The Final Episode #97: Highway to Heaven (1984 - 1989)

 

We gotta get some things sorted out first. This was not the intended original #97. That would have been a Disney Afternoon cartoon named Bonkers. #98 would have been Super Friends. #99 would have been Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers and #100 would have been I Love Lucy.  This has changed for a few reasons. 1.) It's CHRISTMAS TIME BOYOS! and I want to talk about Christmas stuff. This even goes for The Final Episodes. Amazing huh. Five shows ended on a Christmas episode! I will tell you all of them now just to ruin portnoyd's fun! It starts with Highway to Heaven. Then we get Tiny Toons. Then Alvin and the Chipmunks. Then it's Care Bears and finally Heathcliff. What a weird set of television shows. I don't even remember a Tiny Toons Christmas special and I watched the bajeezus out of that show. I'm actually tempted to see if there are more Final Episodes but it was more fun to find out and go OH MAN I CANT WAIT FOR CHRISTMAS. These tv shows are like a gift to myself! I give myself lousy gifts.

So since I couldn't do the original list he picked the order for, I let him pick the order for these shows. He was very excited about Michael Landon and Highway to Heaven, the third pretty popular show of his. Michael Landon was a very beloved old timey actor who starred in several popular tv shows Bonanza, Little House on the Prairie, and Highway to Heaven. He was a TV staple for decades until he sadly passed away from cancer in 1991. I've only ever seen Michael Landon in one thing that I liked I Was A Teenage Werewolf but it was definitely one of my favorite 1950s b-movies. I highly recommend you watch it if you are into b-movies. If you masturbate to say Jean Luc Goddard movies you probably won't like it. 

Michael Landon was a good actor in that film. He gave a performance better than the film probably deserved, but I respect when people go "Yeah I'm gonna give this silly movie the best damn performance I can" because I dunno it feels like he respects the audience when he tries his best. I dunno. I never saw a single episode out of the four hundred and thirty one episodes of Bonanza. YTV would actually show reruns of that show one time. I would go "BLAH A WESTERN" and go to watch just about anything else. I've grown to like some western stuff but I still have no desire to watch Bonanza. I will admit that the fact he was in all but three of those episodes is a respectable feat. Good on you, Little Joe. I hated having to watch Little House on the Prairie so much as a child. It was like possibly the best punishment in the world would have me to watch that show. It was THE most boring thing to me as a child. The theme song was awesome tho. 

Now you are all probably wondering why I'm trashing his stuff. Well, I figure I should still be honest with this blog and all. It wouldn't be good to say nice things now and then yell at Little House on the Prairie (I hate this word. It is hard to spell.) when I do it's Final Episode.  I'm just writing all of this to show that I'm not really into the tv shows he was on for somehow decades of time. You know that member of the family that you can't really place where she is. He/She can't be your aunt because she's 20 years older than your grandpa but she's somehow alive. He/She's REALLY into Jesus and all that and isn't too fond of the television of today. and by today I mean of 1990. You still like them because she's still a good person but yeah. That's the kinda man/lady who enjoyed the other shows of Michael Landon. They are the kinda person who loved Highway to Heaven and thought television went downhill after 1989.  All this is to say that Michael Landon was a good man who made TV shows I didn't care about and until today I had never seen Highway to Heaven and it really didn't seem like a great tv show.

The weird thing was this was brought up in a discord chat with the NES FOOLS that I've been talking to for more than two decades now (This show is being brought back as a series of movies on Lifetime which is why it was being discussed). I know these people. So uh, portnoyd either wants me to feel pain or he really wants to talk about Highway to Heaven, so I expect the biggest and best comment on this blog either way. I don't do this for nothing! COUNT CHOCULA was also very excited. Anyway let's get into the Penultimate and Final Episode of this show. OK so this show is Quantum Leap Plus Jesus. Yeah I can get into that. I actually had a lot of fun watching the episode "It's A Dog's Life". That's the episode where Mark (Victor French) thinks that Johnathan the Angel had been turned into a Dog. It's a fun heart warming episode that does end on a weird note but hey I still enjoyed it. I'm actually excited to watch The Final Episode.

The Final Episode is called "Merry Christmas From Grandpa" and was written AND directed by Mr. Michael Landon himself! Now that's cool. I didn't know he directed most of the episodes of this show or even wrote anything. I'm finding out new stuff all the time! The Final Episode starts out with Johnathan the Angel talking on the TV to the President of the United States. I cannot imagine how this episode would have gone if Donald Trump was there. Oh boy that would be a treat, but no It's some another old white guy. He then appears in the room with him and tells him this is no joke. The theme song then plays. I like this theme song, it's appropriate for this show. It's very heavenly. I could see it being played in a church. We then see a Christmas set up and a kid named Samuel. I guess the cold open was something that happens later in the episode! I personally can't wait to see my favorite actor Mark Roberts play the President!

