Ranking and Reviewing Every 80s Cartoon That I Possibly Can, Part 2 of an Unending Misery that I put myself in.

 

Well, this WAS supposed to show up like a few days after the first one but I just didn’t feel like it. You are in fact reading not only one of the last blogs that get updated on the internet ever, but one of the worst blogs on the internet ever and one of the blogs that get updated wildly infrequently. I hope to finally update this as much as I did when it first started because it IS fun and it DOES take my mind off things which is always a good thing.

Anyway in the early 1980s Marvel teamed up with Friz Freleng and David DePatie with their company Freleng-DePatie Enterprises, and by teamed up I mean bought the company and created an animation arm to their comic book company. This was HUGE in the 1980s. Not only did it do GI Joe and Transformers with Sunbow they did Muppet Babies and like several cartoons on their own comic book characters. Spider Man and The Hulk. They lasted until 1993 when they were renamed New World Animation because the guy at the time who owned Marvel owned New World Entertainment, which yes at one point was owned by Roger Corman AND owned Marvel. The world of who owns what is fucking wild. (They were then bought out by some other company that I do not care about and don’t care enough about to read up on for this blog.)

The Incredible Hulk was the first animated series they made. At least I think it was. Honestly all three of them came out at the same time I believe and I don’t know who came out first. I don’t care either, I’m just posting some trash for portnoyd to yell at because he’s the biggest party pooper who ever lived. Ever. Portnoyd could party poop an Andrew W.K. party (I barely know who this guy is except he married that very pretty lady from the terrible sitcom and made a song about partying.) Anyway, this was a cartoon I was planning on talking about on my Youtube Channel where I talked about every Marvel cartoon pre-2000 but my taking on more than I can chew and also bad editing skills just ruined that YouTube channel. The fact no one watched was even worse. This blog got more views than it and that’s really damn sad. Maybe if I as a middle aged man yelled about the new Snow White movie and the main lady actress whos biggest crime was getting hired for said movie and uh didn’t love the original film. These guys don’t go over how HARRISON FORD FUCKING HATES STAR WARS but this woman’s luke warm response to the original movie was enough to make them cry about her for three fucking years. YouTube is a cesspit like the rest of the damn internet.

I was going to go over one episode and talk about this random character, A gargoyle named Salvatorre who was a friend to a hunchbacked man who hated the Hulk for some reason I’m forgetting. It would have been a hoot and a half! Anyway the episode was a hoot and honestly this entire cartoon was a hoot. It only lasted for a season (and still got in the obligatory character or characters shrink to the size of a bug episode that I’m pretty sure every cartoon made between 1979 and 2000 had to have like legally. It showed up fucking everywhere man!) but was very entertaining. It shows some early work of Paul Dini and other individuals. A very worthwhile cartoon that is clearly going to straight to the top of this very small list.

Hey it’s Spider Man! Getting this image had me find out that the Spider Man cartoons were first! Huzzah for doing absolutely no work and hoping someone would read it. This show starred Iceman of the X-Men and Firestar for the original character that was then brought into the comics! Neat-o. I don’t know why they didn’t go with the Human Torch but I like Firestar and I like this cartoon quite a bit. It’s a very worthwhile cartoon but Spider-Man cartoons are usually worthwhile. I am going to take a second to get all pissy about the new Spider-Man cartoon but not because they race swapped or gender swapped random characters you never heard of before (some of which I never heard of before and I read too many fucking comic books!). I just don’t care about that stuff. Hell after 935824290 versions of Spider-Man that stuff could literally change up the world a little bit and make it feel a bit fresh. I’m complaining because the animation looks cheap (fucking hell Disney stop being cheap and doing weird animation with Marvel stuff). I like trying to make it look like Steve Ditko but I don’t think it works. Also fuck the idea of Spider Man being a influencer or wanting ot be one. Influencers helped ruin the internet and are now ruining the fucking real world and I do not want any fucking character saying they want to be one. Period.

So I think I should talk about the cartoon. The animation is pretty good for the time. the voice acting is pretty great and the plots are very fun and imaginative and you’ll get some weird choices for guest characters. I loved the weird episode with a man that I remember coming of as gay but who the hell really knows because I’m going off a memory of a year ago, but he gets the power of like Gods and can change everything. This was something Dr. Doom wanted and the guys last name was Frump. It would have been funny but alas I am too lazy and untalented for YouTube and people just literally yell into a microphone about Miles Morales being a race swap (which he uh isn’t but whatever) and get 620 4659305456390 views. If I had no dignity and didn’t like myself at least an iota I would probably do that too but again I don’t. Anyway this cartoon lasted for 3 seasons with reruns lasting for another 3. 24 episodes were made and they were pretty good.

Hey! This is the cartoon that made me want to come back to writing for this. So if you like reading this drivel and somehow even worse drivel in the comments by portnoyd then you really must be happy that this show existed. It’s pretty good but it’s the weakest of the three cartoons and I really don’t know why. It was still a lot of fun to watch but unlike the other two cartoons I did not finish watching every episode (I will, hopefully do that but I just didn’t finish it.) However the episode I’m going to talk about is fucking bonkers. Donald F Gult wrote it and it was called Arsenic and Aunt May (probably the best title for any episode of the three series!). It involves the Chameleon wanting to stop Spider-Man so he goes to Peter Parker’s aunt (it’s really embarrassing how these super villains with super powers can somehow create these world taking over plots but not realize there’s something more between Peter Parker and Spider Man) and pretends to be Uncle Ben in an attempt to get Spider-Man. He gets Aunt May to try to poison Spider-Man with arsenic. You really need to check this episode out because it’s pretty bonkers. I really like how bonkers they would let people go with cartoons of the past. It’s a great watch.

So the ranking list is now like this!

1. Inspector Gadget
2. Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends
3. Incredible Hulk
4. Spider-Man
5. Care Bears
6. Pac-Man