Wow. They really did have an print ad for everything. I've been going through my comic book collection. Looking at each issue, making sure there are no defects or weird things like NO GOOD BAD BUGS living in there. Some of these comics I have not opened in a very long time. It's just to see if its something I'm gonna keep, sell or just throw away. Ya know. Anyway, I see a lot of old NES and SNES ads and man Konami really wanted to sell you on games. A lot of them had two page spreads and I'm sure ad space in a 1991 Marvel Comic wasn't cheap. They are pretty awesome ads. I really should do a look at "cool as shit comic book ads from the past". I really should make a list of what I need to discuss for this blog. Anyway this is an ad for Gilligans Island. A game I will discuss in this post. I know that I've ragged on Adventures of Tom Sawyer, Dr, Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and the Bible games but they are a weird part of the NES story. the "shit I think kids might know about this and we could make money on it" part of the story. Capitalism is a wild thing.
This paragraph review of Ghost N Goblins for the NES will have a hot take. In fact it might have two. Ghost N Goblins was put out by Capcom in the Arcades. However for the NES it was made by Micronics and If I'm being fair, it's totally one of the best games that company/guy did. I'm amazed that company made it to the PS1. No seriously look it up. It's wild. They really should have died after they made Athena or 1942 (sorry Damien) and despite this being one of their better games I still do not like this game at all. I think it moves too slowly and clunky. It's a very hard game too so that doesn't help that the controls are hot garbage melting in shit. You get too many enemies coming at you and I've been able to get to level 3 I think once. I just do not enjoy playing this game in the slightest. Here's the maybe second hot take. I don't really like the Super NES game made by Capcom either. I really want to like these games because who the hell doesn't want to play as a knight as he shoots spears into Satan's face but I just can't get into either of them because I just feel they are too hard and annoying. I'll be putting this into the bad games category. SORRY PEOPLE.
Ghoul School is an interesting game. Wasn't this made by a teenager or a young person and sold to Imagineering? I ask because I believe there has to be a story behind this game. It plays differently and better than any other game by Imagineering. You know the guys who did Swamp Thing and the Simpsons games. Those are WAY worse than this game but this game has a problem with it. It's really sad too because if that problem was fixed this game would be something you'd highly recommend to people. I just feel that the enemies gang up on you WAY too easily and WAY too much throughout this game. This is one of those Metroid-type games. You have to find a key to find a horn to find a thing to finally help you get into some door that is right at the beginning of the game. It seems so many games like this one loved doing that. Keeping the hidden secret ending right near the beginning. I dunno. It has been a while since I played this game but I remember it being pretty alright despite the whole fuck you stop ganging up on me thing.
This game has given me a chance. I mean I had this chance other times and I honestly forget if I mentioned it but this game means I get to talk about THE BABY OF SEAN aka SEANBABY from the website seanbaby.com which was really funny to me as a teenager but as an adult is only somewhat funny. The man clearly has some good comedic chops but he is not amazing. He had a worst 20 NES section and he had this game on that list. I disagree with that and we will get to that later. I just remember sending him a message via email too quickly with some spelling mistakes and he send me back a message calling me a stupid moron fuck or whatever he did. That's right assholes I was insulted by SEANBABY. You ain't as cool as me! Anyway I uh kinda like this game a lot. Yeah, I know. It has flaws coming out of its ying yang. Like the fact the jumping is weird. Or the fact you have to keep a hold of Gilligan and do not let him just wander off. The worst part of it all is the time limits in like the last two stages (out of i think 5) that are so BAD that you cannot make a SINGLE MISTAKE or you will lose and then RIP YOUR DAMN HAIR OUT. Something about this game charms me and I enjoyed beating it. I dunno if I ever will but I will be at least be putting it in the OKAY games cuz I know it's not good but I don't really think it's BAD either.
Yep, fuck it. I'm taking a mulligan here. I don't give a shit. These are two of like I think four soccer games on the NES (one of them I actually enjoyed!!! watch out for that review!!!) and I'm just going to say that I could never play either of these games for long because the on the field look overview thing made me sick. Just going back from green to a different color of green. Just made my head hurt and well it's another sports game. I do not know how to play any sports game. You have to dumb down it to so simple terms for me to get into a sports game. This game doesn't really do that. I just know that playing these games gives me a headache and I'm stuffing them in the bad games pile just for that. Sorry, I don't like to mash two games up like this but I really really really do not have enough to say about either of these games. They suck and hurt my head. GOOD JOB JALECO!
