I’ve mentioned this many times but for like a year every day I would get up at lunchtime like a lazy bum, eat my lunch and then watch Alf, Chip n Dale Rescue Rangers, Boy Meets World and Sailor Moon all in a row. It was two hours of excellent awesome television and I don’t care what you think. I had some good laughs and then I would be ready for supper at like 4;30. So when I started up this blog of Final Episodes where I talk about television shows gone by and their last episodes. I knew Alf had to be one of the first I would talk about. I believe it was like #8 or 9. The only one of those shows I haven’t done is Sailor Moon, do I do the original anime? do I do the English adaptation which I saw first (DiC) or do I do the second English adaptation that did season 3 or 4. Or do I do all three? I’ll probably end up doing all three and with that show I’ll probably need to explain an entire season of stuff so It’ll probably come but who knows when.
Anyway, since right now I’m clearing up shows that have “sequels” or “spinoffs” or whatever it leads me to this. I did not even know Alf had a cartoon in 2003 when I was lazing around watching those shows. I just know that Alf was something I watched when I was a very young child. I also didn’t even realize he had a cartoon when I was re-introduced to the greatest crossover of all time Cartoon All Stars to the Rescue by some YouTube video. And yes I probably will end up talking about that because who doesn’t want to hear my thoughts on the cartoon where Bugs Bunny teams up with the Muppet Babies? Probably a bad person that’s who. Alf was a part of that series but I thought it was because he was just so damn popular as a live action character that they had to put him in it.
Nope, Alf had TWO cartoons which we will both go over. I will save the other for another time. Alf: The Animated Series was made in 1987 and ended in 1989. For two seasons and 26 episodes we got to see what the planet Melmac was like. This also sadly reminds me of The Big Bang Theory and why I fucking hate that show so much. They made a joke about how the kid wanted Alf to bring him to Melmac but IN THE LIVE ACTION SERIES THE PLANET HAD BLOWN UP which was what they were talking about. Fuck I really hate when TV shows get stuff mixed up because especially today YOU CAN LOOK AT A THING CALLED THE INTERNET AND READ THAT YOUR JOKE DOESN’T WORK AND IS SHITTY EVEN IF IT DID. That’s the second reason I hate that show. The first is that I feel the Sheldon character is probably one of the meaniest looks at autism ever. I guess you can just call me woke or something I don’t give a shit. The Big Bang Theory sucks ass.
But yes, this series was a prequel showing what Melmac was like (the comics also did that I wonder if they ever messed shit up because they couldn’t be calling each other so easily like they could have done in 2007 but the lazy assholes didn’t bother because the show was LAZY HORSE SHIT THAT SOME HOW RAN FOR WHAT 13 SEASONS. Yeah, I will never get over The Big Bang Theory and how much ass it sucks. But yes I’m sure the TV cartoon and comic contradicted each other but the internet was a wild and weirder place back then. I doubt anyone working on the cartoon or comic read Alf.Discussion.Net on Usenet or whatever. Anyway the show is something I’ve never seen so you know what that means, I talk about two episodes instead of one! Woowee!
The first episode of two I watched was called Flodust Memories. It’s starts out with the theme song of some really big cats that can talk singing to Alf. I mean are cats like even more sentient on Melmac or something. If so it kinda makes Alf eating them even more messed up. I don’t know if that was the best idea. Anyway I don’t know if those cats show up anywhere else or if they are just a dream. Alf does play the saxophone which I have deemed the most 80s musical instrument. This episode involves Flo Shumway (Alf’s mom) feeling like the family doesnt appreciate her so they end up getting her the award of Mom of the Millennium on Melmac. I don’t know how long Millenniums last on Melmac. Anyway she ends up winning and ends up going on tour for a year. The family then realize how much they miss her and get her to come back from the tour early, ruining the evil plans of some weird looking melmacian. Oh, and they watch a show called H.A.L.F. which involves a puppet (that looks like Max Wright, I bet he loved that) who ends up crash landing on Melmac. Wild.
The Final Episode is called Skipper’s Got a Brand New Dad. It was shown on NBC on Janurary 7th, 1989. The last year of the greatest decade of the 20th century was upon us. It was written by Duane Capizzi who worked in animation writing stories from 1988 to 2021. I don’t know if he retired or what or is just WAITING IN THE SHADOWS to write more but he’s got one hell of a resume. He wrote for The Real Ghostbusters, Alvin and the Chipmunks, C.O.P.S., Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Extreme Ghostbusters, Men in Black, Aladdin, Adventures of the Gummi Bears, Jackie Chan Adventures, Several Superman and Batman things, Big Guy and Rusty the Boy Robot and even the Carmen Sandiego netflix show. That’s one hell of a career. Gotta give it up for my main man, Duane!
