The Final Episode #73: Speed Racer (1967 - 1968)

 

Well, I've decided for two reasons to stay in the 1960s for a little while with this series of blog posts or columns or whatever the hell you call these things. The first reason is I don't want Clutch Cargo to be the last thing from the 1960s I discuss. Who knows what could happen. I could just abandon this blog like I abandoned every other website and blog I have in the past. Not that it's very likely as it's the only thing I'm enjoying internet wise these days, but who knows. Anyway the second reason is that I want to discuss more things from the 1960s and 1970s because I have nostalgia for those decades despite not living in them. It's weird but kids from the 1980s and 1990s would end up with some nostalgia for those decades because of reruns of tv shows from those eras. I mean reruns is how I was introduced to Speed Racer, today's show of choice.

Speed Racer will be the second anime series I've discussed on this blog. I'm amazed it wasn't Sailor Moon or Dragon Ball Z but it's kinda hard to find the original dubs of those shows and those would be the one I would want to discuss as a Final Episode. Those are the versions of the shows I'm nostalgic for. You could throw a stone from google search and find a torrent of Sailor Moon Subtitled. It's not hard. Hell you could throw a stone from google and find the weird Live Action Sailor Moon show that I'll probably talk about too. I'm just amazed those were the first two I picked. I guess it's because they were easily located. I could have told you all that in one sentence but I decided on giving you an entire paragraph of bullshit. You're welcome.

Speed Racer is from the Land of the Rising Sun, also known as Japan. Japan is an interesting country that I would like to visit. They got some really beautiful looking countryside over there. Anyway in the 1960s a man named Tatsuo Yoshida created MachGoGoGo (he also created Gatchaman which became Battle of the Planets over here) which would become Speed Racer when brought over to America. The Manga lasted for 2 volumes and those are some big volumes. I got some Mangas and they stuff those comics to the BRIM. Sadly Tatsuo Yoshida died of liver cancer at age 45 in 1977. His company would go on to create Macross which became RoboTech. I think I can say this guy is a manga and anime pioneer.

The anime was put out in 1967 while the manga was still running. The show ran for 52 episodes and ended on March 31st, 1968. Peter Fernandez did the voice and apparently wrote the American dialogue if the credits at the end of the episode is the truth. He was also a voice director on things like Infra-Man (an insane movie that everyone should see) and Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers, another show I've discussed for your enjoyment.  Corinne Orr voiced Trixie and Spritle and also the Snuggle bear from the fabric softener company. She is Jewish. No joke that's exactly how the Wikipedia article I'm taking all this information is written. They just mention her religion totally randomly right after saying she voiced Snuggle. Jack Curtis directed a movie I'm surprised I haven't seen called The Flesh Eaters (1964) and did voices for Kimba the White Lion and Godzilla Vs. Mothra. Sadly he died of pneumonia because he was allergic to penicillin the only cure at the time. 

The Final Episode was a two parter! My favorite kind of Final Episode because I get to blather on and on about stuff. I like hearing my self speak because no one else wants to hear it. Anyway uh on to cheerier news this is one of the BEST Final Episodes ever. Maybe even top 10. So the Final Episode was called The Race Around The World (Part 1 and Part 2) and hoo boy doggy we got some crazy shit to discuss with you fine folks today. So get on your butts and let's get going. The episode starts with a crazy ass billionaire starting a race around the world, you'll have to use boats and cars that can ride on ice and all kinds of shit. He is giving up a trophy and a mountain of gold. Oh and you get to marry his daughter because you know why not. His name is Karat Goldminer and I think that's what I'm going to change my name too.  Either that or Ulysses Solomon Archer. 

So his daughter Lovelace Goldminer finds out she's to be wed to whatever gross weirdo wins the race and she's not into that AT ALL. I don't blame her. So she pretends to be a boy and enter the race. I don't know why she had to pretend to be a boy to enter the race because there were no rules that she couldnt enter as a girl. Maybe she has some gender identity issues she has to figure out.  So we go to a place where the race drivers are waiting and then two racers talk about how they are going to cheat which is a very intelligent thing to do. Just state those plans out there in the wild. Anyway this pisses off Speed Racer and he and the other Racer I'm gonna just call Lyle get into a fight. Speed Racer clearly kicks his ass. Then it's race day and we run into My Uncle Johnny Pops Racer.  

