Movie Review #2: Assault on Death Mountain (Shadow Warriors II) (1999)

 

Shannon Tweed is the most famous human being from Newfoundland. Second is probably Gordon Pinsent. Shannon Tweed is famous for starring in B-movies like this one and showing her boobies. Gordon Pinsent is famous for voicing Babar the Elephant. That's enough to get me to like you and watch your movies. Other people might be picky but I ain't. Anyway,  From now on, movie reviews will be of two things... a movie starring Shannon Tweed or a movie from this list on letterboxd so get ready for a lot of reviews of erotic thrillers and weird movies no one should ever watch.

Anyway, I decided to start with a movie that stars Shannon Tweed but ISN'T an erotic thriller because I wanted to annoy FlowingMindspin because I'm a jerk. The movie of course is Assault on Death Mountain . The Second of uh.. two Shadow Warriors movies (Why the second movie you ask, It's because it was mislabeled by whoever uploaded the download I MEAN TOTALLY LEGAL MOVIE THAT I OWN A COPY OF REALLY as the first movie) This movie was a Made for TV action film that is honestly pretty fun. As you can see the movie also stars Apollo Creed and Terry Bollea (he's not on the cover but Martin Kove is also in the movie!) 

This movie is a bit lopsided to be fair. The first thirty minutes have the Shadow Warriors save a child who was kidnapped by her father, and he lives on a mountain. So I guess that's the Death Mountain they are Assaulting in the movie's alternative title (which is much better than Shadow Warriors). They of course save the kid but then Hulk Hogan freaks out because of memories that have hit him. He assures the other Shadow Warriors that a man called Sarkissian who helped Saddam Hussien do terrible shit in the Gulf War is still alive and has had plastic surgery. Hogan goes off to try to find a guy who's working with Sarkissian and the other Shadow Warriors go to find Martin Kove's character Andy Jones who works for the government. Hogan gets captured by the Terrorist and finds out that yes, Sarkissian is still alive and he poisons him. Hogan has to get the antidote and get his revenge on Sarkissian for the death of his men in the Gulf War.

It's a bit lopsided but I'm not some fancy reviewer, I just wanted a movie that had some fun actors in it and some action. It's got fists fights, shoot outs and even a cat fight with Shannon Tweed! It's pretty much what you want from a low budgeted late 90s action film. I mean I wish Sarkissian was played by a more enjoyable to watch actor but I guess that's the only thing I really dislike about this movie. Dude is kinda boring.

FINAL VERDICT: This is a fun watch if you like any of the actors I mentioned. It might not be as great if you don't like any of them, but if you don't like Apollo Creed you can literally kiss both sides of my butthole.