It’s been like two whole weeks since I’ve talked about any thing on this blog and my feeling is that if you don’t feel at least somewhat up to talking about something you shouldn’t do it. You gotta care at least a little about talking about something. I know my posts are full of terrible grammar and poor jokes but I know they would be even worse if I wasn’t in the mood to talk about something. Still I now have four wild ass movies to talk about.
12.) Hellraiser: Judgment (2018)
I’ve finally finished this franchise. I’m a weird person who needs to every single movie in a franchise. I don’t know why. I know most sane people pretty much gave up on this series once it went Direct to Video but not me. I watched all eleven of these movies. Most of which are very bad. This one is better than the last one but is still a pretty bad movie. It just didn’t make me angry. This movie involves cops going after a serial killer and the Cenobites doing something. You could kinda cut them out of this movie and you wouldn’t really miss much. Like change one thing and you’d have a bad movie but one I would probably never watch. The Cenobites just feel pointless and they have a bunch of new ones and I really don’t like most of the new ones. They don’t have that weird Cenobite feel to them. I did like one new character called The Auditor. Anyway the movie brings in some new characters and doesn’t really develop them. One new character shows up and ends up sending Pinhead to become human? I don’t know. It happens so fast because they clearly wanted to end this movie. It’s done so quickly and terribly. The other plot involves a bunch of Cops looking for a serial killer who does religious shit. I forget the killers name and I don’t care enough. This stuff is actually kind of interesting until they just JAM in the fact the main cop is actually the KILLER! I mean doesn’t that come off as a hackneyed idea in 2018? I can’t even think of many movies where that was done but I’m sure it happened. It also happened better than here because it just pops in at the end like the writer was like OH MY GOD THATS THE BEST IDEA EVER and didn’t fix any of the earlier stuff. Still I actually liked the actors in this movie and they did try their hardest. I would probably put this around the middle of the series even though it’s still a pretty lazy movie. I would comment on how people just calling the newest movie from last year JUST ANOTHER HELLRAISER to watch this one. At least that one felt like it was a damn Hellraiser movie!
14.) The Omen IV: The Awakening (1991)
Holy shit. This movie was fucking hilarious. I know it’s supposed to be horror but I could not stop laughing. The kid in this movie just plays it so meanly that I couldn’t stop laughing. The weird music cues. Just the goofy shit people did in the film. The acting (except for Michael Lerner) is over the top and really bad. But in a beautiful way. Actually the kid does a pretty good job. Anyway this movie is the fourth movie in the Omen franchise and was made for television in 1991. Probably for NBC. or Maybe CBS. This clearly wasn’t an ABC Made for TV movie! (That’s a joke people. I don’t know or care what channel made this.) It is legit bonkers from start to finish. A woman starts thinking her daughter is something more. And she finds out that she’s the ANTICHRIST! Her real father was Damien from the previous films! This movie also ends on a downer note! I love when horror does that sometimes! Anyway I recommend this movie to everyone. It is a must see.
15.) Mission Kill
Action International Pictures was created by David Winters sometime in the 1980s. I didn’t have to tell you that because this is literally the most 80s 80s action film you could watch. Robert Ginty plays a man who was bringing guns over the border into a civil war to help the renegades. His friend played by Cameron “Fine I’ll Show Up In Your Damn Movie For 15 Minutes” Mitchell is killed and he desires revenge! He teams up with the renegades and BLOWS SHIT UP. Man this movie was a lot of fun. Yes the plot has been used about 12,986,520 times in movies. I don’t even think there are that many movies ever but somehow the plot has been done THAT much. What makes this movie is the actors. All of them are clearly having a great time. Robert Ginty is an underrated action hero. Cameron Mitchell might have been a hard guy to get along with but he does well with this role and you feel bad when he dies even though he was one in the movie for fifteen minutes. The guys who play the bad guys are so much fun to watch. There’s also the guy who was friends with Jerry Seinfeld’s dad in Seinfeld. You know the weird looking guy whos pen someone in the cast got obsessed with. I think it was Jerry. Anyway it was great fun.
16.) The Chill Factor
I think this was one of the last movies Action International Pictures had something to do with before David Winters fired David A Prior and started making movies even I don’t care about. It’s hard for me not to be somewhat interested in at least one movie you made afterwards. Actually I lied there is one movie he made that I want to see called Can’t Stop Dancing. I want to see it because thats like the worst title for a movie ever. Anyway this movie involves people driving around on skidoos and one of them gets hurt. They decide to stay at a cabin that was once ran as a summer camp or something! Something involving Satanists also happens! They didn’t really clear up the plot here very well! Despite that I did enjoy this because I enjoyed the characters. Yeah they should have been more clear with the plot (even with damn narration clearly added in) and it totally takes a while to get going but it’s home grown independent charms got me and I enjoyed watching it. It won’t rock your world but if you enjoy cheap and cheesy 90s horror movies you might have a good time with this one.
Another four movies. Three of them being enjoyable watches in my estimation. I really don’t know what I should say to end this all. So I’ll just leave. Bye!
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