Movie Review #32: Return to Nuke Em High Vol 1 & Vol 2

 

Ahhh... Troma. You either love them as much as humanly possible or you want to squish Lloyd Kaufman's penis into a gooey mush. Personally I love Lloyd Kaufman and hope that his penis is safe all the time. Troma for the people not in the known is both in the game of movie distribution  and movie making. Lloyd Kaufman has been making movie since 1969. His first movie was some weirdo art house shit. I would actually be interested in watching it to be completely fair. He worked on several big name studios. He worked at Cannon Films before they were owned by those wild Israelis Golan-Globus. He created the Toxic Avenger. He is a cooler Jewish man than Woody Allen.

Class of Nuke Em High was probably the second Troma film I ever saw after The Toxic Avenger. I believe this was when I found Capital Video, a video store found pretty much in Downtown St. John's, Newfoundland. It had every single film you could want to rent AND was relatively close to my house. If you wanted James Bond, they had all his films. If you wanted a boring ass Woody Allen film you could find it there. You wanted wrestling videos. I'm sure they had enough to choke a horse with. They had porn just out on display. Fuck the whole putting in the back door. Leave it all hangin out. Anyway Class of Nuke 'Em High is pretty fucking amazing. Sadly Class of Nuke 'Em High Part 2 didn't have the same feel to it. I have never seen Class of Nuke 'Em High Part 3, I know I feel that I've disappointed you all with that information.

Return to Nuke 'Em High Vol 1/2  is a return to well Nuke Em High. Boy howdy they filled this movie with every damn thing you could imagine just like Troma usually does. The plot is wild and all over the place so let's get down to talking about it. Okay The Power Planet from the original movies has now been replaced with a Organic Food Factory, which puts nuclear waste (and people) into their tacos which end up turning the Glee Club into evil freaks. Anyway there's a girl with her own blog trying to take down the Organic Food Factory because of all their evil deeds. She ends up falling in love with a rich girl. They make sweet love and because of a duck rape (her pet duck was shoved in her mouth face first).

Her pet duck had radioactive goo all over him so they get turned into radioactive creatures... for like one scene. But it's a great scene! One of the girls also ends up giving birth to a duck baby because of the duck rape. I uh did not expect to be writing the words duck rape so many times even though this IS a Troma film. The owner of the Organic Food Factory ends up wanting the nuclear farts of the teenagers who ate the nuclear tacos because they keep him young. One side effect is if you don't keep getting farts you turn into a monster, which ends up happening. The owner is also played by Lloyd Kaufman and he's pretty wild. The Lloyd Kaufman monster, the lesbians, their friends and the duck who has been fully mutated into a man duck thing all congregate at Nuke 'Em High. Pretty much all of the bad guys and monsters die. 

FINAL VERDICT: If you like Troma, you will probably enjoy these two movies. More happens in them than I mention but thats a quick run down written by a lazy blogger. Anyway this movie has some stuff that I felt was funny and memorable and all that and some stuff that didn't really work at all. I know it's Troma but all those jokes about transgender people are like really outdated and boring. I don't want to start an argument of what you can and cannot joke about but if we are going to joke about everything can we at least get a new joke? I did like most of the fourth wall breaking meta jokes. Still you get to see Stan Lee, Lloyd Kaufman's wife, the original Toxic Avenger before he became the Toxic Avenger AND The Angry Video Game Nerd get stuck in a bad video game.