Movie Review #73: Eight Crazy Nights (2002)

 

I wanted to discuss a Hanukah movie. Or tv special. I knew my pickens were slim but I felt that I should look at something related to the other holidays of this time of the year. The only problem is I can't even think or specials of movies for Kwanza or any of the others. It's Christmas with 9,000 and then Hanukah with...four. You got the Rugrats tv special, which is really good. At least from my memory. Then you get another Nickelodeon special this time based around the show Weinerville. I have not seen nor do I want to see anything related to Weinerville. It looks very bad. There's also the weird low budget slasher film Hanukah. I couldn't pick any of them because I was going for a theme of watching holiday movies that are also garbage so I went with Adam Sandler and Eight Crazy Nights.

Adam Sandler is a weird one. I think he can be very entertaining and funny when he tries but there's a clear moment when he just gave up. He clearly did a great job with Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore (and being a teenage boy at the time I will always have a fondness for the movies he made between 1995 and 2000) but he clearly gave up at one point. I remember thinking Little Nicky was okay. I haven't seen Mr. Deeds, but for some reason I've seen all of his really awful poorly made "I'm hangin out with my friends and we might make something resembling a movie because why not?" movies. I do actually thing this is the movie where he went "Yeah I don't give a shit anymore. I'm rich!" 

This movie is very lazy. It's the story of a guy named Davey who lost his parents as a kid and has not gotten over it. It's about him learning to actually cry over the whole thing. He gets in trouble with the law and some annoying turd named Whitey says he will help him become the new referee for Youth Basketball. Whitey wants to win the 35th shitty patch for assholes. It's called something else but I don't care. Davey runs everyone out of his life even Whitey before learning how to deal with the loss by singing Mascots for Foot Locker and Victoria's Secret. No I'm not joking about that. Yeah Adam Sandler had always used money for ad service in his movies but it was at least put in a way you could go "Yeah I can see why Subway is there." this is just ultra lazy. He learns to love again and gets Whitey the patch. Woohoo.

That's not the only problem with this movie. Before he has his moment Davey is probably the most despicable and unlikable and shitty protagonist Adam Sandler has ever played. Adam Sandler has two modes of comedy that can work well but when they work poorly they are so bad. He plays the comedic asshole or the comedic moron (this is why Jack and Jill will always be the worst movie he's done. You get both flavors of his comedy. In his "I don't care whatever" phase.) You don't give a shit if this guy does come to glory at the end. You just want to punch him in his unlikable  stupid face. Whitey (and his sister) are spineless assholes who let the shitty people of this town walk all over them. They also have the worst fucking voices I've seen in any cartoon ever. It's hard to feel sorry for him either. It also feels rushed that the entire town has finally seen how Whitey is actually a good guy at the end but whatever gets this shit over I'll take.

I'll give this movie a few things. It has some fantastic animation. I've never heard of any of the animation studios that had something to do with this movie. Well except for Warner Brothers Animation and I don't think I need to explain them to you fine people. Some of the songs are actually pretty nice (one is actually really nice until they decided they needed to have Whitey with the worst voice ever start singing). I uh laughed twice which makes it better than Christmas with the Kranks. I should take out those jokes for the deer licking a shitsicle with Whitey in it. Yes that happens in this movie. It's very mean spirited and not fun to watch.

FINAL VERDICT: Yeah this movie is a complete failure and is not fun to watch in the least. I will continue to watch Adam Sandler movies because I'm a fucking dope.