The Final Episode #33: Thunderbirds (1965 - 1966)

 

Do you think there are people who are like really into British things? You know how like people are really into all kinds of things from Japan. It's like that except for Britain. Do you think they argue about whats better the Tomorrow People Vs. Doctor Who. Do you think they've ever gotten into a fight because someone liked Carry on Emmanuelle or something. This just popped into my head while watching this final episode. It's a show from Britain. I could have talked about many many other better things from Ol' Britannia but I had to choose this because I just did.

Thunderbirds was a Supermarionation made by Gerry and Sylvia Anderson. They made several of these shows for British TV. Supercar, Fireball XL5 and Stringray, among others. Thunderbirds involved some seriously ugly marionettes doing all the work in the show. Seriously these are ugly as hell puppets. Usually puppets are awesome but not these douchebags. They would jump into these rockets and planes called well Thunderbirds and fight crime or some shit. I don't know I've seen one entire episode of this show and it was the last one.

Let me tell you something about me as a child. I would watch a lot of TV and yeah there were shows I didn't really like but I would end up watching them because well they were mashed in between two other shows I liked more. As long as there was a show at the other end that I liked I would watch some dumb garbage to make it to it, unlike probably other kids who would go play Nintendo or throw their Ninja Turtles at the wall. There were a few shows that I couldn't watch no matter how hard I tried and this show was one of them. I felt the marionettes were creepy as hell when I was a kid and I would watch movies like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre at like 10 years old. I know as adults we are supposed to be like OUR DAYS WERE BETTER!!! but nah kids have it better today. They don't have to watch any tv show they don't like. They can just stream anything they want.

The Final Episode of Thunderbirds was called "Give or Take a Million" from December 25th, 1966. It's a Christmas special and it might just be the most boring Christmas special of all time. It starts with the guy running the Thunderbirds who is the dad of the guys who ride all the Thunderbirds. It's a family business, that's pretty nice. Uh, he's dressed up as Santa Clause and some kid is there. He shows the kid the Thunderbird 3. For a Final Episode of the Thunderbirds, it doesn't really show them that much. 

They then talk about how the kid came to be here. It seems the Thunderbird guy and some dumbass store owner created a Christmas Rocket to send toys to a hospital for kids. It seems like a lot of work when you could get some guy to dress up as Santa Clause but what ever. Then two guys come into the Harman Store because it's connected to a bank or some shit. I don't know. They tie up the store owner and some other asshole who were dressed up as Santa Clause. Then they cut a hole into the safe and it goes on forever. It's not done in a tense manner or anything, It's just eating up time because I don't think anyone cared about the making of this stupid tv show.

Then the criminals named Scooper and Striker (he does not get the much cooler Y in his name I refuse). (I have no idea if these guys appeared more than once but holy shit do they suck ass.) They then take another eternity to fucking get the wall grabby doohickey to the other side of the wall so they don't do anything to set off the alarm. They pick up gold for another fucking eternity times infinity. I literally felt like time was going backwards and I was getting younger. It was kinda scary honestly. Then the asshole Scooper hits a pencil and it falls on the floor and they have to run off. They dress up as Santa Clause and get in the Christmas Rocket and their stupid asses get knocked out without even meeting the fucking Thunderbirds. One of the Thunderbirds were flying around waiting for the winner of someone who will spend time with the Thunderbirds.

FINAL VERDICT: I will never ever EVER understand how this show got some kind of iconic status. I fucking hated it as a child and I fucking hate it even more as an adult. This show was dull as dishwater and it got a NES game and a motion picture in 2004 made by damn Riker from Star Trek. Seriously I can get Casper. People find him sweet and cute. I don't. I find him boring as hell, but I can at least understand it. I can not understand this shows popularity. I don't know how YTV showed it for at least a decade or more. This show was ALWAYS on ALWAYS. To rub salt into my wound THIS SHOW HAD 32 EPISODES. Jesus. Fuck Thunderbirds.