The Final Episode #106: Brand Spanking New Doug (1996 - 1999)

 

I've decided to do this show for TWO whole reasons! One: Portnoyd has been annoying lately so It's time I annoy him back and he is not a fan of Doug in any version of it. The second reason I wanted to talk about this show is that I want to clear up and finish all the Disney shows. I have several left so you'll see discussions on them soon. I mean not all at once but soon. I'll throw in other stuff to keep it interesting. Anyway I decided to talk about Brand Spanking New Doug because I think it's time to finally finish up the whole Doug Funnie story. So It's time to finally discuss Brand Spanking New Doug.

You might ask me why I broke up the two shows and the thing is despite what wikipedia says or anything they ARE two different shows. Doug showed up on Nickelodeon (did you know that they just had two create two more new episodes and they would have owned the whole show and Disney would not have gotten their mousy hands on it.) Disney bought Jim Jinkins Jumbo Pictures in 1995 or so and they had the rights to Doug and P.B. And J Otter. They didn't own the other stuff he did for Nickelodeon which included Allegra's Window and Hocus Focus. Yes Jim Jinkins was working with Nickelodeon in like 1980.  I just felt we should talk about some of his other works because well Doug is always in the forefront. 

Doug moved from Nickelodeon to ABC's Disney's One Saturday Morning. That came to be because Disney wholesale bought out ABC in like 1996? 1995? I don't know when but they threw around some of their large bags of cash and bought the TV station. The Disney Afternoon was pretty much on its way out in 1996 because their last shows for the syndication package Quack Pack and Mighty Ducks were not setting the world on fire even though I do know people who enjoy The Mighty Ducks. Not a single person has ever stuck up for Quack Pack except a doofus named Craig. Yes Port, it's that Craig. Speaking of which there's an episode of this show where Doug's old friend from his old town comes to visit and he is literally Craig as an annoying 13 year old.

To me, changing networks and giving your show a new name, even one as stupid as Brand Spanking New Doug was enough for me to go "Yeah this is a new show, a sequel show" but the thing is that wasn't it. Literally every thing you could change about the show they did. Connie the fat girl is now skinny. Roger is now richer than dirt because Bebe's dad needed the land his mother owned. The school is now Bebe' Bluff's School or some name like that and literally is shaped like her head. The Honkerburger was closed down. All of these changes made a LOT of kids who liked the Nickelodeon version hate this version. A lot of discussion has gone down on about how this show ruined Doug.

This is where your good old buddy Michael comes in. A man who will speak his opinion on anything and just not give a shit. I'll agree with the majority on things. Disagree on things. Stick up for things no one else will. Talk about things that no one else wants to talk about. So here's one to shock the internet if they actually read this blog. This was MY Doug. Yes I lived in Canada. The Great White North. Nickelodeon the channel never showed up here. Some of the shows did. Are You Afraid of the Dark? Yeah, Rocko's Modern Life. Yep! Angry Beavers too! Doug showed up here but it seemed to be not for that long. I do remember Nick's version but not as well as the Disney version and I have to admit that I really did enjoy watching it when I was like 12 on One Saturday Morning. I loved One Saturday Morning as much as I did The Disney Afternoon.  I just remember watching all of those shows before my family would go off to do Saturday things at the Mall or other places because stores were closed on Sunday because of Jesus Reasons until like the year 2000 in Newfoundland which meant we'd go to a relatives house or to the Flea Market at the Mall. It was a glorious time and I loved it.

I think this is enough backstory for this stuff it's time to finally close the book on Doug and talk about The Final Episode of Brand Spanking New Doug which by the end was just called Disney's Doug. It aired on June 26th, 1999. I was close to turning fourteen. Still watching Disney cartoons because I didn't have an angry conservative father who told me when to stop doing things in life and I guess felt I could make my own decisions on things. I don't know how much of One Saturday Morning I was watching during this time but I do know that I do not remember this episode. I do remember watching Doug's 1st Movie and thinking it was so terrible that I probably just gave up on the show too. That movie is bad. One day I will make portnoyd watch it. That would be funny.

So the Final Episode was called Doug's Marriage Madness. Which probably brings in the most overused cliche I've seen for Final Episodes. I don't care to go through the list right now but I know I've covered marriages enough time that I don't really want to cover another Marriage episode. Maybe I'm just pissed or sad because I won't ever get my own marriage because really what other human being would want to spend the rest of their lives with someone who literally is writing about ten thousand words about the Final Episode of Disney's Doug? That's right the only person who would marry me is well me. And I don't even want to spend the rest of my life with me. It's that bad.

