Hello boys and girls and everyone else out there. It is time to bring back something I did early on in this blog. Like 2020-2021. Which was to review characters and stories that involved people who were GAY. or ASIAN. or BLACK. or a WOMAN. and they were new characters. I did this because they got discussed all over the internet and I believe mostly unfairly. So many of these comics, like every single one of them was trashed and treated poorly. I cannot believe that every single story and character failed so I read some and liked them, of course I just reviewed a Care Bears Thanksgiving special positivity so you really shouldn't listen to me when it comes to well anything. I'm just bringing this back because 1.) I wanna see what new stories and characters they have brought out and 2.) to stick it to people who just want to make it impossible for new stories to be inclusive. Will it always work? No, but stories should still be inclusive. So I'm going to review MARVEL VOICES PRIDE #1 (Vol. 2).
This is a bunch of mini stories, mostly about the character and not punch bang boom. So It'll be different for me too. I have read this before and I'll read it again too. I thought the majority of these specials were pretty good. Let's see if they still hold up. The writers of the stories in this comic are Alyssa Wong, Christopher Cantwell, Danny Lore or Andrew Wheeler. Do not ask me if they are apart of the LGBT community or not because I do not know. I do believe Alyssa Wong is trans nonbinary. I do not really get the non binary thing but I also don't get why Friends got on the top 100 Rolling Stones sitcoms list (which really pisses me off) , doesn't mean it's not a real thing, it just means your pal Claw is stunted in Arrested Development or something.
So let's get to the stories, baby!
Story #1: Starts with Loki being chained upside down and several people are yelling at him. He is trying to tell people that he is not the Prince of Lies anymore but the Prince of Stories. They are not buying it so he gets into a story with my two favorite BIG GAY RASCALS. Teddy and Billy. Teddy is connected to the Kree and the Skrulls and keeps them from fighting. I'm sure that all Kree and Skrulls love that. They are giant assholes and like to be giant assholes to everyone. I'm sure this Teddy being king will last forever. Billy is uh... Scarlet Witches son who's backstory is so fucking weird and convoluted that I would start the melting of my brain if I were to try to put it all together. Trust me, it's fucking goofy. Billy tells him about the Panic Button they put on everyones phones (Everyone meaning the Young Avengers)
America Chavez a character that has gotten a ton of hate made me laugh when she used too much super strength and broke the plate and now her pancakes have plate pieces stuck to them. She says she couldn't contact anyone else and that her powers are on the fritz. Is that the most used story for Superheroes? Their powers being messed up? I think so. They mess up a little bit but end up where Loki is after all. I wonder what kind of story he was actually telling to keep what I assume are his exes, which includes a Horse man and a chicken called Mr. Cluck. Loki is a sick fuck. He also fucked a hot fire woman. He likes to feel the BURN.
Anyway he literally just grabs a knife and escapes exclaiming YOU MADE IT! They start fighting and my favorite bit is Teddy just consoling the Horse man. He was very confused looking in that first panel. Anyway it turns out Loki started this whole thing because they weren't picking up their phones to hang out. Loki you mischievous little fuck. Don't traumatize the Horse man ever again!
Story #2: This one involves Hercules who is now like Loki an indivudial who enjoys kissing ladies and men hanging out with HIS MAN LOVER Marvel Boy. I like to think that Marvel Boy is the top because him plowing Hercules just makes me laugh because I'm a juvenile child. They are fighting Kree Soldiers that have been given Olympian power. They discuss how their relationship is weird because they are so different from one another. They meet up with the SUPREME MEDUSA. which is a mix of the Supreme Intelligence and Medusa. Has the power to turn Armadas into stone. Hercules then goes out of the protective square thing Marvel Boy can make. saying "It attacks the mind! I need not worry! I barely use mine!" and then Marvel Boy goes "why am I attracted to the most intelligent women and the stupidest men?" He ends up saving the day by just it seems killing the Supreme Medusa which they didn't want to do? This ending feels very rushed and I can't say that's a good thing.
