Movie Review #26: Urban Legends: Bloody Mary (2005)

 

Direct to Video stuff had a big part in my childhood and teenage years of renting stuff at the video store, I just didn't know it. I enjoyed looking at the new arrivals shelves to see the new movies that totally didn't go to theatre. I would usually rent a sequel to a horror movie that had just stopped making enough money to make a theatrical release but enough to make a Direct to Video sequel. They started in the 1980s and I don't know if he was the first one to do it but Charles Band made several DTV movies. Like Robot Holocaust, Mutant Hunt and Dreamaniac.

Direct To Video movies usually had casts of nobodies, maybe a character actor in it if they really wanted to spend a little extra. If they wanted to spend even a little more they'd get someone who was in the earlier movies to return, like in Hellraiser 6 and yes I'm too lazy to find the actual full name of that movie because it really doesn't deserve it. That movie brought back Ashley Laurence I think thats her name from the first two movies (the only good ones in the franchise). They sometimes featured people who became new stars. The Superman from the new DC movies was in Hellraiser 8: No I'm Not Looking This Up Either.  Kate Mara who's been in a bunch of stuff starred in this movie in 2005.

For the people who don't know horror fans are weird picky people but a lot of them will end up watching stupid movies (like this one). Still I can't forget how many arguments I got into about "new" horror not being the best. This was during the Slasher Renaissance. Like the Scream era. Me I like those movies quite a bit. I did then and I do now. I liked Scream. I liked Urban Legend. Rewatching Urban Legend: Final Cut and Valentine made me realize those were better than I had remembered. They were slick and sleek and there own animal then an 80s slasher. I dunno I just never got the angry at Scream and the rest of them bug.

 Urban Legends: Bloody Mary is uh... a pretty stupid movie. It starts out with some girls being pranked using a date rape drug and one of them ends up dead. She comes back to kill the children (who did a similar prank) and you've seen this movie about forty two times in your life, even if you aren't a horror fan. The acting is not very good and I'm surprised that was Kate Mara, well I actually shouldn't be surprised because the only other movie I ever saw her in was Fantastic Four. You know the really stupid one where they put the letter 4 in the title, but I refuse to do that because it's fucking stupid.

So yeah I still liked this movie. It had some hilariously bad lines in it and I love me a hilariously bad line "As real as your mothers tit!" is one of them. It made me wonder did her mother just get one tit enhanced or what? Also after one guy dies a man exclaims "holy shit this guy's dick is smoking" because he pissed on the electrical fence. He didn't listen to Ren and Stimpy. This movie also had foolish as hell death scenes like the one lady who had spiders crawl out of her face. Like thousands of them. Yeah I know that's an Urban Legend but still it's really damn silly. Oh and the fact someone died from pissing on an electrical fence. What a world we live in where that's a death in a slasher film.

FINAL VERDICT: Not in any way a good movie. I don't even know how they got the lady who did Pet Semetary to do this. She really didn't seem to try very hard here, probably knew she was just being used as "MADE BY THIS PERSON" advertising and didn't really try at all. Still it's a fun "so bad it's good" movie and SO not the worst Direct to Video movie..