but some of it is still pretty good. Better than anything Nick Kroll will ever do. No I’m never going to let him or his garbage go. The man ruined Mel Brooks’ good name and the name of good comedy anywhere!!!

If there was a single show I could have kept from being cancelled it’s probably this one. I loved this show when yes I would watch episodes of it on Teletoon late night. Before they turned it into Teletoon at Night in like 2008. I remember the days of Pond Life and Captain Star BITCHES. It was a really neat channel and showed me all the weird shit you can do with animation. This was a show that like the Oblongs appeared on The WB (IN MY DAY IT WAS UPN DAMNIT) and was cancelled in a season after they spent way too much money on both shows. This was a very likable show with very likable characters created by I hope two very likable men, Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein. They worked on the Simpsons from I believe Season 4 to about Season 9 so they are writers of COMEDY GOLD just there. This show follows the life of slacker Andy French who wants to become an animator. They had a ten year plan even worked out. It was a shame it only got 13 episodes but damn they were a really great 13 episodes. Very amusing show and who couldn’t want to hear Brian Poshen’s voice? or however you spell his name. I’m too lazy to look it up.

Anime. It’s something so many people out there love to an insane degree and there’s also a lot of people who hate it with a fiery passion. Me? I’m in the middle. There were many anime series I loved as a child and want to re-watch and no matter how they hold up I will always have a fondness for them. Mostly the memories of that time in my life the show reminds me of. There was a very small amount of time where I watched several series to a conclusion. That’s where I kinda get annoyed with anime. Anime series can range from 7 episodes to like 1,000. I’m sorry there’s only one show I care about enough to watch a thousand episodes of and that is the soap opera Passions. A lot of those series MUST have an insane amount of just filler. Yes I know Soap Operas are like 98% filler but shut up. It’s only one of them anyway! Still there are a lot of animes that I do enjoy and a lot of one I will watch when they finish (I’m looking at Spy X Family and My Hero Academia) and probably have 300 episodes at least. Fooly Cooly or FLCL is only 6 episodes and I really liked it in like 2004? I’m going to guess around there. I cannot believe it’s almost 20 years since then. I am very old and I need my Metamucil. I’m sadly going to have to say that this is the show that did not hold up. I enjoyed the weirdness and maybe even some of the comedy at 19 years old but right now as a grumpy almost 38 year old man? I find the weirdness to be forced by a person who is like THIS IS WEIRD MANNNN and not someone who clearly should have been in a mental hospital instead of making anime weird, which is the kind of weird I enjoy now. The comedy is also way too much and very obnoxious. I will not be re-watching any more but I will hold the memories of watching this and talking to people about it online to my chest. The memories are what is important.

Three shows that I still think is funny and one that I just feel is obnoxious and trying to hard today. All of them still better than History of the World Part II. AND YES I WILL RUN THE JOKE OF ME HATING THAT THING INTO THE GROUND WORSE THAN NICK KROLL DID.

The History of the World Part II is a giant pile of shit and I hate it.

 

I must preface this with saying that I love MELVIN KAMINSKY. also known as Mel Brooks, I believe I owe my sense of humor to him. Him and The Simpsons. I mean there’s a lot of other things but those are the two that really worked into my sense of whats funny. When I say I love him I mean it. I love every movie he made from The Producers in 1968 to Robin Hood Men in Tights in 1993. I did not like Dracula Dead and Loving It. I did not even like that as a child but still between 1968 and 1993 he made 11 comedy movies that I think are pretty swell and at least 9 of them are comedy classics. Like stuff that holds up so much. He also helped create Get Smart which was a pretty darn good 1960s sitcom if you ask me.

Anyway in 1981 he created The History of the World Part I. A very funny movie lampooning several historical events. In 2022 Hulu got him back….and also brought in Nick Kroll who just might be the least funniest human being on this planet. Jewish people had like seven trillion years of being funny as hell and Nick Kroll just comes in and ruins it. It’s very unfair of him to do that but still he just had to do it. So yeah this is why a LOT of comedy does not work for me these days and I’ll get to each reason.