Story #3: This story involves pretty obscure Captain America character D-Man or Demolition Man. He appeared for a good amount of time in Captain America stories and then just disappeared. I don't remember him saying much about his sexuality so they pretty much have him be gay now. Can't say this really bothers me. Rectons happen in ongoing stories as long as the Marvel Universe has gone on. He still seems to be his old chipper self which is really more important to me than anything else. I liked the character before hand and I still like him now. Also I might get YELLED AT but folx is uh not necessary. I get that transgender people (which this story is about) want inclusive non gendered language and I can't really get angry at that but Folks the word Folks was already non gendered. You didn't have to add an x in there duders.
Anyway this story involves a bunch of new characters. One with a minor universe trapped within them. Another who can make people sad with sad stories. and another guy who likes to burn things WITH HIS MIND. His name is Good Arson. I like him. He's already a beautiful goof of a man. Spider Man is fighting with a bunch of female versions of his old foes and gets thrown through the window. All of them had been in comics previous to this except for the Dr Octopus from the Miles Morales Spider-Verse movie. She's in the 616 now because the writer liked her? I guess so. Not great writing there. I don't care if you make a female version for every Spider Man bad guy just tell me how they exist. Dangit. The writer wins me back by making a terrible joke about bear hunting. You see D-Man is considered a bear because he's big and hairy. Gay people are wild. I love them. They all team up and beat up the lady bad guys. Lady Scorpion freaks out when she finds out that this is the LGBT youth center! She screams Oh no they won't let me back at Gingers! I guess Lady Scorpion isn't gettin to eat any pussy any time soon. Spider Man then says Good Arson's name is flaming. I do think this story could have been better in some areas but it also feels like BABY'S FIRST COMIC BOOK SCRIPT, so I'm not going to really poop on them. I did like several jokes.
Story #4: Now we get to some pretty damn obscure characters. One called Venomm (not to be confused with Venom) who was someone Black Panther fought in the 1970s. I really should finally read those Black Panther comics from the 1970s. Portnoyd will probably call me racist for not reading them sooner. Anyway He is fighting some guys with his snakes (that's his thing. Snakes and snake stuff) that are looking for Wakanda.. Anyway he kicks the shit out of them but is found out by Taku. Taku takes care of the last guy and Venomm says his gift was ruined and we see that he had thrown Taku a surprise romantic evening. Aw, how sweet. You get to smack some guys around and then hug and kiss your m
Story #5: This story involves the Guardians of the Galaxy member Moondragon. She is dreaming that she is a BADASS BIKER BABE because she feel asleep during the 1967 underground exploitation classic Motor Cycle Psychos. They only realize when Phylla Vel tries to wake her up that she won't wake up. Apparently the Grandmaster is behind this. That kinda feels a bit weird, but okay. I mean he does like to play games with people so I can see him playing with someones mind while they sleep. Anyway inside the dream BADASS DRAGON BIKER MOONDRAGON talks about the mayor setting them up, which is what they were talking about while she was sleeping. The BADASS BIKERS go to fight the Mayor. Which is the Grandmaster. MOONDRAGON THE BADASS BIKER BITCH gets everyone there to join in on beating his candy ass. What wrestler said that a lot? I forget. was that Stone Cold Steve Austin? I can never remember that stuff. Anyway the Grandmaster gets his ass handed to him and Moondragon wakes up. The Guardians realize that the Commodore, the Grandmasters ship is near and get ready to fight in in the real world. Moondragon then goes GUESS ITS TIME TO RUMBLE.
FINAL THOUGHTS: I had a pretty good time reading this. All the stories were at least decent, with the first one and the fifth one being my favorites. The third one probably could have used a look over and was probably the worst of the lot. Still I had a good time with these comic books and will probably do it again with DC Pride. Portnoyd will yell about something like a maniac.
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