Also another thing I gotta give it up for is DiC Animation literally seemingly only hiring Canadians for their 1980s stuff. Inspector Gadget, C.O.P.S., Adventures of Teddy Ruxpin and this Show all pretty much had Canadian casts (except for Frank Welker and Don Adams and Mr. Paul Fusco, voice of Alf) Also I just learned from looking up Paul Fusco on IMDb that he helped produce Disaster Movie and I’m sorry but that loses you like 12,000 cool points even if you did voice Alf (and give him one hell of a memorable voice too). That movie is still one of the worst film experiences of my life and I routinely watch films filmed on the same kinda camera that filmed my 7th birthday party in 1992.
Anyway, let’s get to the story of The Final Episode of Alf: The Animated Series. It starts off at the Mayo Lodge Family Picnic. Alf and His Dad are there. Rick (Alf’s friend) is there with his dad. Skip is there with his nanny. We find out that Skip is an orphan (Rick’s dad thought he was a dolphin) and that he’s not allowed to do the Wire Hanger Event (where Melmacian father and sons are put on giant wire hangers and shot into the sky and try to latch on to a giant tower. This cartoon is wild) because its too manly. Nanny doesn’t like this kinda talk and throws the judge around while Skip just walks off. Alf then gets Skip to agree to show his birth mark (that looks like two fat people kissing) on bottles of Slug Milk. Which everyone drinks. In hopes to find his parents.
Meanwhile, a big nasty villain, Larson Petty is being told by a banker (who is kind of fucking unsettling looking to me now at thirty eight years old!) that his uncle died and gave all his money to his missing son Eggbert (he’s been missing for 200 years!) Larson Petty wants this money for a giant bomb that he can put rotten potato salad in it. Larson Petty is a real fuckin jerk. He sees the Slug Milk bottle and he decides to pretend Skip is his son. We go to Nanny’s house and Skip, Alf and Rick are there. Skip worries that he may not be like his parents and Alf starts to go on a big old rant but my copy of this just skips over it. This is like the first time that’s ever happened I believe. Anyway, We then go to another scene where Alf and Rick are talking about Larson Petty.
Nanny wonders if Rick will come and visit and Alf says he will even if he has to drag him home by the hairs of his fat people kissing. Larson and Skip are at the bank and Skip just decides to leave his inheritance there at the bank which pisses off Larson. Larson, Skip and Larson’s henchperson thing (it is hard to decipher a Melmacian’s gender.) are in a giant car thing. Larson then pulls out a microphone because he wants to cheer himself up and scares the shit out of a Melmacian walking by saying he’s wearing no pants. Despite pants not seeming to exist on Melmac in the first place. Larson is a jerk. Skip does not like this.
Alf and Rick inflitrate Larson Petty’s army just to be told to go home because Larson no longer has any money. Skip also gets Larson to fire his henchperson Sloop. Sloop is a man’s name right? Melmacian gender identity confuses me. Anyway Alf doesn’t trust Larson and he’s right too because Larson finds out that if Skip meets an unfortunate accident that he will get all the money. Larson is one evil fuck. Alf and Rick save Sloop from his suicide attempt and find out that Sloop was taken by hairless banana moles as a baby. They also learn that Commander Krud is Larson Petty’s show.
Alf and Rick then dress up as Commander Krud and Dunder and almost fool Larson Petty before they are attack by the cartoon versions of Commander Krud and Dunder. this gets Larson Petty to attack Alf with a damn giant stick of salami, so Alf and Larson end up with a Salami fight. We then learn that Larsons son Eggbert was stolen by Banana Moles and two and two are put together and Larson realizes he now needs Sloops signature on the bank forms so he rushes off. Sloop was arguing with Skip on which hang glider he should use and he uses Larson’s so Larson ends up jumping on the one thats all fucked up. Larson falls to the ground all bent and bruised and busted.
Skip is back with Nanny Franny and says that he may not have parents but he’s glad to have a Nanny like Franny. Everyone is happy even though they didn’t find Skips dad. Anyway Larson Petty has to pay 499,999 wornecks (the melmacnian currency) to fix all of his bruises plus tax. So no giant potato salad bomb for Larson.
FINAL VERDICT: Weird show but a lot of fun. The epiosdes have two pretty good morals and were tons of fun to watch. I am definitely coming back to this show to watch more. I hope I enjoy Alf Tales just as much.
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