Boy howdy does this game bring me back. This had to be one of the earliest titles I got when I restarted collecting. It must have been five dollars at like Microplay or the Flea Market. That was the standard for NES games here in Newfoundland. Five dollars. I didn't mind spending it. Anyway this game was weird and offputting and really hard. I could never really get anywhere but I really wanted to like this game because hell it's Godzilla! You could play as Godzilla or Mothra and if you played as Godzilla you'd probably get fucked by the boss. Those bastards would just jam your ass up into the other side of the screen and shit all over you. Dirty fuckin' creatures. Anyway I would try this again and again until I actually found out how to use some of Godzilla's moves and actually ended up beating it. This game is long and can become very tedious but I still have some nostalgia for it and I'm going to put it in the okay games category. Sue me. (Please don't actually try to sue me over this. I have no money)
Oh hey. It's another very okay Godzilla game. I wouldn't get this game until I was like collecting for a decade or so at this point. I think I bought it from cracked8ball from one of his many many NES game purges. He would buy and then sell games so many times. I am pretty sure if he had stuck to it he could have collected the entire NES set (with unlicensed games included BECAUSE THEY COUNT) like 50 times over. It was wild how good NES colleting was before nintendoage or smelly youtubers came in and pooped all over the place. God damn gross freaks ruined everything. Anyway this is a strategy game. A really really weird one too. It is easier to get into than any of the rice sims where you have to make sure you do 1000 things before you move forward anywhere. It is also harder to get into because you do get into battles with a weird slot machine mechanic (that I believe they also did for the Super Godzilla game) and it uh, is not a very good mechanic. Even when you feel like you get a feel for it you still don't. I dunno. I did beat this game and I don't know how I did it. I don't hate this game but the original game with all of its issues is still better. This will go into the okay pile because it's my reviews and my opinions. Damnit, go do your own set of reviews if you want to see your own opinion!!!
GOOD GAMES: 125
BAD GAMES: 89
OKAY GAMES / HAVENT AGED WELL: 34
IMPATIENT WHATEVER GAMES BLAH: 5
OH YEAH SOME GEMS HERE.
ReplyDeleteMy own hot take regarding Micronics is that, frame-rate and hit detection aside, they were actually pretty fucking faithful to the source material. So you really have nobody to blame for Athena, Ikari Warriors, 1942 and Ghosts 'n' Goblins besides SNK and Capcom, and I will never blame them for anything because I love them. Seriously, play the original arcade Athena on the SNK collection for Steam or Switch, and tell me who's the bad guy after that. I love NES Ghosts 'N' Goblins because, while being extremely difficult, it is indeed beatable and I have done it. For the old bounty! That was a fun time and I loved playing it although it nearly destroyed my soul.
Ghoul School pisses me off because I used to have it and once spent a good hour on a genuine attempt to get anywhere in the game and I got absolutely fucking nowhere. So fuck that game.
I should play Gilligan's Island one of those days. I loved the show when I was a kid. Then again, I was basically raised on 50s-80s sitcoms for the first 10 years of my life.
So I don't talk about this much but when I was a kid I played soccer and by the time I was 14 I got pretty fucking good at the game. OLD MAN HERM would pay me $10 a goal, and one season I made like $150. I still like the game and wish I wasn't a 40 something slob because it would be fun to do again. But I hated GOAL and GOAL TWO and they bored the shit out of me. They always inexplicably got good reviews though.
Godzilla is another game I will defend to the death because it's actually really good. My childhood best friend had it so I borrowed it a lot and didn't know what I was doing back then, but again when I played it for the bounty I really got into it. Godzilla 2 can suck a bag of dicks though.
I will always blame SNK for Ikari Warriors. Sorry.
DeleteI don't think I'll be playing the arcade versions because the NES versions scarred me for life.
Ghost N Goblins i'm sure is beatable but I dunno if I want to put the time in to beat it at this poin tin my life.
Ghoul School can be pretty cryptic at times like all of those "search around and find shit" games.
You really should. It has a weird charm to it.
Do you think OLD MAN HERM would pay you to play soccer now? or do you think he'd think soccer is one of those EFFEMINATE GIRLY EUROPEAN SPORTS.?
I do like Godzilla but I also think it kinda becomes tedium city near the end which is why I can't for the life of me put it in the GOOD category.
I fully support an CLAW BLOG POST about GAME ADS. Lots of fodder there, really. You can even include some insane 90s ones, which there are NO SHORTAGE OF.
