Movie Review #24: Crazy Safari (1991)

 

I watch a lot of movies. Sometimes there will be a lull within Movie Reviews as I'm not watching as many but when I get on a movie kick you better believe your sweet bippy I'm watching a lot. I also like to write about movies but honestly only when they are interesting. Like me picking up for a trashed upon movie I like, or talking about one I love, or hate. I mean yeah sure I could review Road Trip: Beer Pong but that movie isn't interesting to watch or talk about. it's a bad sequel made years later by people trying to cash in on the name. Very rarely do you have a sequel like that work, especially as a comedy sequel. I try to talk about things that I feel would make good articles/columns/whatever the hell you wanna call this shit. I think I found something wild and weird to discuss today so let's do it.

I have a fond spot in my memory for The Gods Must Be Crazy. It was the end of junior high and the beginning of high school when I rented this from Jumbo Video, so about the year 2000. I was 15. I just felt like watching every single movie from the 1980s I could get my hands on. I actually think this might have been my first foreign film, as it was made in South Africa. Either that or Pieces or The Gates of Hell. Knowing me I probably rented all three at the same time. Some people rush to rent Fellini. I go with Bushmen and Lucio Fulci.

I remember thinking the movie was very silly, goofy but I laughed my ass off. I enjoyed it enough to go back and pick up The Gods Must Be Crazy Part II the next weekend. That movie was terrible. I just remember it being cheaper and less amusing. People just all running around in a very small area trying to catch each other. It was a huge disappointment. Now most people who even know about The Gods Must Be Crazy probably feel like the movie series ends there. Not me though! I used the internet for one thing back then and it was to find as many weird and wild movies that existed thanks to IMDb. I have a list as long as my arm that I'm still going through 20 years later. I might finish that list sometime when I'm 60 years old. Hopefully.

What I'm getting at is that it didn't end in 1987, No sir. It ended in the 1990s as the Bushman Xixo (played by Namibia's most famous actor N!xau) enjoyed some success in Hong Kong of all places. Yep, today we step into discussion of a movie thats a co-production between Hong Kong AND South Africa. What a wild time to be alive. I finally after years of having it on my list sat down and watched this movie at 5:30 in the morning. This is the best definition of a 5:30 movie. That's for sure.

This movie starts off with two men buying back A Chinese Vampire. You know the ones that hop around and you cant use garlic to kill. Yeah those. This Vampire is the Ancestor to the man and he wants to bury him in the family graveyard or something. However during the plane ride they get all mixed up and end up in Africa. The plane crashes and they have to escape. They get lost from the Vampire Ancestor and he gets found by Xixo. All kinds of zany antics happen between both the Asian guys and Xixo and his tribe until they finally meet up. Then they have to fight a diamond smuggler who wants to know where diamond mines are. She appeared in two scenes earlier in the film. I almost forgot she was even in it. Also why do I get the feeling someone somewhere is probably going YES QUEEN to a female diamond smuggler.

The Chinese Vampire goes up against A Voodoo African Zombie and the Zombie gets his ASS KICKED. Holy shit I would not fuck with a Chinese Vampire, that's for damn sure. Oh and Xixo is given the power of BRUCE LEE to fight off diamond smugglers and a rival tribe working for them. That's clearly the highlight of the movie. Some people get excited to see Batman and Superman in the same movie. I get excited to see the Bushman from The Gods Must Be Crazy get the powers of Bruce Lee. 

FINAL VERDICT: This was a very silly but enjoyable movie. Some of the comedy works and some of it doesn't. The copy I watched had a weird narration in a different language in it. I come to find that there's TWO versions with TWO different narrations in TWO different languages. One of the narrators was Stephen Chow who well came to make some cool shit I'm told. His movies are on the big ass list of movies I want to watch before my eyes fall out and I die. Maybe we will do them soon. If you aren't into goofiness but are into seeing bushman ass this movies got you covered there too! See! Everyone's happy!