I recently did a thing on my Facebook group for this blog where I posted five shows and had people put them in the order they wanted to see them and then picked one of them thanks to my discord. So now THANKS TO ICHIBAN CRUSH we get The Wuzzles. And four other (better) shows. So yeah The Wuzzles, what is The Wuzzles you are probably asking yourself? Most of the people on my facebook group didn't even know of the existence of this show. I can't blame them because this show ran for 13 episodes in 1985. 13 episode shows rarely get reran for people, unless it's like the Disney Channel because well this was their first cartoon for television.
So I had heard of The Wuzzles thanks to I think Wikipedia. Not any place fun like Jump the Shark or some weird Wuzzles fan site on GeoCities that hadn't been updated since 2000. Nope. Wikipedia. Probably from some list of Disney Cartoons made for TV on there. I was curious because it was Disney's first show. It took me years to finally find episodes and probably a few more for me to even watch said episodes. I'm pretty sure I knew deep down that this show wasn't going to be very good. Boy how right I was! Yep this really seems like more of a proof of purchase than an actual attempt to make a long lasting cartoon.
The concept is fine. Animals that are two animals. Like the Lion whos also a bumblebee. It's a fun concept but all of the stories that I've seen were very generic and lifeless. I get the feeling that one episode was finished animating and Michael Eisner saw it and was like YEAH WE CAN DO IT. LET'S GET WORKING ON ADVENTURES OF GUMMI BEARS. Which was a better cartoon show. Everything here just feels so low-effort and I just couldn't give a shit. I'd only seen two episodes and it was enough for me to go "man I don't want to watch the other 11" so I didn't, UNTIL NOW!
So I've got to give it to the voice cast, or at least some of them. We got Henry Gibson, the short nazi from The Blues Brothers. Bill Scott, voice of Bullwinkle and Stan Freberg who voiced like 82 characters in several different Looney Tunes shorts. They honestly all do a good job and the voice acting and the voices are probably the best part of this show. So I felt like I had to shoe horn that in here somewhere. So I just did. Huzzah.
The Wuzzles Final Episode is called "What's Up, Stox" and starts up with Squirrel Birds sending their nuts south for the winter by hitting them with a baseball bat. We then go to Pac-Cat's store where the Wuzzles are all trying to buy costumes for the Fun Time Festival Fall Fair or whatever the hell it's actually called. You can already tell that I liked the 3rd episode of this show that I've seen just as much as the first two. The Wuzzles can't afford the nice fancy costumes but I don't think Mr Cat is going to be able to sell that Tinkerbell costume the fat Elephant rabbit messed up. I really really really really hate the Fat Elephant Rabbit. So fucking much.
The Wuzzles then go to their houses to find stuff to sell. The Fat Elephant Rabbit and the Butterfly Bear sell pies. And by sell I mean the Fat Elephant Rabbit eats them all. Was there ever a fat character in a cartoon or tv show or movie that didn't eat everything? Can that happen at least once? It's just kinda tiring to see the same joke 82,000 times. I dunno. The other Wuzzles don't sell any of their garbage. This is where Tycoon, the richest Wuzzle in the land pops up. He is a tiger and a Raccoon. Yep. Anyway he has a MONEY TREE. I don't think you should be showing that around even in a Disney cartoon. I'm sure someone will come to Tycoon and stab him right in the face to get that Money tree.
He also has a money tree seed. Which causes the Wuzzles to give him everything they own so they can get a money tree. To try to keep the money tree from being ripped apart they go in an order they get from picking numbers out of a hat. This doesn't work because they ALL decide to go to Pack Cat's store for some reason. They all want to buy something so they rush back to rip the shit out of the Tree. Wonderful. They try to get their stuff back from Tycoon and he's like "lol no"
Our episode is only half over and we all know about our moral for the week. Don't be a greedy fuck, but we still need something else to happen for the next 12 minutes, so the worst Disney villain of all time Crocosaurus, a Crocodile and some Dinosaur comes in. He has two sidekicks and I don't care enough to look them up. One is a shitty Tazmanian Devil ripoff and the other one is a Pink Piece of Shit. I am just glad that I am almost over. Crock steals the money tree and buys a house on easy street. The Bumblebee Lion tries to get him to think he has oil for some reason. I think the plan was to make his depressed that he didnt have oil so he'd leave? And give back the tree? What a stupid plan. Tycoon gets Crock to buy STOCKS but it really turns out to be Stork Oxes! or a Stox! Yes! The Stox'es come by and eat food at Crocks place. Yeah. What a great plan.
The Fat Elephant Rabbit just says we should steal the Tree back. Which causes Crock to run off with the tree. They break the tree in half and all the money flies away. The Wuzzles realize they were acting like Crock and they should love each other instead of money or material gains. Frankly if these were my friends I'd rather have the money. Anyway Tycoon isn't too peeved about this because he wanted friends in the neighborhood, despite earlier in the episode saying he wants to become a zillionaire. Anyway they all go to the Festival Fall Fair Funtime Fair For Fucking Fuckers dressed up as ghosts. Stan Freberg as the narrator talks about how great they are as friends.
FINAL VERDICT: Yeah, maybe I'm being harsh on this silly cartoon made to sell a toy, but it's seriously one of my least favorite 80s cartoons. Like had I been older or ever saw a rerun, I would not have been a fan of this show. It would have been something I just not watched. The plush toys would probably get some play around my house if I ever had any but the actual show nah. Still this is a better Final Episode than several of the ones that ended on a clip show or Clutch Cargo. Still this is a F-Tier Final Episode and F-Tier 80s cartoon. Can't win em all I suppose. Still one thing that came from this was Disney realizing they CAN do television cartoons and making about 300 great ones. So there's that. Sometimes something good comes out of a pile of shit like The Wuzzles.
The wuzzles are dirtbags. FACT
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