1.) It tries way too hard: Something about it just tries way too hard with the simple easiest jokes (and even fails with them) oh Princess Anastasia likes a tiktok like thing. Yeah, just go with tiktok. Why bother trying to learn something about the actual person when you can just make fun of tiktok? You know that thing that will stay forever and ever. Why try to make a historical joke about Anastasia (that I probably wouldn’t even get but hey that’s that) but there’s a lot to go with. They just do a tiktok joke instead of something about the woman who pretended to be her. I guess that’s just too hard so LOL TIKTOK SHES SO VAIN LOLLLLL I SHIT MY PANTS HOH HOH

2.) It runs every single joke into the ground: Okay in this series there’s a running bit about the Civil War. The one joke it has is LOL ULYSSES S GRANT WAS A GIANT DRUNK WHO WAS DRUNK EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY HIS BLOOD WAS WHISKY HO YEAH LOL IM LAUGHIN SO HARD. Okay to be fair after a few parts they bring in a trio of loser soldiers that do something I guess. I’m going to be honest and say I didn’t see an episode. I thought I had watched it but I did not and not all the money in the world will get me to watch it. the two jokes are not well done and they run them into the ground. Another thing they run into the ground is the Shirley Chisohlm sitcom parody. They even do the hackneyed LOL YOU GOTTA BE AT TWO PLACES AT ONCE. I’ve watched a lot of situational comedy in my life and I cannot think of a time where that plot was used. I’m sure it had to be or was it just used in sitcom parody plots? I really can’t think of it right now but that whole thing has to go away right now. Forever. It is dead. Pick another supposed trope of sitcoms instead please. Sometimes one joke on a subject is enough and you don’t have to run it into the ground. They make a joke about a white guy taking Rosa Parks seat at a convention and she goes “Not doing this shit again” and leaves. You know what I would have given them credit if they didn’t fuck it in the ass and bring it back several more times.

3.) Meta Comedy: Before you come screaming BUT MEL BROOKS DID META COMEDY BEFORE IT WAS BIG! Yep, and you know what the man did it correctly. Meta Comedy, or Fourth Wall Breaking stuff DOES NOT FUCKING WORK IF ITS EVERY SECOND FUCKING JOKE. That stuff has to take you off GUARD like you don’t expect it to come. That stuff HAS to come out of nowhere. When it’s overused (which so much comedy of today does over us it) it takes away the charm of it all. It’s just not done properly and that’s sad because some of the best jokes EVER have been fourth wall breaking jokes.

4.) A lot of the jokes aren’t good to even begin with: You remember how John Lennon said the Beatles where Bigger than Jesus right? So how about you make the 12 Apostles just like the Beatles! Funny stuff right!!!!! No, that’s not even a good joke to begin with (and yes they run it in to the ground like there’s no fucking tomorrow)

5.) Nick Kroll tries way too hard: Period. He was one of the writers of this series and I don’t think he’s very good at comedy writing. He’s also not very good at comedy acting either. Some people were good at one of those. Some where good at both. Nick is bad at both. He literally tries way too hard to be the centre of attention and it just’s obnoxious. I do not like seeing him at all and I probably will not see another thing he makes because he’s not very good.

6.) A lot of it seems to play it way too safe: Mel Brooks did not play it safe. Mel Brooks made jokes about every single topic. I can understand maybe toning down on say the Gay Jokes because you don’t feel you can make a good one but well here’s a great opportunity. You know the Kama Sutra? Yeah well they make a joke about it being the Kama SOUPtra because the guy who was actually likable in the awful The Eternals wants to get people aroused and have them enjoy a nice soup! How about going hog wild with the sex stuff or something? I don’t understand how soup and sex work together but whatever.