So it's also about changes, which is pretty nice because that's what the first episode was all about. I know there's a word for that kinda thing but I cannot spell it and I really do not want to spend time on google trying to find it's spelling. Anyway Judy is going off to college. Doug's literally becoming a teenager and his voice is changing. Lots of new stuff happening for the Funnie Family. I also hate how it's spelled Funnie. Annoys the piss out of me. And yes another big change. Patti Mayonnaise's dad is marrying their weird English teacher Ms. Krystal. I'm pretty sure the both of these characters were added into Disney's Doug. Now watch as DougFan420 comes and yells at me that Patti's dad appeared in the Nickelodeon version and that I should shoot my dick off for not remembering that. 

So things are hectic at the wedding. Patti is trying to keep everything going under a tent. Two twins are trying to figure out if they should make the stand out of wood or metal and I'm like "why didn't you do this weeks ago?" Yeah I know its a silly cartoon but that's what stood out to me. The fact they wanted a marching band and Mr. Bone (I love that he sounds like Don Knotts) yodelling crew and they argue about it at least makes more sense then this. Yes I know I'm a cool guy arguing what they should have done instead for a cartoon that most people don't even give two rat shits about is not the best use of my time but if I weren't writing this I'd probably be viewing Twitter and that's way worse a use of anyone's time then what I'm doing here and now.

So Doug and Skeeter have to go to the Tux Store to get a bow tie for Mr. Mayonnaise and Patti gives him the ring. If you guess "Doug is going to be a goofy goober like he usually is and lose the ring" you'd be semi correct. He gets the ring stuck in his shoe and just THINKS he lost it. He gets two frosty goats (?????????) from the Ice Cream Man Mr. Swirly and this is where I just gotta say I love how this show would have random characters given fun designs. Mr. Swirly probably only showed up a few times but they still gave him a goofy hair do that looks like a swirly Ice Cream cone from one of those fancy ice cream machines. It's great. Doug was a show that I would watch for the side characters because they were honestly all a lot of fun. Doug himself is fine but it's all about Skeeter! Honk Honk!

So they realize they might be missing the ring and Doug and Skeeter have to find Mr. Swirly because Doug thinks he gave it to him. Doug and Skeeter run all over town. Meanwhile Mr. Dink's "VERY EXPENSIVE" Robot that makes things out of pate. You know the goose liver shit that always looks gross as hell to me. I don't know but I was amused when they made a goose out of goose liver. Wild. It gets all over the guests when it explodes. The stage breaks when something crashes into it. Judy (who I must say is a weird character among weird characters. Did Doug take place in like 1961 when beatniks were still a thing?) Anyway Roger (who is now mega rich as fuck) buys grand pianos for him and her and literally has them sent out on a parachute from a plane. They crash and ruin the tent. That's what you get for not having your marriage In a CHURCH like GOD INTENDED! 

They actually go to the church and Doug tells Patti about the lost ring and well The Mayor who is now the Ex-Mayor (in the movie which must have come out and take place after this has Mr Dink's wife as the mayor. or maybe she was the mayor during the entire last season. I cannot hold the memories of every fucking thing in my head people. I am not a fucking walking encyclopedia on the animated TV series Doug. Anyway he passes out and the people there start to bitch and moan until Doug takes off his shoe and smacks it against thing priests stand behind. Don't look at me I stopped going to church in like 1998. He gives a rousing speech about how things are changing around here but the one thing he hopes never changes is how Bluffingtoners never give up on each other and how he feels that they are all one big family. This gets everyone to talk about Marriage related stuff and Mr. Mayonnaise and Mrs Krystal agree about everything people are saying and then the Mayor regains consciousness long enough to declare them man and wife. Doug then realizes changes have to happen and not all changes are bad when his little sister Dirtbike (what the fuck is up with Mr and Ms Funnie to name their other two children normal names that exist and then just call the third one Dirtbike. I'm thinking that Dirtbike might be a mistake and they hate her.) Then the final scene has Porkchop give him a new journal because he had finished writing in the last one.

FINAL VERDICT: I would say this is actually probably the best marriage Final Episode that I can think of having done up to right now. TWO ended on a Cliffhanger and Cliffhangers are never good and the Sabrina episode was just weird where she just realizes in the middle of a marriage that she wants to get back with her ex. That's just weird and mean. I'm not trying to say marry someone you shouldn't but try to make sure you want or not want the marriage before the fucking marriage day comes. You know. Kinda mean. No like really mean. This episode however was nice because the two people clearly want to get married and having it all be about change a thing that Doug would touch on from time to time. Changes happen A LOT during your child years of 1 to 18. A LOT. Not just puberty and all that jazz but other random changes and it was a good thing to make into stories. Anyway I enjoy this show because of the weird characters and the charming low key comedy and the nice wholesomeness of it all. In a world right now thats angry and mean it's nice to have something like this to come back to you know?