Comic Review #104: Mockingbird #8 (2016)

 

Well, it's back to the era of WOKE MARVEL COMICS. So let's discuss, it's 2016 and I'm probably at home happily reading, I dunno, DC Comics Presents #67 (thats the one where Superman teams up with Santa Claus to stop the Toyman) from like the mid-1980s. I don't have any idea what new comics are like or anything. I sign on to YouTube to see a video about new Marvel Comics and how they are so political these days and so left wing and terrible. I end up getting weirdly hooked on this guys very stupid videos about new comics. I go out and actually pick up new comics and find myself enjoying them and finding out that he left a lot of stuff out of the reviews that I just felt was not fair. I end up arguing with these people who now call themselves comicsgate for way too long. Now, I don't care if you like or dislike these comics. I don't even care if you think they are too conservative. No, I was bothered because of how shitty they treated the people who just wrote comics they didn't like. They would call them pedophiles and trannies and even send death threats. All over comic books. The saddest thing of it all was that so many of these guys didn't even read comics before hand. It was just a single nudge towards left wing politics that caused an insane culture war that is still going on through the internet these days. I don't argue any more on twitter but I spend too much time just watching what's happening. It's wild because they are now tearing themselves a part. It only took ten years for it to finally go away. Now if we could just get rid of their weird offspring of YouTubers yelling about woke movies because a woman shows up or something.

Anyway I was always curious about this comic. I mentioned before that I enjoyed several comics they got all in a tizzy about. Like The Unstoppable Wasp, or Ms. Marvel or Lady Thor (Lady Thor is probably the third best era or run for the Character. At least I think so). So because I ended up liking these comics more than say something that Rob Liefeld ever made people would call me a fake fan. Gatekeeping is really stupid especially when it comes to comics, are you going to come to my house and smack a Brave and the Bold comic written by Bob Haney out of my hand? Really weird unhinged people in that group. I hope they never find this blog. I like being able to smack talk them without having to argue about anything. I really should look to see if there was even a way to block people on blogger but I'm just hoping no one actually finds this blog because they haven't in 5 years and I've written almost 500 posts about crap I'm sure someone would google. Anyway, I felt like this was the time to finally sit down and read this Mockingbird comic and hoo boy, it's a big ol' turd. I'm not going to yell at the woman who wrote it or send death threats but I'm not going to lie and say that this was one of the SJW WOKE MARVEL comics that I enjoyed reading. Because I didn't.

This story starts out weirdly confusing and ends with zombies. It's told in a weird manner only comics could but it's not much fun to read. One part tells stuff that happened earlier but whatever. Mockingbird has some illness or some shit. I just read it and the entire damn first seven issues just floated out of my head. I can remember comics I have not read since I was a damn child but like 20 minutes after reading these I can't remember shit. That's not good. Also I just know Howard the Duck was in it and the comedy fell flat. The person who wrote this tried way way too hard in every aspect of the story. It's also overtly political, talking about feminism. It's just so on the nose that it's really not well done. The character of Mockingbird (one of the lesser known heroes that I always liked) did not feel like the same character from those older 1980s stories and I'm not a big fan of that. The worst part is that it's really really boring.

However the issue that caused everyone in that little group of weirdos to shit their pants was this one. Mockingbird #8. They retconned an older story and I'm somewhere in the middle on retcons. I mean they range from pretty good to awful horse shit. Bucky dying at the end of World War II was a retcon because Stan Lee thought kid sidekicks were stupid as fuck. I would say that did a world of good for the character of Captain America. The retcon here was that she willingly cheated on Hawkeye with Lincoln Slade (a man who later on died because she didn't save him from falling, IIRC, It's hard to keep up with whats a retcon and what actually happened in the original issue and I'm too lazy to pull that comic out of wherever it is in my house at the moment). It uh, makes her out to be really bad because in the original issues he sexually assaulted her and you could probably be like "yeah I can see why she didn't save him after that". Her just cheating on Hawkeye with this guy and then not saving her makes her look like a fuckin crazy woman. Unpleasant to say the least. Yeah. Something about Mercorgis saving her and ghost pirates that end up being feminists somehow. This lady's comedy is so try hard she'd be fucking perfect for the new Deadpool writer. She could try to do Lobo too because he also fucking sucks. Yeah, I said it and I won't take it back. 

FINAL THOUGHTS: a dumb series of stories with a dumb retcon that just makes the character worse off. A waste of time and money. I will never read this again. I think I will try to find my copy of DC Comics Presents #67. I might show it to my nieces. Anyway have fun and if you are comicsgate piss off back to twitter, shithead.