Comic Review #45: What If #34 (1992)

 

When I started this blog I would do three mini reviews of three different comics. I had chosen What If and called them What If Wednesdays. I don't really like those reviews because reviewing more than one thing at one time feels lazy most of the time. Like I'm sure I could have had a lot more to discuss with each and every one of those stories, so I'm sure you will see them redone for your amusement. I don't know when or how but I do plan to try to review a What If comic every Wednesday. Also I had an ongoing thing for DC's equivalent of What if's Elseworlds, I plan to incorporate them into the Comic Review. I want this Comic Review thing to have so many reviews that you'll go 'Wow thats a lot of comic discussion" then you read them and go "Wow thats a lot of poorly constructed comic discussion" and you'd be right!

I got a pretty interesting little comics writer for the main story (the only one of the two that is actually memorable) Scott M Gimple. Who worked with Disney, Simpsons comics and The Walking Dead. He was born in 1971 and is 50 years old now. He created the Disney cartoon Fillmore! which will totally be discussed on The Final Episode because that show was a damn hoot. I'll wait for that Final Episode to discuss it! It might bypass my no shows past 2000 rule but I'll break that anyway because It's my blog and I can do whatever I want. Anyway there are about 52 artists doing parts of this comic magazine so I don't think I'll be picking just one to discuss. Sorry art men!

As you can tell from the Watching doing the Marilyn Monroe pose from that movie I never watched because it didn't have a giant monster or Richard Pryor in it yet I still know that scene. It's weird how that works out. It's much less sexy with the Watcher in Marilyn Monroe's spot, unless you are into blankless eye big headed men with greek robes. If thats your thing well good for you but I certainly don't understand it. Anyway you can tell this is a humor issue and oddly enough issue 34 of What If Vol 1 was also a humor comic. And it was funnier. 

The Scott M. Gimple story involves Galactus being turned into a human being who looks like Elvis Presley circa the 1960s and everyone believes he is Elvis. I guess Thanos was being nice when he used the Infinity Gauntlet to turn Galactus into Elvis. Is Thanos a Elvis fan? I like to think he is because it actually amuses me to see him trying to dance like Elvis. This is not a bad little story and has a few cute amusing moments but it just up and ends when Adam Warlock just gives Galactus the okay to stay as Elvis. Isn't Galactus like a big thing that needs to stay around in the Marvel Universe? I'm pretty sure thats the case. It does end with this great image:

The Watcher there in some fancy flannel makes the best thing ever. This is pretty much the reason I will tell you to buy this comic because the rest is pretty bad. I think this story with an ending that just doesnt feel like it popped out of nowhere and was a bit longer it would have been great instead of decent. That's just me though. The other story in this comic is a weird one involving Spider-Man and Mary Jane Watson-Parker having a baby spider that's this weird grossly drawn thing. Spider-Man has to take care of the freak baby and also fight crime. The baby helps him beat the bad guys. There that's the story. It's not funny or good.

The rest of this book is just one panel things which was what the first book was about just the first one had better gags for the most part. The original book had one that was like What if Wonder Man was a woman and Power Man was a girl? and there was a cease and desist letter from DC comics right in the middle of the thing. It's a nice little gag. The gags in this comic were like WHAT IF HOWARD THE DUCK WAS A VULTURE? clearly they threw some jokes together at the last moment and only one of them works, at least works for me. I'll post it here because why not.

I would totally buy a comic series with Punisher's family but it HAS to include Bullets the Wonder Pup.

FINAL VERDICT: I really can't say much because I'm sure someone out there thinks these one panel gags are hilarious but I really do not. So this comic pretty much fails. It has one amusing story and an amusing cover at most which is more I can say for What The?! Marvel's humor comic of the time. I really should discuss that one. and Not Brand Ecchh and Crazy Magazine. I have so many comic books to review and so little time. Anyway have a good day.