The race starts and it's pretty easy going for the racers with not much happening until they change to boats. Of course Spritle and Chim Chim, the two "kawaii" characters that every anime ever made needs to have sneak onto the wrong boat. Speed Racer gets into Boat 5 and Spritle and Chim Chim (who if you forgot or don't know is a monkey. I should have mentioned that) get into the boat with Lovelace. So Lovelace ends up getting into an accident with corals and messing up her ship. Speed Racer comes to help and she's refusing even though there are sharks around there. So Speed Racer just jumps into the ocean and fights the Shark with a small ass pen knife. Speed Racer is a fucking badass and you are all fucking wimps. I'm including myself in the wimp category.

So Lovelace and the old guy she hangs out with just swim off to an island to wait for someone else to come by who stole another boat for them. They all end up in the Amazon and she doesn't even bother helping Speed Racer with some alligators. Of course Speed Racer probably fucked up that Gator easily but we don't get to see him do it. That's a shame. I didn't know Speed Racer beat so much ass. Now they are all in planes and Scrunge and Lyle the cheating pilots have this giant razor blade in their damn plane and they go around cutting planes up causing them to crash. Speed Racer messes up their razor blade but these cheaters won't let that mess up their planes. They popped out a damn giant metal rope or something out of the back of their plane and they fuck up Speed Racer's shit. This is just where part 1 ends. 

So Speed and Sparky, the mechanic got out of the plane at the right time and now we are in the damn north pole because why not. They get into snuggly snowsuits and drive this weird van thing that has some weird shit on the bottom making it possible to ride on the ice. So they start to catch up. Never count Speed Racer out of a race. Even if you knocked him out of the damn sky. So Lovelace and the old guy fall down a ice hole and Speed Racer has to get them out. However Spritle and Chim Chim were down there first because I'm pretty sure Pops and Mom Racer do not like them and hope they die from these dangerous stunts. I don't blame them either. I do like the hats they were though. Chim Chim finds out she's a she and tries to tell Speed but Speed just pulls down the top of his hat not wanting to listen to someone with a dumb name like Spritle. 

We end up seeing them again in Africa. Flippin Africa! The Sahara, of all places in Africa. A damn sand tornado pops up and picks up all the cars. Lyle and Scrunge are the first to get out of the sand and then it's Lovelace and Speed.  They pretty much bypass Europe and don't show us any of it but they make up for it for when they get to Russia we get some nice looking Tetris Buildings. I call them Tetris Buildings because they are the kinda buildings that appeared on the front cover to Tengen Tetris for the NES. I remember the days when that was the big game you had to get to be a big and cool NES collector. Anyway in Soviet Russia gas runs out of car! Ha ha. You know I had to make a bad joke like that.

But seriously that's what happens Lovelace runs out of gas and Speed Racer gives them his leftover gas because Speed Racer wants to beat her fair and square. However this nice gesture makes it impossible for Speed Racer and Sparky to win because THEY run out of gas, however Speed Racer's brother  MYSTERIOUS RACER X shows up and scolds Speed Racer for caring about other racers when it's the race he should care about. He says that the best thing would be for him to lose, however he leaves some gas behind because he's kind of a weird dickhead that MYSTERIOUS RACER X. However the boat leaving for Japan with the LAST two racers (which you know happen to be the racers I've been talking about the entire time) is almost out of the dock so Speed Racer does the weird Jump thing the Mach Five can do and well gets on the bus. 

Scrunge and Lyle get their comeuppance and crash off the side of the road. Sparky says they won't be racing any time soon. and yeah they won't be doing that BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKIN DEAD, SPARKY. I guess Speed finally took Racer X's halfassed words to heart and he doesn't even bother to go look. He of course gets past Lovelace Goldminer but at the end of the race he says he doesn't want the gold or Lovelace. He just wanted to prove how great he was. Speed Racer is kinda egotistical. I'll let it slide because he also FOUGHT A SHARK.

Lovelace and her father come to terms about what happened. They have a parade where you see everyone from the main cast plus Lovelace and her dad. Sadly we don't know what happened to her old man friend. We then see Racer X talk about he's actually SPEED RACERS LONG LOST OLDER BROTHER. HOLY MOLY! and he says he's proud of him and then we see Speed Racer say to Sparky there's more races to be won and the FINAL EPISODE ends. 

FINAL VERDICT: This was a terrific last episode. I had an incredible amount of fun. This show is cheesier than the pizza I was eating while watching it. I really want to check out the manga but the last time it was released in America was 2008 and I think those go for like 134090423940 dollars on ebay and amazon now. A shame because I would have reviewed it for this blog and who wouldn't want to see that?