OK. I know I talked a lot about the Kickle Cubicle ad but I think this might beat it. First off the whole LIFES A BEACH AND THEN YOU DIE take on the old saying of LIFES A BITCH AND THEN YOU DIE is kind of amazing. The fact they had to take the two most random games they published and put it in comics and magazine ads. It's also amazing that I had never seen this before. I love it. I am sure that you know the drill by this point. I will discuss six NES games and then maybe argue with portnoyd about them in the comments. It will be fun and we will all have a good time.
I have no real idea what PC gaming has ever been like. I did not play any King's Quest games ever. or Space Quest. or Police Quest. They seem to he pretty interesting games and I kinda would like to play them. I like Point and Clickers but I am not great at them. I always end up confused somewhere and not sure what to do. I did beat Deja Vu and Uninvited but I ended up using guides to help me because I suck. I would like to try these Quest games but uh, I'm sorry konami but I have to do it on the PC. This just feels janky and weird and wrong somehow. It doesn't feel right to play this on a NES, even if like every other point and click game was brought over from some computer that Damien knows everything about but I know jack shit about. I also wonder if this version does the thing a lot of these Quest games were famous for which was if you didn't pick up a random thing from early on in the game you could never beat it. That was something that would have REALLY annoyed me as a kid and probably make me throw the damn computer into the ocean as an adult. I do live near the ocean since I LIVE ON A DAMN ISLAND so don't mess with me Kings Quest V if I ever do play you.
Oh hey another sports game, but I'm gonna be a bit nicer here because honestly this game is pretty decent for what it is. I am going to talk about how I do think the variety of sports games on the NES is pretty good. I mean if you are a sports game fan you'll probably find at least one sports game for the NES to enjoy based on about any sport. I mean the NES has like I think four Volleyball games. I can't even think of any Volleyball games for any other console. So yeah. This one is by Konami so you know it's competently made even if you aren't very good at it. SPeaking of which remember how I mentioned PLAY THE NES before. Someone on that forum considered this to be the worst NES game and I really wonder if they played more than 5 NES games. This isn't even the worst fucking Volleyball game made for the NES. That's for sure. There's just not much for me to say about this game. I don't know either of the supposedly FAMOUS volleyballers that were in the game or anything. I don't know sports. GO AWAY.
Hey it's Kirby! I love Kirby! Anyway I've always forgotten if he started out on the Game boy or the NES. It turns out to be the Gameboy. I have not played pretty much any Kirby game made after the N64 game and I've only played a little of that one but I love every single one of them. Even the weird spinoffs like Kirby's Dream Course (which is really hard to me but whatever). Hell I love Kirby's Avalanche and that's just a Puyo Puyo game just turned into Kirby. I think that's what that series is called. I dunno. I don't really care. I just like Kirby. Kirby if you just want to beat it is a simple walk in the park. It's just charming and fun. However if you want to 100% any Kirby game it will be REALLY hard weirdly enough. I did it with Dream Land 3 and it was nuts. Still these games were something I loved as a kid and I still love today. Just simple unique fun with a big puff ball.
Kiwi Kraze or THE NEW ZEALAND STORY is the game of uh a Kiwi trying to save his friends from WALLY THE WALRUS. If that isn't the best plot for a game ever than I don't know what is? Anyway this is what I like to call a puzzle platformer becuase you will have to figure out how to get to the end AND how to get past several bad guys without getting hurt. This also has some really fun bosses and the music and graphics are very cute. I just really like this game and I'm glad I was able to finally beat it for the NES bounty makes me very happy. Kiwi Kraze is a pretty fun game by Taito and shows why they are #4 for Third Party Companies (when it comes to the NES and how many companies worked for it #4 is really good). I do think the challenge is a bit lopsided as it gets hard a bit sooner than I would like but it's not too bad. It can be done if you put in enough effort. I like Kiwis and I like this game.
