Movie Reviews #66: Chicken Little (2005)

 

You know I'm pretty sure the reason I did not even get anywhere with the Disney Reviewing thing was for well two reasons. I'm lazy and I procrastinate like crazy. The second reason is that there were two Disney movies that I really really did not want to watch at all ever. One of them I'll leave for the day I review it (which will be soon enough) and the other was today's motion picture Chicken Little. I didn't want to discuss this because it sounded pretty awful. It's hard to get exicted for a movie where not a single person has ever said they liked it. Like I've seen people at least say they liked say the Michael Bay Transformers but I never heard a single positive word about this movie. So I was not wanting to run out and check it out, and I'm the man who champions so many movies that no one cares about. This however, holy banana mana, yeah I can see why no one talks about this film.

You know those stories where everyone decides to take a shit on the main character? This is one of them. Those stories are already hard to pull off. This one seems to be done by people who clearly wanted to bully someone in their lives and they decided to take it out on animated chicken. It's very very unpleasant to watch. Everyone shits all over Chicken Little because of his little mess up early on in the movie. Even a year later everyone is taking a shit all over him. Including his dad who never believes him and makes his son believe he doesn't care about him. It's awful and I hate this fucker SO much. This guy has now taken Deadpool's spot as my least favorite fictional character. In fact so does his son because he never even bothers to do anything and Zach Braff (that shithead from Scrubs) gives him an awful voice. I can now never go to Portnoyd and be like DURR DEADPOOL'S THE WORST now. Fuck.

The plot just feels like its all over the place. You know the old Chicken Little story of the sky is falling thing. Yeah the sky falls and then for like 30 or 40 minutes nothing happens to that plot. You get the feeling they were just freaking out about what would be falling from the sky. It turns out its from an alien spacecraft that goes to earth each year for.......acorns. Oh and then the aliens kid gets lost on earth and the alien parents and all kinds of aliens comes to blow up earth just because. It's forced and lazy and feels thrown together because it probably was. I feel bad because I like stuff the director worked on before and since but this just feels like something he was forced into.

Another problem this movie has is that they get people with great voices for animation: Don Knotts, Patrick Stewart, Patrick Warburton, Wallace Shawn and Adam West AND WASTES EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. Okay I'll give them Don Knotts as he passed away a year later and probably wasn't in the best of health for too many scenes but the rest of them were wasted. WASTED. You don't do one scene with these beautiful amazing voices. YOU GIVE THEM THE ENTIRE MOVIE. I don't even remember Wallace Shawn's beautiful voice in this movie. I SHOULD REMEMBER THAT BEAUTIFUL VOICE.

FINAL VERDICT: Ugly ugly, unpleasant movie. I can see why this gets put down as the worst movie they've done. (The other one I didn't want to watch gets put down as worst if it isn't Chicken Little so yeah that's gonna be a lot of fun to watch too.)