The Final Episode #84: The Addams Family (1964 - 1966)

 

The Addams Family was a pretty big deal in my household when I was a kid. My sister and I loved the movies The Addams Family and Addams Family Values. We had Addams Family on a McDonalds VHS tape. Like buy an extra burger and you can buy this VHS tape for 4.99 or some deal like that. I think it was for movies made by Paramount because the other movie we had was for Charlotte's Web, the Hanna-Barbera adaptation of E.B. White's 1952 novel. We watched the hell out of those movies. They were a rainy day staple. I think even my dad got a kick out of the movie too. I mean the like first four or five times he had to watch it. I'll have to ask him. I don't know what my mother thinks of it.

The TV shows were different. I don't remember the black and white show but it really would not surprise me if some station had it on. I probably poo-pooed it because it was in black and white and I was a kid. They made a cartoon in 1992 that I thought was FANTASTIC. I couldn't get enough of that shit but don't worry we will get to it another article because I'll talk about as much of these rascals as I possibly can. I don't think I will watch Addams Family Reunion, the 3rd movie from the 1990s because it's very bad. How bad is it? Not even Tim Curry could save it. It's that bad. Speaking of bad Addams Family material, they made a show in Canada  called The New Addams Family. I will, if I can find the Final Episode, talk about it. It was not very good, except whenever sweet ol' John Astin would guest star. That guy could do anything.

The weird thing with The Addams Family was that it had history even before the tv series or the movies or anything. It started in 1938 with a cartoon series in The New Yorker by artist Chas Addams. I will say this right here and now that The Addams Family is the only good and cool thing The New Yorker actually ever gave the world. The rest of it was hoity toity bullshit for rich assholes. Anyway they adapted it for TV in the 1960s. Right aside another show about a goofy spooky family called The Munsters. It was big in the 1960s for kids to argue what was better The Addams Family or The Munsters. I personally haven't seen enough of either show to know what one I would put on top I just know that arguing over that kinda stuff is boring to me, you know you can like both right?

Seeing as this is a show I haven't seen many episodes of, the big thing of mine is to watch a few episodes and briefly discuss them in a paragraph, so I guess that means that is what this paragraph will be about. That's right it's time for another SUPER SIZED FINAL EPISODE!!! The first episode is entitled "Ophelia Finds Romance" and is about Mortica's sister Ophelia (also played by Carolyn Jones) who comes to the Addams household to see if Mortica and Gomez will approve of her boyfriend Horatio Bartholomew. Oh good because I pasted something from another page I have different text now. Oh well, you'll have to deal with it because I don't care enough to try to fix it. At first it's just because her mother doesn't approve of him however Gomez and Mortica end up not approving of him, feeling that he is faking being rich. So they try to get him to prove it for the episodes runtime. After A bunch of attempts to prove hes not who he says he is, they get a call from Gomez's bankers telling them that he in fact is the second richest man in the world. They are very happy about his and turn all of their ill will into good cheer and then talk about Zen Yogism, something that the Addams Family and the Frump (Ophelia and Mortica) all believe in. He trashes it and leaves. Ophelia tries to date Cousin Itt. Cousin Itt is the best member of the Addams Family. (Also that relationship doesn't work out either) 

The second episode I watched was called "Ophelia Finds Romance" and this one was a dozy of a pickle. I like Ophelia she's like a hippie Addams Family member. Kinda spaced out. Has flowers in her hair. Like they grow in her hair and everything. It's pretty great. Anyway Ophelia has another boyfriend but this one has ran off to join the Peace Corps. Which is the only thing wrong with this episode. You know that the trope is that you run off to join the French Foreign Legion! I know that the trope! Everyone knows that the trope! Not trying to trash the Peace Corps here but you gotta keep to the tropes damnit! Anyway after Fester gets made fun of he decides to join the Peace Corps. Everyone tries to help him out by having him answer questions and do exercise. However even with help from Gomez's friend in Washington he cannot get into the Peace Corps. So they have to try to make him feel like he is needed at the Addams household so he won't join. They succeed and even Montrose comes back. Montrose is a perfect name for someone who should be in the Addams Family. it's weird and very few people have probably ever had that name. Anyway this was a fun episode.

The Final Episode was called Ophelia's Career. I don't know why I chose 3 Ophelia episodes. I guess I was curious about this Ophelia character that I didn't remember from the movies. She's actually in the movies. I just do not remember her at all. I think those movie should get a rewatch. Anyway this episode starts out with Ophelia coming to the Addams household and judo flipping Gomez (this was her thing. She likes judo flipping men. I would let her judo flip me. Rawr.) saying that her new lover doesn't like being judo flipped and ran away again. Morticia tells her to join the working world (after Pugsley insults her. The kids in these three episodes had very minor appearances). She first starts as a chemist in a fun bit with Uncle Fester. Gomez hears her sing and she's not very good but the Addams probably listen to weird off key music (except Lurch is really good at music?!?) and he gets an opera singer come by to help her out.

The Opera Singer comes by and well he's bowelled over in pain in how bad she is. Just as he's about to leave he tells her to do it some way and POW she knocks this out of the park and he's so amazed by this that he's willing to try to find the guy who runs the Opera in the Addams Family area. I'll just call him The Opera Owner because he's got a fancy name that I don't care enough to look up right now. I end up getting very bored when I write 82 paragraphs in a row. Anyway Ophelia practices for six months until the big day. The Addams Family, being themselves give her Fester's throat potion which well blew up when Gomez dropped a match in there, so you really probably shouldn't use that as a throat potion.

The Opera Singer and the Opera Owner show up and Gomez wants like 90% of the Opera's grosses and 10,000 dollars. Also the Opera she plays in have to be one that Mortica wrote called Afternoon in a Swamp (I don't know about you but I would watch this Opera but then again I'm uncultured swine.) The Opera Owner is fucking hilarious. This dude is like already angry as shit having to be at the Addams Family's house. He gives these great angry looks and I wish he would have been in more of the episode. Of course the throat potion has fucked up Ophelia's throat and all she can do is squawk like a bird. However none of this matters as her lover calls her and says that he's in judo now and she rushes to find him. She says something to the Opera Owner and the look on his face is probably the funniest thing I've ever seen. I love this guy and hope he lived the happiest life possible. We get another scene of Gomez and Morticia doing some skeet shooting inside (he loses. Also I feel that I should mention the NES game Duck Hunt here because it had a skeet shooting game. Duck Hunt was fun.) and find out that Ophelia and her lover are happy as hell. It's a good way to end this series.

FINAL VERDICT: I really like this Ophelia character. She was a lot of fun. I hope she shows up a few more times in this series. This show was a lot of fun and I laughed many times. I would recommend it to anyone looking for some spooky fun for this season.