7.) It wastes talented peoples time: I just can’t believe how many talented people got roped into this. If you were to see the list of people you’d find at least one or two of them that you liked in something else. There IS something sadder than a bad comedy. It’s seeing someone you know can be a damn hoot and a half being forced to preform bad comedy. Not cool. The guy from Spin City that I watched that show for (well him and the Mayor guy) gets a role here and he’s completely wasted too. The poor guy doesn’t even have that many roles I can think of but nope just wastes him as Peter in the Jesus stuff.

8.) Forced references to other Mel Brooks movies: They had a pretty good reference to Blazing Saddles. Then they just jammed in one from the Producers (Nick Kroll I hope will get punched in the head when he meets Gene Wilder in heaven. That’s all I will say) Then Spaceballs and then the Walk Like This joke that I’m sure was used many times. Maybe I’m just tired of seeing a reboot going HEY LOOK REMEMBER THIS THING FROM THE ORIGINAL MOVIE YEAH WE BROUGHT IT BACK!!!! so I might be just biased. Couldn’t you have made jokes based around those things instead of just using actual lines from those movies?

9.) I get wanting to make jokes about political historical things but can we at least make them just a tad not so much on the nose? Just a little bit. For me. Please?

10.) It does not feel genuine. No matter how cheesy, bad, unfunny, or just honestly mean spirited and offensive comedy of the past got it at least felt genuine to me. Like the people behind it believed in the jokes. Like they really WANTED to make this. No matter if it was Going Beserk or some random episode of The Nanny. They cared. I don’t think anyone in this series cared. They were hired by Hulu to shit out more content for the streaming services. I’m seriously thinking that Portnoyd is right when he says that we have enough content to never need any more again.

I’m gonna get a bit real with those who read this blog. I have weird anxiety issues. Like I’m afraid that I’m gonna lose my eyesight or my hearing and make it really harder to enjoy things like movies and that. I’ve been trying to pick better things to watch. Not gonna stop watching boring movies in the middle or anything but I’m going to at least try to make it so that I do not watch things that frustrate me. This frustrated me. an Incredible amount. I laughed twice at this, both times when Mel Brooks showed up. All I know is that I’m done with any reboot of any comedy thing that I like. I might try a reboot of some action movie from the 1990s or something. I’ll still watch the horror reboots (most of the best reboots were horror related) This is clearly the worst thing Mel Brooks has ever had his name on (the fact he’s like 187 years old is a big reason I believe he did not have much to do with it. That and the fact I laughed twice. Mel would have made me laugh more than that. I laughed more then that at Dracula Dead and Loving It. Yeah that also has a lot of the same flaws that I mentioned her but at least it felt genuine. Anyway please do not watch this series.

Let’s Discuss As Many Movies As Possible Part 4. The Last One Was Actually Part 3 I think. I didn’t really check. Who cares. It’s just more Movie Reviews.

 It’s been like two whole weeks since I’ve talked about any thing on this blog and my feeling is that if you don’t feel at least somewhat up to talking about something you shouldn’t do it. You gotta care at least a little about talking about something. I know my posts are full of terrible grammar and poor jokes but I know they would be even worse if I wasn’t in the mood to talk about something. Still I now have four wild ass movies to talk about.

12.) Hellraiser: Judgment (2018)

