Let’s Review Every Movie Ever Made Redux.

 Well I’m redoing a series of blog posts that only got one post. It’s going to be the same thing except I’m going to review four movies in a single post instead of two. I am not even linking to the other post because it was so bad. I should delete it but I will not. Anyway I watch a lot of movies. I mean sometimes I’ll go a while without watching any and then get a bug up my ass and watch more than any person reasonably should. So I figure let’s discuss these movies. These are the latest movies I’ve watched

1. Police Story

Jackie Chan movies are the greatest thing God ever gave this world. At least they are way up there. The ones he did in Hong Kong are the best but I can’t deny that I still like watching him do his thing in stuff like Shanghai Noon. I miss buddy comedies where two goofballs would go have a wild adventure. I miss that so much. Anyway I very much enjoyed this movie. A pretty straight forward plot where Jackie goes up against drug dealing jerks. And ends up kicking everyone’s ass. The only problem is that this movie lags for a little bit (just a very little bit) in the beginning but man if the opening and closing action sequences aren’t fucking amazing. Watch this movie or ELSE.

2. Police Story II

Yes. More Jackie Chan. I think I’ve now seen every Police Story (you don’t want to know how hard it is to not just put Academy after Police. It’s tough) movie from the 1980s and 1990s. I believe they made have made two newer ones in the 2010s but I’ll get to them when I get to them. This movie involves a bunch of bombers blowing shit up to get money blackmailing rich people. Also the bad guys from the first movie are back to really pretty much goof around. You could have removed all of their scenes and not much of the story would have been lost. Not saying you SHOULD remove their scenes because they do involve some great fights. I’m just saying the blackmailing bombers are clearly the more interesting and better part. Anyway I enjoyed this movie. I don’t know which of the four (I believe Mr Nice Guy is a Police Story movie in Hong Kong) is my favorite but I do know that you should check out all of them. Along with just every Jackie Chan movie to be safe. Except the Karate Kid. Not even Jackie Chan can replace Pat Morita!

3. Barbie

This movie was a wonderful delight. I haven’t seen any of Greta Gerwig’s fancy pants Oscar like movies but I’m kinda tempted to check out more because this movie was very funny, heartfelt and just a joy to watch. Everyone was clearly having the time of their lives being in it and it shows on screen. Of course the fun haters of society, Conservatives all over the internet are yelling about minor feminist ideals that are in the movie. It’s not like Barbie is now cutting dicks off or something. It’s the simple “women deserve respect and to be able to anything a man can” wow! I for one am very offended by the SHEER GOD DAMN IDIOCY of anti-woke YouTube conservatives. I wish they would go away. Forever. Anyway I would rate Barbie very highly. It’s even got a dance-off in it! Who can say no to that?

4. Venture Brothers: Radiant is the Blood of the Baboon Heart

This will be a spoiler warning but I don’t really think I’ll end up talking about a lot of stuff in this movie. This is just in case I do. Who knows. Anyway to spoil the adult swim mini-blog post series I must tell you that I think this might be the best show they ever had anything to do with. It is a love letter to superheroes, action cartoons of the 1960s and 1970s by like Hanna Barbera and stuff. It’s also hilarious and the literal ongoing story is one that I would have been incredibly angry, sad and depressed if it didn’t get an ending. It thankfully did and it was a really great ending. Everyone gets a final time to shine really. It’s a delightful romp and it even ends on an open ending in case somehow they get to do another season of TV. I mean that won’t happen because The New WB is really shitty because they were sold by the Old WB which was also shitty in its own way because HBO Max the streaming service wasn’t the biggest ultra mega hit right out of the gate so whatever cell phone company owned WB threw it to the dumbest fucker working in Hollywood today. Yeah. It won’t get renewed but they will throw more money than humanly possible at The Flash to give us the worst superhero movie ever. Yes I’m counting Steel and Catwoman and those weird Italian Superhero movies based on their comics made in the 1960s. All of those at least had charm. The Flash just made my nut sack hurt. I was happy with regular phones, video stores and cable tv. Fuck streaming. fuck the future. Fuck it all. Uh, to not get too depressing I love this show enough to literally put money into a crowd fund. I don’t do patreon. I don’t do crowd funds BUT if these guys came and say hey we can do a season 8 but you gotta give us money I would shit my britches and give them money. I mean it wouldn’t be a lot but it would be something.

Well that concludes the first part of this reboot of a one post series. I don’t know what the next four movies could be and with me it could literally be anything. So stay tuned and keep cool!