This movie was in development since like I think 2015 or 2016. So it's finally out and DC Movies has changed hands many times because they made so many wrong headed decisions at Warner Brothers. The first one was letting Zack Snyder do anything with these characters because his movies were somehow incredibly depressing and really annoying. The scene where Pa Kent is like NO MY SON WITH LITERAL SUPER POWERS WHO COULD GET TO ME BEFORE ANYONE SAW HIM DO NOT SAVE ME. I WANT TO DIE A PAINFUL DEATH IN THIS TORNADO is the dumbest fucking moment in any Superhero movie and don't give me the LOL STEEL AND BATMAN AND ROBIN. Those movies are fucking written by the smartest human beings ever when compared to that bullshit. I do not get how so many people like the versions of these characters he did because they were fucking annoying and or depressing..
So it seems there's one more movie (the Blue Beetle which I am sure cannot be as irritating as this movie.) that ends the Walter Hamada era of DC Movies. I liked some of the stuff he did. I think he did the Shazam movies which were charming and enjoyable. I liked Birds of Prey and the The Suicide Squad movie. I am glad that they will be in the hands of James Gunn because The Guardians of the Galaxy trilogy is a S-Tier trilogy of Superhero movies. Anyway let's talk about this movie which you can tell by the title I do not like.
1.) I don't like the change of killing Barry's mom. I don't like it in the comics and I don't like that the shows and movies picked up on it. I don't like that his dad was blamed for it and I do not enjoy it. I liked Barry Allen's version of the Flash just becoming a hero because he had powers and it was the right thing to do. I like that. I'm not averse to characters having dark backstories because shit man I love Batman and Spider-Man and those origins aren't rose-y keen! It was nice that a character people knew about even before the movies happened was just altruistic because altruism is the right thing to do becuase there are other heroes who are like that but only sad weirdos like me know who the Will Peyton Starman is you know.
2.) The CGI is hot shit. I haven't seen CGI this bad in such a big name movie in SO long. It looks like its from some unfinished PS3 game. I should also SPOIL CAMEOS SO IF YOU DONT WANT THEM SPOILED JUMP AHEAD but they ghoulishly CGI Christopher Reeve, George Reeves AND Adam West. I do not like this trend one bit especially when you could have used archival footage. It feels like grave robbing even if the families agreed to it. Hell do any of the living people related to George Reeves ever got to meet him seeing as he died when my dad was 5 fucking years old. I am not a fan and I do not like it.
3.) I do not like Ezra Miller. I find Ezra Miller very annoying in this movie actually in both versions of the Flash. The older one and the newer one very annoying. I do not like it.
4.) The comedy in this movie is very bad. Many jokes are made that somehow he changed Back to the Future to have starred Eric Stoltz or however you spell his name. That CLEVER AND HILARIOUS joke is repeated several times. It's like someone getting right in your face and telling terrible jokes over and over and all you want to do is punch them. The people also do not act the jokes out very well seeing as a talented comedian or actor can make a not so great joke memorable or fun but these people are not it.
5.) The comedy fucking ruined Michael Keaton. They force him to do the shitty comedy and this might be the one and only time I will ever say this but Michael Keaton was not showing his A+ game. The old Batman movies he was on his A+ game. Beetlejuice A+. Night Shift. A+. I ALWAYS enjoy seeing him show up in a movie and this time I can't say that. Also can we stop giving actors the big name lines they said in the original thing they were in because no one can do it in a convincing way. Literally he does the LETS GET NUTS line and it sounds like he wants to get nuts for him and his grandson at a fucking baseball game. Jesus harold and mary.
6.) If you want to see Supergirl in the movie she uh doesn't do much. Yep.
7.) The movie seems to want to have its cake and eat it too. The whole ending is like Barry realizing he has to give it all up and that he can't save his mother however he can save his dad and change the evidence for him. I don't like it but I also don't care enough to complain any more. It's like yeah the whole theme is "Learn to let go" which in of itself is kind of a depressing theme for what should be fun colorful stories but what do I know. I legit said Steel and Batman & Robin are more enjoyable than Man of Steel and Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Boredom
8.) Speaking of Batman & Robin can we just stop with the jokes about that movie. OH HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH GEORGE CLOONEY IS NOW BATMAN HWOGHAOHAOHOHAHOHOHOHORHOHOODGFOH i laughed SO FUCKING HARD AT 1997S JOKE MOVIE WOOOO SO FUNNY I LOVE IT
Fuck. I think I might like this movie less than The Eternals. I did not expect to like a comic book movie less than that.
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Why do people keep trying and failing to do The Flash? I don't think it's ever been done right. I have no stake in the character regardless. All I remember about him is his 1984 Super Powers action figure and the cheesy 90s series. All I remember is one episode where he fought an "evil" Flash who wore an identical blue costume.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, necromancy CGI needs to fuckin stop. Let the dead lie.
Anyway this is all pointless because I'm done with comic shit anyway. IDC about the characters or the villains or the plots anymore. Good guys always win, bad guys lose, world ending plot thwarted. Epic music, giant space battle. The end.
This was DamienC btw
ReplyDeleteI know it's you silly boy.
ReplyDeleteI do know they made a lot of people fans of the character thanks to the CW show. I watched some of it and it was well better than the movie. I still read and enjoy superhero comics but if superhero movies and tv shows want to stay around they really have to step up their game and put out better fuckin product than this movie which they really had to make and put out because they spent SO much money on it.
There's only one time where I felt it wasn't creepy and that was in the Fast and the Furious movie where Paul Walker died. HIS family actually got into the thing to make sure the CGI looked as good as possible and I feel that's way different than some person who just happened to be related to George Reeves saying sure you can use my great grandpa (who i never met) 's image for that 10k that will literally change my life and put me on a great path. There's a large difference to me, but I know they are just going to keep on doing this shit.
You better still care about CapWolf, sonny!
I saw a bunch of Capwolf issues at the flea market on Sunday and I almost bought them lol. But I'd rather find my old ones at my parents' house instead.
DeleteI bet HERM reads them all the time!
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