Let's Review Every Movie Ever Made #1

 Alright, I'm changing up stuff from what it used to be. I watch a lot of movies and I do end up having some thoughts on just about all of them but sometimes not enough for a full review. So we are going to be reviewing two movies at a time, and I will be reviewing anything and everything I can get my hands on that somehow counts as a movie so expect to be surprised.  I've been on a life long search for the Worst Movie Ever Made and I think I found it but I still have a lot more movies to watch before I can definitely say that it is the worst so let's get to it. Let's watch and Review Every Movie Ever Made.

This one and the next few are going to be full of movies that will make you "how the hell haven't you seen this movie by now you jerk?" because they will be full of popular franchises and one offs. Like popular movies that I should have seen by now in my life. So get ready to go "You saw Leprechaun 4 In Space before that!?!? WHAT THE HELL?!?!?" Anyway I'm going to start with finishing up a series of films that big nerds enjoy called Star Trek. Join me won't you!?

I figure let's draw out this post a bit more and have me talk about my feelings on the other Star Trek movies. I still haven't seen the Motion Picture despite Damien C wanting to kiss it. I think The Wrath of Khan is great. so is Search for Spock. The Whale One (which is what I refer to the Voyage Home as) is the best one. The Final Frontier is uh very goofy but it's still a genuine fun ride with some actually pretty good and serious moments.  I forget the subtitle for the sixth movie but it's still a pretty good one even if I may enjoy 5 more despite it being goofier. It's still a pretty good sendoff and has Kurtwood Smith and he makes every movie he's in a sensual masterpiece of eroticism no matter how small his part may be. 

I dig Generations. I think it was fun to see Kirk and Picard in the same movie even if it's very gimmicky. I dunno if I like how Kirk goes out like a goober but despite that I do enjoy them sharing the same screen together. Plus you get Malcolm McDowell as a bad guy and I LOVE watching him be a bad guy. Always a fun time. First Contact is totally the best Next Generation Crew movie. Has the best plot, action and is the most entertaining. I know people complain LIKE BABIES about Action Movie Picard but he's gotta be a bit more actiony in the dang movies for the normies like me. Insurrection is an awful awful movie and it's the only one I truly dislike. The only positive about that movie is F. Murray Abraham, everything else sucks shit. What a terrible and stupid plot for a terrible and stupid movie.

 

Yes. It's now time for the first review of this piece. Like actual review and not just "YEAH I LIKED THAT ONE" and it's Star Trek Nemesis and I'm so torn on this movie. I like the concept, an clone of Jean Luc Picard who grew up a slave in the Sci-Fi Malarky mines wants revenge on the Romulans, federation, and Jean Luc Picard himself.  There's a lot of really nice character moments but the movie is honestly ruined by Tom Hardy. I just feel he wasn't very good in that role. I wish they would have picked just about anybody else. Also the fact he's dying is a weird one because it kinda makes the whole end fight really lame. I also am not a big fan of Data (I'm sorry shain and probably Damien) and he's a big part of this movie. Something about that character just bothers me. Maybe I'll grow to like him during my watching of the actual show in like the year 2041 or whenever.  Maybe I'm just pissed that I did not get to see Beverly Crusher and Lavar Burton naked like the movie promised when they were supposed to go to the naked people alien planet. YOU DON'T BREAK A PROMISE LIKE THAT MOVIE. Anyway 2 and a half stars out of 5.

 

The next movie is Star Trek (2009) by J.J. Abrams. I liked the other two movies I saw from him. Like Mission Impossible III and Cloverfield. So I am not a J.J. hater. I didn't even hate this movie I just didn't really care that much for it. First off I do not like Chris Pine as Captain Kirk. There's something about William Shatner that he could play a cocky jerk that you still wanted to see win the day, however I was just happy Spock punched Kirk and almost choked him. I also think comic books will always do the multiverse thing better because they don't need to use an entire movies length to get into a multiverse story. Just have the Watcher go YO THIS AINT THE REGULAR MARVEL UNIVERSE BABY! and bam in to the story. I also got to say that I did not enjoy this movies villain. I did like Shaun of the Dead as Scotty though. He was fun. This movie has some good action set pieces but as a whole eh. 2 and a half stars out of five.

NEXT TIME: More Star Trek!