Wednesday, December 24, 2025

Movie Review #78: Silent Night Deadly Night (2025)

 


I have ot mention this because it's so weird to me. After I watched this not very good film I looked it up on Google to find the poster and found a link to a video on YouTube called Silent Night, CUCKED Night. I watched it for 3 seconds before I was like yeah no. I just like that a ANTI WOKE EVERY MOVIE IS NOW TOTALLY 100% ULTRA LEFT WING COMMIE SHIT movie channel picked this. It was wild. Anyway, yes, they remade Silent Night Deadly Night for the second time. The first time was in 2012 with Silent Night (don't worry if you didn't realize it's a remake they do a bad job of showing you that it is, I mean it does have Malcolm McDowell going GARBAGE DAY in a weird forced scene. That was not a very good movie and I will say that this one is better but man it is still a weird and not very good movie. So it's time to discuss this stuff.

I think I should start by talking abotu the other movies in this series. I really love the  original Silent Night Deadly Night a lot. It's this weird dramatic thriller that goes through the life of this poor son of a bitch. He sees his parents get murdered and raped and all that shit. Then he goes to an orphanage where this HORRIBLE AWFUL GARBAGE BITCH NUN pretty much shoves his face into the dirt for the next 20 or so years. He then gets a job and after being forced to wear a Santa suit (the guy who killed his parents was wearing one) drives him fuckin crazy and he starts murdering the shit out of people while either screaming Naughty or Punish. He does not get to finally punish the nun who was the shittiest piece of shit who ever shit and was really the reason he snapped. Fuck that nun so hard. The second movie is a fucking mess but that's why I like it. About 60 percent of it is just clips of the original movie but what makes it amazing is the new footage. They get the most awkward actor they could to play the brother of the guy from the first movie, Ricky. You've seen the Garbage Day clip. EVERYONE HAS SEEN IT. It's amazing. I will never tire of watching it. The third movie was just a blah slasher film that really shouldn't be watched. The fourth movie was about witches for some reason but it did have Clint Howard. Still, don't watch it. The fifth movie was kinda enjoyable. The first remake was also blah.

OK. Sit your ass down. Just sit it down. Don't stand up because you will fall on your ass as I tell you about this movies bonkers ass plot. Okay, for the first part of the movie it kinda starts up the way the original does. However the kid is then sent in to see his Grandpa like in the original movie. He dies right there and his family just leaves and they drive around and well they end up getting killed by a man who we later on find out is Charlie the Janitor of the nursing home his grandpa lived in. We find this oue when we find out that Billy got out of the car after his mother pretty much killed Charlie the Janitor and he grabs his hand and this is what causes Billy to become a murderer. Charlie starts living inside Billys head. Yep. This is shown NOT to be some kind of mental issue or anything of the like. Charlie talks to Billy during the entire movie (can I say that I wish a single movie that does this would have the voice be like Pee Wee Herman or Ernest P Worrell instead. That would be weirdly hilarious) 

So Billy then starts killing people at the age of 17. He starts with his foster mother and then he tries to keep going killing people each Christmas for a decade. He only kills bad people and how does he find out whos bad. Well it seems that Charlie has the power to tell if someone is a good person or a horrible monster. You are thinking "Claw you seem to like bonkers weird ass horror movies and this is sounding like a bonkers weird ass horror movie?" I really wish I did but this entire movie is boring as fuck except for like one scene where he kills a bunch of Nazis. Also Charlie's eye could tell she killed someone but could NOT tell she was a Nazi. I guess Charlie's Magic Eye is not that amazing. The biggest problem is this movie takes itself way too seriously and tries to make this shit seem not goofy. Really should have went farther into Goof territory there Mike Nelson. Yes, just like the MST3K/Rifftrax guy which is really funny. 

There was a lady in this movie whom I really thought was gonna be a killer of a bunch of missing kids and that would bring her and Billy together as some sort of murder couple that would turn into some kind of murder family. No what happens is that well they actually find the killer of the children and go and try to kill him. Billy dies and then they do a hand hold (which yes Billy did with Charlie) before Billy dies which brings Billy into her head. I would think it was really funny if they brought Charlie AND Billy into her head. Everyone just arguing with each other. Anyway she kills her ex-boyfriend who was helping the killer because I guess she gets the killer eye despite Charlie finally dying. This movie is weird and confusing and dumb and not done in a way that's all that fun to watch... I'd skip this one.

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Movie Review #78: Silent Night Deadly Night (2025)

  I have ot mention this because it's so weird to me. After I watched this not very good film I looked it up on Google to find the poste...