Klash Ball is a game I don't think I ever played before. I actually think this is the first time I've even heard of this game. I could be wrong about that and I could have owned it. Who knows. It's a pretty generic title for this kinda honestly weird made up sport sports game. I played one game and I actually kinda liked it. Kicking the ball off the wall felt pretty good and I'm sure people who can play this game really well feel pretty good playing it. I dunno I want to play this game and see if I can hit the ball against both walls and score a goal. Just see if that's possible. Yeah I know I can't believe I kinda want to play a sports game to see the end of it. That's happened with like two sports games. Ever. (BOTH ON THE NES TOO WYLDE HUH?). So yeah, I kinda like Klash Ball and think it's A-OK.
You know I'm going to make a HOT TAKE that will annoy the SHITTY JERKS on Youtube who refuse to buy unlicensed games. Tengen might be #5 in the list of NES GAME COMPANIES. Yep I mean for the THIRD PARTY STUFF. I dunno how Port feels but Tengen's best games are a lot of fun. I dunno. Anyway Klax is a puzzle game that was made in the 1990s. Different colored blocks fall off a platform and you have to make sure they hit on the bottom platform in the right place. This game can get REALLY frantic later on. Trust me, I beat the game. I mean I would use warps the game just lets you have it and it can be WILD later on. Still it's always a FUN time. Sadly ITS THE 1990S AND THEIR IS TIME FOR KLAX doesn't mean if you beat it you are brought back to January 1st, 1990. Would have been really damn nice if that was what happened though.
GOOD GAMES: 155
BAD GAMES: 123
OKAY GAMES: 52
GAMES IMPATIENT: 5
GAMES OVERALL: 335
Sounds like you are in love with PORTNOYD
ReplyDeleteI think Kings of the Beach was one of the first games I had with box and manual. I don't want to say "complete" because I don't want rabid youtube nuts to swoop into your fine and decent blog and start screaming at me that it's not complete unless I have the accompanying 3" nylon volleyball net that was included in every copy.
ReplyDeleteno one except you guys is ever gonna find this blog lol.
DeleteAlso it's a good game, I played it quite a bit.
ReplyDeleteKings of the Beach and Silent Service are like the 2 most Konami/Ultra games that no one ever played. I guess anyway. Maybe not Kings of the Beach. I remember Kings of the Beach getting a spread in Nintendo Power maybe? Not Silent Service. I think everyone who had or has that game never played it. I haven't.
ReplyDeleteHere's what PC adventure gaming is like. There's LucasArts games and Sierra, basically. Sierra are hopeless meat grinders where you die a billion times and then you get to the end and OOPS you missed the item you needed to beat the game START OVER (I keep reading and you said this, it is true). LucasArts games are goofy fun where that doesn't happen. King Quest 5 is a Sierra game so uh, good luck. They are good games but brutal. Also like you said, this game doesn't really belong on the NES but neither does Maniac Mansion but the MM port is great so I will allow this to be here.
Kings of the Beach is ok. They could have made it more Super Dodgeball-y and it would be AN ABSOLUTE BANGER. But otherwise it's fine. A good beach volleyball game is Beach Spikers on the Gamecube BUT THATS A LITTLE OUT OF THIS BLOG'S SCOPE.
Kirby is great fun even if he's one of the slowest mascot characters ever. It's like Nintendo said "Oh, Sonic *fast*. Well, Kirby *slow*". I mean he is. They made a lot of Kirby games and they are anywhere from just fine to really good. Tbh I think Kirby 3 and 64's art style make them unplayable. I had both and I sold both. Like I understand it fits the aesthetic of the character but it was a little much. My favorite non-GB/NES Kirby game is probably Kirby Epic Yarn. That fit the Kirby vibe and added fun mechanics but wasn't too much.
(not) Fun Fact: I rented Kiwi Krave from Blockbuster. Very exciting fact. The game is fucking hard because you get like 1 hit, maybe 2 with a power up and the enemies really swarm you. The game has a lot going for it though and it is definitely a good game.
I am happily surprised you like Klash Ball. Probably should have been called Klash Ballz to further the COOL DUDE NAMING thing. I didn't think it's too bad either. A more isometric view would have been beneficial but I understand system limitations and uh, music during gameplay is a thing, developer guys but the game gets right the basic gameplay. And it is basic but it works out.
