The Final Episode #44: Sabrina the Teenage Witch (1996 - 2003)

 

I like to connect things to one another, you know like Lego. There's actual Lego sets out there these days that I would buy like a big child except I don't have $300 for them. There's this awesome Daily Bugle set that's coming out in June and you get the first official Daredevil, The Punisher AND Blade Lego figures with it. If that isn't cool I don't know what is!? Whenever I watch a movie I like to watch a few like it. Like a few horror films or what not. I kinda wish I could connect everything to everything else. I don't know if that means I have some weird mental disorder or what but I like them. I was originally going to discuss a comic book written by a guy who would has done tons of TV work involving famous cartoon characters but I went with this. I like to connect two different things together, in this case a comic book and a sitcom.

As you can see the last thing I talked about prior to this was Archie Meets the Punisher which was all about the Archie universe meeting the Marvel universe and thus showing that they are connect and it's all in canon. That's right the Marvel Universe, DC Universe and Archie all take place in the same universe. I will not take any disagreements on the matter. They are now all the same universe and if you dislike one you dislike that ENTIRE universe. I have now ended all dumb arguments on that shit. Actually most arguments I see now online are about diversity in those universes and why that's bad so I kinda want the WHATS THE BESTY UNIVERSE or SUPERMAN COULD BEAT THE HULK arguments back. Personally I just want Superman and the Hulk to team up and fight evil. and maybe kiss each other.

So before I got off on a tangent that makes no sense well that comic connects to this show because Sabrina was a member of the larger than you think Archie universe. Did you know there was a spy book in the 1960s called the Man from R.I.V.E.R.D.A.L.E. also Archie as Superheroes. Jughead was Captain Hero after what some weirdos call sub sandwiches. Yeah, Archie's wild. They also have their own set of Superheroes too. So Sabrina the Teenage Witch was created by Dan DeCarlo (who drew 8,000 Archie comics and created Josie and the Pussycats) and George Gladir (who wrote 8,0000 Archie comics and worked for Cracked magazine. I should review some Cracked magazine issues) and first appeared in Archie's Madhouse in 1962. That's right Sabrina predates Bewitched but they just really have one thing in common and that's the whole magic angle really.

Sabrina The Teenage Witch was yet another TGIF show and yes I will make sure I talk about every TGIF show on this thing, at least the ones that lasted more than a season. I'm not trying to search for things like Baby Talk or Billy. I don't want to watch a ripoff of Look Who's Talking or a spinoff of the Billy Connolly character from Head in the Class. He was the guy who took over for Howard Hesseman. Fuck anyone who takes sweet old Howard Hesseman away from me. Fuck them in the rear. It started in 1996 and ended in 2003. However It did NOT end it's run on ABC's TGIF block because that ended in 2000. Sabrina The Teenage Witch and (bleh) The Hughley's both went to The CW before it became a channel that shows comic book shows (is there anything on that station that didn't first appear in a comic right now in 2021??)

I really liked watching the TGIF years of Sabrina the Teenage Witch. I had a crush on Melissa Joan Hart and I think she's still beautiful and I don't care what you jerks have to say about it. I also had a crush on her nerdy friend, Libby I think her name was. I know there was a Libby I forget if she was her nerdy friend or the bitchy teenage girl. I forget which. The first four seasons were about Sabrina living with her aunts and trying to not let anyone know she's a witch and getting through high school. She also has a talking cat who was once a warlock named Salem who is the best character in the show. My sister named her cats Salem and Josie.

Anyway I was a big fan and I was actually very happy when I saw a later season episode when NTV show them. I don't know if they were in reruns or what but I was happy until I watched it and I didn't really like the new get up. The aunts end up leaving in season 7. Her new friends including one played by Punky Brewster were not that great. They were in college or a job or something. I was not with this new Sabrina. Yeah I know she couldn't stay in High School forever but it just stopped being fun. I don't know if it was just that episode or what but I was not with season 5 and onwards of Sabrina the Teenage Witch and didn't bother to find out when the show was being shown on NTV. 

I thought this episode was a two parter because the file I download I MEAN THE DVD I HAVE OF THIS SHOW connected both it and the last episode. I only watch two parters that are really connected and these aren't. All I'll say is the first episode I watched was about a bachelorette party that Sabrina has. I will save the rest for when I run out of Final Episodes of shows I want to talk about and then decide to create The Penultimate Episode. I can't promise that will ever happen but I'm having fun talking about this nonsense so who knows. Anyway the Final Episode was entitled "Soul Mates" and is about Sabrina getting married.

I'm pretty sure at least 32% of Sitcoms ended with a marriage. Either that or them leaving their house for a new one. It's a pretty worn plot by the time Sabrina ended in 2003 and I think they actually do something new here. I'm not an encyclopedia on these things so someone can tell me if this happened before this. Sabrina is having doubts about her wedding and the concept of Doubt shows up to tell her about Alan or Adam or Arnold or whatever her new shitty boring ass boyfriend's name was. I've only seen this guy in two episodes and I don't like him. He sassed Salem and I do not respect that in the slightest.

She gets her stone and his stone and finds out that they are NOT soul mates. Sabrina's cousin Amanda (who is actually played by her real life younger sister Emily! Wild!) end up showing up. They talk about Harvey and Amanda even goes to find Harvey and give him a stone. I guess everyone other than Sabrina knew about these stones except Sabrina. Sabrina is fretting over the fact they aren't soul mates and that pretty much ends the marriage. It gets Sabrina to call off the whole thing and she ends up leaving with Harvey. I'm sure there were some wedding episodes that ended with them not getting married but I doubt there are any that had the wife go off with her boyfriend from the earlier seasons. I'm glad for that because Harvey was way cooler and a lot more fun than boring dirthole man. 

FINAL VERDICT: This was a very meh episode. I guess it was because the episode before it was a better. It was neat to see Aunt Hilda again and to see Sabrina's mom and dad (I don't believe we ever saw them before this). It just feels weird that it ends with Sabrina just leaving a dude she was gonna marry to go with another guy at the last second. Like she doesn't even know he's showing up or anything. Not great but I would still rate it higher than Bewitched because this show at least didn't repeat an earlier episode for it's Final Episode like that show did.