I’ve finally finished this franchise. I’m a weird person who needs to every single movie in a franchise. I don’t know why. I know most sane people pretty much gave up on this series once it went Direct to Video but not me. I watched all eleven of these movies. Most of which are very bad. This one is better than the last one but is still a pretty bad movie. It just didn’t make me angry. This movie involves cops going after a serial killer and the Cenobites doing something. You could kinda cut them out of this movie and you wouldn’t really miss much. Like change one thing and you’d have a bad movie but one I would probably never watch. The Cenobites just feel pointless and they have a bunch of new ones and I really don’t like most of the new ones. They don’t have that weird Cenobite feel to them. I did like one new character called The Auditor. Anyway the movie brings in some new characters and doesn’t really develop them. One new character shows up and ends up sending Pinhead to become human? I don’t know. It happens so fast because they clearly wanted to end this movie. It’s done so quickly and terribly. The other plot involves a bunch of Cops looking for a serial killer who does religious shit. I forget the killers name and I don’t care enough. This stuff is actually kind of interesting until they just JAM in the fact the main cop is actually the KILLER! I mean doesn’t that come off as a hackneyed idea in 2018? I can’t even think of many movies where that was done but I’m sure it happened. It also happened better than here because it just pops in at the end like the writer was like OH MY GOD THATS THE BEST IDEA EVER and didn’t fix any of the earlier stuff. Still I actually liked the actors in this movie and they did try their hardest. I would probably put this around the middle of the series even though it’s still a pretty lazy movie. I would comment on how people just calling the newest movie from last year JUST ANOTHER HELLRAISER to watch this one. At least that one felt like it was a damn Hellraiser movie!

14.) The Omen IV: The Awakening (1991)

Holy shit. This movie was fucking hilarious. I know it’s supposed to be horror but I could not stop laughing. The kid in this movie just plays it so meanly that I couldn’t stop laughing. The weird music cues. Just the goofy shit people did in the film. The acting (except for Michael Lerner) is over the top and really bad. But in a beautiful way. Actually the kid does a pretty good job. Anyway this movie is the fourth movie in the Omen franchise and was made for television in 1991. Probably for NBC. or Maybe CBS. This clearly wasn’t an ABC Made for TV movie! (That’s a joke people. I don’t know or care what channel made this.) It is legit bonkers from start to finish. A woman starts thinking her daughter is something more. And she finds out that she’s the ANTICHRIST! Her real father was Damien from the previous films! This movie also ends on a downer note! I love when horror does that sometimes! Anyway I recommend this movie to everyone. It is a must see.

15.) Mission Kill

Action International Pictures was created by David Winters sometime in the 1980s. I didn’t have to tell you that because this is literally the most 80s 80s action film you could watch. Robert Ginty plays a man who was bringing guns over the border into a civil war to help the renegades. His friend played by Cameron “Fine I’ll Show Up In Your Damn Movie For 15 Minutes” Mitchell is killed and he desires revenge! He teams up with the renegades and BLOWS SHIT UP. Man this movie was a lot of fun. Yes the plot has been used about 12,986,520 times in movies. I don’t even think there are that many movies ever but somehow the plot has been done THAT much. What makes this movie is the actors. All of them are clearly having a great time. Robert Ginty is an underrated action hero. Cameron Mitchell might have been a hard guy to get along with but he does well with this role and you feel bad when he dies even though he was one in the movie for fifteen minutes. The guys who play the bad guys are so much fun to watch. There’s also the guy who was friends with Jerry Seinfeld’s dad in Seinfeld. You know the weird looking guy whos pen someone in the cast got obsessed with. I think it was Jerry. Anyway it was great fun.

16.) The Chill Factor

I think this was one of the last movies Action International Pictures had something to do with before David Winters fired David A Prior and started making movies even I don’t care about. It’s hard for me not to be somewhat interested in at least one movie you made afterwards. Actually I lied there is one movie he made that I want to see called Can’t Stop Dancing. I want to see it because thats like the worst title for a movie ever. Anyway this movie involves people driving around on skidoos and one of them gets hurt. They decide to stay at a cabin that was once ran as a summer camp or something! Something involving Satanists also happens! They didn’t really clear up the plot here very well! Despite that I did enjoy this because I enjoyed the characters. Yeah they should have been more clear with the plot (even with damn narration clearly added in) and it totally takes a while to get going but it’s home grown independent charms got me and I enjoyed watching it. It won’t rock your world but if you enjoy cheap and cheesy 90s horror movies you might have a good time with this one.

Another four movies. Three of them being enjoyable watches in my estimation. I really don’t know what I should say to end this all. So I’ll just leave. Bye!