Tengen as #5? YOU MADE HUDSON & TECMO CRY. It is hard for me, NIGH IMPOSSIBLE, for me to put Tengen over the company that did Ninja Gaiden 1-3 or the company that made Adventure Island 1-4, Bomberman and many others. That is a very HOT LAKE that I can not agree with. You can make a case for Tengen in the top 10 of third party developers but at 10 because I do not feel they are as good as Taito Square Capcom Konami Tecmo Hudson Sunsoft HAL & IREM. Tbh, Jaleco would be trying to push them out of the way for the last spot in the top 10.
Anyway, Klax is a puzzle game that annoys me. The play area is so goddamn tiny. The music is FLAP FLAP FLAP FLAP FLAP FLAP FLAP FLAP FLAP FLAP of the squares. It's kind of like you are playing a KLAX MACHINE or something, the whole visual set up of the game. I dunno, I like puzzle games but this one irked me. The first time I played it was the arcade version at a diner. Remember that? When restaurants had arcade cabs. Best times.
This is maybe the most thorough blog reply I've ever seen
DeleteShit I did forget about Hudson Soft and Tecmo. Okay fine they are #7. Even if they aren't in the top ten they still made several games worth owning and NEW AGE COLLECTORS are GIANT SHITTY DOPES forgetting about them and not collecting AT LEAST Tengen stuff, but they are more about HEY YOUTUBE I GOT THESE GAMES GIVE ME MONEY AND WATCH MY CHANNEL then the actual games or dumb nerd shit.
ReplyDeleteI dunno. I enjoyed Klax, yes the play area could be a tad bigger but I dunno, I played through it recently and had a good time. It's hard but not impossible.
I actually no joke want to go back to Klash Ball sometime soon. It seems like a fun little MADE UP sports game. It probably should have been bigger and better for the time it came out but hey it's a sports related game that didn't make me want to turn it off immediately.
I have never played Silent Service and I will not until I get to the S's. If something keeps me from the S's I will never play Silent Service. My first thoughts WILL BE FOR THE CLAWX BLOG.
Kiwi Kraze is fun. I like Kiwis they are cute little birdies. I should show my niece this game as she likes birds.
I would have liked SUPER VOLLEYBALL but we can't have everything in life. Kings of the Beach is a sports game I could probably actually get into but eh. Not now at least.
I love Kirby 3 and that artstyle but it's also a game I remember getting for Christmas. I sold it and now I regret that. The guy buying it from me was like HEY IS THIS ACTUALLY REALLY REAL and im like dude i had it since i was a kid. im a fat slob i dont know how to fake shit. blah. Kirby is just like a nice walk in the park. it's slow and just wants you to take it easy. I like that.
I do think the Maniac Mansion port works better than what I played of the King's Quest V port.
I am glad you adjusted your Tengen ranking. But to your point, I am all for finding them in the top 10 if it means people give them some goddamn respect.
DeleteYeah Klax didn't do it for me.
It would be hilarious if the two of us played Klash Ball versus on an emulator. It would end so poorly that it'd be terrific.
Super Volleyball was AKKSHULLY released for the Genesis. And it's weird because it's SIDE SCROLLING. Yeah, never played it but it doesn't feel like it'd work.
Yeah, 3 and 64 definitely have a slow walk in the park vibe. Unfortunately that is not me. Here's some PORT HISTORY no one will read but you get INSIGHT into why I am the way I am. So in high school, I worked at a nursing home kitchen. My mom worked at the nursing home and got me the job. Nepotism but that was fine because half the people in that kitchen were related to someone. So I wasn't a particularly fast worker and one day someone in my high school class joined. MELISSA DIXON, a tubby black girl. So I was working with her too and it was fine but one night, we were running way late and we had to set up for the morning and she was getting pissed at me because I wasn't going fast enough and she kept saying COME ON DAVE over and over again. I didn't get upset or anything but literally the next day, my brain rewired to how I am now. I work FAST. Maybe not incredibly accurately but I am now always GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO. My speed at work tripled and lol Melissa quit the next day. That speed trickled down to my work ethic and very long story short is largely the reason that I ended up here in Vegas courtesy of my job. Yeah.
The Maniac Mansion port somehow works. I don't know why. We'll talk about it more when we hit the Ms.