I was originally going to talk about a cartoon that was made by France. And Germany. And British.. And yes, Canada. On a Belgian comic book from the 1980s. (If I somehow got incredibly rich I would bring over so many comic books that didn't have English translations. I really want to read the comic this show was based on AND Cybersix. Why do countries have so much cool shit I can't get too.) I was actually kinda excited to watch it but I cannot. I wanted to do something related to CANADA, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND GREATEST COUNTRY OF ALL TIME, so I figured, hey what about that series of comics where Spider-Man goes to Canada! So let's get into this Public Service Announcement comic book five parter (although I'm only talking about the first part today. I will get to the rest of the story another time.)
This was a comic book that I remember fondly because as a PSA, it was given out to schools and it was in one of the class rooms in my school. Somehow never confiscated from any kid or put away. Just sitting on a shelf. Of course, yours truly would read it all the time. During class. I don't even remember it getting confiscated or put away. I also don't remember any other kids reading it. I guess they wanted to learn. I didn't care because the other kids were mean to me, some of the stuff we had to learn was always hard for me (which caused me to go to SPECIAL ED, yes claw was a SPED as a child. don't really act surprised.) and I always felt the teacher Mr. Kelly who I seemed to have for SEVERAL GRADES was just mean to me for no reason. I really did not like Mr. Kelly at all. I'm pretty sure at one point the comic mistakenly fell into my book back. MISTAKENLY and I went home. with it. Mistakenly. And it stayed in my house. Mistakenly. Until it got ruined in a flood. But I loved it. Loved it enough to MISTAKENLY take it home and cherish it.
This was a PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT comic, there are actually a lot of them from the 1980s and I plan to discuss as many of them as possible because I like to talk about the weird and the wild when I talk comic books. This comic was written because some Canadian group wanted it. Marvel got Todd McFarlande to draw the cover. Alex Saviuk to draw the actual comic and Dwayne McDuffie (RIP) to write the first three parts. I never read past the first part as a child and I still have to read parts 3, 4 or 5. I even have them somewhere in this house. Just gathering dust around in my basement. I really should read them but I don't even know where they are. I am so cool aren't I? Anyway I'm glad to get to write this because I finally get to re-read this comic.
We start right in the middle of the Fight between Spider-Man and Electro. I love Electro, even with his crazy costume. He was always fun. Anyway he and Spider-Man are bantering away and Spider-Man gets him on his ass and one of his goons show up and Spider-Man looks at him just long enough for Electro to shoot a lighting bolt at his ass. Electro and the Goon leave while Spider-Man is just unconscious. He wakes up and finds out that Electro is sending Hockey Pucks to........WINNIPEG CANADA??? So he gets J. Jonah Jameson to actually give him money for planet tickets. Spider-Man is going to Canada!
We then go to a community center and we see a black man named Herb Carnegie. I'm pretty sure he is a hockey coach of some kind but I don't want that bit of information to push out a bit of information in my brain about say.......The Snorks or something else. I have mentioned before that I do not care one iota about sports of any kind. I am glad that people get enjoyment out of them, wouldn't take that away from them but I just do not care. Anyway the kid Spider-Man came to interview, Beth, is not very good at Hockey, just fell on her ass. Anyway the main kid of the team, Alan is slacking off. The practice is ended and we see the kids..........SMOKING. OH NO. You see kids you should be like your ol' pal Michael, I never smoked or did any drugs or alcohol like ever! You totally want to be like a man who probably has autism and is going to one day post 2,000 words about the Final Episode of the Snorks. Yeah, actually I'm pretty sure I do have autism. Unlike all the cool shit drug dealers get to do. Be lame like me!!!
Anyway, Spider-Man sees this and is like HELL NO CHILDREN STAY AWAY FROM THAT SHIT. Well no he actually just watches until one kid opens up a hockey puck to find DRUGS in it. Not a bad place to stash drugs actually, Electro's thinkin pretty smart. Anyway the kid gets Alan to take the drugs for free and that's when Spider-Man gets involved swinging away with Alan. To show him something. He shows him his "friend" Ben moving drugs around and selling them. Making money and bringing it back to the main warehouse. Spider-Man tells Alan to stay outside and goes in to take a look. He finds the Hockey Pucks and well Electro! Oh shit while Electro yells at Spider-Man how he left America for Canada to get away from Super heroes. Poor Alpha Flight get no respect from Electro. Anyway Electro's SECRET Partner, Ben and some other kids come out with switch blades to tackle Alan and the other kids.
Electro gets his ass knocked out but his SECRET Partner has the kids and he's not letting them go. He throws knives at Spider-Man after throwing Beth on the ground. Spider-Man webs up all the bad kids in one go because he's a superhero and they are all like weak ass thirteen year olds. The SECRET Partner yells MISSED ME as he jaunts his way out the door. Spider-Man rushes out but only sees a little old lady. He does not listen to his Spider-Sense but we get a great look of a panel that has been seared into my mind. Of an old lady with a giant evil grin on her face. It turns out Electro's SECRET Partner was the Chameleon all along! He gets away as they finally web up Ben the bad kid but Electro has awakened and is ready to fight Spider-Man again, however Alan knocks a puck right in his head so Spider-Man webs him up. Electro was pretty smart to get out of America but not smart enough to not use something with rubber that like totally messes with his whole power set. Alas.
Alan tells Spider-Man thanks for telling him about substance abuse. Spider-Man then says he won't be here to help the next time so remember what he said. He says this to all the kids but he never took them on a ride around seeing drug related shit like he did with Alan. Anyway Peter Parker watches the kids win the game and then telephones J. Jonah Jameson to say he's going to the BIG SCIENCE FAIR in FREDRICTION, NEW BRUNSWICK (near where I live in Atlantic Canada!) with Beth to write about her and the Big Science Fair. The Daily Bugle is not the most exicting newspaper it turns out. He says that he doesn't think he's done with the MYSTERIOUS MAN who was working with Electro but he if he tries anything to hurt Beth then he's gonna beat his ass. Don't hurt the kids when Spider-Man is around!
FINAL THOUGHTS: Not the most amazing comic. I mean I get the feeling this was kind of a detention assighment kinda thing for everyone involved. Not something they were squirming and rushing to do. Still it is a well told story, Pretty simple but it keeps moving at a good pace. The PSA stuff is done pretty well, comes in naturally as in randomly forced in at the end. Not as amazing as I thought when I would read it in the classroom but holy hot moly was it a lot better than having to listen to Mr. Kelly. Mr Kelly SUCKED.
