I wonder how weird the titles will get when I’m at like the Zs? Like what will the last parts title be? Finally I’m Done Reviewing All The NES games There are More Good Games than Just Mario 1,2, and 3 Joust you Fucker!” Will that be the title? I think so. I’m going to try to remember that title for the year 9062 when we are all in cyborg bodies waiting for the end of the world or something. Anyway, I decided to review some more games because well THIS set is actually quite good and has many of the games I want to gush over. It’s gonna be a good one. Even Portnoyd can’t argue over these games! The jerk!
Here we have a stone cold motherfucking classic NES title. A game that has a cool gimmick and is incredibly fun to use said gimmick. The character in this game can’t actually jump and has to use a bionic arm to swing around. I remember some guy complaining on some website that I visited decades ago about how hard it was to get this to work and I never really had that problem. The game works well with its concept. It’s not hard to get used too and I really gotta disagree with this game being put in their bad games section, however the majority of their bad games section was baffling. I think the website was called Sickos on Parade or something. I don’t care enough to look really. This game has great music, graphics and honestly a fair level of challenge. You also get to blow Hitler’s face up! How can you say no to that? Anyone who could probably hates joy. The entire concept of joy. This game will end up giving you enough medals if you play the truck levels to beat it but it won’t be TOO easy. All in all Bionic Commando rules and everyone should play it.
The Black Bass is one of two fishing games released for the NES. Unless the Famicom had more. I do not remember playing any Famicom Fishing Fun so I’m going to guess no, however I’m sure portnoyd the Famicom King will tell me so. Anyway this is another game like Sesame Street Hide and go Speak that is pretty well done honestly, it’s just not for me. I do not care for fishing. The closest I ever got was watching my dad play a Fishing SNES game when he couldn’t go fishing in the off months. My old man loves fishing, however I just don’t get it. I don’t get much enjoyment out of this game or the Blue Marlin even though I come back to them from time to time to try again. Still just because you aren’t into a game doesn’t mean it’s bad. If you dig fishing and the NES, The Black Bass is worth a look. If you aren’t into fishing the Black Bass is probably not going to change your mind or be up your alley. I’m still counting this as a good game because I can see that effort went into it and I’m sure some retro gamers will enjoy this.
There are several NES games that take place in Casinos and they are usually pretty good, at least I like them. Casino Kid, Casino Kid 2, Vegas Dreams and Caeser’s Palace are all pretty worth playing if you enjoy the casino stuff. This isn’t worth playing if you enjoy Casino games because why waste your time or money on a game that has….one whole casino game in it when for the same price you can get one that several. All of those ones above have several types of poker games in them. At least two kinds of games to play and I just don’t see the point of this game. Also I don’t think it does it well because the music is droning and bad and what makes those games fun is that the music seems to try to replicate the tense feeling of maybe losing a poker/blackjack/whatever game. This games music just makes you wanna turn it off. Hell even Peek a Boo Poker gave you 8 bit titties, this gives you nothing. This gets the rating of Who Gives A Shit?
This is the best hockey game on the NES. Period. Yes I sassed Ice Hockey. You wanna fight about that? I’ll do it! I’ll fight you in…..Blades of Steel. Because you can actually do that in this game. Just take off your gloves and hockey equipment and just beat the piss out of the other player. I was so fucking amused when I found that out. Holy hot Hannah, everything else about the game is clearly well done too. I’m not a hockey fan or even into any sports because I’m not cool enough really. Or that I just find them boring and uninteresting. I know people get into them and I’d say if you enjoy sports and Video Games that this game still holds up incredibly well today and I can easily give this the good spot even if I am quite terrible at it. Also this game could be the worst thing ever made and I would still give it a good rating just for the BLADES OF STEEL the pixelaited yelling. It warms my heart. It is one of the best things in any NES game ever.
This might be my favorite NES game, or second favorite. I can never be quite sure. I remember seeing this game at my cousins house when my uncle would pick my sister and I up from school and my parents would pick us up from there. My two cousins were younger than me but I still hung out with them and played NES with them. This was a game that caught my eye because up until that point (this was like 1998 or so) I had never ever played this game and so I played it and was hooked. I mean I didn’t know what I was doing but I was having fun. I mean it would take some time before I would get a copy of my very own and really delve deep into this games amazing game play. You play as a kid in a big mecha tank thing. You can play as the tank or get out of the tank and you’ll have to do both to play this game. You also get into rooms and the game becomes a shooter of sorts. It’s some crazy stuff. The game has great music and graphics and a very hard challenge factor (I’ve been trying since 1998 to beat this beast of a game) but I love it. It’s something I WILL beat and beat soon. I can get pretty far in it. The only problem I can see with this game is the fact when you get hit you lose your power ups which are then a pain in the ass to get back. The bosses are nice and big and different and fun to fight. You can even cheese the hell out of them with the pause button trick. Anyway, this is a must own for NES owners and if you don’t like this game don’t tell me because it will make me very sad.
Good Games: 38
Bad Games: 35
Okay Games: 9
Next time I think I’m gonna try to review six games to maybe finish this whole thing before the sun dies.
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