I've decided to take a little break from the Let Facebook/Discord decide what to pick, because those HOOLIGANS on Discord were all like comedy men being "LOLOLOL SUPERMAN TAS... TOOL ASSISTED SPEEDRUN LOL REVIEW THAT CLAW" "YEAH REVIEW THAT WE KNOW THIS BLOG IS THE ONLY THING YOU ENJOY DOING ON THE INTERNET SO WE WANT TO SHIT ON IT!!!" "REVIEW THE TAS IT'LL BE FUNY LOL" and I think Facebook got bored of my blog. Not gonna shit on them because really most people can only read so many posts about things like Lassie before they give up and do something else. Only portnoyd has the stomach to comment on my blog and I thank him for that. Even if his comments are wrong.
Now that I'm doing being a shaming asshole and shaming you let's discuss Lassie. Lassie has roots back to 1938. 83 years of dog rescuing fun. That's a damn lot of Lassie. The first time she appeared was in a magazine story that appeared in The Saturday Evening Post that came out on December 17th, 1938. So I guess that's Lassie's birthday. She was created by Eric Knight an English writer. He took the short story and turned it into a full length novel in 1940 called Lassie Come Home. It was made into a movie in 1943, which spawned six sequels. One of them was apparently on Mystery Science Theatre 3000. Now that's a wild crossover! Which is the only Lassie movie in the public domain. I'm gonna put it on VHS and make millions! See you later LOSERS!
In 1954, Lassie was brought to the smaller screen where she lasted for 19 years. That's how popular this show was. It lasted for 591 episodes and is the fifth longest running television show in American history... right behind The Simpsons, Gunsmoke, and two versions of Law and Order. I don't know about you but I'd watch Lassie before 3 of those shows and it's a 50/50 chance if I'd watch Lassie over the Simpsons. Honestly at this point it's probably way more than 50 percent chance I'd watch Lassie over the Simpsons. Seasons 11 to 33 of the Simpsons are totally worse than Lassie.
Even the show Lassie has a lot of history. The first few seasons she was owned by Jeff. Then it was Timmy. Then in the 11th season she left to go with some Park Rangers. Then she was on her own for a season. THEN in the last two syndicated seasons she appeared at Holden Ranch. Another fact that's only interesting to me is that the little girl who voiced Lucy Van Pelt in You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown played a deaf little girl in the final two seasons. She also appeared in The Toolbox Murders and Charlotte's Web, that's a very interesting career resume. I'd love to talk to her about all of those things. I'm weird.
The Final Episode of Lassie entitled The Dawning was aired in Syndication on March 24th, 1973. It was about Lassie doing what Lassie does best, saving a complete moron from death. The moron in this episode was a cute little calf who got out of the barn. It actually just kept hitting the door until the door unlocked, so I guess the calf wasn't that stupid. The Calf ends up meeting a wolf and Lassie has to kick some motherfucking ass, which she does. Lassie is a feminist hero even if she was mostly played by male dogs. The episode was very nice and calm except for that one scene of excitement but hey sometimes you just want a nice calm show where you see animals do tricks and some nice nature shots. I dunno, I enjoyed watching it more than Grandma's Boy that's for sure.
Lassie didn't really stop there to be fair. Just 5 years later she was in a musical called The Magic of Lassie and yes, I do plan on reviewing it. Who doesn't want to see Jimmy Stewart sing?!?...I guess I'm the only person. Then in the late 1980s they made The New Lassie, reuniting some of the old cast. In 1994 another movie was made. Then yet ANOTHER Lassie show that appeared on YTV here in Canada. Even the fact that you can get anything you want streaming hasn't slowed Lassie down as just last year someone remade Lassie Come Home.
FINAL VERDICT: Jesus is there a topic I can't talk about on this blog? Let's see if I can find it because damn that's a lot of words about Lassie, and I stick by the fact that I'd rather watch Lassie get someone out of a well for the 38th time than watch a new 2021 episode of The Simpsons.
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Thank you for the praise, you're a great herk and always wrong.
ReplyDeleteLassie was an early staple of Nickelodeon so I did watch it a bit. June Lockhart had a bangin ass. They primarily had Timmy episodes which I think gave birth to the Timmy falls down the well jokes.
This hard to call a final episode since it's just the last one they made. At least Facts of Life at least had some closure. But that's the 50s for you; TV had not yet molted into the narrative thing we even had in the 80s.
The original Law and Order is pretty entertaining. The Jerry Orbach/Sam Watterson combo is really enjoyable and holy shit, Watterson's fucking eyebrows. SVU (aka SEX CRIMES UNIT) is preachy sanctimonious repetitive garbage. I think it's only still on because of the perv element keeps tuning in. You are rarely correct about the Simpsons, even though it's season 9 because as you should know as a fan of Jump the Shark, the shark jumping episode is the second episode where Principal Skinner is a fake.
I don't agree with that Jump the Shark moment because there are still good episodes in season 9 and even 10. 10 was half good and half bad. this is making me want to start up a series of posts about the simpsons where I remember the good times and get really angry.
ReplyDeleteI try to do different final episodes to keep it interesting and to show how shows ended in different eras. Lassie just ends with another adventure. Not even the most exciting adventure, just another one. I'm amazed it is just the Timmy episodes because you'd think you'd go for all 591 episodes if you ran a show like every day for 12 years which apparently nickelodeon did because Lassie ran from 1984 to 1996.
I am always correct on everything and Grandma's Boy is a piece of fucking shit ass trash.