Yep, it’s time yet again for my favorite blog post series. Or at least second favorite. I hope this is at least your favorite to read too! You know the drill. I review five NES games and either praise them or complain about them. This time is like no different really. Several of these games will get praise and I will complain about at least one of them! I cannot wait till I find a group of games where I get to do nothing but complain like a jerk.
Well, here it is. This is the one game you can show any dickheads who are like DURRR EVERY GAME BASED ON A LICENSE IS BAD LOL. I know there are a lot of bad games based of movies and TV show. Don’t make it out like I’m defending all of them, however, games like Batman (and I’m just gonna spoil many other reviews just about every game developed by Sunsoft in the NES days) prove that games can be made out of a license and be a fucking classic. Batman on the NES is a fucking classic. One of the best NES games, period. I will not discuss further. The graphics are still pretty amazing for the old NES. The music is fucking fantastic. The levels are well thought out for the most part (there may be a few “why the fuck did you do this developer” moments) and the challenge for the most part is just right. Every level is harder than the last. Only problem with the challenge is that the Joker WILL take you forever to beat. He is a fucking monster, one of the hardest bosses of ANY NES game ever. Still one of my absolute favorite NES games. It’s also based on Michael Keaton’s Batman who is still the best Batman even if the Flash tried to ruin him. I mean best MOVIE Batman. Everyone knows the Best Batman overall is Adam West.
Despite giving you new weapons, somehow UPPING the graphics and music, I still like this game less than the first one. Not to say it’s a bad game. It’s an incredible game still but I would say it has some flaws. You know how above I said well thought out levels, well this game still has them for the most part, just sometimes they decided to put enemies in like THE worst fucking spots. It’s like “shit man we have a day to make this game harder what do we do” and that’s what they decided to do so. Still despite this flaw I would say (let’s pretend this is 2005) that finding a copy of this game would be worth it. You’d probably pay $5 for it instead of like 80. This game is not rare enough to be 80 dollars worth but that’s what the price is now at conventions and game stores. Sorry you had to suck and still collect video games in 2023 I guess. Anyway I would still recommend this game very highly. It just has that one flaw.
Hey! It’s a Batman game based on a Batman movie back in the time when Batman movies were an unheard of thing and actually a special treat! This was a big thing back then. You had toys for Batman and Batman Returns. This time Sunsoft lost the license but THQ or Radical Entertainment or some shitheads didn’t get the license but Konami did. Going from one company that very rarely popped out any turds to another is a very good thing. Konami’s Batman Returns is a very enjoyable NES beat em up. I think the graphics don’t work as well as the two Sunsoft games but the music is pretty great. Konami never made a bad soundtrack. Ever. At least in the NES/SNES/Genesis era. I don’t know about after that. The challenge factor of this game is pretty wild. It starts out hard and ends “tear your ass hair off” hard. The SNES game is pretty good too but a lot like that too.
I am not an old man in New York City’s Central Park so I do not know how to play Chess. I do not know if I will ever know how to play Chess. I don’t know if the New York Old Man Community will even let others play Chess. I just know that I played Battle Chess like twice in my life. Not knowing what I did and just watching a character shoot another one. Chess was meant to be played on a fucking chess board not in Video Games. Get that old man shit outta my video games damnit! Anyway the graphics are fine the music isn’t terrible. It’s just not what I want out of a video game ya know? I guess I’ll end up putting this in OKAY because I can see people enjoying it if they know how to play Chess and aren’t too lazy/dumb to learn how too.
This is a game that I didn’t play for the longest time. Like decades. Until I played it and actually got somewhere. Not far but at least too level three. You are in a first person Tank thing and you have to find other tanks and blow them up. I can’t give this game a complete review as I’ve only gotten to level 3. I don’t know if it ends up getting more and more annoying but it wasn’t a too bad of an experience. I have no idea who Garry Kitchen is but he needs to remove at least one R from his first name. Gary, not Garry. Weirdo. However I did play this game again recently and have no idea how I got anywhere. Anyway I’ll rate this game an OKAY for right now.
Well three games I cared about a lot and two I didn’t really have anyrthing to say about! I will probably give Battle Tank another go sometime soon but I djust don’t care about Chess. Maybe if I move to New York City in like 2050 when I’m 70. or 65. I dunno. When I’m old I guess. I’m not good at math. Anyway the numbers are.
Good Games: 27.
Bad Games: 26
Okay games: 9
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