It's getting very hard to find images to go to each of these posts. Maybe I should just use a fun image of one of the games I'm talking about in this post, but this time I'm going to talk about a place that Blockbuster DIDN'T overtake everything in. Yes, St. John's Newfoundland. I mean yes, we had like three Blockbusters, but we also had three Jumbo Videos, three Allan's Videos, and like 9249 other Video Stores. Seriously we had a LOT of video stores for such a small place. Not to mention all the places that used to rent videos like Grocery Stores and Convince Stores. I never really went to Blockbuster that much. $5 for one old movie rental when I could go down the street to rent 7 movies for 7 dollars and 77 cents at Allan's Video. They also got rid of a lot of the weird b-movies that I would have rented for 82 copies of Lord of the Rings or some garbage like that. fuck Lord of the Rings. Hobbits are boring shitheads. There I said it. Anyway I don't have the nostalgia for Blockbuster that a lot of people did. Allan's Video, Jumbo Video and Capital Video for life though. Anyway I'm very good at talking about things that are not related to the topic at hand like todays topic which is NES games. Anyway let's get to a next six games.
I try to be easier on unlicensed games. They were clearly programmed by two people and not a team. They were clearly coded on a almost broken computer. They were clearly programmed very quickly and cheaply. They were clearly coded in a dirty room that smelled like bourbon and sadness (just like portnoyd's game room). I also find them to be weirdly inspirational. Sure a lot of the games were not good but they wanted in on the NES action and they tried. Something weirdly respectable about that. They were neat weird oddities that I will never understand why NEW COLLECTOR JERKS don't want them. It's not like there aren't a lot of shitty shitty SHITTY games that Nintendo gave an okay too. I don't completely hate Death Race despite all of its many many flaws. The game clearly has an idea it wants to put across, it just doesn't work very well. This game clearly has many flaws. It's hard to control your car to run people over and the game also wants you to do it fast because it sends a LOT of guys after you to kill you. It just comes off as annoying. I don't hate this game but I can't put it in the good section.
This game is a fucking god damned nightmare. None of the games in this six are very good (except one) but this is the clear winner of shittiest game in the lot. This game might have some of the worst controls ever. The character is slow, clunky and hard to move around. Another big problem is this is one of those games that felt like it had to have 85429408290492380409234 enemies in a small area. Enemies that are pretty damn hard to kill. The levels are also poorly designed and you'll probably get lost. I don't want to talk about this shitty garbage any more. Fuck you Deathbots.
This is the only good game in this lot of games. It is one I don't think I played before but I really can't tell what I have and haven't played anymore. It's a simple arcade type game where you fly in either direction shooting at enemies. They shoot back and kidnap guys on the ground that you also have to save. It's a very very very very simple game but really sometimes the very very very very simple games are some of the most fun. I cannot say much about Defender II but I can say that I had a lot of fun playing it. Which is a good thing.
I really should go back and now rewrite those earlier reviews where I say that there's only one game that's any good in this lot but EHHHHHHHHHHHHHH TOO LAZY. Anyway, Deja Vu is a NES Classic. Yes I know it was made for DOS or the Stupido Computers but I never played those damn versions and I'm probably never going too. Sorry but the only people who play DOS these days are Damien C and his friend WarMECH. Deja Vu is a really really good point and click adventure game where you have to find clues that prove that you did not kill someone. I forget who. It's some lady. I love the music in all three of these Kemco Point and Clickers. People should call Point and Click games Point and Clickers. It's a fun name fo them. Anyway the only problem with this game is that when you get to the end you have to make sure to throw out ANY eviendence that may make you look bad without throwing out stuff you need. It's annoying and stupid BUT using the Use command on your character will never, ever stop being funny. I am a child in a grown man's body.
There you have it. Six more games.
GOOD GAMES: 71
BAD GAMES: 67
OKAY OR GAMES THAT HAVEN'T AGED WELL OR I DON'T REALLY KNOW HOW TO PLAY BECAUSE IM A DOPE: 20
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