Samuel is being told he has to go by a chauffeur, seeing as his grandpa is waiting for him. Then Johnathan the Angel and Mark the Human come out and say that kid is apart of this weeks assignment. Mark talks about how they should help someone like say a homeless man and his dog. They deserve it more than that kid. Johnathan the Angel tells him that he's also apart of this assignment which pleases Mark. He then says that lady who gave him the money is a part of the assignment. This back and forth ends with Johnathan the Angel saying everyone in the world is a part of this assignment which has Victor French go "That means no Miracle on 34th Street tonight" I always forget that the 1990s movie was a remake. Anyway I really like the back and forth from Victor French and Michael Landon but it makes sense as they had known each other since the days of Bonanza!  

Samuel's grandpa is talking to his son and some guy named Bob about getting a Nuclear Power Planet in this area of the country so that they can make BIG BIG BUCKS! So Johnathan Smith and Mark Gordon show up at the doorstep and talk to Aggie the Maid, Johnathan helped her son, Peter. I don't know if this happened on the show or what but he tells her to expect a call this Christmas Eve. He then uses "The Stuff" also known as divine intervention to get them into Grandpa Joe's office. I don't know the characters actual name so I'm gonna call him that. They get into an argument over Nuclear Power and Three Mile Island and Chernobyl (remember these things happened pretty damn recently by 1989 standards). They leave but not before we get to see the call from Peter!

Johnny Angel and Marky leave and Mark asks him what was the Christmas Gift he gave him. It's apparently Grandpa Ron not Grandpa Joe! Anyway that Gift is a magical gift that gives Ron the power to see INTO the future where Johnathan and Mark are. Johnathan is like the same but Mark looks like he's 80. He talks about how he actually gets to live this long which is really sad when you realize that Victor French passed away in 1989, two months before getting to see the Final Episode of this show. That's some depressing shit. It shows Grandpa Ronjoe how awful it is when a Nuclear Power Planet has an accident and how it took his son from him and maybe even his Great Grandson. He ends up back at his home in 1989 talking to Samuel. 

Now Johnathan and Mark are in Farm Country! Mark talks about how it was great to grow up in this environment and Johnathan says it was. Ooo WHATS THAT MEAN?! Anyway we get to see a Farmer and his family. They are putting up their Christmas Tree on Christmas Eve. Who the hell does that? You put the tree up in like mid December! What weirdos. He then talks to this Christmas Eve Tree Putting Up WEIRDO about the chemicals he uses on his farm. They of course have another argument and he says if the Government will do something he will do something. Then says he's gonna call the police if they don't vamoose. Vamoose is a great word. They again go into the future but this future is like a fuckin post apocalyptic. Bonnie, the farmer's daughter (who is looking haggard and awful for what has to be early 30s) has no fresh water and has to get some from these guys wearing hazmat suits who want insane amounts of money for it. She gets a gun and tries to get some but this fails when ONE OF THEM SHOOTS HER AS SHES RUNNING AWAY. Damn Michael Landon you're making your point heard JESUS.

Now it's time for The President Of the United States. He's watching War of the Worlds the 1953 movie based on the H.G. Welles book.  This time he pretty much forces him to his chair when he has his speech about the destruction of earth. He even brings his point home by bringing in several children all dressed in white who disappear. he tells the President they were his Great grandchildren and great great grandchildren and great great great grandchildren. All who won't be born because of what we are doing to the earth. The President looks worried and doesn't know what he can do. I would have said "BITCH YOUR THE FUCKIN PRESIDENT YOU CAN DO SOMETHING" but Michael Landon was a classy man and he says that it's in the hands of everyone and he'll think of something he can try. The episode then ends with Michael Landon and Victor French wondering if they helped today or not. Michael Landon then says it's up to the people and let's go watch Miracle on 34th Street. 

 FINAL VERDICT: I really liked "It's A Dog's Life" that was a fun episode. "Merry Christmas From Grandpa" was also pretty good, I liked how it's kind of a take on  A Christmas Carol. It was funny without taking away from the serious stuff and it was something that should be discussed. I just felt it was a little preachy and he could have made the people he was talking to out to be less standoffish. I dunno. It's still a pretty good finale and I'm genuinely glad I actually watched this. The two stars have a real good connection to each other and as I said before it has a very Quantum Leap Plus Jesus thing going on and I love that show. What I'm saying is that I'm glad that I and my fictional family member now have something to talk about. Isn't that a great Christmas present?!?