Comic Review #71: Identity Crisis #1-7 (2004 - 2005)

 

You know I realized that I don't do enough negative comic reviews. I do like to keep it positive but I do feel that I need to from time to time say something negative. I mean it happens within The Final Episode or Movie Reviews here on this blog. I gotta find some more comics to complain and yell about. Like as of this article I think there's about four or five out of the 71 where I was negative. I also don't believe I've ever slagged a DC comic, and there are bad not very well done DC comics out there. I know ports gonna go LOL LIKE ALL OF THEM CUZ IM A DIRTHOLE. but I thought I'd actually look at one I thought I would never read because I know what I like and reading stuff about this comic made me sure I wouldn't like it. Surprise! I didn't really like it!

This is a mystery story on who killed Sue Dibny the wife of the Elongated Man. That's about it. The heroes figuring out this story. Using their powers to figure it out. Oh and they mindwiped Batman and Dr. Light. I'll get into that over why I don't like this story. So yeah, that's it. So here's a bunch of reasons why this story isn't fun, cool or good.

1.) The mystery itself is a big pile of anal shit: First off I'm gonna spoil this 17 year old story, sorry. The killer is Jean Loring, The Atom's wife. She somehow gets rid of every single piece of evidence at the murder scene. To the point that all the damn heroes can't find a thing. Sorry but BATMAN could if this story was written by someone who cared and not some fancy pants mystery writer man who I don't even know was all that popular (Brad Meltzer), but yes Batman could figure out this entire damn mystery in a day. Even if you took out Batman for some reason THE REST OF THEM COULD FIGURE THIS OUT. Yeah shes found out because there were foot prints on Sue Dibny's brain. She tried to burn the body and failed. Another problem is why she did it. She did it to bring Ray Palmer back to her. You know she could have just asked her husband to see if they could try their relationship again. Very dumb. Stupid. I don't like it.

2.) You really should not have sexual assault be a throwaway plot point: I'm not saying that you can't have sexual  assualt be in a story, but I think it has to be the story. To just throw it in there is just very distasteful.  I don't really know what else to point out execept that. Yeah Dr. Light rapes Sue and it's just "yeah that happened let's go fight Deathstroke now!!!!" 

3.) I just don't feel these heroes would mindwipe Dr. Light let alone Batman. They would literally try to work out another way before they fucked up these peoples brains which is not a very heroic thing to do. I don't like when Batman or Green Arrow or any of these big name guys do things that aren't heroic. SORRY IF THAT MAKES ,ME A BIG GAY LAME-O.

4.) This shit is just depressing. You wanna know what happens when Elongated Man finds the dead body of Sue. He finds a fucking positive pregnancy test. Yep. There are some dark stories that I like, mostly X-Men from the 1980s by Chris Claremont, however those still had some positive moments in those story. This story just wants to wallow in misery. They put in all these scenes of Tim Drake (the third Robin) and his dad trying to get over the fact that his dad found that hes Robin. Oh and Captain Boomerang and his son trying to connect after a lifetime of not being around one another, and then they kill the both of them. Yep fun. Oh and Firestorm dies just out of fucking no where which I found to be hilarious and not sad. That's not how you do a death!!!

I'll give a positive to the art. It's really good, it makes these bright colorful characters some of which have silly costumes look real life for this SERIOUS REAL LIFE STORY MANNNNN and that could not have been easy. All of the characters clearly look different from one another and I was a fan of it. Sadly thats about the only thing I liked from this comic.

FINAL VERDICT: I was not a fan of this story. I'll probably do a Marvel comic thats no good to go along with this one. Make it just no fun and miserable for everyone! It'll be great!