Let’s Watch Every Movie Ever Made Even Though It’s Not Possible Really Part 4. I think. Maybe Part 5. I dunno.

 Yep. We are back after almost a week of no discussion with TWO new blog posts! Wild huh! Anyway I watched four movies I had never seen before and you know the drill, It’s time to talk about those four movies. So let’s get to it before we all get gray hair and wrinkles! And I mean face wrinkles not those dog toys from the 1980s that were like Pound Puppies. Yes This is the worst opening paragraph to anything you will ever read. I am proud I was able to do that.

9.) Project A (1983)

Whenever you are unsure of what to watch, Jackie Chan is always a good bet. I’m almost through his filmography and this isn’t even the only movie he’s been a part of on this list. Anyway this movie’s plot is very uh all over the place. He starts out a sailor, than has to be a police man, then quits being a police man, then messes up stuff involving the police, then fights gangsters, then becomes a sailor again and fights pirates. It’s all over the place. It’s actually quite funny because no matter what the plot of the other stories were they were kept simple. Although talking about a plot of a Jackie Chan movie is quite stupid because you aren’t there for a plot you’re there to watch Jack Chan whip ass like there was no other and he whips an INCREDIBLE amount of ass in this film. It’s pretty amazing to watch. Sammo Hung is also really good comedic relief who can also kick ass when needed. I might have to check out more of HIS movies now. Who could say no to a movie entitled Enter the Fat Dragon?!?

10.) Deadlier Than the Male (1967)

Now this was an absolute hoot and a half of a movie. It’s like James Bond but starring detective Bulldog Drummond from another different series of books. This one has him fighting a guy who has a ton of beautiful sexy sixities babes running around killing big name people like oil tycoons and stuff. Why? So the bad guy can make money! I must say that I was surprised by this movie. It’s a lean, mean but not green (that’s the next movie!) spy thriller. It never gets too bogged down with being to serious or plot heavy. Just a good ol’ time at the movie theatre. Richard Johnson is incredibly entertaining as Hugh “Bulldog” Drummond and he was even gonna be James Bond before Sean Connery showed up! I wish they had made more of these movies. Everyone works incredibly well in this movie and it’s a very amusing action packed affair!

11.) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023)

This is the second of the Jackie Chan movies. Yep, Jackie Chan is the new Splinter and he’s kinda actually great as him. Even if he still isn’t great with English despite making movies in Hollywood since like I dunno the 1980s? Doesn’t matter because he’s a lot of fun. In fact this entire movie is a lot of fun. I love the animation style (which was from the same company and team of people that did The Mitchells Vs. the Machines which was a really great movie too). I actually really enjoyed the fact that the characters were played by actual Teens this time. I enjoyed seeing so many mutants from the original show. This is probably the best TMNT movie since the original film in 1990. Maybe since TMNT II: Secret of the Ooze. Totally better than the Michael Bay sequel that had that shithead as Casey Jones. Oh god he was so fucking bad. Anyway the only real problem I had with this movie is that it has a lot of references to new popular things that will probably date this movie in ten or so years but hey It’s still a lot of fun in the here and now.

12.) Some Girls Do

Yep. I liked Deadlier than The Male so much I decided to watch the sequel a few days later! Anyway this movie was not as good as the first but still definetly worth a looksee if you enjoy this kinda movie. The problems I had was well, they changed actors for the bad guy character. The guy in the first movie was SO much better. Elke Sommer and her henchlady were also way more fun to watch too. Also the comic relief character was pretty annoying where as the comic relief character in the first movie was pretty good. Still this movie has fembots and Richard Johnson just being a cool badass mother fucker. Why do we call people who are cool and bad ass mother fuckers? You shouldn’t fuck your mother and you shouldn’t be fucking mothers. It’s weird. Stop it. Uh, where was I? Oh yeah, this movie was still a lot of fun but they didn’t quite capture the charm of the original movie. Still I would have watched another movie in this series but I guess that wasn’t to be.

