William Castle was totally the coolest damn film director of all time. Quentin Tarantino doesn't deserve to lick his feet (even if he'd probably like that, damn foot weirdo). He would do all kinds of crazy gimmicks, like in the film Homicidal . If you were too afraid to see the ending you could leave AND get a refund but you had to go stand in the COWARDS CORNER. Or making people think the bug creature from The Tingler was in the theatre with them. He was responsible for 18 very entertaining horror/scifi/comedy films. At least I would say they were entertaining, I mean people slag on his comedy films but one of them has Donatello the Ninja Turtle in it as a 17 year old! What do today's comedies have? Not that for sure. They have that terrible asshole Allen Covert who can't act and is terrible (hi port)
I mention Mr. Castle for two reasons, one.) This movie is a remake of one of his films and two.) it was made by a studio that intended to remake all of his films. His daughter Terry is even a producer! How cool is that? Sadly they only remade two of his films. This and 13 Ghosts. I say sadly because this movie is very well made and if they had been just as good as this one I'd have loved to see what they would have done with stuff like Bug or Let's Kill Uncle. Seeing as this movie is a rewatch it's time to tell you the boring story of how I came to see it in 1999. I think my parents actually rented this one and we watched it together. There. Very exciting. I decided to rewatch it because I couldn't find another horror movie to watch today and I was like eh fuck it! I haven't seen this one in 22 years (wow that makes me feel like I'm a bazillion and one years old now).
I remember enjoying it then but I think I enjoy it even more now. It's a simple story, an abandoned falling apart insane asylum is haunted by ghosts that died there in the 1930s. It gets rented out by a rich man named Stephen Price who well he and his wife are kinda not happy with each other. She would divorce him but there's that little pre-nuputial thing. They bicker and I'm pretty sure she's tried to kill him a few times. I think Steve enjoys the thrill of it all, the weirdo does own several amusement parks where he makes crazy rides. THE EVIL HOUSE sends for several people that neither Steve or Evelyn know (well except one but I won't spoil who!), but offers them a million dollars each to stay the night. They pretty much have too when the House locks them in!
This was a great little movie. I enjoyed Steve and Evelyn so fucking much. They were totally the best part. The rest of the actors are pretty good, except Chris Kattan, who is terrible in everything he's ever been in. Very obnoxious most of the time but thanks to William Malone's directing he's only semi-obnoxious in this movie. Damn good job there, Bill! Jeffrey Combs is great and I don't even think he says a word as the evil Ghost doctor. It would be hard for him to out do his obnoxiousness in Corky Romano which I have seen because of course I've fucking seen that shitty garbage! The special effects are pretty awesome for the most part except for one big CGI ghost that has NOT aged well in the last 22 years. The direction is pretty neat too, he puts scenes out of order to make it look like the movie itself is even haunted. I dunno that might not work for everyone but it put me on edge and I think it's kind of a neat thing to do for a Haunted house movie. Those are really supposed to mess with your head.
FINAL VERDICT: This is a very well done fun Haunted House movie. I really don't know what else to say execept that. It doesn't beat the original because well one of the complete rules of cinema is A movie that stars Chris Kattan can NEVER be as good as one that stars Vincent Price. I don't make the rules, I just abide by them!
STOP PROJECTING YOUR FEET LOVE ON POOR QUENTIN TARANTINO.
ReplyDeleteI like Chris Kattan on SNL though. It's why I saw Corky Romano in theaters. Yeah. He is not good outside of snl. I read his book where he blames everyone but himself for anything that ever happened to him or anyone near him but he sounds like an incredible drama queen.
Have you SEEN a Quentin Tarantino movie? Dude wants to fuck the shit out of feet. It's weird.
ReplyDeleteWhy would you read Chris Kattan's book? Read a book by a better comedian. Like anyone.
Because I eat up any memoir about SNL. So if a former cast member writes a book, I read it. My dream is to write for SNL, truly a dream because I could never be bothered to even start the process. You basically either need to go to Harvard and work on the Lampoon or do stand up in NYC and get noticed. I'll pass and stick to my career and life as is.
ReplyDeleteBut I'll soak up any angle and story of the inner workings that I can get. It's interesting to read the oral histories and the memoirs and put together the truth of situations apart from he said she said deals. Kattan was a prima donna no one respected who, after reading his book, was clearly to blame for any lack of respect, but he was a useful piece in a sketch that would get sketches on the air, which is the top priority of anyone there.
ReplyDeletelol how many foamy shit jokes would get on the air if you were a writer?
ReplyDeleteSNL is mostly lame and the people on it did better things in movies and other tv shows, but that's just me. Except Chris Farley. He made every sketch a masterpiece.
lol port at harvard would be a great snobs vs slobs comedy.