The Final Episode #80: Wishbone (1995 - 1998)

 

I was going to have a big old opening that was actually probably a little bit fun to read but I'm going to have to make it the second paragraph so that I can rant a little bit. While looking up that image up there for this here Final Episode, I found that they are making a Wishbone movie. Written by Peter Farrelly and some other guy. Yes the There's Something about Mary guy. So expect Wishbone to spray shit all over someone's face. I'm just amazed that they want to make a big budget reboot out of Wishbone of all things. I would joke that everything from the past would be rebooted until we hated everything. I think that might be coming true. I can't wait for the shitty YouTube grifters to make a 8,000 videos on how Wishbone is now woke or something because the movie has a gay person in it or something.

So when I was a little child, I wanted a dog more than anything. I had asthma and was allergic so my parents were not keen on having a furry rascal running around.  However in about 1992? or 1993? I gave up my Super Nintendo to have a dog. I guess it was one of them non-shedding type. I had that dog for........ one whole day. You see the dog was frightened of us and hid under the couch. The next day my mom opened up the front door and the dog ran off. Not the back door that was fenced. The dog disappeared and maybe got hit by a car or someone took him in. My sister and I would get a dog named Marley who was a wonderful creature. I miss her. Anyway, as you can see I would watch just about anything involving a dog because I wanted them so badly. 

This is where Wishbone comes in. Wishbone was a PBS show (hey is this the first PBS show I've talked about? Wowie.) where a dog would go into books and play the main character in said book. The book would have something to do with said episode. Like today's episode is about the epic poem Aeneid that is about history and destiny. This was about the human characters getting ready to go to high school. And a little bit about Dumont talking about how he has no future. Sort of. I dunno. Anyway. I'll talk about the Wishboned Version of Aeneid first.

Aeneid was a epic poem. You know the Trojan Horse stuff? Yeah that's in this. So Troy is being wrecked by the Trojan Horse and Greek Wishbone (I'm calling him this because the other name is something I would misspell many many times.) runs off with his dad and some other people. The Gods fuck with Greek Wishbone and he goes all over the place. He ends up in Hades where he is told his destiny and then poof he's in the place that will end up becoming Rome. Wowie. Uh. You can easily tell how much I enjoyed watching this. I'm sure the actual story is much more interesting but it's gotta be edited wayyyy down until there's no meat on the bone. I will admit the ending "battle" between Greek Wishbone and some jerk was cute. That's it really.

The Plot involving the people is really really boring. There's a gas leak at Wishbone's house and everyone has to go into town at the local café. Wishbone has to pee. Joe and Sam leave after the parents talk about some tree stump that supposedly has magical powers so you can see into the future. They try it out and it doesn't really work out. This is feeling really thrown together even for a PBS edutainment show. The adults talk about how great High School was for them and how Joe's mom made a trophy case and then he goes to the High School and meets up with Dumont, who apparently is the bully of the show. That's a bad bully name. Like everyone would bully a dude named Dumont. He talks about how he lives in the shadow of his older brother Larry and how hard it is. How he feels he won't be able to get out from underneath. He and Joe have a back and forth and it ends with them seemingly becoming friends. Kind of a nice thing I guess.

FINAL VERDICT: Ho boy, I'm pretty sure the only reason I watched this show was because of Wishbone because if this Final Episode is anything like the other ones then this is one boring boring ass tv show. It makes me not want to talk about any PBS shows. This was almost as boring as the clip shows. The theme song is still a fuckin banger tho.