Join me next time as I watch something that will make me puke blood and then yell about it on here. I gotta pick at least one movie to be shitty too because man It’s hard to write positive funny reviews and this is where you say “wait this stuff was supposed to be funny?” and we all laugh until there’s a freeze frame.

Let’s Never Stop Talking About Adult Swim Because They Made 12,000 Television Shows Part Whatever of 7,000: More New Shows.

 Well you know the deal. It’s time to talk about another four shows from Adult Swim. The channel within a channel that made way more shows than I thought. I really did not expect to be talking about this stuff for as long as I am going to be. It’s not too bad to be honest. Except for Tim and Eric the shows are either very good. The worst shows are nothing compared to stuff like Mama’s Family or Charles in Charge. Well I’d watch Mama’s Family and Charles in Charge over Tim and Eric but that’s not saying much really. Anyway let’s get into another four series!

1.) Rick and Morty

Yes. You know I had to get to this one. And I finally did. I must admit that sometime after the first season or two aired I watched a few episodes and actually enjoyed them. They were creative and amusing and very entertaining. Then the fans came out. I think this might be the only thing ever ruined for me by how absolutely stupid and terrible the fanbase is. Remember the McDonalds thing? That was some really fucking terrible shit. The only fanbase worse than this is probably the people who like Steven Universe. Anyway I watched a new episode and holy shit this show literally decided to crawl up its own asshole with smugness. I don’t even know what that means but this show clearly now thinks its the most intelligent and amazing thing ever put to television. I did not laugh once during that episode. Season six I believe. Anyway I was not into that episode and I will be forgetting about Rick and Morty.

2.) Birdgirl

I can’t believe I have to post this but it’s the world we live in. I’m all for just about any kind of human being getting a tv show. men, women, the lgbt community, black people, whatever. Different voices are a good thing. However I’m not going to be like “wow you created great content!” when you didn’t. Doesn’t matter who you are. Birdgirl is bad content. I was very annoyed watching this show. Tim and Eric annoyed. So you know I am not a fan and do not want to see any more of this really bad spinoff to one of the best adult swim shows. Also what’s up with the not having anything Hanna-Barbera in the show. I know port’s going to be like LOL YEAH THATS AN IMPROVEMENT but a lot of the fun of the original show was seeing them parody those characters and put them in weird plot lines. I dunno. It feels weird not to have them show up and do things but what do I know. I just know this show sucks ass.

3.) YOLO: Crystal Fantasy

Made by the same guy who did Smiling Friends this show was a lot more uh weird and unpleasant. I did not enjoy the one episode I watched. It had a woman named Rachel getting lost in a weird fantasy world after sitting down to piss near a crystal tree and her friend Sarah wondering where she went. Anyway you see both Sarah living her life for nine years while Rachel parties. It’s not very good. This show is all about weird shit but the punchline is LOL ITS WEIRD and not a punchline about the weird shit. I was annoyed and bored by this program. Not gonna be watching any more.

4.) Primal

I was not too fond of the previous three shows but damn this is one hell of a show to end out on. A caveman (who looks like if someone at Hanna Barbera had to draw a Jack Kirby character so I love him already) and a T-Rex become friends and have adventures across the land. The catch is that this series is done pretty seriously AND without any dialogue. I was not sure if they could pull it off but I sure as hell want to watch the rest of this series now. It’s two seasons of I believe 10 episodes each. Done by Genndy Tartakovsky who’s birth name Gennady Borisovich Tartakovsky is literally the most Russian name in the history of the world. I shouldn’t have worried because he’s the guy who created Dexter’s Lab and that was a great cartoon series. I also must say that the animation in this series is an absolute joy to look at and I have to say this is probably the best new program adult swim has had. Very highly recommended even though I’ve only seen one episode.

So, four shows. Two of them bad, one of them used to be pretty good until fans and the writers decided to be dildos and the final one of them being very promising. I will be back next time talking about some of the shows adult swim picked up because why not.