I love this AD. Love it. I love the freaky big headed surfer who looks like he's doing some kind of squat because he has to poop. I like the fact that he looks like he's stoned OUT of his mind. I do not think you are supposed to surf like that but I DO NOT KNOW BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER SURFED. The Ocean kind of scares me. Anyway. I love that POWER BLADE 2 and LITTLE SAMSON are in the same AD. It's really great. I also love that HIT THE ICE was never released but got put in an ad. I have no idea what those game boy games are like. Maybe one day I will review every Gameboy game. Who knows? It's not like I have anything else better to do with my precious God given time on this planet. Anyway this AD rules and I want to own the magazine or comic it comes from. The person on eBay wants $20 for this. Remember when I said that a classmate I was friendly with called me a stupid idiot for wanting this stuff? WHOS THE STUPID IDIOT NOW BILLY YOU SHIT!??
Little Ninja Brothers is a game I really want to get into. It's a weird little RPG kinda game. You get into battles and then it turns into the game KUNG FU HEROES that I reviewed a little while ago. You fight all the enemies in the area and then that helps you level up. The biggest problem with this game is that I have no fucking clue what to do. The NPCs talk about random bad guy that you have to stop and other nonsense but never give me a clue as what to do. I got to some mini game that I could not play at all and lost. I don't know if I even need to play this fucking mini game! There's a great little game in here and I really need to deep dive into it but where the hell do you go to help you in a LITTLE NINJA BROTHERS deep dive? I will figure this game out and if I have to do that mini game I probably will just cry because it was one that wants you to hit the game pad so much that your thumb would explode and not exist anymore. I want to keep my thumgs LITTLE NINJA BROTHERS. Anyway I'm sitll gonna put this in the good pile because I really think this probably could be CULTURE BRAINS best game. I don't want to be called biased towards ELECTRO BRAIN!!!
This game or Blaster Master might be my favorite NES game. I really do not know which one to choose. It makes me sad that I would recommend this all over the place back in the day (and weirdly be a NES HIPSTER and sass Super Mario Brothers 3 and other popular titles and be like PLAY LITTLE SAMSON JERK. I don't get too embarrassed by my past but this still embarrass the hell out of me). I just wanted to share this and other cool underrated games. I had no idea that people would push the price of it up to over 2 THOUSAND DOLLARS. I'm sorry, even though I doubt I really did much in the end. Also here is my discussion on LITTLE SAMSON RARITY. It is not rare, thanks to the Newfoundland rule. I had a copy I bought from cracked8ball for fifty dollars. Someone else had a copy selling it for 50 dollars. I know a guy who has a copy that was sealed but he opened it or got it that way. I have no idea. The fact four copies of this game came to my small ass Canadian province that no one outside of Canada (and most people in Canada) do not realize is a thing. Now to discuss the actual game. It's fucking great. The music and graphics are wonderful. The character designs all look great. The fact that all four characters (Little Samson, Golem, Dragon and Mouse) are actually needed to beat the game and you have to pretty much play as all of them is a great thing. It's like Bucky O Hare in that way. I like games that give you different guys to play as. I might just like Super Mario Bros 2 the most for that reason, even if you could beat that game with just one guy. This is a great game but no it is not worth $2 grand. The reasons I went back to the NES were to get that SWEET NOSTALGIA FIX and to enjoy legitimately great games like this one for semi-cheap. I cannot wait for the day when all of this stuff is considered dumb and worthless again. It has to happen.
I do not know where Portnoyd lands on this game and I'm kind of curious. Personally I fucking hate Lode Runner with a passion of a ten thousand fiery suns. No I don't care that it's an early game. This game would be a stinky turd under the Christmas Tree in 1986 or whenever the FUCK it came out. I do not care. This is a bad ugly annoying game. I don't care about the graphics or music, both are fine for when they came out. The problems are such. The enemies seem to run to you like they want to make sweet love to your bootyhole. The getting rid of blocks for the enemies to run into is annoying as you have to set up the right place because if YOU fall into the damn block it's pretty much game over (or a warp. wild). You have to pick up random bits of gold and then run to the exit. Not even nice enough to just stop the stage and load the new one. nope you gotta run to the exit. Oh and then they add in blocks you can't remove becuase way to ruin THE FUCKING ONLY GOD DAMNED ATTACK YOUR SHITTY ASSHOLE CHARACTER HAS GAME THANKS ALOT. I do not think I've ever seen past stage 1 until to day. SOmehow I got to stage 5. I do not believe the person who runs the website TAKE ON THE NES LIBRARY. I do not believe you beat this game. I do not believe anyone can. I do not believe God HIMSELF COULD BEAT THIS FUCKING MISERABLE PILE OF SHIT. I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate HATE HATE HATE HATE LODE RUNNER. I hope I never have to play this MISERABLE SHIT ASS GAME EVER AGAIN.