ReplyDeleteI abide by GnG and Super GnG being disliked. They are hard for hard's sake at times. While Damien is the NES GNG EXPERT here, I had Super GnG growing up and PLAYED IT TOO MUCH. It's a gorgeous game, seriously with great music and a wide variety of weapons, levels and enemies that you would want out of a game. But fuck me, it's too hard. I made it naturally to the end of the game like once and lol, who the hell replays the game a second time with a shitball weapon to just see a true final boss? I had entirely too much free time growing up and *I* didn't bother. Yeah.
This NES version of GnG is very ok. Like you said, it's competent but then you have to play it.
I have never played Ghoul School. I probably should. I don't have anything to say about it other than yes, it is by the same doofuses who made the Simpsons games, but this looks at least somehow more competent than any of those games. Maybe this is in fact someone else's game and they just coded it. I dunno.
I was not aware you were insulted by Seanbaby. Incredible. Next we need you to finally ask NES SUPERSTAR PAT THE NES PUNK your questions to complete the circle.
I played Gilligan's Island a while back and while I got somewhere in it, it was just kind of... sloppy? Like it was 90% of the way there to being a good game and they stopped. I would not say it's bad or lol top 20 bad (Seanbaby just jumping on an easy target imo) but it's not especially good either.
I have never played either Goal! game. Like, I played some sports games on the NES, both as a kid and recently but soccer is lame. There, rest of the world who loves the sport, I think it is NOT good and fun. So I respect you kicking the can (har har) on both of these games.
The first Godzilla is kind of everything you would want out of a Godzilla game, which makes sense because the Japanese loves them some Godzilla. But yeah, it's too hard to play as Godzilla. Playing as Mothra makes it a lot easier, but it's kind of a failure if the thing on the cover isn't the first choice. I have yet to get to Godzilla 2 so I don't have anything to say about it.
I really should do a ADS blog post. So many weird ones from comics. They would be fun to talk about.
ReplyDeleteThe having the do it twice bullshit for both of those games (was that the case for the sega genesis version?) such a bullshit decision. It makes playing the game even harder. It's a bull shit decision for any damn game. I think Taxan wanted you to beat 8 eyes five times. Jesus man even as a kid with way too much free time I did not have the time for that!
I looked it up and apparently Garry Kitchen from BATTLETANK was apart of Ghoul School. I guess thats the reason its more playable than Swamp Thing or The Simpsons.
I really need to get Pat the NES Punk to answer whos sexier Reginald Vel Johnson or James Avery. The world must know his answer.
Gilligan's Island is really weird because it's better than Chubby Cherub and has more stuff going on than Dyno Warz but it's still not perfect. I really do think you might be right on the money with the "oh you needed to fix some things well too bad the deadline is now and we have to ship". Seanbaby was wrong about it though. Totally wrong.
I don't get any sports. they all seem kinda lame to me. I only know of two soccer superstars which are PELE and DAMIEN C. I legit don't get motion sickness all that much or easily but MAN it happens with those games.
Godzilla is a game that is very rough around the edges but it still holds some charm.
I would like to see what you think of Godzilla 2.
It probably was the same for Ghouls n Ghosts. Why mess with a formula that everyone hates lol.
DeleteBeating stage 1 of 8 Eyes is impossible. 5 times? Fuck.
Dan Kitchen is the Simpsons guy so that tracks. Not sure how much is a lateral move though.
I still want to take your list of questions and go to a con he is at and go "CLAWX FROM NESPLAYER HAS WAITED 15 YEARS FOR THE ANSWERS TO THESE QUESTIONS AND YOU'RE GOING TO ANSWER THEM". I bet he remembers NESPlayer and you. Pat is like, one of like 2 people to emerge from NintendoAge and not be a piece of shit.
The SHIP IT ANYWAY mode still persists to this day, now they have the DAY ONE PATCH to make the game playable on day one, because it's otherwise not. Really sad. Just like Seanbaby. But he did meet Mr T so he's got me there.
I shall try Godzilla 2 in the near future and REPORT IN.
Garry Kitchen did the simpsons games too. Battletank at least seemed uh playable. Seriously though those three simpsons games would be on my bottom 50. it's sad they somehow fucked up all three times.
Deleteit was actually play the nes that pat the nes punk was on.
he's kinda weirdly shitty but it a vastly different way. apparently he berated his mother on stream for never bringing him to mcdonalds to get a happy meal.