The Lone Ranger is yet another game based on something from decades prior. Were The Lone Ranger reruns popular enough to warrant this games existence? I'm not totally sure but I am glad this game exists, even if it does have it's problems. You play The Lone Ranger who is in search of Butch Cavendish who also wants to kidnap Warren G Harding or some old fucker from the past. I don't know. Anyway this game gives you a lot of bang for your buck. You get over the top stages, you get 3D Maze levels like Golgo 13 (done better here, sorry damien) you get side scrolling stages and you get zapper shooting stages. The big problem is that this game is pretty long and you really should have had a save function instead of a password. You get a password after you beat a level and once you get to level 5 (out of 8 I think) the levels get PRETTY big. A save that would have known you were half way through level 5 would have worked better than that. Still a very unique experience and it's Konami so you know it's good. It's just that the challenge is pretty all over the place and a save function would have been better than a password. I'm still putting this one in the GOOD section as it's overall really GOOD.
Hey, I know I've said this before but I think this might be the last game I can say this for. This is the last sports related NES game I had to play. I don't think it ever worked on my emulator and I don't think I ever took it off my shelf the second I bought it. It just went in between LONE RANGER and LOW G MAN where it belongs. We respect the MIKE ETLER RARITY LIST AROUND HERE SON. Gonna have to talk to that ANTSEEZEE guy. I was very confused by this game. I thought you had to make a giant loop around the screen but you don't. Now that I know what to do it seems like an interesting puzzle game and I'm going to probably come back to this post later on and comment on it in the comments. PORT SHOULD I BOTHER TRYING ANY MORE LOOPZ (we need to bring back the using Z instead of S to seem cool again. It would make me feel like I'm in 1992 again and that everything is good and not frightening)
I think finding out how rare a game honestly is might just be impossible. I say this becuase Low G Man is rated a B on Mike Elter's list. That is wild becuase Newfoundland had copies of this game POPPING OUT OF FUCKING EVERYWHERE. If a place sold old Retro NES games they had a copy of Low G Man. Every flea market table, every fucking game store, pawn shop or whatever. If you could It's a good thing though because if you want to own a pretty enjoyable NES platformer you could have easily found a copy, or like fifteen. You play as the Low Gravity Man who has to fight a bunch of WEIRD JERK ALIENS to save his planet. He can stun the aliens and then jump on them and JAM A FUCKIN JAVELIN OR SOMETHING LIKE IT INTO THEIR HEAD. Low G Man is Charles Bronson's great great great great great great great great grandson. I say this because this game takes place in THE FUTURE!!!!!!! WOAH! FUTURE! It's a well done time by KID. They might not have made this game as wild as Kickmaster or the GI Joe games but it's still a solid time. Only problem is that I think you have to beat this game like 4 times to really see the ending and that's way to damn much, even in like 1991 or whenever this game first came out.
GOOD GAMES: 170
bBAD GAMES: 133
OKAY GAMES: 58
GAMES IMPATIENT: 6
GAMES OVERALL: 367
CATCH THE TAITO WAVE. GB and Genesis Hit the Ice were released FOR YOUR INFORMATION.
ReplyDeleteI fully support you moving onto GB next. I have been DIPPING into the LIBRARY and it's a decent amount of GOOD and FUN stuff.
Fun fact: there are a non zero amount of assholes on Facebook groups who would murder that surfer for all of those games. Those six games are worth $12,000 USD complete or $45,000 USD sealed. Yeah. Fun fact: Power Blade 2 sealed is worth $13,000 and DNG paid... $2... a sealed copy in 1999. Regardless, this ad is worth $20 no question.
I have a very strong nostalgia for Little Ninja Brothers. I got it as a "hey you got braces" gift. Which is funny as hey, your parents paid thousands and here's a $60 game so they pay more. Anyway, I don't know if my kids need braces, my son apparently doesn't but my daughter might. Not looking forward to that fucking bill. When I had braces, before or after they had me use this thing, I remember it distinctly, it was called a "bionator" which sounds like a fucking grenade. It was a big hunk of dental plastic with retainer like pieces on it. I think I had to wear it at night... or during the day, I don't know, it was the most unreasonable thing imaginable. You couldn't eat or talk with it. I never used it & I don't blame anyone who does the same.
This brings me to the whole orthodontic business. Hey, straight teeth. Hey, huge bills and obnoxious things in your mouth. I mean, what the fuck. This is the best we could come up with? I don't know if you had braces but honestly, fuck them sideways. There's an orthodontist out here and his dental office is in a fucking department store sized building next to a HomeGoods. They sponsor everything kid related. This asshole must be making fucking billions. Off teeth. Fuck him.
Anyway, Little Ninja Brothers. Having this game growing up I played it a lot. It took me a while to get anywhere in it because the game is kind of obtuse, both by itself and by its translation, as you found, and there was little to no direction in game magazines at the time to use as supplement. I did eventually beat it but it was a long time coming primarily because of the shit tasting passwords in it. It's an interesting blend of Kung Fu Heroes and Magic of Scherezade's RPG parts.
Little Samson is very GOOD and FUN. The only consolation to the assholic price is that for once, the game is actually worth playing. There are so many expensive games which are pure shit but OMFGRARE hysteria. Fun fact: we paid the same amount for our copies. MSRP is completely fair for this game because it's worth it. It's funny you mention Bucky OHare, because while Bucky is excellent, Little Samson does the variety cast approach so much better than Bucky does. Bucky is a top 50 game but Little Samson is a top 10. I hope this stuff all bottoms out too. I would stand to lose a lot of OMG VALUE but fuck you, if this is how you look at it, you don't deserve to have this stuff.
Ok so Lode Runner. Here's the problem. It's like from 1983. And for 1983, it's incredible. But for even 1988 or whenever this came out, it's fucking tedious and miserable. I have tried multiple times to get into and every time, I have hated myself. I won't be as harsh as your review but I agree with you. It's not fun at all.
Lone Ranger is fucking weird. It's like a game made for our boomer parents but like, it's sold to kids like us. It is a pretty incredible game because Konami... for me, it's always felt like a western version of Bayou Billy if that makes any sense. I agree on the save function, maybe a if you're bored BLOOG post could be the top 5 NES games with the worst password system. Tbh, 2 of the top 5 are in this post alone. But yes, this is a GOOD game. Underappreciated probably because of said boomer subject matter but again, Konami could rarely do wrong on NES.
ReplyDeleteLoopz is a puzzle game lol, IS CLAW COPY AND PASTING HIS REVIEWS. CHEATER CHEATER CHEATER CHEATER CHEATER CHEATER CHEATER CHEATER CHEATER CHEATER. Lol I don't care but that's a funny thing calling this a sports game. Anyway, this is a very fine game, kind of great value Pipe Dreams. I rented back in the day and enjoyed my time with it as I did later on when I got it with collecting. Sadly, this is probably a top 5 Mindscape game which says a lot about the bowel movements that Mindscape pooped out.
I love that Low G Man has passed the NEWFIE COLLECTING TEST because another FUN FACT is, this is literally the first boxed game I found collecting. Back then, by my mom's place, there was a Salvation Army, which got in good stuff regularly. And my first summer after college I found this. I still have it as is. The Salv Army is now apartments because lol that's what always happens. It is also inexplicably dirt common... I agree. I rented this back in the day and loved its vibe. And it's KID so you better love that vibe, SONNY. Yes, I have copted SONNY. The game is HARD after the first few words, but who cares, somehow KID figured out when no one else did that NES games are full of JUMPING so why not have a game where you jump REALLY HIGH. Genius.
Wow 43,000 dollars. You could have bought the NES collection and the SNES collection and the Genesis collection back in 2000 and have A SHIT TON OF MONEY LEFT OVER.
ReplyDeleteWe used to have several SALLY ANNS (as we call them around here) and now we just have one. i never got to go to one that was downstairs. the one by the mall is now a comic book store...
lol port got braces. I will take this time to tell you about a Canadian Cartoon called Braceface form like the year 2002. I do not think I'll be wtaching it but it stared a 13 year old kid who is called BRACEFACE when she gets braces. She was voiced by ALICIA SILVERSTONE yes, cher from Clueless. Her braces would effect electrical shit some times. It was not very good.
I need to put in the time for Little Ninja Brothers and also Magic of Sheckdrkencerirazede too. Both feel pretty obtuse.
Wait PIPE DREAMS COMES AFTER LOOPZ YOU JERK. I do want to play it more now that I know what to do. I also forgot about Pipe Dreams lol.
I really wonder if stuff like GILLIGANS ISLAND and THE LONE RANGER was an attempt to like double dip with boomer parents and also kids who enjoyed gilligans island. I wonder if any parents played these games.
Low G Man really does not feel like it should be a game that gets a B on the Mike Etler's rarity list.
Did DNG open up that Power Blade 2 to play it. I mean I would have but i think it would be funny that it's just sitting in his garage. I wonder what happened to that guy. He was something else.